Sleeping Through the Night. - Phoenix,AZ

My daughter was also not a sleeper. In order to get her to fall asleep, we did nothing to make it "worth her while" to get up at night. We would go in and physically lie her down and tell in a sweet voice to go to sleep. We would let her cry 5 min. and then go in again, physically lie her down and say the exact same words and let her cry 10 min. We would increase it by 5 min. and after a few nights, she learned to fall back asleep. They were long nights but well worth it! Every once in a while she would wake up again crying but we would lie her down again and she would fall asleep. Some babies don't know that if they wake up that they should just go back to sleep. We saw this on 20/20 or one of those shows years ago. It showed the baby, with an infrared camera, going through the learning process of learning to just fall back asleep. Maybe it will work for you.

Honestly, he's pretty young to expect that, though most mainstream moms will tell you other-wise. We are the only Country that I know of that has such unrealistic expectations for our children. I was talking to a friend from France the other day, and she had never even heard of CIO.... it's just expected that babies wake up, and parents take care of them at night, as our job doesn't end at night. I would highly, highly, highly recommend reading the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantly. Also, here are some great links:

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct05p204a.html
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

Also, every baby is different. Some need more food than others, some sleep better than others etc... Just follow your baby's lead!

Good luck!

Hi A.-

Sorry to say, but it sounds like you are in the same boat as I am. My daughter is now 26 months old, but is not and never has been, a good sleeper. She has never really slept through the night. As an infant she wanted to eat a lot, and as she has gotten older, she quit eating but still continues to wake a lot in the night. It is not for long periods of time, but it is disruptive all the same. At this point, half of the time she just goes back to sleep and the other half I just let her know I am there and she goes back to sleep. She screams (not night terror type though) when she wakes so it impossible to ignore. My Doctor said that most kids wake a lot, but don't make enough noise to alert their parents. So he is not concerned. My daughter is very difficult to put down both for naps and at night time too. Even if she is dead tired, she fights it all the way. She even does this leg pumping thing to try to stimulate herself in an effort to stay awake. We even had a brain scan to make sure she didn't have a disorder. Everything is fine. The Doctor told me that some kids just need less sleep than others and that she does not want to miss anything. As far as naps go, she has never really taken them and still doesn't. It is such a battle to get her to actually lay down in the bed and sleep that I don't do it. The only time she sleeps during the day is in the car seat. She has finally learned that she is stuck in there and gives in. If your child is like mine, all I can say is good luck and sleep when he does. If you find out any valuable tricks let me know. I would love to change my daughters sleep patterns. Don't worry too much though, I have asked her pediatrician, her neurologist, and a sleep specialist and they all said that this is just the way she is and there is nothing to worry about. She will sleep if she really needs it.

My two kids didn't really start sleeping through the night until about nine months. Feeding solids a couple times a day will help. Also, I know it may sound crazy, but try putting him down for the night a little earlier. I used to put my daughter down at 7:00pm, but then I heard that it helps to put them down earlier. I was skeptical, but I started putting her down at around 6:15pm, and she actually slept longer through the night. Only waking up once rather than every two hours to nurse. That was around six months, then at nine months she slept 12-13 hours straight without waking up.

A., I went through just exactly the same problem you're having almost 18 years ago with my oldest. The doctor said to give him a pacifier (All 3 kids used them and they're fine)to avoid being used as a living pacifier yourself. Then if you want to try some bottle feeding,if not all, take a bottle and cut a small X in the nipple. Then add a couple-three spoonfuls of rice cereal into the formula, then shake well. That will add a little more substance to his feedings at night and he'likely sleep longer between demands. I understand where you are. It hurts to be chewed on and used as a pacifier. Mine bit down with his gums and hurt me to the point of bleeding, and I know you don't want that. And not getting sleep is no help in taking care of your home and children, so please give it a try. My son started sleeping through the night completely at 6 weeks because of this very advice. Good luck, and hopefully sweet dreams, dear.

Hugs, Kat

He's probably just hungry. If a baby is hungry, feed it. There is no real logic in not feeding a hungry baby. Our son ate at night until about 8 months. Just don't make him cry it out or anything. If your mother's instinct says to feed your child, feed him. That's all I can really say. When he's done with this huge growth spurt (which it's probably either that or teething), he'll be able to sleep through the night.
Good luck.

