Sleep Deprived Baby and Mom

Updated on January 03, 2016
S.H. asks from Huntington Beach, CA
29 answers

ok..so i have talked to my ped (who said it is prob just gas) and to my friends and tried SO many different suggestions but so far nothing has worked and I am starting to lose it.My little one is soooo uncomfortable and i need to help her so we can all sleep some and be happy. My 5 week almost 6 week old girl is fussy during the day which I can handle MOST of the time but when we put her down to bed she loses it. She will have a pretty good first stretch of sleep from 8ish to 11ish feed her then around an hour and a half she will wake up with this twising, grunting, pushing sounds, crying (not screaming but uncomfortable crying) like she is trying to poop but nothing happens. She is still half asleep too at this point. But then she starts to really cry so I pick her up and assume it is time to feed, so I breastfeed her and she will fall asleep within 6-8 min on one breast and is out. I put her back to bed and then an hour and a half later, same thing. She will do this then continually every hour and a half for the rest of the night. I don't get it. She doesn't poop but does have wet diapers. She weighs a little over 9 lbs. I am a new mom and again I have tried gripe water, mylecon, elevating her, massaging her belly, doing the bicycle legs etc... but nothing has worked. Am I doomed and just have to wait it out? because she is so like this from the middle of the night, she is either super fussy during the next day and will hardly sleep but little catnaps or...like today, she slept all day and was awake for about a hour and a half all day. I need help and just need to know there are others out there like my little one. MAIN QUESTION- what is up with her nightly twising, grunting, crying thing at night and how can I help her. sorry about the randomness of this question but i am running on fumes and need to be recharged. Thanks and look forward to your help!!

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So What Happened?

thanks for all the great advice everybody. i am trying all the suggestions that i haven't done already. she will be 6 weeks tomorrow and i think she is slowly growing into her own skin and maturing digestively. anyway, i will let you know when i hit the jackpot for the solution. thanks again so much.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I'm going through the exact same thing with my 4 week old. EXACTLY! My baby has poopy diapers but also has gas. I never thought that was the problem. This is my 5th baby and I've kind of had the same problem with all of them. They eventually get to the point where they sleep longer periods and I definately have to stay away from dairy while I'm breastfeeding. I'm so sorry you have to go through this...

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son went through the same thing. A friend let us borrow an ambi bed which is a hammock where he was not laying flat. That seemed to dothe trick. If I put him in his bassinet it was immediate grunting twisting and gentle uncomfort. The Ambi really worked like a charm. Also try letting her sleep in her carseat, the elevation and partial upright sleep might help. I can't tell you how many nights he slept inhis carseat cause he would actually sleep!! Good luck.

K.R.

answers from Champaign on

Hi, I also went through the exact same thing with my son. It is so AWFUL! I was constantly looking for ways to make it better and the only thing was really time. We started with CIO/Sleep training at 6 months and it finally took at 9 months and now he is a great sleeper so there is light at the end of the tunnel. One thing you could try is this new product from Fisher-Price called the "Newborn Rock n' Play Sleeper" (http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Y...) It has really great reviews and seems to be working for a lot of parents. Almost all little babies need to sleep elevated.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

All healthy, normal babies become fussier from the day they were born until they hit "peak fussiness" at 6 weeks (after their gestational 40 week date.) From there, 80% of babies then start to calm down week after week. The other 20% remain at the "peak fussiness" for another 6 weeks. Those are the babies with "colic," in which there is usually little to do but wait it out. I had one with colic -- it was absolutely awful...but we did survive. (I won't forget it, though!)

Of course, all this is assuming that your baby has no health/medical issues, and it sounds like your little girl is doing great. See what happens after your daughter turns 6 weeks, post-gestational 40 weeks. If her screaming persists at the same extreme level, see your Pediatrician. If it's colic, there's not much to do. You may find little things that may help a little (try the DVD "Happiest Baby on the Block.") However, your daughter will just have to outgrow it -- and she will by 12-16 weeks old (if this is the case). Good luck and hang in there!!

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

It sounds like gas. Your pediatrician should be able to give you a prescription for something stronger than what is given at the store.
Just as a consolation, my firstborn had colic. It was 4 months of no sleep, stress and discomfort for the whole family.
This too shall pass!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I think Mom L K nailed it. The Happiest Baby on the Block will give you tips to make this normal, transitional period survivable. Your baby is in her most difficult period right about now.

