Sleep Troubles

My daughter is 18 months old and we still swaddle her when we put her to sleep! We just do it from the armpits down, with a super huge lightweight flannel blanket that a relative made (we have 4 of them, just large pieces of cloth with the edges stitched, maybe 3ftx3ft or a little less?). She also has a jungle lullabye machine, that has lights and plays music for about 12 minutes. We start it when we put her down, then if she's still awake we hear her restart it herself later on the monitor!

Good luck!

I don't quite recall, but I think we stopped swaddling our son when he became consistently good at turning from his tummy to his back (and I don't recall when that was). I know we started sleep training shortly after he turned four months, because (1) I learned from Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" that a child is not physiologically capable of sleeping through the night until at least four months, and (2) he'd discovered his thumb and so had a way to soothe himself back to sleep if we let him.

When he was still a newborn, I'd rock him to sleep or one of us would hold him while he slept, just to keep him asleep; but once he was able to find his thumb, we started laying him down sleepy but still awake, so that if he woke up in the night, he'd be able to recognize where he was. (I.e., "I remember falling asleep in this place, so I must be okay.") We had an absolutely miserable week, and then he was sleeping 10, 12, 15 hours a night sometimes, plus two naps during the day. He still generally sleeps 12+ hours a night, plus a midday nap, and he's about 18 months.

As for swaddling, we swaddled every time we laid him down to sleep, but he did not sleep well flat on his back. I didn't want to lay him on his tummy for fear of SIDS, so I bought an inexpensive sleep positioner at Wal-mart that looked kinda like this: /\_/\ and it had a Velcro adjustable bottom so you could change the width. I'd make it narrow enough so I could prop my son at an angle on his side, but with his face up, and swaddled, and that helped him sleep much better those earlier months. When he started kicking out of his blanket, but still needed to be swaddled to sleep, I stopped tucking his legs in and just bound his arms, and that actually helped him, too. He did fine with loose feet, but still wanted his arms "hugged". Again, I don't recall when we stopped swaddling, but it was sometime between four and six months, and when we followed Weissbluth's "rapid extinction" method, we had one miserable week, followed by months of heavenly night-long sleep for all of us.

the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley. best baby sleep book EVER!!!!!!!

First, run to the bookstore and buy Baby 411. It has a synopsis of several sleep methods, why they work and why they don't, and gives each a grade (from a pediatrician). We used the Ferber method for both my children and it worked wonders. You are looking at 1,2, maybe even 3 tough nights, bu then you will be sleeping so much better. It's all about giving our children the chance to learn to soothe themselves and teaching ourselves how and when to interfere (or not) in their natural sleep cycles.
BE CAREFUL of using just any sleep program without checking it out with either your pediatrician (or a book like Baby 411) first. Many of them are not appropriate for infants physically and developmentally. A couple are even dangerous that impose very strict scheduling on feedings, etc.

My youngest is 6 mos. and she's a good sleeper. However, like yours, she has trouble relaxing. We gave her a "lovey" - not a blanket or even a blanket rattle (she kept putting this over her face), but a very small stuffed animal without any hard or small parts. I put it inside my shirt for awhile, next to my skin, and then rubbed it around so it had my smell. She loves it. When we lay her down, even if she's fussy, she'll grab him and hold him by her face. It works well to help calm her at bedtimes.

Anyway, good luck!!! i know it's frustrating, but just remember, if he's just fussing in his crib in the middle of the night, wait! Wait 5, then 10, then 15. Eventually, and with a LOT of protest (so do this on a weekend), he will realize that he can put himself to sleep without you.

Best of luck and go get Baby 411. It's the best book and saved my life when I raised my first baby thousands of miles away in Korea and Alaska. We still use it for #2 and it's absolutely essential.
Let us know how you're doing!

Hello A.. I am with you. I have three boys almost the same when it came to sleep habits. With each of them I tried different things, but always ended up doing the same with each. I found that once I started putting them on thier tummey they started sleeping all night When they were a month old. My 6 mth old only woke up at night was when he started rolling over at two months from his belly to his back, he would scream until I went to his room and rolled him back to his belly. I told my husband it was like flipping a pancake. You had to flip him halfway through the night for him to finish his sleep. Sometimes he would do this several times. At three months he learned to role from his back to his belly and the waking up at night stopped.

