Skipping First Grade?

Updated on May 21, 2010
K.H. asks from Rochester, MI
26 answers

My daughter will be six next month and is just finishing kindergarten. All year, she has been going to a first grade class for reading and spelling. Judging from the homework assigned by the first grade teacher, my daughter would have no problem academically going into second grade in the fall. Her teacher has said that she would be fine emotionally and socially if she was moved up, but both the teacher and the principal seem to be reluctant to have her skip a grade. I was wondering what parents in similar situations have decided and if they are happy with how things turned out. Please give me the benefit of your hindsight!

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S.S.

answers from Detroit on

What about the fun-factor of being in class with her friends? I'd worry that she'd always be younger than her peers...

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B.A.

answers from Detroit on

I had my son skip first, and instantly regretted it. Don't underestimate the social aspect of schooling. It is important for children to be with kids their own age and helps them enjoy going to school every day. My son is back with his own grade level, and is enjoying learning so much more.

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S.S.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Life is so much easier at the top of the class, then the middle or the bottom!
I am so glad you are blessed with a child that loves learning! She will learn on her own. You can always do it later if you think she'd benefit from it. It's just a convenient time to do it between K and 1.
S.

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I have never seen anything good come from skipping a child forward in school, and I've never heard anything good about it either. In fact a lot of people I know that work in the educational system really speak against it.

My opinion, your daughter will be happier ultimately and will have a better school experience (meaning she'll like it and do well) if you keep her where she is. Skipping her forward is adding a lot of pressure that a child doesn't need on top of all the usual day to day pressures. And school isn't the only path to education. If she's not feeling challenged sometime down the road there are plenty of academic societies and clubs, and there's you of course. You can do lot of educational activities with her at home that will challenge her in ways she needs. Just some things to keep in mind.

Finally, you don't seem comfortable with it. I get the impression that something deep down inside is telling you it's not a good idea, but it's also hard to silence the "parental pride" voice that WANTS your child to win this accolade. Go with your gut and tell that pride to take a hike. Your daughter will thank you for it someday.

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J.M.

answers from Lansing on

I have a young teenager for her class. While your daughter may do well academically, there is so much more to school than reading. I wouldn't do it. She will drive later than everyone and be a year more immature when she goes to prom. Think long term. You have so much more ahead of you beyond elementary school.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I was not skipped, I was held back and it was a big advantage. I started kindergarten at 4.5 and was the youngest and smallest kid in the class (my birthday was 3 days before the cutoff). I changed schools and they moved me back a grade into 1st grade a second time. I was shy and it helped me a lot. I ended up in the gifted program and graduating in the top 10% of my high school class. Consider when her birthday is and her personality as well as the academics.

3 moms found this helpful

L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My sister skipped a grade. My mother regrets allowing it to this day. My sister did fine academically, but socially she hung out with the kids from the year behind...
She never really "fit in" with the kids in her grade.
She is brilliant, so academics weren't much of a challenge... but the social/emotional issues were huge...
YMMV
LBC

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

what about Math and english?????? Thats probably why the matha matics in the beginning are review and difficult as the time goes on during the year. I wouldn't do it.

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S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

I am late in commenting. I had a gifted child in K, 1,2,3. She is still very smart. But it caught up too her in 4th and we got our 1st C and D and F.
So I think that our little ones stand very smart in these early ages, but it will eventually catch up too the children...... I would also say older is better then younger........although my other one is moving into 2nd just turning 7 years.
But she is doing very well.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

Before you skip her, I would invest in an educational evaluation that identifies whether or not she is just learning quickly or if she will continue to learn at this pace past the end of 3rd grade. Most kids will be in line with their peers by the end of 3rd grade, which is why it is very, difficult and unwise to put a "gifted" lable on a child until 4th grade or beyond. It is far better in most cases to enrich the child's education at age-grade level unless you know for sure that you won't need to hold her back later. The issue really isns't if she will do fine in 2nd grade, it is how she will do in 4th and 5th. There may very well be holes in the sequence of 1st grade knowledge that you are unaware of, and if so, you could set her up for some difficult learning ahead.

