Skipping Kindergarten?

Updated on May 12, 2009
M.K. asks from Elk Grove, CA
47 answers

My sons pre-school teacher recommended we look into 'skipping' kindergarten with our son who's almost 5. We are going to look into it. We do not take it lightly by any means. Just curious if anyone has any thoughts they can share with us regarding skipping kindergarten. Mom or teacher thoughts. My main concern is his social readiness. She thinks he'll do okay. He is really advanced in his class and she thinks he may get bored in Kinder and start to have behavior problems. We are going to talk to the elementary school on Monday. Thank you for your time!

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So What Happened?

Thank you to all that responded. As always, you have provided great perspective. At this point we are not looking into skipping kindergarten. It was nice of his teacher to suggest it, but weighing all the information, we feel it would be better for him to not skip grades. Thanks again and have a great day!

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L.O.

answers from San Francisco on

I will simply echo what most of the respondents have said and say don't do it! Kindergarten is like crawling--if they don't do it now they'll be missing some fundamental growth experiences and have to make up for it later. See if you can find a K-1 class. But even if he's bored in K, don't think that putting him ahead even in 1st or 2nd will work. My oldest was reading at 4, started K when he was 5.10, and then skipped grade 2 against my better judgement. He suffered for that decision all the way through school.

Give him a chance to be little as long as he can. He'll be big for so much longer! If he wants to graduate early from 8th grade or high school--that's the time to kick ahead!

Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi M.,
My understanding is that most developmental experts have been against skipping grades for the last few decades. I was born in the early 70s, and when I could read books by the time I was three. I also had strong math skills. The school where I was in kindergarten didn't know what to do with me and wanted to skip me one or possibly two grades. My parents spoke to my pediatrician, who said in no uncertain terms that I should not skip any grades (this ped was the head of the American Pediatric Association not long thereafter). He said that my social and emotional development were equally important and that, no matter what grade they put me in, I would likely pick up the subject matter more easily than average and would be equally likely to be bored. Skipping a grade or two would be unlikely to solve the academic issues and would likely create new ones in other areas. My parents ended up switching me to a school that was better at handling differentiated instruction. I am so thankful that they chose this route. Childhood already goes by way too quickly.

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N.A.

answers from San Francisco on

M., DON'T DO IT!

Things might seem fine until 5th or 6th grade. It's then that the boys begin to have problems--social. My husband went from K to 2nd in the same year because he switched schools and was so bright. He wouldn't do it to his son! As a reitred teacher, I know there are ways to challenge an exceptional child, and he'll be much more rounded and happy! Good Luck...N.

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J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My second son (now age 10) only went to half a year of kindergarten for the same reason. His preschool teacher suggested moving him into kindergarten the moment he turned 5 which was at the end of January. I assumed that he would "repeat" kindergarten the following fall so he would have a full year, however after speaking to his teacher they were very confident that he should go into 1st grade. My son lost interest quickly and would stop paying attention in class when he got bored. He would behave wonderfully when challenged.
We decided to go ahead and put him in 1st grade at the age of 5, but we explained the situation to his new teacher and asked her to communicate with us if she had any concerns with his social or academic growth. We were especially concerned because the school he was going to was very small and the class he was in was a combination 1st and 2nd grade. He was in the same class with 8 year olds! After a few months the teacher asked me if they could put him back into the kindergarten classroom. She explained that academically he was very accelerated, he was not only keeping up with the 1st grade work but he kept "butting into" the second grade classwork as well. She said he could do division better than a lot of her second graders. I thought that was pretty cool. But unfortunately he was still getting bored. The curriculum they were using was very repetitive and once he had mastered the skill he would simply stop working and start spinning on the floor or doing whatever fidgety thing he felt like at the moment.
The teacher's solution was to put him back in the kindergarten classroom (so she wouldn't have to deal with him) and give him the 1st grade workbooks to do on his own with the kindergarten teacher's guidance. Well, this did nothing for his behavior except that his new teacher was better able to handle it and he was no longer showing up the 2nd graders.
The following year we switched schools, we met with the principal and the 1st grade teacher of the new school to see what grade we should put him in. Since he technically was coming from a kindergarten class, but had been doing the 1st grade work. The teacher felt she would be able to challenge him sufficiently in her 1st grade class, so after "skipping" kindergarten initially he was now "repeating" 1st grade.
This seemed to work well, she was an excellent teacher and constantly kept him challenged with word problems and worksheets from some 2nd and 3rd grade curriculum.
The following year I pulled my children out of school and decided to homeschool through a local charter school. My son completed all of his 2nd grade material the first half of the school year so we then allowed him to complete 3rd grade during the 2nd half of the year. I made the decision to officially make him a 4th grader the following year. So technically he "skipped" 3rd grade according to the school transcripts. By this age he was ready to deal with being around older kids and better able to control himself when he had mastered a skill long before the other students. I learned that allowing him to choose a book to always have on hand whenever he was finished helped him immensely.

