Sleep - Salt Lake City,UT

Updated on July 22, 2011
K.B. asks from Salt Lake City, UT
9 answers

I have two questions really. My daughter won't stay in bed after we read stories for bedtime. She comes out about 6 times and it's getting old. Any tricks? She has also started waking up at least once a night for no reason. I lay by her until she falls asleep. How do I get her to sleep through the night again? I'm seriously considering locking her door at night. I just want a full nights sleep again? Any advice would be appreciated. Oh she is almost three if that helps.

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T.O.

answers from San Francisco on

maybe give her a little flashlight & she can keep it with her (in bed) but if she gets out of bed it gets taken away... My mom did this for my brother and he loved it

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

It's really quite normal for children to have trouble staying in their room alone before falling asleep and waking in the night at this age. Both my daughters (ages 6 and 4 now) have had this problem. It's better most nights now, and they usually fall asleep without coming out of the room more than twice and they usually sleep all night now. But sometimes they do wake with bad dreams even now. Especially if they've had a long tiring day or if they've watched a movie that frightened them. We usually put them back to bed in their own bed, mainly because there isn't room in ours for both of them and both of us.

My only advice is to hang in there. It gets better, but it takes time. And patience. When mine where 2-3 yrs old, they couldn't verbalize that they had a bad dream but now I realize that they did because when they say it now, there's a different emotion coming from them than if they just wake to pee or wake thinking it's morning (5 or 6 am and they don't normally get up until 8). The best thing you can do is reassure your daughter if it's the middle of the night and ignore her after 2-3 excuses after the "bedtime routine," whatever yours is. Try repeating, "It's time for bed," and ushering her back to bed and then moving to just repeating, "it's time for bed," like a broken record. Eventually she'll give up and just go. Try to stay calm (although I wasn't always good at it and still get mad and yell a little even now, I admit) and stay consistent. Good luck.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Tis' the age.
Tis' the phase.
It will pass.

try, putting a spot for her on the FLOOR, of your room.
She can go there. And lay there. Thus, you are not having to lay NEXT to her.
Kids this age, have nightmares... it is developmental from this age onward.
They wake because of it.
My son did and does.
Nightmares and dreaming are involuntary....

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

My oldest is about to be 5 and has never slept through the night. In fact, she just a week ago started falling asleep withOUT my husband or I cuddling her (yay!). I'm not saying this is 'normal', but your daughter is still so young that I wouldn't be resorting to locking her in her room *just* yet.

One thing that is working for us is a marble jar. At the beginning of the bedtime routine, give your daughter 5 marbles in a jar. Every time she gets out of bed you take a marble out. The goal is to fill the jar and then she gets a reward. Be sure to REALLY explain this to her; because she's so little it may take a few nights for her to 'get it'....but it's been working for my 3 year old and my almost-5 year old.

As for her waking up at night, is she night-time potty trained? Could she be needing to pee and that's why she's waking up?

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A.C.

answers from New York on

I agree with a lot of the others that it is a phase, but I was also annoyed by it because I was often trying to get stuff done once the kids go to bed. I used a sticker chart - if you stay in your bed all night you get a sticker, once you get so many you get a small something, whatever you are comfortable with and will motivate your daughter. Good luck.

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

It is so common for kids at that age to need to be "parented to sleep" (as the Sears doctors call it). She might need you to stay with her until she falls asleep. With our oldest son we usually rocked him to sleep. When he was around 2 years old we began to sit with him until he fell asleep. At about 2 1/2 we began to transition him into falling asleep on his own. We started out by sitting with him for a few minutes, they we'd make up an excuse to leave the room: "I need to put the clothes in the dryer and then I'll come right back," "I'm going to load the dishwasher and come right back.," "I need to go to the bathroom and the I'll be right back." We always came back. Gradually we increased the time we were away from him, but we always came back. Eventually he began falling asleep before we came back. (We're about to start this pattern all over again with our youngest, who's 28 months old.)

Right now, she's probably needing reassurance. Nighttime is when they have time to think, and the imagination of a child that age is very active. It's a time when their fears can be foremost in their minds. She might really need you to be there to comfort her and reassure her as she falls asleep. If you are there for her now, you will teach her that she can depend on you and she'll begin to feel safe even without you there.

As far as the middle of the night wakings, we just allow our nightly visitors to climb into bed with us. We've found that even though they move and kick us, we still get more sleep than if we have to get out of bed and return them to bed or sit with them while they fall asleep. Sometimes they just need Mommy and/or Daddy in order to feel safe.

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

It seems to be a stage they go through around this age. My daughter (just turned 3) is doing the same thing. We just tell her "It is after bedtime. You have been tucked in, you have gone potty, and now you are done for the day. Go back to your room and lay down and go to sleep. If you come out again we will close your door." (She hates to have her door closed so this is an appropriate threat.) We don't do this if she is over-tired because we are late going to bed -- that requires a whole different strategy.
Also, don't lay by her until she goes to sleep. Lay with her for a couple of minutes then make up a chore that you have to go do and ask her to lay quietly by herself until she falls asleep. Teaching her to fall asleep on her own will be one of the best skills you can give her for her life. When my kids tell me they can't fall asleep, I say to them "Quiet hands and quiet feet, close your eyes and go to sleep." to remind them that they need to be laying still with their eyes closed to have a better chance of falling asleep.
Good luck to you, this is one of the hardest things because you just want "you" time after they are supposed to be in their beds sleeping.

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K.K.

answers from Denver on

Is she still napping? My kids started doing this when they were ready to transition out of their naps. I held onto them for a while and dealt with the bedtime issues because I still felt like they needed naps some days, but I finally got fed up and went to quiet time instead of nap time and they had no problem falling asleep at night once we dropped their nap. However, they do still wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and usually want reassurance. We have started using a reward chart and that has helped. Good luck!! It can be so frustrating!

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N.F.

answers from Seattle on

http://www.amazon.com/Cloud-Twilight-Constellation-Night-...

Gift from Grandma... LIFESAVER!!! My son sleeps with it right next to him. we just lay him in bed with his snuggle and Sea Turtle, give kisses and walk out of the room. He loves changing the lights from green to blue to both to off and also lighting up the little pictures around the bottom of the shell. He thinks he's getting some extra "play time" but he falls asleep after 5 minutes :) It is really cute too. They sell a ladybug at Babies "R" Us too ($32.99), but I haven't seen the Sea Turtle in the store, just online. It seemed pricey to me at first, but you can't put a price on 6-8 hours of straight sleep... especially with an infant AND toddler. My littlest guy has the original turtle too... Grandma kinda went nuts lol Hope this helps, Good Luck!

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