Any educational decision that you make that is out of the normal skeem of theings should be done based on data. I would get some.

M.

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A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

1st grade and 2nd grade are two different animals. My son is in 2nd this year and they do mostly independent work. Read to themselves, math worksheets by themselves etc. First grade was way more interactive learning. I would put her in first and just make sure that the teachers continued to challenge her.

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B.V.

answers from Detroit on

You don't mention how her math skills are? My sister skipped first grade b/c her reading was well above 1st grade level, however she really struggled in math because she did not have the foundations of math from first grade. Being a teacher, I don't see any benefit in skipping a grade. Most classroom have leveled curriculum to meet each learner's needs (especially in reading). I would put her in first grade.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I agree with the first 2 moms. Do not advance her. She will benefit from being in her grade doing more accelerated work.

As she gets into higher grades, there will be maturity issues, social issues and I promise when she gets to middle school and high school, you will want her to be in the correct grade level. She will always be able to take advanced classes.. I will give you a perfect example.. Our daughter was a late summer child who stayed in her grade but could have been advanced.. Problem is she would have just turned 17 when she left for college.. This way, she was just 18 when she left for college..

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A.B.

answers from Benton Harbor on

I had a the same situation with my son. Both, the teache and principal were reluctant in my son skipping first grade but did not influence our determination. So my son started 2nd grade with children much older than him according to birth dates. To make long story short he repetead second grade. You have to judge your child's maturity in this sense. My son was prepared academically but socially just that one or two year difference in age, his birthday is in November so he started second grade at 6.5 years when most mates were going to be 8 years made a lot of different in his comfort level.We felt kind of sad for letting him repeat second grade but this time it worked. He did not struggle emotionally to keep up with the pace of others. He was at the same level has his peers. My son now is finishing fourth grade with very good grades.It is going to be up to you to judge the situation with your daughter, the good thing is that you have a girl( you know girls mature faster than boys!), so I wish you the best in your decision making, just be sure you are always there for your child, but then I'm pretty sure you are!. Best of luck. ABB

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N.K.

answers from Benton Harbor on

I don't have a kid that skipped a grade but I'll toss in my two cents...I'd say it all depends on your daughter and the 1st grade teacher...my vote would be to let her move up to 1st grade because then she will still be with her friends from Kindergarten, but if her 1st grade teacher isn't willing to challenge her (possibly apart from the other kids) or your daughter gets bored and starts to do poorly in school or dislike school, then go ahead and let her skip ahead. She might love that 1st grade comes easy to her and may even be helpful to the teacher in helping other kids learn...best learning is teaching...my vote is let her start 1st grade and see how it goes!

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L.J.

answers from Detroit on

I wouldn't skip a grade, my daughter is also way above her reading level. by the end of kindergarten she was at the end of first grade level. now in first grade she is reading almost 3rd grade levewl but still has the comprehnsion of a 1-2 grade. A lot of times now kids who are advanced get more advanced work, i don't think it is like it used to be when the smart kids got bored, at least in my daughters class they keep everyone busy

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A.A.

answers from Jackson on

As a child that started school early (at 4yrs old b-day late nov) I found that I did well academically but socially I related to the students in the grade below me. I matured physically at the same time they did and was teased a little in high school for being a late bloomer. I would have been a late bloomer anyway but maybe it wouldn't have been noticed as much in the grade below me. I don't regret that my parents put me into school at the time they did. I was always emotionally and academically placed in the correct grade.

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M.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I would advise going into first grade and seeing how she does. If she's bored with the school work, and complaining that its too easy on her own (not you asking her about if its too easy), then proceed with getting her moved up.

The reason I caution you about doing it now is that though she might be able to handle the harder school work, think about how young she'll be when graduating from high school (barely 17 according to my calculation). Will she be ready to go to college and emotionally mature enough to handle that pressure? She won't even be a legal adult when starting college. Think about her picking a career at that age, and also dealing with the social issues that college kids face. Also being barely 13 when starting high school could be devastating socially. Many kids do fine, but I just don't see a point rushing kids unless they need it. The effects of the skipping of the grade might not be an issue now, but its more when they are adolescents that you see more of the social/emotional things happening.