Through all the drama he's come out fine, if I had it to do over again I would have gone with my instincts. I would have had him skip kindergarten and not have allowed him to be put back into it simply because the teacher didn't know how to deal with him. I would have worked with her more (I wish I would have found the book trick earlier) and changed schools in mid year if need be. That is my one regret, I should have done what I knew was best for my son; not what was best for the teacher.
If you do decide to allow him to go straight into 1st grade I would say, "Good for you!" But remember, he's no longer just a regular student. He has special needs now, he needs to be nurtured differently from the other students. Interviewing the principal and potential teacher is a great idea. You need them on your side. You need them to see your son as an individual and be willing to work with you to make him a success.
I know that was very long, but I hoped it helped. God bless.

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K.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm a first grade teacher and in my years of teaching, I've had a couple kids who skipped kindergarten and a couple who skipped preschool. These kids struggle quite bit - a combination of academic and social issues. While maybe they already knew how to read, their work habits and attention span prevented them from doing some of the work. Some of their fine motor skills were not as developed so when it came to writing, the content was good, but the handwriting was illegible, or their artwork was remarkably different. While maybe they were capable of the work, they didn't want to do it because it was hard. They were more immature - cried in frustration and had issues with peers.

In regards to your concern of boredom, when I hear, "My child acts out because he's bored", I always think to myself, "Are you saying that's it's ok for your child to act out because he's bored?" Bored or not, there has to be some level of self control and maturity regarding behavior. Does boredom excuse poor behavior at home?

Apologies if this response came out a little harsh. I'm currently dealing with a situation where parents are now kicking themselves for putting their Nov b'day daughter in school at 4 years old. They want to give her another year in first but she cannot be retained at this point. And even if she was retained, it would be a huge blow to her self esteem.

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R.G.

answers from San Francisco on

You may want to check the California State Standards so you have an understanding of what your child needs to know by the end of kindergarten. It is much more academic than in years past. Students are reading and writing sentences with high frequency words and CVC words. they need to be able to rhyme, blend and segment words. Students are also expected to know the numbers 1-30, add numbers up to 10 and subtract numbers from 10. Plus tell time to the hour, pattern, and solve some verbal math problems. After looking at the CA State Standards and you feel that your child is capable of meeting these standards then you may want to check with your local school to see if one of the kindergarten teachers would be able to test your child with the end of the year exams. That way the school would have academic data to support placing your child in a first grade classroom at the age of 5. The school will still need to take in the social aspect of your child fitting in a first grade classroom. As a kindergarten teacher, I have tested kids and sometimes the child was ready and sometimes they were not.
Whatever you choose to do, make sure it is an informed decision based on the academic and social needs or your child's future and not on the opinion of what your child is doing in preschool. There should be enough rigor in a kindergarten classroom to hold your child's attention and provide a positive learning experience of developing peer relationships, learning school and classroom routines as well as academics.

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S.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi M.,
As a former Kindergarten teacher I would be really hesitant to have your son skip Kindergarten and go straight into first grade. If he is really advanced going into Kindergarten then that will continue to build his confidence both academically and socially with his peers. The important thing is for you and your husband to really be involved with his teacher if and when he needs to be challenged in class. To watch that he isn't just given busy work but really challenged. How are his fine motor skills and social skills? Academics is only one part to a child's schooling and if you base a child's progress on that alone it could be a real detriment socially but more important emotionally. Hope this helps. You know your child best!!! Let me know if you have any other questions!!!

Sara

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

It looks like you got a lot of the same advice I would give. I would just add that don't just think of him now, think of him entering 4th grade, middle school, high school, college. Do you always want him to be the smallest, youngest one? You can always 'challenge' him at home. Let him go to school, be a leader there, if you have good teachers they will find a way to keep him interested. He may also surprise you and you may find he actually needs some help in certain areas. At home you can teach him higher level things if you feel he's not being pushed at school.

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K.L.

answers from Redding on

If your child skips a class at a young age you need to be thinking ahead to when they are in sports and how it will effect them when all thier classmates are 1-2 years older and on teams geared for thier ages and he wont be able to play with them due to his age. Then in high school when his classmates start dating, and you may not want him to at 14 when they do at 16. When they all get thier drivers licenses and he doesnt for nearly 2 more years. I would think Id rather cope with an eager bright kindergartener and give him more exciting work to keep him interested and not bored, than a unhappy teenager who might come up with real undesirable ways of coping with his age difference. He may also settle down into his age group and even out, so to speak, in a few years and then he would be behind his classmates which could cause more problems. Id rather keep them with thier age group and figure out a way to keep him stimulated than deal with the bigger problems of an out of sinc teenager. Hope this helped someway to make the right decision. Good luck. Time goes so fast he will be headed to college before you know it. What age do you want him to be moving out and into the dorms? oh gosh, scary isnt it?

