Single Mother Looking for Love

Updated on January 03, 2008
D.J. asks from Sacramento, CA
9 answers

I have been single for a few months and I would nlike a man to date and talk to on the phone after a long day. However, I only go to work, day care and home. How and where can I find single men? And then, the big question is how do I date with a son? Should he meet the men, should I wait a period of time, etc.?
Thank you!

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answers from San Diego on

Many of my friends have found the has helped them find love. Many have since become married!!

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answers from Sacramento on

well it is very hard to date when you have kids. I am the mother of 3 boys they are 5,7,9. i have been married for almost 10 years and the last 2 years have been troubling and we are now seperated. It is very hard to just date because it is almost like you have to have 2 seperate lives. all i can say is it is very hard. I hace a rule that i follow and that rule is that i let no men come to my home until we have been dating for a few months(2-3) and i know that he has potential to carry on a relationship. then when i see that he is still around and isnt playing any games i do let him come around as a "friend" and i watch how he interacts with my kids and how my kids act toward him. I have been dating for about 6 months adn well i am 31 and have met alot of men and none of them have made it to my house. so just find what is comfortable for youadn make it work. i personally dont want my kids to see me with a bunch of different men adn when they get older think that thats how things should be. And as for meeting a good guy you find what you like to do andgo do it if you dont drink you dont go to a bar or club to meet a guy. and if you dont want a guy with kids you dont go to the park to meet them . find what you enjoy to do join a group or activity you enjoy and everything should fall into place. i wish you the best of luck!



answers from Sacramento on

I am writing to you with this bit of information...MYSPACE.COM! I was a single mother of two, my kids' father passed away 5 years ago and I ended a bad, bad second marriage over 3 years ago. My kids are grown, 18 and 15, but I just worked and stayed home with my kids. I enjoy being with my kids and talking and sharing time together. However, I really did want to meet someone without hitting the bar scene etc...My daughter got me started on myspace, and what you can do is give as little information as you want, or you can be completely honest and spill your world out. I found it difficult because my 18 year old son has cerebral palsy so going out solo was difficult. Anyway, to make a long story short, it's free, you can meet and stay in contact with whoever you hit it off with. It's safe, and you have total control of who you'd like to communicate with. Now, after a year and a half I am happily engaged to be married ONE MORE TIME to the most wonderful man in the world. The communication online first helped break the ice before we actually set up a date and met in person. I liked myspace because you can post pics of yourself and you can communicate as long as you feel, until you are ready to meet in person (if that's what you are looking for.) My fiance and I have so much in common and we both knew right away and mutually narrowed our communications down to just he and I. It is the greatest thing these days! good luck to you! ~L.



answers from Portland on

Dating can be more difficult with kids because you're stretched a little more, but it's definitely workable. My son was 18 months old when I started dating after my divorce. It really is best to keep your child separate from your dating life. Kids can become attached or feel like they have to compete for your attention. When my husband and I met, we kept our kids out of the relationship until he and I had time to really get to know each other. We talked about it before hand and decided when each of us felt comfortable with adding kids to the equation. Since each of us had a small son, we set up a play date and took the kids to a fun place where it was all about them. Looking back, I feel good about him not meeting anyone else. He could have very easily become attached to someone that I didn't really like - which would have been awful for him.

Meeting single men can be tough. Most of the guys I met were through friends and co-workers, though many of my friends have tried and - I've heard a lot of good things about that as long as you're cautious. Now that your a Mom, I would highly advise against the "bar scene" or meeting guys in those situations.

Best of luck!



answers from Chico on

I would have to say wait a bit longer and find yourself; your center, if you will. Do you really want to jump back into something with a man before you've really had a chance to heal your heart? Even if you are the one who ended your last relationship, your heart and spirit need time to mend. I can understand the loneliness you probably are feeling but you could chat with friends/family for now.

When the time comes, I might suggest meeting people through your friends & family. Or you could try chatting/meeting with people online...I met my husband on a few years ago.

So, in short, wait before meeting someone and when you decide to date, take it slow. Make sure you meet them somewhere you are familiar with and feel safe...and don't introduce them to your son until you are sure that it is a relationship that is going to last for a while and "romeo" likes kids and is good to you. You don't want your son to get attached and get hurt should things not work out between you and "romeo".

I do believe that it is better to be cautious...especially when you have children.

Good luck



answers from San Diego on

Howdy There:

I feel for you girl! This is a tough place to be and I believe that a girl friend you have will help you with finding your OWN answers to these questions. Stay strong, you are a Goddess!

The thing about life is that it is so unpredictable. You never really know what will be next, especially with kids. Focus on your beautiful son...10 months old and not seeing mom all day has got to be hard for him.

Love yourself first...then your son...then others.




answers from Las Vegas on

I was a single mother but now I am engaged to a wonderful Man. I was the type that never waited and took time for me after ending a relationship. If you have only been single for two months you need to give yourself some healing time or you are goig to jump into another unhealthy or same situation as before. I know it is hard because you miss that companionship but try and throw all your effort into your child. I am sure he is affected by this also. When You are ready God will put someone in your life. I was taking time for me and my boys and six months past and I met my fiance through a mutual friend that was visiting them. God works in mysterious ways and he has someone out there for you when the time is right. Have faith and get involved at church with Singles there. It helps!



answers from Eugene on

I think if you are TRUELY ready to date than go ahead. But if you have any doubt than don't. Go to places that you like, like me I like to look around at the bookstore if you like to hang out there look for someone there, it's a fun place for you and your son. I take my kids there all the time. Be up front about your son. You don't want to be with someone who resents your son. Let your son meet him but not until the relationshiop is serious. You don't want men in and out of his life, what he needs is stability! Just be yourself a man will find you when you least expect it.
Best of luck



answers from Portland on

I think you need to go to livelinks its a chat line on the phone and you can stay at home with your son and meet single guys! Trust me it works, I met my husband on that chat line and we've been married for two years.

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