Sleep and 1 Year Old

Updated on March 01, 2010
S.C. asks from Hersey, MI
9 answers

I will try to make this as short as as possible...
My son is just over 12 months old, he does not sleep all night (by this, I know people have sleep patterns and all, and wake and sleep various times at night, but what I mean is, I don't put him to bed then happily get him up in the morning light) he never has. He has slept in my bed up until tuesday night. And I was fine with that except I thought when I moved at night it woke him up. So about a month ago I started thinking about putting him in his own bed...
Well, then he started rolling, and rolling in the middle of the night. He hasn't fallen out, only b/c I lacked good deep sleep to make sure of such. I decided then and there the crib would be good b/c he can roll and not fall off, and maybe start sleeping through the night, kinda my little bump to get going on this.
Well, like I said, Tuesday was the day. This is where I have been sleeping most of the time, in my boys' room on the floor on a line of pillows next to the crib b/c "sleepy me" would bring the babe back to bed and all would be lost. My husband works most nights, but the 2 nights he was off since then, we have taken turns.
Now, my wee boy wakes up almost every 2 hours after midnight. He goes to bed about 8 every night, sleeps until somewhere between 10:30 and 12:30 then is up, like I said every 2 hours. He nurses like he is hungry everytime he wakes up, which he hardly nurses during the day anymore...
He takes 2 naps a day, about 1-2 hours long, one morning and one afternoon regularly.
Our bedtime routine isn't that elaborite, I have 4 children, my oldest being 7 1/2, next one is 6, then 4. My babe doesn't really sit still for a book that would interest my older kids, and they get bored w/ simple books, and he won't sit still for those either. (he surprised me tonight and sat relativaly sitll for him through 2 stories). He usually falls asleep on me while my older kids and I listen to "Adventures in Odyssey" at 8. Our routine then consits of brush teeth, bath every 2-3 days (I know lots of books reccomend every day as part of the routine, but then they alllll would want one, and my husband works 1/2 the time, and I am rather exhasted at the end of the night), then clean diaper, pj's, paci (he only gets that when it is sleepy time or he is very very cranky or in his carseat, so he assosiates it pretty much w/ going to sleep, it is our "signal" it is time to go to sleep).
Basically, phew, I apologize for writing so much, what I am asking for is how do I get my little one to put himself back to sleep so I can go back to my REAL bed?

Thanks for patience reading this, and for any advice
Also, I don't believe in cry it out, plus he shares the room w/ his 2 brothers and they need sleep too!

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R.A.

answers from Detroit on

IHi there, I know the feeling! Here are some things I did. 1.change the feedings to water. My son quit wanting fed when he found out he was only gonna get water. 2. make the paci ONLY for bed. Then he will be excited for bed because he gets his beloved paci.3. Try to get the two naps condensed to one in early afternoon, that worked like a charm for me. 4. Try not to let him fall asleep on you, ever. I made that mistake and it took months to break that habit. If he goes to bed awake, he will learn that bed isnt scarey and that he can fall asleep on his own. Good luck

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

Sounds like you missed an important lesson: do not let your baby sleep with you. From the start they should be in their own crib. Now you need to adjust both the baby and yourself to discipline. This means that the process means you endure whatever it takes to adjust his sleeping pattern and sleeping in a crib away from you. If you don't break this now, it'll be harder to break later. Sometimes crying it out is necessary. Put the crib in your room if necessary, but don't let him sleep with you.

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

A lot of babes don't sleep through the night until toddlerhood - or beyond. You can reduce the amount of daytime sleep (I'd try to drop the morning nap), put him to bed later and then just nurse him when he's hungry as you've been doing. If hubby can settle him without nursing a time or two, fine, but it sounds like he's growing right now and needs either the nourishment or lots of cuddling/reassurance or both. Good for you for breastfeeding and for meeting his needs so beautifully! One day you will look back, and this season won't seem so long. there are a lot more babes up during the night than you realize. Just try to keep it very low-key so as not to wake either of you up more than necessary and keep verbalizing that it's night-night time, dark outside etc. He's still very young to be expected to meet his own needs during the night. Hang in there, Mama!

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A.M.

answers from Detroit on

Sounds like you've done a great job with co-sleeping and no cry it out sleeping....but I'm sure he's missing you! We did co-sleeping with both our boys, and then when we all felt ready, moved them into their own room together. They sleep side by side (or lots of time all tangled together or holding hands -- very sweet) on a queen size futon mattress on a very low futon frame. They are 6 and 3 now...but even if they fell out of bed, it's only about 8-8 inches to the floor. Our bed-time routine sounds very similar to yours, and then their Dad or I spend about 5-10 minutes with them after lights out. The boys love sharing a bed, and sleep well. We still have nights where we get called in there in the middle of the night for a quick snuggle to get one of them back to sleep, but not that often. When they get a bit older, they are looking forward to bunk beds, but for now, they really do love sleeping next to each other. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Saginaw on

I'm in the middle of trying this (http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp) out with my son. He's 16 months old and still waking up often at night. He's been in his crib for a while, but sometimes I'm too tired at night and just bring him back to bed with me so I can get some rest. It seems to be working so far, but I can't tell you for sure how it will work out for us. I found the article a couple of weeks ago, but then the day I was going to start it, he slept through the night, and did it for the whole week. Then he started waking up a lot again. So, we're getting there. Tonight will be the first night I go in without picking him up. He's going to be angry, but we'll get through it.