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N.P.

answers from Modesto on

Hi M.,

With your first child going through this, I am sure glad you wrote in for feedback :O) It sounds like a reasonalbe thing to do..... I have 2 boys both born within 1 week of eachother in September. My oldest I waited until he was 5 to have him begin school, and my youngest began at 4....I am now holding him back in 1st grade because I shouldn't have rushed him. Here is my opinion.......

Why would his preschool think he would have behavioral problems? Does he have them now? It doesn't mean that he will have them in Kindergarten just because he's doing well in preschool, and that's a silly reason to "risk" the results of having him skip Kindergarten. You are brave to even consider it!

If it were my son, I would "thank" the teacher for her perception, and MOVE ON from that school, then let him continue to live a normal life in Kindergarten. If he does exceptionally well after 5th grade, THEN let him skip a grade.

He is ALMOST 5 now, which means there will be others kids in the class alot older than him right now, without him skipping anything. For a boy, this can result in being highly emotional and not having the maturity to even be able to handle things and expectations in school.

I would be proud of your son for his PreSchool acheivements and for following directions at 15 minuter intervals, and following directions for projects, and for learning and understanding his Pre-K instruction. He is off to a great educational start and you SHOULD be proud of him!!!!! I would leave it at that :O)

~N. :O)

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A.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I haven't responded in a long time, but this made me think back to my children and their ages when they started school. I myself skipped a grade when I was young and transferred from Arkansas schools to California at the age of seven. We came to California in March and I was in second grade. Within two weeks, the teacher called my mom to the school and said I needed to be in third grade. This was a very easy transition since school at that time had some combined classes and I was already in a second third grade class. It only required giving me different books. I had no problems with the transition until maybe when I was in Jr High because I was a year behind the other girls physically and I noticed it.
Then as far as my own three children, two went to kindergarten at four years ten and four years eleven months; the third was on the other side of California's deadline of Dec 1st so had to wait till he was almost six. I always felt like he was ready for school especially since he was the second child. This made him two years behind his sister in school and only a year behind in age. And she had gone to school and would come home and play "school", teaching him much of what she was learning. No matter when your child goes to school, there will always be a range of ages and therefore social differences. But the other side, and this I experienced, if a child isn't challenged, boredom will cause more problems than anything else.
Good luck to you no matter what you decide to do.
A.

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G.M.

answers from Modesto on

Both of my boys were super smart and could have gone straight into first grade as well. However, it's good for their self esteem to be the leader of the class and it also helps the slower kids excell when there are more advanced kids in the class. Your son will raise the bar for the other students. I would let him do kindergarten because of the socialization, finger painting and other crafts that are offered that he may miss out on by skipping. We don't want our kids growing up too fast! The fact that he will be younger than the other students when he reaches jr high and high school may cause problems as a lot of the other respondants have mentioned. Don't get in a hurry Mother, let him be 5. Don't teach him that he's different (smarter), because that may slow down in a couple of years and he will then feel pressure to excell which could cause anxiety for him. You may want to look into some private schools if you really think the public school system will let him down. I spent a lot of time in the classroom as a volunteer when my boys were in elementary school. This helps the teacher to know that you care about your sons education and he/she will be more apt to challenge him if you have a rapport with him/her. Congratulations on doing such a good job so far, it's a blessing to have a kid that can read and do math at age 5 it makes school fun for them and they don't dread getting up in the morning to go. Sounds like he has a great future in front of him. So many kids can't read, write, add or subtract and they throw in the towel early. You've been very blessed!

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I am a mom of 3 and previous kinder. teacher. I would not advise you to have your son skip kinder. and go straight to first grade. I too had a very academically advanced child but he was able to leave his kinder. class and go to first grade for reading time. We challenged him at home and his teacher gave him more challenging work. Later in his school years if he is still advanced then we can look into advancing but kindergarten is soooo important for more than just academics. I think later in life there would be regrets for not having the "kindergarten" experience. Kindergarten today is not the same as when we went and you will be suprised at the standards required of these little tikes. So many struggle at the fast and advanced pace that is now implemented in the schools. Go talk to the teachers, sit in a class or two and then come to a conclusion. Good luck!!

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C.V.

answers from San Francisco on

This is an interesting position to be in. My son is also advacned for his age and acts out because he too is bored. many people around me think he has a behavior issue because he knows a lot for his age. He is very bright 3 year old accoding to his teacher. My brother was the same way. In fact, when he was in kindergaten the teachers told my mother the same thing you are hearing sbout your son. He and I went to Palo Alot school system which is very advanced school district. His elementry school teacher suggeted he skip 1st grade. My mother was a preschool teacher at the time and thought long and hard about it with my dad. They agreed to not skip the grade because of keepoing him with his peers and social skiils but to put him in other activities outside of school to keep him from being bored. He is now 35 years old and has a high teach job in IT. The one thing my parents though sbout doing when he started high school was to put him in a private school but they didn't have the funds back them. A private school would give him the education to challenge him. My dad sees that his grandson is just like my brother and he is going to pay for him to attend private school at 1st grade. Becuase they wished they could have done that with their son.

