Sleeping Alone - Chesterton,IN

Updated on September 03, 2009
L.T. asks from Chesterton, IN
17 answers

I have a 15 day old who sleeps great by himself durning the day but at night as soon as I lay him down he is up in ten minutes. This happens every night. Durning the day I lay him down in the same way and he stays sound asleep. Any suggestions to help him out at night. Swaddling didn't help.

Thank you!1

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

He probably has his days and nights mixed up - that is common at this early age - it will take time

M.

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B.S.

answers from Chicago on

I don't want to come off sounding mean, but, 15 days old? This child just spent 9 months growing inside you, and in 2 weeks you expect him to just be ok with laying down by himself? If he was 15 months old that is one thing, but this poor child is lost in all this open space you have in in. Try swaddling again and if nothing else, hold him for a while. Good luck. (I've got 3 myself - 26,24,18)

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L.D.

answers from Chicago on

Unfortunately, it sounds like your baby still has day/night confusion. This is normal, especially at only 15 days old. The reason is because, in the womb, babies are most active when we (the mothers) are at rest, and vice versa. Because a baby's brain is so underdeveloped, they don't really start to grow out of it until around 6 weeks (sorry!). This is about the same time they begin to exhibit social smiling, which indicates maturation of the brain.

Whatever you do, DON'T try to force the baby out of this confusion by keeping him awake during the day. This only creates a condition of overtiredness, making him even less apt to sleep at night.

I would highly suggest the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. This book will give you a lot of information about baby's sleep habits as they develop and will coach you through how to handle each phase.

Best of luck! And congrats on your new bundle : )

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Yep - he probably has his days and nights mixed up, which is totally normal for some newborns.

Do your best to over-exaggerate daytime and nighttime in the house. In other words, make his daytime as 'daytime' as possible. When he gets up in the morning open all the curtains and turn on all the lights. Get him outside (even if in a car or stroller) for plenty of sunshine and fresh air...of course with all this rain lately that's a little tough.

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J.

answers from Chicago on

Did I read that right - he is only 2 weeks old? Congratulations! I think most babies have their nights and days reversed at first and it takes them a while to adjust. So it would make sense that the baby would sleep more easily during the day - it's his "night" from in the womb. He will eventually adjust.

Also, look out for being overtired. It was a classic sign for my kids - if they went past the 'tired' time they would crash and then wake up crying very quickly. The best baby sleep advice I ever read was to put them down after 2.5 hours awake all day long (I think! It's been a while - but basically, as soon as they start to get tired and before they show signs of being tired.)

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Their sleep cycles are very different from ours. Try holding him for a good solid 20 minutes after he is asleep and then put him down. It takes them that long to fall into a deep sleep, and moving them before them tends to wake them up. Keep using the swaddle. It really does help.

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B.S.

answers from Chicago on

play a radio or some static on the radio.. bet he notices cuz its soooo quiet!

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K.R.

answers from Chicago on

L.,
What you describe is extremely common and normal!
Dr. James McKenna is a researcher at Notre Dame who has a Mother-Infant sleep Lab. Infant sleep is his focus of research. (You can google his name to read more about his research.) It is his theory that babies are born with a "survival instinct" that wakes them at night if they are not close to an adult's body. During the day, the wild animals are not a threat,(so babies sleep OK alone) but at night, in a primitive culture (and your baby does not know what type culture he was born into) any baby that was alone and not up close to an adult would not have survived. The wild animals would carry him away. When you put your baby down in a separate bed at night, you are then just fighting biology! I concur with the other posts that suggested getting a co-sleeper to keep him close to you at night. If you'd like to keep him in your own bed, be sure that the mattress is firm, there are not a lot of pillows and blankets by his face, there's not a crack between the mattress and headboard he can get himself trapped in, you are not smokers and you are not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. If you are opposed to that, then try the other suggestions of swaddling him very tightly, hold him at least 20 minutes after he falls asleep to allow him to get into a deeper sleep, perhaps have a heating pad on low in his crib to warm the sheets and then remove the heating pad when you put him down, add white noise and dim lights.
K., IBCLC

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Some babies prefer the daylight. Leave a light on in his room at night and when he's asleep just dim it a little. When he's older he may change and start pulling the blanket over his head. Then it's time to turn the light off. Good luck.