The article recommends you try this with the baby still in the bed, and I'm sure that's easier, but we're doing it with him in the crib. There's just not room in the bed, I'm sore and not well rested from being too aware of him while I sleep, and I think he wakes up more to nurse because he can. Like the author says, if you could get up and have your favorite drink fed to you by your favorite person whenever you want, you probably would too. Good luck, I hope you get some rest soon. You're not alone though!

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S.M.

answers from Detroit on

Have you considered taking one side rail off of your son's crib and attaching his crib (by tying it etc.) to your bed? That way, he still has a separate sleep surface, but everyone gets more sleep. When he wants to nurse you can draw him in with you. When asleep, put him in his crib. The separate sleep surface might actually help him sleep better too. It's got to be better than sleeping on the floor with a bed of pillows. Many moms find this is a great alternative. Hope it helps and that everyone gets a good night's sleep tonight. S.

M.S.

answers from Columbus on

Are you giving him dinner or a snack before bed? I try to make sure my 11 month old is going to bed on a full tummy. If dinner is early, then I give her some "sticking" kinds of foods, like oatmeal. as a snack before bed.

I'm trying to imagine you trying to get the baby back to sleep in a room with the other kids. We did let our kids cry it out, but not before they were at least 9 months old. My baby, we didn't have to because I could put her in her crib awake and she'd put herself to sleep. If you do what the previous post mentioned, you will still have the issue with the other kids in there. Can they camp out in your room with dad, while you spend a night or two getting baby to sleep in his own crib? Can they camp out in another sibling's room? Or in the living room?
Does your baby nurse to sleep for naps? My older kids would always fall asleep nursing, so I would then lay them in their cribs to sleep for naps/nighttime. My baby didn't always fall asleep to nurse, but still had to nap, so I would lay in my bed with her for her to sleep. She would fight naps, so instead of putting her in the crib and walking away, I laid on the bed with her and let her cry with my right next to her. She would eventually fall asleep - because it was absolutely nap time and she fought it something horrible. I didn't feel like I was abandoning her with the traditional CIO method, cuz I was right there. Now, with a 1 year old, that probably isn't an option, because he will climb on you and off the bed. How about putting him to sleep in his crib for a nap, awake. You could lay on the floor next to the crib, so he knows you are there, but it's naptime, so he needs to stay in his crib until he falls asleep. You are there, so there's not the abandonment issue. He's fed and tired, so you know he needs the sleep. Maybe working on teaching him to put himself to sleep during the day at naptime will work better. There aren't other kids in the room and your baby will still learn to soothe himself with you there. Just a thought. I did this with my baby when she was about 3-4 months old, before she was mobile. It worked great and I wish I had done it with my older kids. It's really hard to teach a baby to put themselves to sleep without some crying involved. It's a great thing, once it happens, though!! Believe me, I understand not wanting to hear your baby cry and not go to him. Hopefully, if he can put himself to sleep without nursing or getting a bottle, the nighttime wakings will cease. I wish you luck!!!

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L.S.

answers from New London on

This was me at 10 and half months. You need to sleep train him. That means ... do not put him back in your bed. Go in and sing to him, rub his back, etc. until he falls back to sleep. You can pick him up for about 30 seconds to a minute until he stops screaming and put him back and rub his back etc. until he stops crying and falls back to sleep. You may have to do this all night, but he has to realize that this is his bed and mommy isn't going to take him to her bed. You will probably also have to stay in your room. My son always new when I was in the room and would wake up and cry until I got him. It was like he sensed I was there. This may take a few nights but believe me it will be so worth it in the end. Do you feed him in the night, he is getting used to the comfort. You can give him a bottle of water or something. There is no reason to feed him in the middle of the night, he is one and needs to start eating during the day. You are creating a bad habit and one that isn't good for anyone and it can be broken. I thought my son was the worst sleeper, waking every 2 to 3 hours during the night. Until I moved him into his own crib. He was in his own crib and really loved his crib. It was cozy and he felt safe, but the first week was difficult and will probably be for you. If you have any questions, please let me know. It will happen. My son started sleeping 12 to 13 hours straight. Once he new that he could fall back to sleep on his own. Good luck.

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B.T.

answers from Detroit on

I am going to come at this from a former-nanny perspective. Watch Supernanny, She has a WONDERFUL METHOD! You put your child in their crib, and you sit next to the bed on the floor, and every night, you move closer and closer to the door. You let your child know your there(security), and yes they are going to cry, but your there. You have to be persistent with this. Honestly, it was hard to break my nanny charge of this but it was the best decision I could have made. within 2 weeks, she was sleeping peacefully at night.

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