Good luck to you.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi... I teach kindergarten. I always thought that sending kids through the grades because they are academically ready was good. I had issues with my own daughter being academically ready but not socially ready(the other kids didn't play with her because she was uncool-youngest). I decided to hold her back and repeat K. She is doing great now. She is older than the others.
If you want him to be challenged academically look into Montessori education. I just got a second credential in Montessori education. The materials are not age based...they are readiness based. Kids are challenged at an individualized level. At the preschool level materials relate to a public school third grade level(math, culture, geography, language, sensorial. practical life etc.) Hammer Elementary in San Jose has a free public Montessori school.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi M.! I wasn't quite sure what you meant by "skipping" kindergarten. Kindergarten is not mandatory, however, children cannot start grade school until they are 6 and in first grade if they do not attend kindergarten. What will your son do for schooling from age 5 to 6 if he is not in kindergarten? More preschool? Kindergarten is an extremely important year for a child socially, emotionally, and academically. Someone else in the responses suggested looking into the state standards and I agree. The academics of kindergarten now a days are much more like first grade. I'm sure your child's teacher would be willing to work with you in challenging your son througout his kindergarten year. Good luck!

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M.O.

answers from Fresno on

I wouldn't have him skip kindergarten and move onto 1st grade at age 5. I am a high school teacher and the younger kids seem to struggle more socially then older kids. I have had some high school students that are a year young than their peers and they seemed less mature and often get picked on. I think what they learn in Kindergarten is very important and I don't know of anyone who has skipped Kindergarten.

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

How about homeschooling for a couple of years until he is old enough to take a placement test- then you will know exactly what level he will be at. In the meantime you will be blessed beyond compare with having your lovely intelligent children there with you. It is SO fun to watch them grow and learn. Early childhood curriculum is all over the web, and some of it is better than what the public school uses. (Spell to Write and Read, Cursive First, Rod and Staff English, Saxon or Singapore Math)

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A.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm glad to hear that you are getting additional advice and looking into this "huge" decision to skip your child from kinder to 1st grade. Definitely, you should go talk to the principal and teacher(s) who will be getting your child. Like the other Mamas on the forum mentioned, the curriculum has come down one whole grade level. The kinders, nowadays, are doing the old 1st grade standards, and the 1st graders are doing the old 2nd grade standards. Socially--is your child mature enough to handle staying at his desk for a long period of time? Is he mature enough to handle issues that may arises on the playground or in the classroom with his peers? Could he be able to remember to use the restroom before school and only during recesses and lunch recess time? Make sure that your child is able understand what he is reading. Decoding the words is not enough....the reading comprehension should be there. Is your child able to write and create a story with correct grammar and complete sentences on one topic? The math has basic algebra and lots of word problems. At the end of the year, a 1st grader should know how to regroup in addition and subtraction, plus money counting, telling time, solving graphs, measurement and identify 3D geometric shapes for math. Personally, as a teacher, I don't agree on skipping kinder or 1st grade because the format of teaching is so different. It's essential to the child social and academic development during these two different grade levels. In 1st grade, the child is learning how to be responsible in class and at home. It is a time of establishing studying skills/habits and learning the classroom procedure. If you really need to skip, I think skipping 2nd will be okay if your child is socially ready and knows all the 2nd grade curriculum. 2nd grade curriculum is an extension of 1st grade plus adding on more detail story writings and complex reading comprehension skills, plus multiplication and division at the end of 2nd grade. Don't forget that class size reduction is only available from K-3, which means 20 kids to a teacher back to 30 kids to a teacher when your child goes to 4th grade. That is a gigantic adjustment for many students from 3rd grade to 4th grade. That's the social part. In the end, you will be the one who will be making this decision. Good Luck!

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

What are the teacher's reasons for suggesting that he skip Kindergarten? We know the main reason, traditionally, for Kindergarten has always been for socialization skills. The schools now, seem to be doing more academic things in Kindergarten. I would definitely advise talking with the school he'll be attending. Talk with the principal and if possible with the teachers who would likely be involved (Kindergarten teacher and first grade teacher) You don't want to start him in school with any of those people having a bad impression of your choices. If you do decide to skip Kindergarten, does this mean you'd be putting him directly into first grade this year, or would you wait another year for him to start school. You need to be thinking also of the age difference he might have with classmates, and how that might affect him. If he goes into first grade this year, he'd be nearly two years younger than some of his classmates, and a year younger than most of them. That might not have any negative affect, but it could be a problem, so you need to give it consideration. If the idea is to keep him out for an extra year and then just start him into first grade, I don't see the point. He might as well be spending that year in Kindergarten as another year in the preschool that he's attending now. If he does have a boredom problem in Kindergarten because he is academically ahead of the class, most schools will accomodate that by sending him to a first grade classroom for some subjects. Our daughter was in her Kindergarten room for the first half hour or so each morning and again for the last half hour to an hour. The rest of the time she was in a first grade room doing reading and math. It didn't affect her negatively at all.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi M.,
I didn't see anyone mention this - many districts won't take a child for first grade if they are not old enough to have been to kindergarten. In my district that is Dec. 2nd. So if a child is not six by then, he/she can't enroll in first grade.