My daughter was like this for her first 2 1/2 months, then gradually improved. It took exactly 6 months for her to get over her 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. colic, though. I walked, rocked and patted her 4 hours a night for those 6 months because I simply couldn't let her struggle and suffer, though she became a pretty decent sleeper by the end of her 4th month. At six months, the colic simply stopped.

We co-slept for her first year, and I simply nursed her while I was half asleep. I wore her in a backpack much of every day, and she got decent naps that way. Today slings are available that are much easier, cozier, and more comfortable than my old backpack.

Hang in there. I know you don't feel like you can possibly survive this. Looking back on it someday, you'll be amazed how quickly it passed.

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I could have written this exact same thing! My baby is now 9 weeks old (and I have a 2 1/2 yo as well.) My LO is super gassy and fussy during the evening and night time too. I read that the gassiness is at it's worst from 6 -9 weeks and then it improves. Just make sure you really burp her good and also then hold her upright against your chest for a half hour after eating. Start your routine now and let her know the cues that it is time for sleep. Things will get better soon...for both of us! :)

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T.P.

answers from Phoenix on

This sounds like what my son did when he was that age. he would want to feed as you described. And make those sounds.. They call it cluster feeding. The best way to describe it is like a bear eating before he hibernates. Think of it as your baby getting a full belly before they sleep for a long time. But since their tummy's are so small they only stay full for so long.. Try to feed more during the day time to try to eliminate the hungry feeling. If you are breastfeeding, make sure you are drinking lots and lots of water. I was told if your feeling dehydrated so is your baby. And when our bodys are low on water then our tummy doesnt work 100%

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M.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

My second son who is now almost 6mo was the same way, but also had blood in his stool. The doctors thought it was a milk protein allergy. I cut ALL milk and soy out of my diet (they can be hidden in a lot of foods) and supplement with Nutramigen. He no longer seems like he is in pain all of the time. As for sleep deprivation, you may still have to wait for that to get better. My son still rarely sleeps over an hour straight making me feel like I am in a fog all day at work. He has only slept 3 hours in a row a handful of times.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

Maybe she is reacting to something that you are eating. My baby was like this, too until I figured out she was reacting to milk products. I kept a food journal and cut out basically everything except for chicken (plain) rice and apples for a week. Then I slowly added new foods and kept track of everything I ate and how the baby was reacting. It took a while, but once I figured it out and cut out all dairy, she was WAYYY better. Believe me, I missed my Haagen Daaz, but it was not a huge decision: Sleep, or ice cream?!? Some other triggers are: acidic foods (tomatoes, citrus), soy, chocolate (sorry), wheat (gluten), nuts, eggs. Good luck

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

It is probably gas.

One thing we had to do with kiddo was "marathon burping". AKA, he'd burp in the first couple minutes, but then if I kept rocking and patting 15-60 minutes later a HUGE, and I mean ENORMOUS burp would follow.

If we didn't do this he'd be in extreme pain about 90 minutes later, want to eat, wake up or be in pain 90 minutes later, want to eat, rinse repeat, rinse repeat. Like so many things, we figured this out on accident. I was either reading or talking and just kind of forgot that I was still burping him because he was asleep on my shoulder... and then WOWZA. And then he slept for 3 hours straight. Tried it again later, and kablam.... he was in no pain. Tried it yet again at "bedtime" and he slept for 4 hours, nursed (marathon burped for an hour while reading Nero Wolfe and rocking) and he slept for 6 more.

The marathon burping took a lot of time out of my day BUT I got really good at reading one handed, and I actually got to sleep.

No idea if this is what's going on with your kiddo (gas can be caused by so many things) but it's what was up with ours.

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K.K.

answers from Yuma on

she's probably getting scared with her own arms while sleeping. my baby did that the first weeks. he would get scared with his own arms and start crying, i had to rock him back to sleep and he would fall asleep quick then again he would wake up all over again. Luckily he didn't have colic and thats what i thought it was. My mom and grandma told me me to wrap him like a taco so he wouldn't get scared with his arms, i finally bought a swaddle me blanket and i started wrapping him every night and he slept thru the night. he wakes up only to eat but not like he use to before. I would cry with him at night cuz i was so tired and i didn't know what to do anymore. I'm new at this too. Now he's six months and he's learning how to sleep without the blanket, he's doing a good job, wakes up to eat twice at night. but that swaddle me blanket really saved my nights, :).

