Sleepaway Camp So Young?

Updated on June 19, 2013
J.T. asks from Oradell, NJ
31 answers

ETA: oops, one girl is 7 3/4, not 8 yet...

I have an opinion which will be clear but I'm honestly curious if I'm wrong... A few people I know are sending their kids to sleepaway camp starting at ages 8 and 9. One girl is 9 and going to sleepaway camp for seven weeks. Her mom stays home, she's an only child and they have plenty of money. I know this bc I work with the father and he makes same ballpark as I do and it's plenty to support a family of 3 very comfortably. I can't really get an idea why they do this except in their town, it's common. Another friend just sent her kids for a week. She says to teach them independence. It seems so young to me! Why do they need to be so independent already?? The poor little daughter was so nervous. I genuinely like the mom though and can't ask without questioning her judgement as a mother - which of course I"m doing and don't like doing it bc I really like her. So I'm asking here. I assume some moms here also send their kids. I can see when they're 11, 12, 13.... Sounds like it can be really fun. And it depends on the type of kid. My oldest will want to go probably. And I can also see if people live in a city and want their kids to get to the country. Or if it's by far more economical and parents are cash strapped. I remember a program called Fresh Air kids - though I think that was sending them to people's homes. But for financially comfortable parents in the suburbs, I don't get it. I'm wondering if they just want a break from their kids or they really do think building such independence at 8 or 9 is crucial. Maybe I"m not fostering enough independence in my kids... They do go to some little day camps which seems to call for more independence than I had a their ages... Sorry if I"m stirring the pot. I don't get it but am happy to be educated. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Bug - I meant educated by a post such as yours! You went at 8 and had a great time. That's what I'm curious to hear about... Believe me - the parents who are sending are educated themselves. I agree there could be reasons to send kids such a parent issues they need to work out but in this town, it's apparently very common and I doubt all the parents are having issues. And I'm not a saint of a parent at all. It's more valuable to hear you say you had a great experience at 8 bc while I'm no saint, wanting a week break at the expense of my 8 year old (actually 7.75 yr old) being terrified and crying to leave me is too much for me. (She didn't want to go and apparently cried yesterday getting on the bus) But - I am curious if she'll come back having loved it and I'll more seriously consider it for my kids. I'm actually betting she will have liked it but still wonder about it given she didn't want to go. Was it worth it... So again - hearing you have great memories is what I was curious to hear about.

Interesting answers - keep them coming. It's just a new phase of parenting that's come up and I figure there's no 100% right or wrong. I'm projecting a bit too as at 8, I'd have been terrified to go to sleepaway for even a week. Yet I did adjust to college very well. It just raises an issue when a mom is saying it'll build independence in that peer pressure way of implying if my kids don't go, they won't develop independence so I'm short changing them... I do get the overall point. Just seems young. And seems like most agree 7 weeks is too long!

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answers from Albany on

My daughter went away to gymnastics camp first time when she was 8. Most of her team went together. It wasn't to teach independence really, I sent her because she wanted to go.

She had a blast.

I can see how it wouldn't work for every child or every family.

But it worked for us.


I should mention, first year was only a week. The following year she did two weeks. The year after that I gave her the choice of taking a trip to see the US Gymnastics Olympic Trials OR camp, I couldn't financially swing both. She picked the trials.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter was 7 and went for a week. It was fine, she had a great time. It was for her independence, not that I wanted a break from her.

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answers from Washington DC on

My kids are 8 and almost 6 and I can't imagine sending my 8 year old away for the summer. She hasn't even had a sleep over with her friends yet! I work at a school so I am off for the summer. Yes, I do need a break once in a while, and when I do, my husband happily takes them on his day off and I can get the whole day to myself. So, I guess it can work for some people, but not for me.