My daughter is in a dual immersion language school. Perhaps that might be the challenge you're looking for.

I would think your son would need to be able to read chapter books with no pictures, tell time, count money, know addition, subtraction and word problems to be bored in kindergarten. This doesn't even mention the fun activities and group learning processes. Kindergarten is quite challenging these days and fun. You can check out the state standards for kindergarten on the web at www.cde.ca.gov.

Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Stockton on

Hi M.,

When we were little kids preschool and kindergarten are so different than today. Now preschool is introducing children social and academic. Kindergarten now is more like 1st grade when were kids. My son Nathan (5 yr) went to preschool when he was 3 just for social not really worried about his academic until he was 4 yrs. When he started Kinder this school yr, in mid Sept. he started to reading and he got that quickly. Now he is adding by 8 (8+)and reading level 1 and 2 books that you buy at any book stores.
School has changed a lot over the yrs. If you don't put him in school then home school you son.

Good luck,
M. C.

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S.P.

answers from Sacramento on

my little girl was a bit older than the rest of her class entering kindergarten. she had some social issues and had some big losses so we opted to let her be the older kid in class (she just turned 7 and is in 1st grade). if you can get her into a classroom that provides a more advanced curriculum that would be wonderful. we have opted for private school in the Sacramento area to allow our girls to succeed at their own pace. the entire first grade class is working on 2nd grade material now; even the ones who were not 'advanced' in the kindergarten class. if you are in sacramento and would like to know about the school we use you can email me at ____@____.com sounds like your son has done very well in pre-school but you don't say if his class was a transitional kindergarten or structured preschool. can he write his name and the other letters of the alphabet? can he recognize letter and sounds? counting and recognizing numbers into the 20's?
bottom line, trust your gut about your special little guy.
S.

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I.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Your thinking is correct - please do not underestimate the importance of the K year for social/emotional development - if your child skipped Kindergarten he may be anywhere from 4-12 months younger than most children in his class and that is a social/emotional curveball that is tough at this age.

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I wouldnt recommend that at his age. Boys socially mature much later than girls. I would ask to sit in on a few of the kindergarten classes right now to see if there is one in particular that seems to be fairly advanced at this late stage of the school year.

There are fundamentals taught in kindergarten your son needs to succeed... My son was in a K-1 split for kindergarten and came out able to read and add, but wrote over half his letter incorrectly. I am a teachers assistant so knew what to look for and what to reteach him over the summer, but it was frustrating for him to go back and learn these basics because he felt they were too easy.

Good luck with your decision - I say meet the kindergarten teachers and tell the principal which one you want for your son next year!

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C.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I am a third grade teacher. I have a "young" class this year (June through November bdays) including a child who skipped kindergarten. I would strongly urge you to send your child to kindergarten. All of my "young" students are academically capable, but they lack the maturity in social skills and study skills. To me, it is just as important for my students to do things like work on assignments independently, raise their hands, focus, stay in their seat, etc. These skills, more than academic knowledge, are important for the future. I have noticed this year especially that these kinds of things are very difficult for all of my "younger" students. Just because a student is academically ready and seems mature right now, it does not mean that that will continue in future years. Speaking from an educator's point of view, there is no need to rush. Also, your child's school and teachers should be fully capable of challenging your child as well as giving you ideas for how to help him at home. I hope your meeting with the elementary school went well and helped you to make your decision. Good luck!

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L.D.

answers from Bakersfield on

Hi there,
I'm going through the same thing. My almost 5 year old is very advanced. He's been reading since he turned 3. My husband and I thought this through...and feel like skipping kindergarten is not the best thing. I am a teacher, so I understand all that is going on. Boys are especially imature and socially not ready to skip (in my opinion). Maybe you can talk with the school about moving him to 1st grade in the areas that he is advanced in. My son will be going to another class for reading.

I feel your confusion on this all. My son has became a little bit of a behavior problem in preschool.

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J.Y.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi M.,

I'm glad you asked this question because i went through a similar situation and found a lot of negativity surrounds this issue. Children are all so different. While a lot of moms recognize how advanced their kids are in different areas, not every child could handle skipping kindergarten. But, some can. You may find, like me, that some of the people you mention this to will show their concern that you may be anxious to put your child ahead simply because you recognize that you have a very bright child. That's not all there is to the issue and it sounds like you are fully aware of that.I'll share my story and maybe what I'm trying to say will make more sense.

My eldest daughter turned 5 in May the year she was to start kindergarten. She had always been ahead of her years and just before kindergarten, she started reading fluently on her own. Everything I knew about kindergarten (I used to work in schools), seemed far too immature for her. Prior to the first day of school, I had a meeting with the teacher and principal. They advised me to let her start kindergarten and see what happens. They allowed her to attend first grade for reading and spelling and it soon became apparent that she was developmentally far more like a first grader than a kindergartener and, by Christmas, we all decided that it was best that she skipped up and stayed in first grade full time.

