Sleeping Arrangements for Opposite Sex Cousins

Updated on December 20, 2010
H.X. asks from San Clemente, CA
22 answers

I'm so thrilled that my entire family is coming to visit soon. I have two sisters, and they are married with kids, as well my parents are coming too. I have a large 3000 s.f. home and plenty of floor space, but only one bedroom that I can convert to a guest room. I was thinking of having my three- year- old daughter and her 4-year-old male cousin sleep in her room, so they can be in bedrooms and we don't have to worry so much about noise for them. My only spare bedroom will go to my sister with a baby still in the crib, and I'll take our baby in the master with us. That leaves two adult couples to hash in out in the living rooms. So the question is, how kosher is it to have a male and female cousin bunk together? And, even if there are no concerns at this age of sleeping together, will they even get any sleep?

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So What Happened?

Cool, I think the cousins will have a blast sleeping together. As for Adults in the living room, I have two living rooms, so each couple will have a degree of privacy. I think my family is in agreement that getting kids tucked in early and out of our hair makes sleeping in the living room worth it! Think I'll leave it up to my sister if she wants to take my daughters room and have her little guy in there too. And for the lady who said she wouldn't come if she were to be put in the living room, there are no such primmadonas in my family. I don't plan on dictating the sleeping arrangements. Just trying to figure out our options and we will decide together. My family is easy going, we love to have fun, and my parents can have the choicest room when we get past the baby stages. But one thing is for sure, little kids in the living room is not a good way to enjoy adult time. We'll put kids in the living room when they are old enough to stay up late (and stay our of our hair).

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answers from Seattle on

I would have NO concerns with them sharing a room...they might be too excited to sleep but that's half the fun of having family come to visit :)

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answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't think it's a big deal that it's a boy and a girl, but you might want to "get" them to sleep in separate rooms then pop them into the same room after they're asleep.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

I think it's fine to have the cousins share a room, and they'll love it, I'm sure. Might not sleep very well, but they'll have a great memory.

As for the adults sleeping in the living room, if I were visiting my family at my sister's home, knowing how many people will be there, I'd have NO PROBLEM sleeping in a living room! I don't expect people to have 5 star accommodations for me when I am staying at their home! In fact, I think it would be fun.

Sounds like you're going to have a WONDERFUL holiday with you family. ENJOY!!

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answers from Honolulu on

You should ask the boy's Mom.... her thoughts on it.
It is her kid.... and maybe, being away from home... she/he may not want to or may want to do that. Or she may just want her kids all with her.

Also have a back-up plan.. .if it does not work, or if one kid wakes the other or they simply do not sleep well... like that.

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answers from Chicago on

I would have no concerns with cousins of the opposite sex sharing rooms/beds. But, personally I would have adults get the rooms with some privacy though and let their kids just sleep on the floor. Have your daughter sleep on your floor or take the couch. I think adults should always get first dibs on bed space =) We actually have a cheap little pop tent that my daughter (4) loves to share with a buddy for sleepovers--do you have anything like that?

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answers from Los Angeles on

They are four...I don't think there should be any worries about "opposite sex" cousins sleeping in the same room. I've had mine do that with their's been just fine.
As far as getting sleep, the first night they might mess around and talk too much, but I bet they fall asleep after a while and then the other nights are no big deal. Sounds like a great arrangement...have fun!




answers from Spokane on

Definitely not a big deal at this age. Just double check with his mom



answers from Oklahoma City on

I would put the adults in the bedrooms and let the kids bunk with their parents on pallets on the floor or air mattresses. Your kids sleep in your room and that frees up two rooms. Two sisters, spouses, and their own kids in two bedrooms.



answers from Sherman on

I see nothing wrong with it. My son is 5 and he regularly has sleep overs with his 2 female cousins who are 6 and 9.



answers from Dallas on

It is fine to have them sleep in the same bed at that age. They are family. Don't expect them to sleep good, they are kids and will be having fun talking and laughing. We always stayed up late whem family was visiting, that is what kids do. Have a great holiday.


answers from Jacksonville on

No worries. Especially if the kids know each other and get along well. My kids have shared with cousins before. Now that my son is 12, we don't do that anymore... hahah... unless the girls are in the bed and he is in a sleeping bag on the floor.