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answers from San Francisco on

Well I went to sleep away camp when I was nine years old and I loved it. It was only a week but I wish it had been longer. I got a little homesick but only right before I went to sleep, the rest of the time I had a blast.
My older two kids also started going to camp at around that age, usually for two weeks. They also loved it and went for several summers, up until the age of of 13/14.
Camp is like preschool, you don't send your kids because it's necessary, you send them because it's FUN, and they meet new people and learn new skills. If they don't like it then don't send them (that's my third kid, zero interest in going to camp, much to my dismay!)
And um, yeah, having a break from my kids was nice, and I'm pretty sure they enjoyed having a break from me. It also gave the husband and I some much needed alone time.
Re the full summer sleep away camps, I think that's a regional thing. I know it's very common on the east coast, and those kids manage to grow up just fine. As a matter of fact I bet they handle the teen years and transition to college a lot better than kids whose parents have kept them more sheltered.

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answers from Anchorage on

I was 7 or 8 the first time I went to a sleep away camp. I doubt it has anything to do with the parents wanting a break and more to do with the kids wanting to go! There are some really cool camps out there, truly something for everyone. I think it does also help foster some independence and helps the kids learn that they can function without mom holding their hand. I understand your hesitation, I had a hard time leaving my kids just at day camp, but I see zero wrong with it either, and if my son found a camp he really wanted to attend I would be okay with him going.

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answers from Dallas on

I went to camp at 8, and I STILL have incredible memories. I STILL keep in touch with the friends I met. It was one of the best experiences of my childhood. I think sleep away camps are really valuable, and it has nothing to do with independence. (Though, it can.) It helps kids learn how to work in a group, branch out and meet others they wouldn't normally, follow directions from people they wouldn't normally be around, experience structure and activities they normally wouldn't. These experiences can really help a child become well rounded, and open to new experiences and people. Sure, you can do that at home maybe. However, there is nothing wrong with (and I think it's more valuable) to do that outside of the home.

To add, exactly what is wrong with a parent wanting a week break? Perhaps, you are a saint and the idea of a week off sounds like hell. I think a week for the parents to have off, and the child to learn exciting things...sounds heavenly. Also, what do you mean by, "am happy to be educated?" So...a parent sending their child to camp, is not educated? They must be dense and less rounded? Come on, that's just ludicrous. it actually makes YOU sound dense.

I think seven weeks is insane. What is the point of being a parent? 1-2 weeks? Awesome! 7? No way. Might as well send them to boarding school. UNLESS, the camp is a therapy camp. That would make complete sense.

ETA: Thanks for clarifying the "educated" comment!!

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answers from Honolulu on

Well this girl and the program you said she is going to, is SEVEN weeks long. Whoa, that is a long time, huh?
If that were me, I would not send my kid(s) for that long. To an away camp.
At that point, being it is such a long away type camp, the parents... will have a "break." Right? Like a 'vacation' for themselves.
Who knows why they chose to do this for their daughter.
We can only speculate.

Then, I recently posted a question, about my son who is in an everyday summer program, and his friend who is not. So his friend is "bored" etc. Anyway, it was interesting, because many Moms... felt that having a child in a "structured" all day everyday summer program, is something they don't believe in, for a child, per summer. Rather, the idea that a kid can stay home and be home with the Mom, is more important. So that their kid can relax, have fun, play. So it seemed, that even with an everyday all day summer program... some felt it was not a good choice for a kid, and a Mom, if she is home, it is preferred that their child not be in any program. For summer. Some didn't agree that my son is in an all day everyday summer program. So even for this type of thing... many disagreed.... With my question and felt I should just have my son play with his friend, who is at home doing nothing. And they didn't understand why my son is in an everyday all day type summer program.
But my son, LOVES his summer program. He tells me everyday he LOVES it. And he comes home, happy. And goes to it everyday, excited.
So even if I am a SAHM, sending a child to a summer program, is not a 'wrong' thing. Although many feel a child should just stay home. With Mom. And play. And I felt questioned, as to why I even sent my son to a summer program.

So now, per "camp" type summer programs, well 7 weeks is a long time. But if it were a shorter duration, then I don't see why sending their daughter is "bad." But as you said, in their town, sending kids to these camps are "common." That is what they do there.
SAHM or working Mom, a parent decides what or where to send their kid for the summer. Also though, the child should WANT to go. Not being forced. And per age, this also has to be considered per whatever program a child is signed up for. And their personality.

