Sitting at the Kitchen Table

HI L.,

I can totally understand, we did the same thing back and forth and eventually just got rid of the high chair!! My 21 month old sits at an adult chair, and does get up a lot, but I finally decided I don't really mind because he always comes back to eat(although sometimes we tell him the cat is going to eat his food if he doesn't which seems to work, not the best idea though). However it seems like you really want her to sit, so I agree with the others to make it really clear that it is either the big chair or the high chair.. I wouldn't have her at the table until the food is right at the table ready for her,so she has less time sitting. Also, I don't think it is realistic to expect a 2 year old to sit until the rest of the family is done eating, unless it only takes 10-15minutes for everyone to eat or unless your at a restaurant. I would suggest you enforce it until she eats what you believe is a reasonable amount then let the girl go play. Good luck. Hope is gets better soon.

I would ask the people at the daycare where she sits at the table without a problem for suggestions as to how they keep the kids at the table. It obviously works. Good luck

Hi L. -

My daugther turned 3 in August and has been at the table with us since she was about 18 months. We started out in a booster seat that had buckles, so we could buckle her in. She has been on an adult chair for about a few months now. We had a few instances of her getting down and wanting to play around. There were a couple of nights where after she started eating that she starting getting down and goofing around, after warning her we took her plate away. She was very unhappy and let us know about it. It wasn't exactly fun for us, but we had talked to her many times before how we stayed at the table until we were done, and if she got down it meant that she was done eating. She wasn't going to starve, and the first time we let her back up to the table to finish. She sat after that seeing that we meant business that she was to stay on her chair and if she didn't we were prepared to take her plate away.

I think by 3 you have every right to expect her to be able to sit at the table and eat nicely (as nicely as a 3 year old can =)).

Good luck!
J.

L., my son just turned 2. He has been sitting at the table for about a year or so after we put his high chair out in the garage. He, like yours seemed to stand on the chair, climb across the table, stand up at the table (everything) then I realized that he doesn't like the high chair so I tell him that he either has to sit on his butt (or knees) and if he doesn't then the high chair is now back in the room and this is where he will go. Good luck.

We use a booster seat that you can buckle to the chair, although my kids are antsy at the table and don't sit still! You can buckle her in to the booster seat, helping to prevent boo-boos!

I think she should definately be able to sit at the table at home, especially if she does it at school. You just need to make youtr expectations and consequnces clear to her. I have my 3 year old in a booster seat on an adult chair because he is quite short and doesn't reach the table. I do not strap him in but on the occasions when he gets fidgety I tell him I'll strap him in which works quite well as a detterent. You have to follow through with whatever consequences you lay out to her.
So you could put her on an adult chair with the threat of the highchair as a consequence of not following your table rules.
You lay out the rules to her, give her one warning at each meal if she starts to misbehave (and tell her "this is your warning") and then put her in the highchair if she doesn't follow the rules. You will probably have a few meals that are disrupted at first but if you are consistent with this method she will quickly learn you mean business. Also you need to make her stay at the table until everyone has finished eating, if she gets down because of a tantrum she has learnt that the tantrum gets her out of a situation she doesn't like.
I think with any behavioural issues with kids the key is consistency.
Good luck, toddlers can be very trying at times but this too will pass.

She sits at the table for your daycare because she knows that if she doesn't follow the rules there will be a punishment that they will follow through with.

For years parents have said to me how do you get him/her to do that. I look at the parent like they are crazy. I say I just asked.

Then one day a parent said to me. When I took my child to the doctor today I explained to him the behavior problems we were having at home. But at childcare he is good as gold.
The doctor summed it all up. Your child knows at daycare he has rules and he is expected to follow them and if he does not then daycare follows through with time out. Consistently. That is the key....

we as children have to be taught. life is learned, not just known. So if you allow the child to sit at the table sometimes but other times you don't feel like arguing with her. Well then you have just shown her if she throws things, screams or whatever. she gets to do what she wants. stay strong