She is now 9 and in 5th grade and still at the top of her class. She prefers older kids as the younger ones, even many of the 5th graders, she finds annoying with their naturally less mature behaviors. There is no way I could see that she could have stayed in the grade her age alone dictated. I am very pleased the school worked with us and we found the right path for her.

The school later admitted to me that many parents come to them telling them how wonderful and bright their children are. Many parents get their ego gratified in this way, or, like you and I, are seriously concerned about what is best for our children and recognize they are different. The school does not want to put someone ahead and have them forever struggle. I believe what my school did was wise and fair to see how it would go.

I also found other parents very negative at first too. It was like they thought I felt my daughter was superior to their child by pursuing this route. I got strange reactions. I think now, though, they fully understand that she just belonged in a different place that was more suited to her and we recognized that early on.

I am actually glad my daughter, while she probably didn't need it, got that kindergarten experience even if it was for such a short time. She did learn some things so it wasn't a total waste of time. It was a nice way to ease into school. The one area that she may not have been ready for first grade had she started in the fall is the stamina. By Christmas, she had grown in that area and was able to handle the harder, longer days in first grade. I think it would have been a huge struggle for her to stay awake, focused and at her peak those first few months.

Please feel free to contact me if you'd like to discuss this further. May you find the right path for your precious son!

Good luck with your son. I hope you find the right path for him. You probably know better what is best for him.

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M.F.

answers from Salinas on

I think when a teacher suggests something like that it should not be taken lightly...but thinking ahead my reservations as a high school teacher myself would come from social issues later. I work with some kids who are young for their age and I went to college with kids who are too young. Sometimes I think the social stuff catches up with them later when they are not driving with all their friends, etc. Just things to think about...whatever you do it'll work out! Good luck

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

I would neve skip Kndergarten s tisis wherehe will larn some of the basic knowledge he needs to progrss throuh the other gades. He will learn how towrkin a clas with otherchlden and whnit is ok to be social. Kinder is otike i usedto be whrethey wentand played,colrd te cookies an lk and took naps.It isa lot more leaning now.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

He is the exact age to begin kindergarten, and I do not understand the need to skip it. Kindergarten is fun and sweet and wonderful. He'll be doing the hard-core schoolwork soon enough; I can't imagine having a child skip kinder without a really great reason. Is there any reason to think if he's "bored" he'll have behavior problems? My youngest son, now 15, is exceptionally bright (has never gotten less than an A or A+), and was 5-1/2 when he began kindergarten, and he enjoyed it immensely, just like he's enjoyed all of his school experiences.

And this is looking way ahead, but your son will also leave home one year eariler, which you may or may not be happy about by then.

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C.T.

answers from Sacramento on

Here are a few ideas to try before you decide:)

1. Go tour an IB primary years program..with a K-1 combination class...inquiry based learning, self paced learning..where he will benefit from social skills that are emphasized in Kindergarten and highly expected in first and second grade..he can get "enrichment" materials..exposure to what is good and he can work with a teacher for two years. Schools that loop are good in that they have the teachers for a period of time and the teachers get to know their strength. Schools that are IB driven usually have outstanding teachers so the fear of getting stuck with the dud is reduced.

Consider an intra district transfer if possible. You can email me about the ones in Rocklin which are too far for you but you could call one and find one closer to you..

I also like the K12.com option if you home school.
Free public school with cirr. books, teacher to guide you and social opps..

Lastly, my k son went into K already at or above k level knowledge but not the fine motor, language, maturity or social skills. He was 5.5 I fought off the boredom comments by his preschool teachers. This was not to skip K but to minimize the other supports he would need with social skills, language and sensory issues. Our sweet and enthusiastic son developed some intense behavior problems. With his own special needs, he was completely overwhelmed with the demands and rigor of his K class,.more so than a typical child but often out of frustration that he had done a lot o this before, and needed to dig deep, work in smaller groups, quieter classes..more support. He was not ready or independent regardless of hisl age..For him, he will probably have to work all of his life to reduce frustration, increase his tolerance threshold for error because he is perfectionistic, highly sensitive and acutely aware of all of this. These are traits of rather bright children as they are often uneven in their maturation. To my regret, our son is not in an inquiry based program yet and his learning environment is teacher directed..with a lot of rotating group work. This works for most, however some kids need self paced learning, restorative time, time to ask questions..well, many questions :) Some teachers prefer quiet, group workers who can follow directions, follow rules and follow along at the average pace. The teachers have a lot of pressure on them to teach so very much. They need children who are compliant because they have a large group and these groups will get bigger with budget issues.....The children who inquire, have different ideas and are independent and even needy because they have more needs. let alone socially or emotionally immature, may upset the routine. Sadly, the gifts of the bright child can get lost in the whole class needs. With heavy assessing in primary grades, high content standards driving classroom goals and objectives, even the brightest child, most well intentioned teacher and formidable parents, can find it a tough combination.