Who knows why a parent will send their kid to a 7 week away camp program.
And her child is 9.
When my daughter was 9, she went to an away camp. But it was only for a weekend. And she loved it. But I imagine, if it were for 7 weeks... she would not want to, go.

It is not only about instilling "independence" in a kid.
So many other factors, are intertwined into the decision of the parent as to why... they send their kid to a 7 week camp.
Who knows.
You said you don't know why this woman is sending her daughter to this camp. Because she is a SAHM, and this is their only child etc.
But unless she actually says her reasoning, we can only speculate.
For better or worse.

Hopefully, her daughter.... likes it. And if not, I wonder if their daughter can just come home?

Going back to what I said above per my son: It is just interesting, that many Moms did not having a child in an everyday all day 'structured' summer program... and that instead a child should stay home with Mommy all summer to relax from school. But yet, per this summer away-camp you talk about... many agree to it.
Very contradictory.

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answers from Washington DC on


I personally don't think 9 is too young for sleep away camp. I sent my oldest son at age 7 for one week and the next year both he and his brother went for one week.

I do NOT agree with 7 weeks. But hey - if they have $7K (I'm saying $7K because our sleep away camp is $1K a week) to blow on their daughter, who are you to judge? Now I do NOT feel at age 9 for her first sleep away camp should she be gone for 7 weeks. Seven DAYS, yes. WEEKS....NO.

Sleep away camp is FUN!!! I'm sorry if you didn't get to experience growing up. But really? It's a BLAST! Our sleep away camp is horse back riding, archery, pottery, swimming in a lake, zip lining over the lake, fishing and so much more.

What camp is she going to? What type of activities does she have to choose from? If the child has told you she's scared to go, then you should tell the parents.

for me? sending my kids to sleep away camp wasn't about making them more independent. It was giving them something new to do and try for ONE WEEK out of the summer. I don't think I could send them away for much longer than that! :) They are going to my parents for 3 weeks this summer and I think that's a bit much! My now adult daughter came back to the States when we were living in Belgium for 7 weeks - she went from PA to CA and back again...and was with family the whole time!

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answers from Spokane on

At 6 and 7 my son went to "sleepaway camp" for 3 days and 2 nights. At 8 he went for a week and at 9 he can't wait for his week at camp. He loves the camp and I know a few of the people who run it and work there so I was comfortable sending him. He is a very independant child and wasn't the least bit scared about being away from home. My now 5 y/o may never go to camp...he is a completely different child. We'll see.
But as far as sending them to a 7 week camp ~ that seems like a very long time! I had a hard time with my son being away for 1 week and when I picked him up he asked if he could stay for another week :)

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answers from Austin on

I went to camp for 2 weeks. I was 8 and had just finished 3rd grade. I wanted to stay longer. Now, my best friend was also there with me.

If I had been home, I would have been at Day camps.. But I was having so much fun swimming every day, crafts, hikes, sleeping in a tent. Outdoor showers. It was like an adventure.

7 weeks is a long time, but when you are having a great time and know at home, you would mostly be bored.. Camp is paradise.

Some of these camps are pretty glorious.. If this child likes camp, has lots of camp friends. she may want to go back every year I know lots of families that scrimp and save to be able to send their children each year, because the kids love it so much.

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answers from St. Louis on

Hi J.,
Personally, I wouldn't send my 8 yo kid to camp for 7 weeks. It seems too long, but kids are very different and some might be very happy and enjoy it, and many others not; it depends on the parents, the kids and how well you know your kids in terms of behavior, feelings, and much more.
I don't feel the need to do what other parents do with their kids. I always do what I feel comfortable with, and how my kids feel about it. I do what works for me and my family. Besides, there are many other ways to teach children independence and skills to get along with others and teamwork, etc.
A. :)

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answers from Washington DC on

Seven weeks? I can see a happy, self-assured kid of 8 or 9 possibly doing a week of sleepaway camp, weeks? Unless it's a specialized camp that meets some need this child has (there are camps for kids with certain illnesses, camps for the arts where kids develop a whole show, camps for behavioral issues, camps for learning a language, etc.) but if that's not the case, heck, I wouldn't even want my 12-year-old gone for that long.

