Single Momma Is Ready to Move on.....Needs Advice!

Updated on February 11, 2009
P.S. asks from Indianapolis, IN
4 answers

My divorce was final last June, but have been separated since 9/06. I am ready to move on and find someone. I just don't know how. The bar scene is not gonna happen again. I spend my free time with my son, working and working a PT job. Where do I go? What do I do? Where do I find time? I don't go to church or go workout and don't intend to any time soon (for $ purposes). Anyway, E-Harmony is working ok so far, but I want to go on a date with a decent guy and have one to one contact. Advice or anything?

P.S. Please don't tell me "it'll happen when you least expect it" or "you'll find him when you're not looking". I haven't been looking since 9/06 and still nothing. I'm over it!


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So What Happened?

well, i joined eharmony, but that seems to have been a waste! although i appreciate the suggestion of church, i DO want to start going, but not to meet someone. I want it to be for the right reasons, so i'm tabling that for now. i appreciate all your suggestions, but i have a feeling this is something over which i don't have much control over the WHEN. it'll come in HIS time and HIS time only. althought i feel i am ready, it seems HE knows better. thanks for your suggestions!

More Answers



answers from Indianapolis on

You are wise to take your time. Concentrate mainly on raising your child. I strongly recommend church, not only for spiritual help but social interaction also. Are there any divorce groups near you that you can attend? Make sure you get to know your neighbors. You never know who you might meet through friends.

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answers from Indianapolis on

If you google "Indianapolis Indiana single parents dating"
you will get a list of groups and dating services. They also say you should go where things happen that you enjoy and you can find free events in the newspaper or online.
Note: we gravitate toward a new model of what we had before thinking we can fix it this time. Try not to get what you already had, as that is one of the primary causes of second divorces.



answers from Indianapolis on

Hello P.
Oh how I understand your concern, I'm having that same problem and it's hard cause I'm a single mom of a 14 yr old and very peranoid in the dating scene these days. However go to, this site is designed for groups with a variety of interests they have book clubs, social clubs, a scrapbook club just to name a few. These are social groups depending on which one you join they have a variety of single meets. Where they go to movies, dancing and other interesting parties. I'm on there as well I have a small business so I use it for networking it's called "Networking In Motion" check us out. I have met a lot of interesting people that have joined my networking group, we go see jazz, I find out what their interests are and they are like my second family. Enjoy and let me know what you think.



answers from Indianapolis on

First and foremost, work on YOU. Create what you want (law of attraction). Don't spend so much time trying to FIND the right person, rather someone trying to BE the right person.

Are you sure your child is ready? You have to make SURE the child can handle the situation, as well. You HAVE to make sure it is gradual and DO NOT even consider introducing a new partner to a child unless you are certain it is going to work. Any other counselor will tell you the same thing (I just saved you some $).

What about connections thru people you know? Best that it's someone who gave give a referral or a "thumbs down" rather than someone no one knows.

If you don't go to church, why not start? There are churches locally (Fishers) that have EXCEPTIONAL programs for kids. How about getting the child involved and you can meet other single moms & dads. Maybe the single mom has a brother. It's a win/win for everyone. Maybe you gain a little insight and patience along the way, have a great time, you AND your child make new friends and get to do new activities and who knows............Look at it from the standpoint of -- it would bring new aspects into our lives--spiritual, social & emotional. You CERTAINLY have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain!

AND........doesn't cost!! I'd trust a situation like that FAR more than something over the internet.

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