Sisters Fighting All the Time

Updated on February 23, 2008
B.S. asks from Spencer, IA
8 answers

HELP! I am at my wits end with my girls. They are 11,8,6 and 5 and they are constantly fighting. I have tried seperating them but with a family of our size it is nearly impossible. I have grounded them, taken away toys, special treats. Nothing works, I grew up with my brothers and we did not fight like these guys fight. I am sick of the crying and fighting all the time.

What can I do next?

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answers from Des Moines on

Hi B.,

Some times these behaviors do worsen over time and they will take a little longer to change (as any other habit does)try to be loving and patient. We are all human and these things are very frustrating!!

You may want to talk to them all about these issues when they are not happening.

You many want to try calling family meetings each night. And use this time to teach and review some problem solving ideas.

Ask the kids to contribute to these idea's...
Make a chart using the idea's that were discussed and refer to this chart when issues arrive.. Ask the kids what they could have done differently, and let them know how proud you are of them for solving the issue so well!!

Also you can ask the kids if they used any of these idea's to avoid any issues today. Or what could they have done today to avoid a the issues.

The problem solving skills are not only useful at home, but can be used everywhere... Now and all through out their lives.

Laugh, Love and enjoy your babies! They grow up far too fast.

Blessings to you all!!

T. <><
Meme to two

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Omaha on

Something that I do when my kids start fussing with each other (ages 9, 7, and 4) I make them sit on the couch and hug each other or hold each others hands. THEY HATE IT! But within just a few minutes they start laughing a giggling with each other and normally there is at least a little bit of peace in the house for a bit afterwords. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Sioux City on

ok mom try this, reward for good behavior, for instance, help plan a meal and help prepare it, nite out on the town, if no fighting for a couple weeks, I had four children and babysit, for many, I gave um each chores if they did thier chores, everyday, they got one nite no chores at all, they seem to work the best, remember reward for good behavior and if you punish make sure u stick with the punishment, son thought it was end of world when you took his gameboy away.. lol.. but he learned, good luck mom .. T.



answers from Sioux Falls on

My kids are 12(boy), 6 and 3 (girls), (and another girl on the way!) and every once in a while we have a pow-wow about what the "DO's and DON'TS" are of the house, using all their ideas and of course contributing some of mine). I make the two lists on large paper and post them. (for example no name calling is a DON'T, listening to eachother is a DO, talking not yelling, etc). I usually get a good response for a few days after that, at least.
Also, as soon as I notice negative behavior, squabble, picking on someone, etc., I give each of the involved persons a job (separate different jobs!) without any discussion. It may be as simple as taking out the garbage, sweeping the basement, putting away clothes, etc. This usually works very well because it separates them and gives them time to think while they work. When they are done with their chores, I usually ask them individually why they think I broke them up and what could be done differently, and feelings, and all that jazz. Then if appologies need to be made they can after both are done with the chores. This has seriously been a lifesaver. Our house can go from loud chaos to quiet very quickly, and things get done! I strongly urge you to try this. Have a list of chores ready so you can be ready for anything! Good luck!



answers from Des Moines on

I had this issue and resolved it. Here is how...I told them that they would be friends forever. Five years, ten year, twenty years from now, they will know eachother. That they will be friends forever. Make sure they know the rule is NO fighting. If they begin fighting, make them appologize and hug. Get them Best Friends necklaces. Have them bond and embrace that they are sisters. Take pictures of them and put it in a sisters frame. Do anything to bond them and make them a team. If they feel a special bond, they are less likely to fight.



answers from Davenport on

I have four girls (11 9 8 and 6 and they are the same exact way. Constantly fighting and so negative to each other. I grew up in a big family and I don't remember it ever being that way. They argue about every single little thing and hardly ever do a kind gesture for each other.



answers from Janesville-Beloit on

Hi B.,
Do your girls share a room together? If so, maybe separating them. The oldest one is getting to that age that she's gonna want her own space to be alone.



answers from Omaha on

i have only one older sister, just her and i in our family. we faught none stop from the time we were 12 and 10. (me 10) she started getting into smoking, drugs, drinking. we physically faught from that age on till our last fight when i was 19. i'm not a fighter. i was an honor roll studen, cheer leader etc. she was the druggie that was in rehab her senior year in hs. we are so different people we didn't have anythign in common. maybe try do thinks as a family together that they can have in common. do they do sports? do they play instruments? do they volunteer or participate in some church activity together? something they can have in common. also, i maybe get them involved in come charity where they give unwanted clothes/toys to less fortunate kids their ages. kids that are maybe wards of the state, or we have an organization here in our city that deals with kids that have been taken away from their parents for what ever reason and put in foster care. maybe donate to that, or take a tour of that as a family. let them see how important their sisters are to them. because no all kids have siblings or parents.
also, i would start handing down strict rules. if they are gonna act like preschoolers(well the older ones) then they can get the punishment of a preschooler, give them a time lol i like the other posters idea, make them hug and sit holding hands. i always make my two 3&4 hug and say they are sorry when they get upset with each other, scream, hit or something like that. are there good examples of good behavior in the family? i don't mean you and your spouse hit each other lol lol. i guess i mean kids learn what they live. have they seen a constructive way to resolve something? maybe give them the tools to resolve things constructively. once they start fighting, sit them down, tell them there is a better way to resolve this. get them talking. make them sit tehre till they resolve it. mine are still small so i'm not experienced with this except for my own life.. and it lol i didn't learn till much older in therapy how to resolve a conflict positively. without yelling and such.
one of them crying because their feelings are hurt or got hit is different. aknowledge those feelings to that one and make the other apologize.
good luck.. i'm feeling for you..

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