Though like you I would wonder why they'd do this, please bear in mind that there may be things going on within the family of which you are not aware. The mom and/or dad might have issues that need working on (or their marriage might need work) and they might need time on their own to do that. Or the girl may have issues that mean she and her parents need a break from each other. Or the parents might have some family issues such as helping their own parents handle something, so the mom and dad feel they need to have their daughter placed somewhere safe to free them to deal with things. There's no way to know if this is just about sending the girl to camp or if there is more going on behind the scenes. Sometimes when I see parents do things like this that make me scratch my head, I try to remember that there may be private reasons of which I have no idea at all.

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answers from San Francisco on

I don't think 8 or 9 is too young, unless the kid really doesn't want to go. The whole summer seems like a long time, but certain adventurous kids might like it.

So I don't think it's a bad thing at 8 or 9, at all, especially if it's only for a week. The kid might find that she really loves it, despite her nerves! I don't think that they need to have "independence" forced on them that young, but you're never too young for "adventure," in my opinion.

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answers from Denver on

It seems to be quite a common thing in our township, too. MOST of my daughters' friends go away for 7 weeks every summer. My niece's best friend is going away this summer for the first time. She's 6. Her older sister (8) and brother (13) have been going for years already and this summer, it's her turn, I guess. I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but all the kids going away are Jewish (I don't actually know ANY non-Jewish kids who are going away for that long) and they're specifically going to Jewish camps. The kids love it and, as one mom explained it to me, they see the same kids every year and make life-long "camp" friends from all over the east coast. None of my daughters' friends have ever complained and they really do seem to love going.

Personally, I'd have a hard time sending my kids away for such a long time. But that's just me - I bet my kids would LOVE it!

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answers from Washington DC on

My sister went for a week each summer for 2 or 3 years between 3rd and 5th grades. It was camp - she had fun, she got to meet new kids and do new things. I think many camps don't start taking kids til 8 or 9 so that is why it is a common age to start sending them. We could not afford for both of us to go and she wanted to go more, so she went instead.

I would be sad to send my DD away for 7 weeks. That's practically the whole summer. Do the parents travel? We missed my sks very much when they were gone for most of the summer to their mom's house.

I do think that some of it is just wanting a break, but if DD wants to go to camp, it will only be a few weeks at a time. Right now it is enough that DD is doing day camp and VBS activities.

Man, I feel sorry for the kid. If she's sent off for 7 weeks, I have to wonder what day to day is like.

ETA: I never went to camp. I went to college and lived on campus. I was fine. So no, it's not "required". I even called home less than my roommate.

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answers from Boston on

My gut reaction is that I wouldn't send my kids that young, but it's not something I've really considered given that financially, it's not an option. Sleepaway camp is very, very expensive. That said, my oldest two are 15 and they have many friends who have been going to sleepaway camp since they were 10. One friend has gone to an ecumenical, international camp in Canada for many years - what an amazing experience, to spend several weeks a summer with Jewish, Christian and Muslim kids from around the world! Other kids I know have gone to sports camps, music camps, science camps, religious camps (Jewish sleepaway camps are very popular here for kids going through Bar/Bat Mitzvah prep), and just general unplug-and-get-outside camps and most have really enjoyed them. It's not an option that we can afford, but I can see why people do it. I do think that 7 weeks for a 9 year old who isn't chomping at the bit to go is a bit much, and wouldn't work for me, but people send their kids to boarding school at ages younger than that each his or her own!

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answers from Dallas on

I was about 8 or 9 when I first went to camp and I LOVED it. I was never gone more than 2 weeks straight though.

My daughter did 1 week camps at 9 and 10 and enjoyed every minute of them.

I guess it depends on the family. I certainly did not send my daughter to camp so I could have a break... She wanted to go from the start because other friends were going as well and she wanted in on the fun.

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answers from New York on

We had friends who went to sleep away summer camp all summer, 7 weeks in total from age 7-15. They still had 2 weeks with their parents on either end. Single parents, dual working households, and those who have fond memories of camp, or hope camp might be enriching.

I went for no more than 1 month at a time. I wish my parents could have afforded more.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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answers from Austin on

Some people grew up going to sleep-away camp for weeks at a time... that is just their family tradition. At one point, it was common for the wealthier families to send their kids to boarding school!