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R.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.,

It often takes babies a while to sort out night and day. They often continue sleeping patterns they had in utero (if your baby moved a lot at night, he'll be up at night now). The supposed reason for this is that when you're pregnant, walking around during the day has a craddling effect on the baby.

That being said, I highly recommend Dr. Harvey Karp's 5 S's. (Swaddling, swinging, sucking, side/stomach hold, and shushing.) Check out his Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. I think it's a very effective (yet weird looking) method for encouraging newborns to sleep better.

Also, at this point it doesn't matter *where* your baby sleeps -- in the stroller, swing, car, carseat, a front carrier/sling, your arms, etc. are all fine places as long as it's a safe environment.

You can also try co-sleeping, but I would suggest you check out Elizabeth Pantley's tips for safe co-sleeping in her book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution.

Having some white noise (a non-ceiling fan, air purifier, or humidifier is great for this -- you could also put a radio on a staticky channel) is helpful, and making sure that it's dark in the room are good tricks.

Hang in there -- you're through the hardest part. In a few weeks, your baby should be sleeping more at night.

Best of luck,
R.

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

Please don't forget that up until two weeks ago, he was CONSTANTLY with you. Now he is put in a room all by himself, how unfamiliar! If you are opposed to the arms reach co sleeper or cosleeping, then you need to try your best to recreate the comforts of the womb; swaddling, white noise, dimmness, but not total darkness, etc.

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J.K.

answers from Peoria on

I bet he thinks it's too quiet. Either put a fan in his room or leave a radio on, during the day the house is so much noisier. Just a suggestion from a mom whose child slept one night in her crib, all over nights in my bed!!! I just got her out of my room, she's 14!! I learned a big lesson, work at it now, it's harder later.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

My guess is that he is getting too much sleep during the day! Keep him up more during the day and maybe he will be more tired at night time. C.

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D.R.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds like he may have his days and nights mixed up. When you put him down for a nap, make sure the room is light - not dark. When you put him down for bed, make sure it is VERY dark. Also, it may be that the house is quieter at night and he is used to all the noise from the womb so try to put on some "white noise" to help. Good luck!

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I.J.

answers from Chicago on

Try a soothing CD, maybe ocean sounds or soft wind sounds.

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

Have you tried a co-sleeper so that he can sleep in the room with you? I couldn't bear to put any of my kids in their own rooms, so they always slept with us. I had an Arms' Reach Co-sleeper that attached to the bed and that way, they were right within "arm's reach". I could wake to nurse and then put them right back in their bed.

There is a great book, the NO Cry Sleep Solution, that also talks about a lot of sleep issues. the Baby Whisperer is good, too, and so is anything by Dr. Sears.

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J.J.

answers from Chicago on

I highly recommend this resource....

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

As the mother of a former high-need child, I also highly recommend a lot of holding and rocking and nursing. Your baby had non-stop 24/7 physical contact with you for the only life that he has known until now (in the uterus). For him, to try to sleep on a hard, non-flesh, surface that doesn't move or make sounds is a very strange experience indeed. Ashley Montagu, an anthropologist, in his book "Touching" says that human babies aren't actually done with their gestation until 9 mo. after their birth. So he says that ideally they should be held continually for the first 9 months of their post-birth life.

http://www.amazon.com/Touching-Human-Significance-Ashley-...

I also used to sleep with my baby in the front-pack sometimes, so that I wouldn't drop him when I fell asleep. I would prop myself up on pillows and sleep with him that way. I would also often sleep with him lying on his side next to me in the bed. But if you are not comfortable with doing that, there are also bassinets that you can buy, which attach to your big bed, so that the baby is next to you, but also in his own space.....

http://www.armsreach.com/shop-3/the-original-1/

I also highly recommend using a lambskin specifically designed for baby-use (they are real lambskin but can be laundered as needed).

http://www.sheepskintown.com/baby-sheepskin-short-wool-p-...

http://www.kiwi-sheepskins.com/detail.asp?product_id=BA001

http://www.sheepskinfurs.com/27-baby-lambskins.html

Best wishes,
J.

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