Sleeping by Herself

My twins were born 7 weeks early, and when they finally came home from the hospital they would not sleep in their cradle or crib. They would wake up after 10 minutes like clockwork. I don't know if it had anything to do with reflux or not feeling "safe" enough even though I would swaddle them? Anyways, for the first 2 months of their lives the only way they would sleep was swaddled tightly in receiving blankets, and in their infant carseats. I also had one of those inserts for little ones that cradle around their heads and held them upright better. I was breastfeeding and it was ackward to have them in their carseats on the floor near my bed.... so I slept on the couch and both of their carseats sitting on the coffee table. (it was a wide, solid coffee table)

Try putting her in a swing or bouncy to fall a sleep. Those seem to help induce sleep, my 8 week old can't resist. When I get desperate, she gets put in the swing! How does she fall asleep for naps?

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child-A book, Read it. i have told so many about it, I can't write it all again. It works

I don't know if this is the kind of information you're looking. I had the same problem with both of my girls and found that I was getting next to no sleep at night! With my first I had a bassinet next to the bed and it helped. With my second, I got one of those Arms Reach Co-Sleeper. It's the same height as our bed and I can just reach over and pull her into bed to nurse her when she'd wake up and slide her back when done. That way, we both had our own space to sleep in and I slept so much better! She wouldn't sleep in her own room for a couple of months. I think she was missing her daddy's snoring!

If you're interested, they are sold on a few websites as well as Baby's R Us. I bought mine from Target.com. Walmart.com used to have a few available.

I hope you find something that works and get the sleep you need! Congrats!

maybe try a different paci? we used the avent ones. i know what you mean about not sleeping. my now 4 year old daughter was in our room until we moved to a new house 18 months ago.

hey, i also have a (nearly) 10 week old girl (born 8/26). we have started putting her to sleep on her belly b/c that's the ONLY way she will sleep for long periods. we started noticing she would sleep well during nap times, but not at night & the only difference was that she slept on her belly during naps (b/c i had her wherever i was & could watch her). i totally understand about hearing her swallow. she was in our bed for 2 weeks & i just couldn't take it anymore! but the belly sleeping has been for about 2 weeks now & she's sleeping so much better! she's also sucking on her finger when on her belly & that puts her right to sleep (she is not an easy one to get to sleep to begin with, so this is a miracle!).
or have you tried a tight swaddle?
i also recommend the book "the secrets of the baby whisperer"

M.,

Right now, your body is programmed to wake when the baby moves to be sure you keep her fed and alive. I slept with my babies until they were 2, so I don't really have any advice. Just wanted to send some sympathetic thoughts, and congratulate you on your healthy baby, and kudos for breastfeeding. When she is a distant 15-year-old, you'll treasure the snuggly time you had now.

Best wishes,
K.

The following is the answer I gave to another mom, but you have the added problem of nursing addiction. My daughter was like that. I was miserable. She wanted to nurse all the time. When she was 8 mos old she had an ear infection and couldn't nurse for a couple of days, it was the break I needed and I refused to let her nurse again after that. THEN, she got addicted to the bottle and wouldn't sleep without it, if she woke in the night she had to have another one. She was overweight and a real pain at night. AT 15 mos, I asked her doctor for advice; he told me to stop the bottle cold turkey, which I did. She cried 2 hrs the 1st night, 1 hr the 2nd night and half hour the last night; after that she fell asleep on her own just fine.

We've all been there at some point, but the baby will sleep on her own if made to do so. After clean diaper, feeding, make sure she is warm enough. Doctors are making mom's keep babies cooler these days and on their backs, but babies prefer to be cuddled and warm, just make sure she is not too warm. Prop her back against the side of the babybed so she is on her side; she will feel cozier this way. Some babies have to cry a few minutes before they fall asleep. Crying is good for them, it wears them out and helps expand the lungs.