But there shouldn't be any worries at their ages.



answers from Anchorage on

I slept with my male cousins all the time growing up, and we loved it. We did not get a lot of sleep, but it was fun, and harmless.



answers from Norfolk on

I don't think it matters if they are same sex or not. I think at least in the first night they probably won't get much sleep either way just because its exciting and new to have somebody else with them in the room. At this age I don't think they care and I don't think it should matter. Enjoy your holidays!!



answers from New York on

At their age, the opposite sex thing does not matter. Put them in separate beds or cousin on the floor in a sleeping bag. Whether they play and talk too much to sleep, doesnt' have anything to do with the boy/girl issue. Try the arrangement out. How long are they staying? If it's just a night or two, shouldn't matter. If it's a longer time, and the sleeping arrangement isn't working, figure out something else



answers from Philadelphia on

Why are you having adults in the living room? I would put all adults in a bedroom so they can have privacy, and if needed space the kids would sleep in the living room. I would tell your family your sleep arrangements before hand though because I personally wouldn't stay if it was me.

Good luck I hope it all works out.



answers from Denver on

I slept with all my cousins, boys and girls until we were adults. We were always at my grandma's house or my mom's house and each place had one big room for the kids, we piled in beds, and cots and were just fine.

Here is how my mom handled it generally:
- Grandparents got first priority, they got the nicest bedroom (typically the guest room). She always just felt it was a respect thing, they earned their right for the best sleeping quarters.
- The other couples were given a kids room and if they had babies the babies stayed with them. My mom brought a cot or blow up bed in my baby brothers room one year and the parents slept in there with their baby in my brother's crib (my brother slept with my parents)
- At her house the kids all stayed in the living room (we had a living room and a family room separate from each other.

At our house we had 4 bedrooms (master, 2 kids rooms, and one guest room) so it worked perfect for two adult couples, her parents and themselves. Us kids were plopped and we loved it!

Not sure if this helps but we just ran it in order of seniority.

Good luck and enjoy!



answers from Dallas on

At that age I would say no concern re. opposite sex is - they don't even really know what it means other than they look different naked. Check with the mom to make sure she's ok with it. You may be right about the staying awake thing, but I think that's more of an issue when they're a bit older. Probably if you all play hard with them during the day, they'll crash when it's bedtime :) Have fun!


answers from Las Vegas on

As long as he's not at the pokey age it should be fine.. I doubt they'll care about the gender thing anyways they're too young. Just keep the door open so you can peek in and make sure they will sleep. I think if they're in separate beds or whatever they'll be more prone to sleep.



answers from Kansas City on

My son and his best friend (girl) were 4 and slept in the same bed for sleep overs. We had no problems. My cousins, male and female, all slept in the same bed with no problems either. Sure, it had the potential to get rowdy, but it was so much fun! I wouldn't worry too much about it. If they don't go to sleep in a reasonable amount of time set some blankets on the floor and seperate them.



answers from Redding on

At this age, they're just little kids. Let them sleep in the same room. What a fun memory for them. They might not sleep much because of the excitement of having a house full of family, but I don't see any reason not to let them share the same room.
We've gone camping and had boys and girls in the same tent, stayed with family and put kids together. We never saw anything wrong with it and neither did the kids.

It sounds like you're going to have a wonderful time!


answers from Dallas on

I have boys (6 and 12) and my brother has girls (10 and 12), and any time they all sleep over together they all sleep in one room together. As someone else mentioned, I'm not sure how much sleeping they do. ;-) They are very close cousins and have a great time together. My brother and I have no problem with them sleeping in one room. As long as all of the parents are O.K. with it, I think it would be fine. Have a wonderful holiday with your family!



answers from Dayton on

No worries with cousins at this age. I wouldn't put the kids in the living room as someone else suggested just b/c I would want them "up and away" so I could enjoy my evening. You may want to put a TV in the room so if they are too excited to sleep you can turn a movie on for them to fall asleep to if it gets really late.

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