Maybe she's not getting full enough, its really hard breastfeeding because u dont know if shes had enough or not.

and the twisting, it might be gas it might not, my baby did the same and i would give him mylicon. it didn't calm him much but he was fed and he didn't have problems passing gas... although he was pooping every other day, maybe that was it. everytime i took him to the doc she said everything was looking good.

Good luck and hang in there it will get better just pay attention to her gas and how many times she poops.

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried co-sleeping? It's true that newborns go through all kinds of random gasses and sleep patterns- remember their intestines are pretty much working for the first time and its a tough transition, but if you're breast-feeding anyway, you may want to consider co-sleeping. I did it with both my boys and LOVED it, and slept every night! For one, if she does fuss, you don't have to "get up" to feed her, you just start nursing, keeping her propped on her side a little with a receiving blanket or something, and voila! you are both sleeping in no time. You will NOT roll on top of her! In fact, you'll hear any noise and sleep better knowing you can see your little one in an instant. I was always scared of sids or if they stopped breathing I wouldn't know in time since I couldn't see them in a bassinet. And it makes babies feel very secure with the scent of mom close to them. I co-slept with both boys for 8 months each and had an amazing experience that my husband and I miss to this day. There's even been research on this, check it out a little. If you can get a 4 hour stretch (at least) you'll both be MUCH happier! We never had a single problem or incident and sincerely cherished every moment- when they awoke after a long nights rest, they'd smile and we melted! After 8 months, they needed their own space and off to the crib they went. It was no big deal. But I still miss them! We had a great experience. I highly recommend you try it out! Good luck :-)

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

Thats gas alright. At this point she really should be pooping every day, something has constipated her it sounds like...when was the last time that she did? At that age my daughter pooped constantly...4 times a day maybe? And then about 5 wet diapers. That was normal for her. Try cutting dairy out of your diet and see if that helps. You should probably call your Ped if its been more than 4 days since she pooped. Good luck!!

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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Make sure you are eating a healthy, well-rounded diet. Sometimes very young babies are just gassy. I would not go for any prescriptions for a baby, especially at such a young age.

Exclusively breastfed babies poop less. Sometimes once every 3 days. Breastmilk is a "complete" food so there isn't a lot of "waste."

My daughter has never been much of a sleeper - but when she was tiny, we discovered that the reason why she screamed so much was because she just wanted to be close to me all the time. That helped a bunch.

Congratulations and good luck!

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K.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

could your LO have reflux? Do an internet search on the symptoms and see if they sound familiar. If so, it is VERY important that she's treated for it.

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A.W.

answers from San Diego on

I had the same issue with my son. Get a HappiTummi http://www.amazon.com/shops/A32NW6IGND09S7

It is an amazing product for natural, herbal relief of colic, gas, constipation, etc! Also you may want to do an elimination diet: stop eating dairy, soy, and wheat for 3 weeks or more and see if that helps. After a while you can start to add one thing at a time back in- and watch for her reaction. If she gets gassy again- you know that was the thing causing it!
Good luck!

A.

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T.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Congratulations Mommy on your little girl! Welcome to the land of sleepless nights....for whatever the reason may be at any given tme. :) It does sound like gas, I don't have much more advice than any of the other moms, but with the gas drops you can give them to her pretty frequently (I used Little Tummies - cheaper than mylocon). You might also try putting her in a bouncy seat that vibrates or her swing to see if that might help her sleep a little better. My ped told me that breast fed babies will wake more frequently to eat (1-2 hours sometimes!) because they digest it so fast. In addition, breast fed babies don't burp all that much. But if you feel like she should probably burp, try laying her across your lap on her belly and pat her bak or bounce her gently. And as for her BM's.....it is very common for breast fed babies to only have a BM once a week. My ped's rule of thumb is not to panic until it has been 7-8 days. Check with yours just so you know. Hang in there, because as you will soon learn, this too shall pass and you will look back and say "dang, we survived!"......now on to the next phase. Hugs to you!