My husband had a hard time focusing on school in about 5th grade and was skipped and it made a huge difference, he was no longer bored. He did fine starting college at 18. My brother started school at 7 and just could not concentrate, so was allowed to quit and start again the following fall and did much better. He was always older then the kids in his grade, especially as many started at 6, but even then had trouble being emotionally mature enough to make college decisions when it was time.

Best wishes as you work with your daughter and teachers to decide what's best for her.

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T.R.

answers from Detroit on

Hi K H,
I am going to answer first from a teaching perspective. I formerly taught 4th grade. One year I had a very bright young man who had skipped 1st grade. He was definitely strong academically, and he even got along with his "older" peers relatively well. I did see some pretty big issues with his attention span and ability to "sit through" longer lessons and instructions as compared to the average (non-ADHD/ADD) 4th grade student. He was very much a 3rd grade student in many ways.

As a parent now, I would agree with those who have mentioned the possible ramifications later on in your daughter's school career. The ideas of competing with students so much older in high school, and the concept of dating (I KNOW- It's NEVER going to happen, right?!?!!?) older boys at an earlier age is going to be a possibility. There are big maturity/emotional differences between ages 13-19.

Could she get some special instruction or challenges from the teachers/school? Should she continue on this path of excelling at her current grade level, could you consider the possibility of moving her up a grade at a later time, especially when she can understand the situation more and help to make the decision?

Best of luck to you with this challenging decision. Ultimately, you know your child best and can make the most informed decision for her!

T.

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S.H.

answers from San Antonio on

i deeply regret my dd skipping a grade. She is smart, but she would have benefitted from feeling like top dog in her age level. She is also not where the other kids are in terms of physiological brain development (there's a reason algebraic concepts are introduced in 7th and not 8th grades, and it has to do with the maturation of the brain. It would be a shame to get there and not be able to "get it" just because you're not old enough) and in terms of hand-eye coordination.

She's doing fine, but she's not exceling. I think excelling would have been a great place for her to be. Now we're having to see if we want her to repeat a grade. There's also the issue that when she's 15, she's likely to be dating boys who already drive. I don't like that idea.

Having done it, I'm against skipping a grade. I'd bet the school has the same thoughts as I do.

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S.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is in a similar situation. She is at a first grade level in her reading, spelling as well as math. We have decided to not skip her we feel there is no reason. The school has told us they will continue to give her the higher work next year and see how she does, but we wanted to give her time to stay with her friends and not move her to soon. i would rather her be at the top of her class then the bottom or somewhere in the middle, just better for her self esteem. Her teacher and i both feel she would do fine moving up but my husband and I figured whats the rush, if they are going to give her the higher material next year anyways why rush into it. I dont know if this helps but good luck and congrats on the smart little girl you are raising.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

She is going to be a young second grader,the kids will mostly be 7 and some just turning 8 in her class (big difference socially/emotionally). My daughter has a Nov. Birthday. so she was 6 when she started 1st grade and was one of the first to turn 7. Academically she was more then ready for second and would have been in second had I not done preschool instead of kindergarten the year she was turning 5. I have no regrets at all. I've spent time in her class and know well enough that she would have been OK. But why? Why rush it? Her teacher did a great job of allowing her to move ahead of her peers. She's at a 4th grade reading level, math comes easy and a social butterfly. Loves her friends and looks forward to school everyday. She is on the small side which was one of the main reasons I "held her back" as some like to call it. I wouldn't change a thing. She has confidence that she might otherwise not have, had I moved her ahead too soon. You know your child best, but I think it's important to consider what the teacher and principal are saying as they see this more often and are probably more aware of the pros and cons.

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E.C.

answers from Detroit on

I had the same thing come up with my son last year. After several talks with some parents of older children that had to make this decision, I found it best to find other ways to challenge him instead of allowing him to skip a grade. In the long term, it seems to put some kids at a disadvantage.