Something else that my mother did not approve of at first, but she finally came around, once they started spending the night with her. None of my three boys would sleep with clothes on. They would only sleep in their diapers. If I tried getting them to sleep with clothes they would be really restless and if they did fall asleep they would wake up screaming and all sweaty. I would take off thier sleepwear and they would stop crying. I just had to make sure thier room was always warm. My two oldest boys are 10 yrs and 5 yrs and they still will only sleep in thier boxers. They have had me buy them sleepwear because they liked them, but they tried to wear them at night and by morning they will not have them on. Now, they just wear it around the house after they get up or before they go to bed.

I don't know if any of this will work for you and I know that laying on thier tummy is considered "tabo", but it worked for me three times and I would do it again if I had to.

Check out The No-Cry Sleep Solution.

Basically, try to find some approximation to the swaddling that still allows him to move his arms and hands. Try leaving them out of the swaddle. He will probably get used to being able to moving his arms and hands around, and settle down because at least his legs and trunk still feel nice and tight. Usually with developmental milestones, there come sleep disturbances, and it can take a little time or creativity to return to former sleep routine, or to find a new one.

Meanwhile, try slowing your rocking and letting him drift off by himself as you hold him, but not rocking him all the way to sleep. If he starts to rouse, just start rocking at your usual rhythm. As he starts to drift again, start to slow and stop rocking once more. If he wakes, rock some more. After a few tries, he will probably drift off without feeling the rocking motion. You might have to keep at it for several nights. But he is learning, with every step of the process, that he is still safe and loved and ok. Gradually, you can slow and stop rocking earlier and earlier in his shift from wakefulness to sleep. At some point, he will feel comfortable with you taking him from rocking chair/rocking in your arms to being placed in his crib with your arms still around him and mimicking the rocking motion....

Meanwhile, incorporate other soothing techniques as you rock him, so that you can substitute those. Try a lovey, and snuggle it with you two as you help him drift off. Or start a back-rub routine or rubbing his head, or whatever else comes naturally to you. Introducing some soothing music is great, too.

For more tips, get that book! Pantley, the author, describes how to go from this to eventually just laying baby down, giving a few back rubs/whatever and walking away.

Ahhhhhhh :)

L.

This is probably not what you want to hear and definitely not what pediatricians will say, but if you're not already doing so you might want to try putting him on his stomach. I give this suggestion with reservations for obvious reasons. But if he can lift his head and turn it side to side and you put nothing in the crib with him (blanket, stuffed animal) than the risk is extremely small. (Although I did start giving my kids a lovey once they could roll around and they are really attached now) And if he's rolling than you'll probably find him sleeping on his stomach soon anyway. If you are really nervous but if want to give it a try, I suggest trying it for a well supervised nap rather than at night. Than you can see if it works.

Again, I give this advice with obvious reservations. Many people will disagree with me and I totally understand if you completely dismiss this advice. I just wanted to share what worked for me.

Our son went through the same thing. We switched to a very strict bed time routine and after a week we had much fewer problems. He is 2 1/2 now and we still follow the same system. Bath, Bottle/Story time (now its a sippy cup) and Bed. He is in bed every night by 7:30 with the lights out. I also used to put him down with the shirt that I wore that day. I'd turn it inside out and tie up the sleeves. Good luck and remember you will sleep again...eventually.

i'm a new mother myself. and i found a that there are a line of baby things that are for helping baby sleep all you would have to do is give him a bath! look for anything that has (lavender and chamomile). and that should help him to sleep longer!

My daughter did not like being swaddled from the day that she was born. Does your son sleep in a bassinet or a crib. My daughter detested her bassinet because she could not see out into the room. Her crib was beside my bed and I had a small night light between the two beds and when she woke herself up she could look between the bars and see me. I always opened my eyes to make sure that she was ok and most of the time she went back to sleep on her own. Sometimes she needed to be changed and a bottle. I also made sure that her tummy was full before I put her down for the night.
Best Wishes
G.

A. - From day one we've used a pack and play that has a vibration function on it. I also have a 5 month old and I was only able to swaddle her for the first month. She sleeps through the night and maybe once or twice a week she'll wake up for a bottle in the middle of the night. She'll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night but only looking for her pacifier. I pop it back in her mouth, press her vibrate button and she goes right back to bed. She started eating baby food at night so she goes to bed with a full tummy. We also have her slightly elavated. It's really just trial and error and all babies are different. Good luck!!