I know when I was in girl scouts, camp was for 2 weeks! I had a ball doing that.. I don't remember how young I was, but probably not that young.

My kids went to girl scout camp as Brownies, but that was with their troop and troop leader. When they reached the next level (Juniors), they went on their own.

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answers from San Francisco on

Seven weeks is really a very long time for an 8 year old. I just wonder if it's not one of those "keep up with the Jones'" things where a couple of kids went and that set the pace for the rest to feel like they had to follow along. I also wonder if the 8 year old told her parents she WANTED to go and then when the time came, got cold feet. If that were the case, then I understand making her go - you spent the money, the kid goes.

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answers from Grand Forks on

I value independence in my kids, and I have been fostering it since the beginning. While 7 weeks of camp does sound to be a bit much, I certainly think the average 7 year old should be independent enough to spend at least a week away from home, if the parent has been fostering independence all along. My kids started going for sleepovers and camping weekends with friends when they were about 5 and worked their way up to week long sleep away camp at 7. We didn't just decide that the first little bit of independence would be 7 weeks away from home. I myself started going to one week sleep away camp at the age of 8. When I was 13 I started going for 3 weeks, and at 15 I started going for 6 weeks. I loved camp. I had a stay-at-home mom, went on lots of trips and did lots of activities with my family, but I also loved camp and chose to go each summer. Camp is not economical. It would cost a fortune to send a kid to camp for 7 weeks! The average camp around here is about $400 a week! The camp my kids will be attending has rock climbing, zip lining, high ropes course, canoeing, kayaking, sailing, hiking, swimming, crafts, sports and so much more!

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answers from Houston on

S.H., I agree. I think the moms read to see who posts and then decide how to answer.

You did not need to clarify or dumbdown the 'educated' reference. I think most of us got the reference...

As for me. I went to my first sleepaway camp the summer of my senior year--Cheer Camp.

I sent my son to his first sleepaway when he was about 11. Football Camp.

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answers from New York on

I am too over-protective so that is too young........and on second thought my kids will never go to sleep away camp......the way society is going, I don't trust my kids with anyone on over-night stays..........I won't judge those that choose to send there kids away.........won't be me ;)

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answers from Miami on

I wouldn't do it at 7, 8 or 9 years of age... Possibly 10 or 11 for ONE week. NEVER for 7 weeks!

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answers from Orlando on

my daughter is almost 11 - and this is her first year.......... she's going for 4 nights. also she is going with 3 girls from her girlscout troop. she is soooooooooooo excited. i am sooooooooo nervous (lol) -- one of the girls she is going with , this is her 3rd year going ... so looks like her first year she was 8. i agree it's too young, but to each his own! :-)

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answers from Miami on

Ouch! Seven weeks away for a third grader? Wow. That smacks of a mom who is tired of her daughter.

Maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree, but I can't imagine this.

My kids went to stay away camp when they were in their young teens. I started out with ONE week, called "starter camp". The next summer it graduated to two week camp.

Then my sons qualified for Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth summer experience where they took one academic course. It lasted for 3 weeks. By that time, they were at the end of middle school. There were a lot of fun activities along with the class, and they really loved their 3 summers doing this - even more than summer camp, to be honest. My older son is now a counselor for this type of program.

I do think that sleep away camp is great for kids in order to teach independence and help kids see what having roommates is like. In college, they need to be able to deal with this kind of thing. However, 2nd or 3rd grade? One week, yes. More than that? No. Goodness, not 7...

I guess I could add this for you, after reading your SWH. I went to a week away camp when I was 7. I enjoyed it, but I lost half of my stuff. My mom didn't send me again until I was 12. And then I had 3 week long Bible camps at 13, 14 and 15 which I think actually helped prepare me for college. We were in dorm rooms with about 10 girls.

I'm not a quiet or shy person, and maybe that's why I liked camp at 7. You know your child's personality. I DO think that a shy child should go to camp when they're older so that they aren't absolutely shocked when going off to college, though...