Listen to your baby. He needs to nurse at night. Are you aware that you can still bring your milk back, if you should regret weaning him from it? Just listen to your baby...babies know what they need. They suck to satisfy more than hunger...it develops their jaw muscles, it brings them pleasure, etc. They are this age for such a very short time. Is it possible to reach deep inside to find that place which will allow you to happily meet his needs? I know it seems hard when you are tired, etc, but it taught me endurance, unconditional love, and patience. Lessons we learn sometimes require extra effort.

My life changed when I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Mark Weisbluth. He's a Pediatrician that has done extensive sleep research. First, he says that until babies are 9 months old, it is not unreasonable for them to wake up for 2 night feedings. Some babies don't need this, but others do. Second, your baby needs to be getting more sleep during the day. At least 2 naps and it's up to you to get him to take his naps, not up to him to decide when/if he wants to nap. What the other mom said about going to bed early is accurate too.

Since you can't really do the cry it out method because of your other son, it might be helpful to have someone else go into the room to sooth him if you know it hasn't been long enough for him to be hungry again.

I could go on and on about sleep because I feel like I know so much about it after reading that book. I totally recommend this book!!! It will help with all aspects of sleep. Sleep is not a feeding issue, it's a function of the brain.

Or if you don't want to read the book, you can always just leave me questions through messages on here and I'd be more than willing to answer :)

I don't have a simple solution for you. My son just turned 1 and is still not sleeping all through the night.
Although he is getting closer. I think, though, that he may get thirsty or a dry throat (think about it don't we wake up in the middle of the night thirsty, I always sleep with a glass of water close by). All I can suggest is to keep hanging in there and try different things. It just might take until he is ready which could be whenever. Hope all goes well.

He's still pretty young to be sleeping through the night! And right now he still NEEDS to nurse. Your job IS to pacify him. He's still a baby and the best comfort and nutrition he could ever get is from you. If you would like to work on sleep issues, read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and begin working on them, but do have reasonable expectations.

If you only weaned him because he was biting you, teach him not to do that. Most babies learn quickly not to do that if you take them off the breast immediately and show your disapproval in a firm, but gentle voice.

Your son is physically old enough to sleep through the night. Check out the the book "On Becomming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo (I think). It's about putting your baby on a feeding schedule. I did it with both my boys at approx. 2 1/2 months and after a couple days they both began sleeping through the night. My youngest is 4 months old and the second day of introduging a feeding schedule at 2 1/2 months he began sleeping through the night. Good luck.

Hi A.. Wow, I am right there with ya girl! My son is six months old, and will not sleep through the night! I'm getting so exhausted. I also don't want to let him "cry it out." It just breaks my heart. I have a 4 year old son whom I also don't want to wake up. We should get our boys together and maybe they can play until they wear theymselves out! LOL!
~M.

Dear A.,
I'm sure you had very good reasons for switching from breast to bottle, but if you didn't do so long ago, you may be able to go back to it and it may be easier on you. If you want to try co-sleeping and breastfeeding back to sleep, it works for some women, although others find it impossible to go back to sleep while breastfeeding (because of the issue you described, or because of back aches, etc). I do that and I find I get better sleep, and have done so for a year. I can understand how bottlefeeding frequently during the night must be h*** o* you. I reckon he's probably not hungry at night, just needing you and the comfort that eating brings, but I'm just guessing, and after all, comfort is a legitimate need!
I also think that on the days he has a 20 min morning nap one or two hours of nap at lunchtime, he is getting plenty of day sleep! At that age my son napped usually 3 times a day, about 1/2 an hour each time, sometimes as much as 1 1/2 hours but very infrequently. I find that giving them a predictable nap time every day and using methods that you know sends them to sleep (going for a walk in the stroller or the sling, or nursing, or lying down with them) puts them into a routine they LIKE and tend to stick with. Anyway, I hope you get some sleep, good luck!

My child has never slept very well, but she did start sleeping better when I started feeding her solids for three meals instead of one and then supplemented with milk. This lasted for about two months then she reverted back to waking up like every two hours wanting to nurse. I finally at eight months had enough of not getting any sleep and started trying to wean her off the middle of the night feeding.

I found a great book called "Good Night Sleep Tight" and it helped a lot. It is a gentler way of crying it out. My child was stubborn and so the no cry solution did not work very well for me just because of her temperment.

It took two nights for me to get her weaned off the middle of the night feeding. The first night was very hard. The second night was better and then she just stopped waking up as much and would go back to sleep with just rubbing her back. Hope this helps.