Sit and Eat W/ Fork and Spoon

Updated on November 19, 2010
S.J. asks from Lake Panasoffkee, FL
9 answers

I have a two year almost three that will not sit and eat. She used to sit with us every night at dinner , but never master fork and spoon . I put her in daycare and now she will not sit home or daycare so at daycare if she doesn't sit they don't feed her and in send stuff in her lunch box that i know she can eat with out fork and spoon..i understand that she need to sit and eat so i spoke to them about this and said if this is want ya'll are going to do then i will . So i need help how can i get her to sit because last night she wouldn't sit so she didn't eat and how can i get her to use fork and spoon with out her playing with her food...
Help please

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

I think I would focus on the sitting and eating first before demanding fork use. Maybe have it on the table, but just get her to sit and eat. Is she on the chair, booster, maybe if she can't get down, that would help?

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R.G.

answers from Dallas on

I have one the same age. She still sits in a booster seat or a highchair for most meals and it is mainly because of this very thing. When she sits in a regular chair she wants to get up and roam and at meal time that is a no-no. If she's in a high chair, she's fine, it never crosses her mind to try to get up and out until after the meal is over. Sometimes you just have to contain them. As for using utensils, sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't but that's one battle I don't think is worth fighting. No one goes to high school eating macaroni and cheese with their fingers...it will happen in due time. Pick your battles. Good luck!

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B.J.

answers from Rochester on

My son just turned 3. I agree that if she is not sitting then she is not eating. But about the fork and spoon I think it is a bit early to expect that all the time. My oldest was eating with a fork and spoon and drinking out of a glass at age 1 however my youngest child at age 3 will kind of use his fork and spoon, but also loves to use his hands. Different kids have different personalities and will do things at different times. In my sundayschool class non of my 3 year olds use a fork, but all of my 4 year olds use there fork and spoons. good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I had the same problem with my son at that age. As another mother said, we kept our son in a booster seat only to get him to stay sitting at the table. To get your daughter to use a fork and spoon can you use an "adult" looking fork and spoon? My kids used a salad fork so it was smaller but still looked like mine, they were more apt to use it that way.

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

I would take for an occupational therapy evaluation. She probably needs work on her vestibular system which is the pacemaker of our bodies. It tells us where we are in time and space. If she has trouble sitting, she has trouble with balance. If she has not been able to use spoon and fork by almost three, you need to look into this. For now, set up a small children's table and let her stand at it while she eats. Standing works the sense of balance better anyway because it forces them to use trunk and core while using their hands to eat. Don't think you are teaching her bad habits of anything. She will learn how to sit at the table later on when her body can better handle it. Go with nature, not against it and you will see chnages.

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

mine picks his food up and puts it on his fork or spoon and then shoots for the mouth. sometimes it turns upside down before it hits this is the learning process. sometimes he can get the food with a fork without using his hands depends on what we are eating. patience mom mine wanders when he eats but we dont have a dining room table its missing a piece and we are waiting for it to get shipped. if she is not sitting and eating I assume mine just isnt hungry.

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B.S.

answers from Saginaw on

Hmm at this age she should be pretty good with a fork and spoon. Is this because you never made her try them when she was little or she just never could catch on?

I would contact her pediatrician and have them give you ideas on how to help her. I think making a game out of it might work. Like with noodles see between her and you who can stab the most and eat them. I'm not sure that what else but maybe that is one idea you could try.

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M.F.

answers from Boca Raton on

OMG - you need to find another daycare! Just my opinion!

my just 3 yr old is exactly the same and it is totally developmentally normal. i have to remind her about 15 times through out the meal to use her fork....hands are just so much easier. they will not totally master utensils until about 4-5. as for them not feeding your child....i personally have a big issue with that. using food as reward or discipline sets up for future issues with food. Address the cause of the behavior and don't use food as a weapon. It breaks my heart to hear the aggressive path your daycare center is taking. in my opinion they are just to darn lazy to teach instead the cover this laziness with unrealistic discipline.

Consistent patience, praise and coaching your daughter will get you there. our child sits with us until we are done (thats our rule) and yes she asks repeatedly "are you done yet mommy" but i am proud of her (and tell her!) to be in her seat becuase i know that is hard for her with toys just a few feet away. My childs issue was patience so i had to address that. We tell her when she as to be patient to sing a song to pass the time (we are often serenaded for dinner). Teaching these types of coping skills goes miles.

You can also practice her skills with cutlery and make it fun. scooping and poking things are fun so if she is not comfortable with the utensils make a game out of it and you will be surprised how well kids learn from play. peer pressure is also very effective so remind her that all her friends sit and eat their lunch so she should too.

Good Luck to you!

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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

Try reverse psychology, by telling her, that you thought she was big enough to use the fork and spoon, but you were wrong (reinforce that it's OK!). Tell her that when she feels she is a big girl and ready to eat like a big girl, she can let you know, then you can let her have the fork again. So, don't focus so much on the fork and spoon right now, it seems like she needs to sit still long enough to actually eat. You can also do the reverse psychology on the sitting and eating like a big girl too. Just chose your words carefully, don't call her a baby, that will only make it worse. Name calling is no good. Also, if you plan a nice treat or dessert for after her meal, that might be a good reward for her to sit and eat. Good luck!

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