I highly encourage a K-1 combination...

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M.D.

answers from San Francisco on

When I was looking for my 12 year old daughter's kindergarten, I toured several schools. The things that they were studying (at the end of the year) were things she already could do, and this was in the schools with the higher test scores. I was also afraid of the boredom factor. So I enrolled her in a Spanish/English dual immersion program where in kindergarten 90% of the instruction was in Spanish. That certainly challenged her. fortunately, when she got that figured out, she was mature enough to turn her paper over and draw, or find a book. I communicated with her teachers a lot. My 10 year old son, on the other hand, was in a similar situation. So he would get through his work quickly and start talking to others. Then he figured that he could do the work quickly, so he would start talking to others first and then rushing his work and not getting it done. We had to work with his teachers and with him to solve the challenges.

No matter what your decision, communication with teachers is key. My experience is that most of them want parent involvement and will work with you.

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D.R.

answers from San Francisco on

My son is the youngest by almost 2 years in his third grade class. He is able to keep up academically, but socially it is a struggle. He plays with his brother (younger) and his friends at recess. If I had to do it again, I would hold him back. The teacher expects the same thing from all of the students and my son is very emotional, so when she "picks" on him, he cries. I blame myself for this. Really, Really think about it!

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

If he "gets bored" and starts to have "behavior problems," then he probably needs to learn to entertain himself in kindergarten. Actually, I suspect that his parents want him to hurry up and get into the "academics" of elementary school, which is, in my opinion, a real disservice to a child. He hasn't even made it to kindergarten and already you're rushing him. Let him explore and enjoy every phase of his childhood.

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G.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Just thought I'd add my two scents as I was one of those who skipped Kinder as a child. There were no regrets for me, I enjoyed it mostly. By the time I got to HS, though, my mom had some. I was with an older group of kids, though only by 1 year, they were dating before I was allowed to, driving before I did and for the most part I was not allowed to ride with them until my Junior Year. They also had later curfues that I did. This created a lot of unhappiness and begging on my part and, of course, an equal amount of resistance from mom and dad. Although, on occasion, they made an exception, I mostly had to wait it out.

From a scholastic perspective, no ramifications at all. From a social one, my mom will tell you to this day that if she really thought it through, she wouldn't have done it. That said, boys are different than girls as is the peer pressure and the desire to be popular, I think. So maybe you won't have to face some of those issues.

Best of Luck in your decision!

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J.E.

answers from San Francisco on

I haven't read all the responses you've gotten, but I have to say, with so many parents holding their fall birthday children back a year, your son could be the youngest in his class by two years!

That is a tremendous difference, especially on the playground. His classmates will be taller, faster, stronger etc. When they start talking about tv shows, there will be a huge difference as well, especially as they get into upper elementary. What is ok for a 9-10 year old pre-teen, will not necessarily be what you want your 7-8 year old watching.

You may want to look into Montessori schools. They emphasize teaching to a child's level, whether that is advanced or behind, so the children are not bored or frustrated. All Montessori classrooms are multi-grades and there is always something new for a child to be engaged with. Find a school that can meet all your child's needs, social, academic and physical.

My children go to a Montessori elementary school. My 1st grade daughter is in a 1-2-3 class and doing mostly 2nd grade work, with some 3rd year and 1st year assignments thrown in. My 4th grade son is in a 4-5 class and is working primarliy with 4th graders, but for science and math he works with the 5th graders. His spelling group is currently working on what the teacher says are 8th grade words.

I would not have my children skip a grade, but I did look around to find an appropriate learning situation for each of them. Now we are considering middle schools... more research to do :)

Good luck. J.

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K.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I have two boys, ages 7 and 10. I started the oldest in kindergarten at age 4, (November birthday), because he was so bright and also big for his age. The youngest had to wait because he was a December baby. I wish so much that I could go back and hold the oldest one back another year. There is so much expectations on kids now and many parents wait to start boys later. It really starts to make a difference in the later grades. He struggles to be organized enough and to grasp all all the expectations expected of them. He also has a lower self-esteem because he is younger and less mature. This gets worse as they get to 5th and on. My youngest loves school because he is older than most and feels smart. He doesn't struggle to be like the older boys because he is. I have several friends who also started their sons early and they all regret it too. Give him the gift of being confident and the class leader. Learn from my mistake. Starting earlier never helps. Schooling is about so much more than learning.

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J.N.

answers from San Francisco on

If you're near the Dublin area, you could try Pathways at Murray Elementary. Pathways is an alternative education program that groups children in K-3 according to their needs, not just their grade level. For example, a 2nd grader gifted in math but not reading may be in a group working on 3rd grade math but stay with 2nd grade reading. You could talk to the director of the program to see if it would work for your child to have social interaction with the kindergartners while working on some first grade subjects. It's worth looking into if you're anywhere within driving distance.

http://www.dublin.k12.ca.us/vnews/display.v/ART/466587f03...