My son is already the youngest in his class. He has a late November birthday, so if he skipped a grade he would be 2 years younger than some of his peers. In elementary and middle school that doesn't matter much. In high school, when his friends would be learning to drive and dating I believe I would either deal with the "but my friend is doing it, why can't i?" or the challenges of him playing sports in 10th grade at 13 against 18 year olds in 12th grade. Looking even further ahead, I was barely 18 when I went off to college. I imagine that to be a 16 or 17 yr old college freshman, away from home, would be quite challenging because they are not legal adults.

My son was given an IQ test and has now been accepted in a school for the gifted. There are also DAPCEP (Detroit Area Pre-College Engineering Program) classes that begin in 4th grade, along with programs at the Detroit Science Center and many other facilities that will help to challenge students.

Many children adapt just fine with skipping a grade, but I know that many educational professionals are steering away from it in recent years. I would talk to the teacher and principal more about why they would be reluctant. I would also take your daughter's thoughts to heart. She should have some input on what she can handle. And along with the information you received here you can make an educated decision.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

I would keep her right where she is. I have 3 daughters. The oldest has a late birthday, November but I sent her to kindergarten anyway...at 4. The age cutoff was actually no cutoff, December 31. She was fine until about 7th grade AND we moved to Michigan where I guess most people held their kids back ALOT. By the time she was in high school, 13 going into 9th grade, there were kids that were 15 and by January of the school year some were driving! OMG! High school was a bit messy for daughter #1. Daughters 2 and 3 were a different story. We lived in Colorado when #2 started school. The cut off there was September 1, she had a November birthday so I had to keep her back. REALLY GOOD IDEA! #3 was reading at 2nd grade level BEFORE she went to kindergarten. When I went to register her for school the August she was turning 5 I found out that most of the kids going into kindergarten would be 6 before Christmas. I held her back too. #2 and #3 were much better at all the social graces, peer pressure and all the emotional things that go on with kids by the time they are in middle and high school. I believe the emotional "thing" is much more important than being concerned your child will be bored. Plus the emotional thing really doesn't show up til middle school. When we moved to Michigan I asked to have the oldest daughter held back exactly for that reason and "they" would not let me...same deal backwards. Check into any accelerated programs available or extra work that she could do and keep close tabs with her teacher. Keep her little brain as busy as possible! It is interesting though...as hard as it was with daughter #1 through middle school and high school, she survived just fine, went to college, got her masters and married the BEST guy in the world. That part would not have happened if I had held her back when she was in 7th grade. I don't know if this helps or not, all the best to yu!

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M.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

My daughter skipped 2nd. She is fine and wishes she had also skippd 7th. She will be the youngest to graduate in her class but she is a sophomre and has completed all the calculus and the only science she has left is AP Physics.
If your daughter's math is at a 2nd grade level or higher then go ahead and skip her. If her maturiy level is so much older than 6 then skip her. My dauhgter never played the traditional 6 year old things, dolls, dress up. She would rather be in the kitchen or in the garage workshop with us, working on real things. She has always had much older friends.
My daughter actually started her period early so that was a blessing of sorts, she was right on time with the rest of the 7th graders. Our biggest issue is this year the sophomores are getting licenses but she has to wait another year.
Holding her back academically will be torture for her. She will get bored and quit. As my daughter says "Why should I do all this busy work when I get A's on all the tests?"

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B.O.

answers from Grand Rapids on

From personal experience, and I am also a teacher, our son started 2nd grade then moved into 3rd at Thanksgiving because it was either ask the teacher to provide him with a totally seperate curriculum because he was so far ahead of the other kids or have him "learn" things he already knew all day every day. He had his share of typically growing up issues as we went along but to make a long story shorter, he was a National Merit Scholar, went out of state for undergrad thanks to that scholarship and just graduated from Duke Law School at the age of 24. I'm very proud of him, but he just is who he is...which is very smart and awesome! Please let me know if you have specific questions!

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