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answers from Cleveland on

I have this cute hallmark special idea in my head that my kids would like sleep away camp too, arts and crafts, archery, horseback riding, camp skits, eating in the mess hall, hiking, etc. but I can't see that at this age.

my dd is 8 and i was considering a gs overnight with mom thing at camp but it is conflicting with her friends bday party and at this age the party was more important to her.

As for independance, i actually would expect camp to be pretty structured and so there really wouldn't be alot of making choices and being responsible etc. it's just coming from peer pressure more than mom, maybe, to make your bunk or what ever. I'm not sure what i mean.

My guess is that one or two parents did it because they could and now others are doing it to keep up with the joneses.
although if there are youonger siblings i might see the appeal. but 7 weeks :( thats sad.

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answers from Toledo on

I went to GS Camp for one week when I was 12, and I got really homesick. Guess I'm just a late bloomer :-)

I'm with you. I cannot fathom sending my boys at such a young age, even for 2 nights!

People are different. My SIL offered to take our then 2 1/2 year old for 2 weeks when his baby brother was born. I had watched her kids a few times for as long as a week, but they are older. We had never spend 1 night away from him. (Well, each of us had, but never at the same time.) My MIL thought that we were questioning her daughter's judgement. She said, what if my husband had a job change and he and I had to leave the kids for a couple of weeks to get the house ready (or something along those lines). I thought, well, if we really had not choice, then we would deal with it. But since we did have a choice, we decided that we just weren't ready to leave him overnight with anyone (not even my parents, who watched him on a regular basis). He's now almost 7 and has been on a few sleepovers with family. Still not ready for him to leave us for more than 1 night.

Anyway, people are different.

ETA - Bug, I think she meant she is happy to be educated by anyone who has a different opinion and/or viewpoint. Not she is more educated than a parent who is in favor of sleepaway camp.

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answers from Hartford on

I went to the same resident camp from the time I was 8 until 21, I was a camper, CIT, and Staff. Resident camp is a great experience for every child but each child will be ready at a different age. It also has alot to do on how the parents explain camp to the kids. If they make it a positive, fun, adventure 9 out of 10 times the kids are good to go. Of course kids will get homesick but if you discuss it with your kids before they go most of them do fine. Our son is 7 and going for a week this summer for the first time. I think once he realized that it is like day camp which he loves, he was sold. I am not sure if I would send my son to resident camp for longer than one week increments at 7, but that is based on our family and my son. Each family needs to make a decision for themselves. Next year we are considering doing two weeks but one in July and one in August. Some of my best friends, memories, and work experience where at summer camp.

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answers from New York on

I can't remember how old my daughter was went she went to overnight camp for a week... I think it was arround age 9. She loved it so much, she went again later the same summer, and then to a 2 week camp the following summer. It's a great experience for most kids, and yes, it teaches them independence, and lots of other life skills. These were only part of the decission in sending her. We needed a day care option (of course day camp was our main choice), we wanted her to experience something new. It was something she wanted to do.

However, it's not for everyone. My youngest daughter went to day camp and wanted nothing to do with a week long overnight camp. She loves it for a weekend, but after 3 days she's ready to come home.

Just some observations and opinions....
Age 7 seems too young for a long time away from home, but it depends on the child
Yes, many parents are looking to "take a break from kids", but I don't think that's the main reason
City, country, suburbs, doesn't seem to matter, kids from all over attend camps
I personally, don't agree with sending a young child (13 and under) away for 7 weeks without seeing them in between. It's been my experience that many camps have 2 week sessions, where they go home for a weekend inbetween sessions.

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answers from Detroit on

I think camp would appeal to financially secure people. Otherwise, it'd be very expensive for someone without a lot of extra money.
We do camps all summer long. They are not overnight, but some are all day. The kids would go crazy at home! I choose to put them in it so we all don't go crazy. And they enjoy it.
I never thought much about overnight camps, I guess. But if a child wanted to go, I would not have a problem with it at any age. They start at 7, if I'm correct, around here.
Camp is GOOD for kids. I feel like without that experience, a child is really missing out. I still remember the SMELL of nature at overnight girl scout camp (10 days), and I loved it. My in-laws went for 7 weeks all summer, back in the day. It was cheaper then.

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