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J.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Like all the other mommies who've responded, I feel for you! Two of my three children were colicky and it was torture. The thing that seemed to work with both of them was constant motion and sound. My pediatrician gave me some great insight when I visited him with my second colicky baby.
He read some journal articles postulating that for some unknown reason, babies really should be in the womb for 12 weeks longer so that their internal organs can develop. This is why you always hear that babies outgrow their colicky stage after 12 weeks. This is also why you hear advice to simulate the 'womb' environment for the colicky baby----swaddling (tight), sounds (white noise), shooshing, swaying, swinging, etc. He was explaining to me that it is pretty loud in the womb for the baby...heart beat, blood circulating, mom talking, etc. The baby is also still used to lots of movement from mom.
My ped also gave me an article about how some cultures tightly swaddle their baby (blanket with a belt, something heavy to soothe your tummy). Again, the baby is nice and snug in the womb to the point they're cramped up. Even as kids or adults, when you have a tummy ache, your instinct is to hold your tummy...not strecth out on your back to sleep (that goes against what you know to make your tummy feel better)....and when nothing works, just let your baby cry it out so you can take a break (notice I didn't say get some sleep b/c you know you can't sleep when your precious little baby is crying in the next room). I also did try mylicon, gripe water, etc.
At night, I started a ritual where I would give baby a bath using lavender scented baby with with lavendar lotion to calm her down. I used this as a routine so she'd start to think this was part of her schedule. During the day, my mom purchased me some chamomile oil. I would rub that on my babies' bellies and wrap a bandana around their tummies- so that there is more pressure on their tummies--don't know if this worked, but I tried everything. I got really frustrated when I finally got baby to sleep, would put them down on their backs, then five seconds later, they'd jerk themselves awake----UGH!!! My mother-in law taught me a trick- when you put them down once they're asleep, steadily put them down and keep your hand on their belly for 10 seconds (that way they can ease into their new position and still feel the warmth of your hand).---that made a difference for me.

At this point in time, one day feels like a marathon for you---hang in there. Trust me, one of these days you'll look back, remember the heck you went through and will be giving similar advice to a new mother =)
Don't forget to savor even these moments- it's what being a mom is all about.--sorry so long--- your question just brought back cute memories of my kids when they were babies.

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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

Have you tried cutting out dairy and/or soy from your diet? Turned out my son had similar issues and he is intollerant (not allergic) to the protein in cow's milk AND soy. I stopped all dairy products and he was fine in a few days. My sister-in-law did the same for her third baby and it cleared up his gassy discomfort too. Cutting out dairy can be really hard but totally worth it. Unless you have nut allergies I would suggest Almond milk for general milk substitute. The chocolate almond milk is yummy too! There are websites for food allergies that can help identify good substitute for everyday foods. www.kidswithfoodallergies.org is a good one. Some kids outgrow this but mine hasn't yet and he's six!

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

HI S.,
Our little guy did the same thing at around 4-7 weeks and we found Colic Calm. It took about 20 minutes for it to take effect, but when it did, we ALL got some well needed rest. You can order it on-line at quite a few different places and it's an all natural product. You can also use this product when your baby is teething. It costs about $10 a bottle, but is well worth it!!!

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M.T.

answers from Dallas on

That's rough, so sorry you are going through this. Of course you should ask your doctor first but you could try cutting dairy from your diet and adding a probiotic to hers. Nothing will be an overnight cure, but if you keep doing what you are doing with the massage, bicycle legs etc. and adding those things to it you might see a change for the better. Worth a shot.
Good luck, I hope you get some relief soon--for the both of you!

T.R.

answers from Green Bay on

I am a mother too and my baby is 7 weeks old and I'm glad I'm not the only one out there who is going through the same exact thing.I hear its just gas. I've tried everything you have listed plus a really warm bath, it helps for a few hours but then when he wakes up he does the twist thing and back bends.. he's always kicking his legs and just seems so uncomfortable just like your little one. I use Mylicon and it works for a little bit but nothing that lasts.. Hope you can get some advice, then maybe we all can get some rest! Just wanted to let you know your not alone.... very IDENTICAL nights, and moods with the little one.
Oh- one more thing.. I talked to my PED about the babies BM'S and it is totally normal if the baby doesnt have a BM every day if your breast feeding. one dirty diaper every few days is normal. I was totally getting OBSESSED with my baby not having a daily BM. -- so I'm sure this also has some to do with how uncomfortable they are.
I tried a TSPN of Sugar with 4oz of warm water and this helped with the BM at 1st but nothing to make him regular.
Ped said that the baby could be using up all of the breastmilk and may not need to have a BM everyday and the babies little intestense is the last to develop and there still learning how to use there bodies. just another tip I thought I could pass on.