My daughter used to put a heating pad on the babybed, rock her baby to sleep then have her husband pull the heating pad off and laid the baby on the warm spot, that way he didn't wake up when he felt the cold mattress. She did not cover her baby up b/c her doctor didn't want her to. If you are not using blankets in the bed, maybe a cap on her head would help.

My babies didn't sleep through the night until 3 mos old or so when I started them on cereal, but they all slept in their own bed. I kept them in a bassinette in my room until they were a month old, then put them in their crib. Babies make a lot of noise at night and sometimes cry a bit then go back to sleep. It is best if they are in their own room.
Hope some of this helps.

First try swaddling, or make her bed warm with a heating pad or one of those microwave heating things, or even put rice in a big sock and microwave that! If warming her up doesn't help, then try "The Baby Whisperer". Scrap what she has to say about breastfeeding and schedules and do what works for you - I'm convinced she's never breastfed a baby and she even states that extended breastfeeding is for the mother, not the child. But, she has some good techniques on getting a baby to sleep alone.
Another option is to get a co-sleeper like this: http://www.armsreach.com/shop-3/ so that she's right next to you and easy to get to, but not in your bed keeping you up. If that's too expensive, you can get them used on Craig's list and Ebay.
Good Luck:)

Keep working on the pacifier. Everyone thinks babies should automatically be able to keep it in their mouth and that isn't the case. They all have to learn how to use it. I personally would not start the sleeping with you thing, because it will have to eventually be broken and the older they get the worse it's going to be. Also are you putting her on her back? Alot of kids can't sleep that way, especially if she's having reflux. Trying getting her propped on her side or put her on her belly and she'll sleep like a log. We had to sleep ours on their bellies because they had horrible reflux and they did just fine. Goodluck

I have a 5 month old and she is just getting to the point where she can fall asleep without crying. I think it was just her way, up till now, of winding down. She did it whether I held her or not. Swaddling and trying lots of different pacifiers helped us. I didn't let her her nurse to sleep if I could help it. She's my second and I just couldn't take getting into that pattern again! 10 weeks is still so little. These are not permanent patterns yet. I wouldn't worry too much about sleep patterns until about 4 months. There isn't anything that's permanent-- everything can be rearranged with patience and determination. As far as the nursing constantly goes- find a paci she likes and then hold her like she is nursing (mine loved to walk around this way). It will be okay. Don't worry so much!

M.-
I have four children everysingle one of them slept with me for the first year or so... then I transitioned them directly into a bed. I did not start out this way either. I was going to put those babies ina crib or i a placknplay and they wre going to listen adn my kids told me something different. Doctor sears has a book that describes this type of parenting... and I really believe in it ( although he is too extreme for me) Attachment parenting is what it is called. The babies get the needed attentionad nwarmtha dn comfort from their parents and then... when ready they transition into self comfortors instead of being forced to do something when not ready.

All of my chldren are well adjusted independent sleepers who are good kids and know that if they need me, i am there for them. Infact many people comment on how confident they are. Doctor Sears believes that this confidence at young ages is due to the attchment parenting style. i also believe this to be true.

Like I said Doc Sears is too extreme for me but I took some of his ideas and went forward with them in the way in which

they worked for me and my family and I do not regret any of it... my kids never took a binkey....no teeth problems... it is okay ...
So no I do not have any odeas for you. Just support in I have been there and I understand and it is okay...

if it makes u feel any better, i still cosleep with my son b/c of that very issue. i'm fine with it though. it's just going to be a hard habit to break. i'd talk to your ped, mine had many great ideas.