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi- ex-first grade teacher for 10 years...I think it is a huge mistake. K is about your child getting skills, but also developing socially. They learn how school works and how to follow proceedures. How they work w/ peers is actually more important than you'd think! Also, I have found that boys, no matter how smart, are not as ready to be students all day long like girls are...and that's in 1st grade. I would really reconsider it...wait until they are in 3rd or 4th...also, kids that are highly skilled at 5 are not always that way later....

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

M.,

I work with pre-school age children and I think Kindergarden is such an important part of a child's development. I think every child should go to Kindergarden-not so much for academic reasons,because that is not where the main focus is but purely social. It teaches them how to share, be in a group setting, and exposes them to new things. So, that is my 2 cents. Visit the school and talk to the kindergarden teacher- maybe they can do an evaluation and help you in your decision.

Take care,

Molly

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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Something you will want to be aware of is how prevelant holding children back before they enter Kindergarten. This may be different where you live but it is quite common here. My daughters Birthday is at the beginning of July. I sent her at the normal age. She's the youngest in her class. So your son could potentially have children in his class that are not just 1 but 2 years older than he is. Academically my daughter is doing fine in her school and well socially but there have been rough patches when she's been behind emotionally. If you do send him early, make sure you and the teacher are judging his emotional growth based on his age not his peers age. Take care!

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J.M.

answers from Fresno on

My biggest concern would be that he is not as mature as his peers when he enters highschool. It would be hard to be the yougest boy when everyone is becoming a teen. That may lead to behavior problems.

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G.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Maturity wise not a good idea. He will be the smallest kid in class and will have to struggle with kids who are two years older than him. At nearly 5 he is already disadvantaged by being the youngest in the Kindergarten class with kids who are all the way to 6 years old. I would not widen that gap any by skipping him ahead. I had my sons take an extra year of pre-school and let them play. They both entered kindergarten one at 6 years old and the other son turned 6 in one month. It really helped in the junior high and high school years for them being socially integrated.
GOOD LUCK!

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E.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I skipped Kindergarten and I am a happy, healthy 39 year old adult. I can remember all the testing that I had to do before I could go from preschool to first grade. The only item that came up was a little frustration at being the youngest in the class. I never could say "but all my friends are doing it" since the response was "they are older than you". This happened in high shcool.

My parents says it was a tough decision to make, but they realized that academically and socially, I could handle the higher grade. You know your child's abilities. Ask about trying first grade for a couple of weeks. If he is struggling, move him back down to K.

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B.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I personally wouldn't skip kindergarten. My son will start kindergarten this year as well. I looked at the standards and what he needs to know by the end of kindergarten and he knows almost all of it now, but I think socially it will be difficult if he skips. While your son may be socially ready for first grade, he will ALWAYS be at least a year younger than all of his classmates. I would just make sure your elementary school makes provisions for smarter children, providing them more challenging work and a GATE program for when he is older.

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S.H.

answers from Merced on

ABSOLUTLY NOT! Sorry I do not mean to yell, but Kinder is not only of social and academic learning place for your son but for you as well!
My 3 kids learned to read, write, count to one hundred , learned about poetry, about the weather, and how to share. I learned by being a volunteer in class about politics,money,time management,patience, that teachers do not get paid enough and that not all teachers should be teachers. The system just lets them at our kids just because they have a degree, nevermind compassion, joy, love, kindness understanding or consideration in their hearts, for the huge impact they will have on our kids now and in the future. Some teachers do, I and my kids were blessed with teachers who had that and more even after teaching for over 20 years. I have nightmeres sometimes about the teachers my kids could have been with. I was there and saw the differences and the experience kept me involved throughout their school years.I look back over all the years in school and see My kinder teachers showed me the importance of kindergarten, and how my son not only needed it once but twice. Unfortunatley I did not listen, so when 5th grade came along I SAW and was unable to have him repeat one more year. The principl said it was too late and to hold him back now would only frustrate him because his friends would not be with him. Not only was the school phsycologist with me and my kinder teachers, but two of his previous ones as well. The priciple said she had the last word and he had to go.
My son struggled for the next seven years and no matter what we did, his immaturity showed, I could see every year he was behind instead of being confident in his knowledge and at his learning and maturity level. My third child was way ahead because of the exposure of kinder for two years, thanks to my volunteering and the teachers generosity.They made sure he he did not get to do too much so it would not be boring for him, but the schedule and discipline of class routine had a great effect on him. He did not get bored and excelled until he hit 4th grade and his teacher wanted to put him up because he excelled in math, I would not let him. I asked her to challenge him . I did not want him to miss out on the foundation . I wanted him to be at the top of his class and have the confidense in himself that his older brother did not have. If my son had skipped kinder I would not have had the whole story from begining to now and it makes a difference. Every child is different in sooo many ways, they need us to be there, to fight to hold them back as well as push them.
Good luck and God Bless
S.

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