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S.F.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I feel for you. We had two very colicky boys and many things that other people said would work didn't work for us. But- the one that did- was the BALL. Get an exercise ball, sit on it while holding baby swaddled and head higher than the rest of her body- and bounce up and down. This seemed to move things through our little guy's system, and if there was gas that moved out as well. If you think your little one might have GERD, check out some of my older posts, as I have written detailed notes to other moms as to what we did to help with that while their little bodies' development caught up.
Best of luck.

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E.2.

answers from Providence on

My son was very fussy and won't sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time. Our ped diagnosed it colic and advised us baby magic tea. The tea was a charm to my boy and is now sleeping for more than 4 hours in a nap.

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C.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

You could look at your diet and see if there are any foods you are eating that might make her gassy... try eliminating one food at a time so you can know what is causing her discomfort.
I would also suggest keeping her awake for a FULL FEEDING when she wakes you up in the middle of the night. Stroke her cheek, wiggle her, whatever it takes to get her to eat until she is full instead of stopping when she falls asleep... I used to have to take mine out of their clothes and blankets to get them to stay awake for a full night time feeding. You need to get a full feeding to maximize the amount of rest between feedings. Make sure you are burping well too. Also try and put her down for a 'nap' in the daytime as soon as you see any yawning, eye rubbing or other signs of tiredness. At that age, they really only stay awake for feeding plus maybe 15 or 20 minutes before wanting to nap. If she is over-tired it will be harder to get her to take a GOOD nap of about 1.5 hours -3 hours. I used the book BABYWISE to some degree (eat, play, sleep cycle) and was successful in getting 6 hour or longer stretches at about 8-9 weeks. Hang in there!

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L.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

First off I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. I know how you feel, my daughter went through the same thing and it's so hard because you just want them to feel better. Don't worry, this will pass, like everythng else. Hang in there!

Is the crying "colicky"? If she cries when you lay her down but is okay sitting up, it could be something like acid reflux. My daughter had that and luckily it wasn't severe and she was given axid twice a day and was fine almost immediately. Do some research on acid reflux and GERD and see if you see any similarities in symptoms. She might also be sensetive to something you've eaten that's affecting your breastmilk. Do you notice it happens more after you have eaten certain foods or at certain times of day? My daughter was a terrible napper because laying down (we found out later) was painful for her. Once we realized it was acid reflux she was a whole new baby. Good luck, don't worry she will outgrow this and you will figure out how to fix it!

M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi! So sorry to hear of your difficulties and your baby's discomfort. I had a colicky baby too -- and it was h--l. Some moms have found that changing their diet helps: cutting out dairy (and supplementing their calcium), wheat, chocolate, strawberries,cabbage, broccoli, beans (legumes). In an infant massage class, I learned another thing that might help, which is to decrease the amount of stimulation: lower the lights, the number of visitors, amount of sound, etc. (during the day and night). I know an absolutely wonderful Certified infant massage instructor in Orange County, if you are interested. Let me know if you want her contact information.

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

How does she sleep? Is she swaddled or in a sleep sack or just "free range". A baby is used to the confines of the womb and too much space is too much for them to handle. With my oldest, it wasn't until we swaddled, got a sleep posiitoner and put him near the egde of the crib touching the side that we could get any amount of sleep at all that wasn't in the rocking chair holding him. We thought the squirming was gas etc but it was too much space for his poor brain to process. My other 2 weren't quite as sensiteve but we did a lot of the same things with them, the only difference was we didn't need to swaddle just put a blanket over them and tuck it under the sleep positioner they were sleeping on. I hope you find a solution. But, keep in mind, a breastfed child won't sleep more than a couple hours between feeds. Their stomaches are only the size of their fists and breastmilk is quickly digested. DO NOT try any of those sleep training methods that force a baby to go any longer, it is bad for the baby, they don't get the nutrition they need and will quickly "fail to thrive" which leads you down a horrible road you do not want to go down.

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