Congratulations, M.! It's so precious to watch your baby fall asleep while she's nursing, but it's also nice to get some well deserved sleep of your own... alone! I was in the exact same scenario with my daughter who just turned one. I pray that your baby isn't like my Kaelyn was. She would cry from her crib, and the second I picked her up, she stopped. I would nurse her at night, but it wouldn't last long before she was back to sleep in less than ten minutes. Our saving grace was her thumb. As much as I didn't want another thumb sucker, the pacifier was such a pain! The minute she lost it in the crib, she's crying. I just tossed it out and next thing you know, she's sucking her thumb at 2-1/2 months old! It's been a life saver, because she is able to soothe herself. Try and get her used to something, whether it be a blankie or a soft animal. Of course, you have to make sure it's nothing she will suffocate in. My daughter still doesn't sleep through the night, and it got a whole lot harder before it got better. She was a better sleeper as a newborn than she was a 3-6 months. She was getting up 4-8 times a night, on average of every 45 minutes to an hour. It was brutal. She's 12-1/2 months now and teething has been a new hurdle to keep her up at night. We tried the cry it out method, but it's not worth it. It only got worse for us. We also tried to co-sleep, but like you said, you hear her swallow and you're awake. It didn't work out well for us. So in the end, I continued to get out of bed over and over each night in hopes that she would sleep. I looked at it as my own special bonding time with Kaelyn, just watching her sleep with her sweet little eyes closed, and then slipping her back into her crib. I crawled back into my own bed just long enough to get warm... then she starts crying AGAIN!! It is what it is... enjoy her while she's young!

One suggestion... with the colder weather, put a heating pad on her mattress to warm it up before you lay her down, remove it, and lay her down. If you lay her on a cold sheet, it will probably wake her up. Who knows... it might help!

M.,

First, DO NOT put her on her belly to sleep, certainly as a bf baby her risk of sids is low, but no chances. Second, I will give recommendations to you as a RN and IBCLC...so evidence based, medical recommeded from a lactation expert!

Since you want her to sleep on her own...try these things...keeping in mind, 10 weeks is still too early to really form/make sleep patterns (read, in your bed now is not forever or you can't train her)

1-I would try a good swaddle blanket...the miracle blanket is well liked. Try with arms in and out and see if that helps her keep settled.

2-warm bed ideas are good from the other posts

3- NO CEREAL...for so many reasons...just simply doesnt make them sleep and it's BAD on many levels...which is why it is not recommended by pediatricians and intelligent medical professionals...it's merely a grasp at sleep:)

4- Nurse her, then while you are holding her...put in the paci and snuggle her back to breast and rock/cuddle whatever her for a few more minutes. This will help keep it in her mouth, but yet still be with you. Many moms make the mistake here of putting them down too quickly...part of nursing is the being held..but if she figures out the paci does not necessarily mean the end of mommy time..she might take it better...and once she is good and asleep, it's ok if it falls out....she should eat once she wakes up...3-4 hours later...right baby girl? :)

5- Hang in there! It's tough when you aren't sleeping and loosing your mind, BUT she will eventually sleep and you will sleep and feel normal again, and then you will feel unneeded and guilty because she does so well without you:) Ahh motherhood!

Lastly, in no way are you spoiling her in your bed, I love that she's there, but if you want her out, and that's ok too, then try these things. Also Dr Sears' site www.askdrsears.com has great bf/sleeping info.!!! C.

M.,
Congratulations on your new baby! I know what you mean about putting the baby down when they are asleep and as soon as their head hits the sheets, it seems they wake right up! Some tips that I found to help were in a video and book called The Happiest Baby on the Block. You can actually find the techniques online if you google it, but the video is great because he shows you how to do it. This really helped get us through these rough spots. Other tips to try, tucking a soft, fleecy warm blanket in the crib to lay your girl down on, to prevent that cold sheet feeling. Some even suggest putting a warm water bottle there to warm it up before you put baby down. I know its hard to get that baby used to sleeping in her own crib or bassinet. I could never get good sleep because every noise, swallow, sneeze, etc. would wake me up. Some pro-attachment parenting advocates may disagree with this, but putting my baby in his own room to sleep helped me get better rest, which was vital to me being able to be a good mom during the day. And, there are other attachment parenting methods you can still use, such as using a baby sling. By the way, my baby would never take a pacifier either. Best of luck!