Sick Child and Missing Work

Updated on June 15, 2010
B.H. asks from Detroit, MI
11 answers

*My son is sick and can't go to daycare. He is wheezing with bronchilits which he seems to catch about once every six months or so. Anyway? I have to take off work again ( took off 4 hours today for my oldest son's graduation) My problem is that I have been resenting my sister today. Her daughter who is the same age as my son (3 years old) is also sick. she left her daughter with our mom. she is leaving her for the night and she is going to go to work tomorrow. I was hoping to get some help as well but I don't want to leave my son with my mom when she already has a sick child to care for. My problem is that my sister would have no problem leaving her daughter if I had gotten there first with my son. But, as usually I never want to put my children off on anyone even though i really can't afford to miss work tomorrow.

tonight I find myself feeling resentful because I don't have anyone to help me. It's the end of the school year for my husband's job and he is understress trying to type reports and turn grades in so he cannot and will not miss work. So that leaves me calling in sick yet again. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I hate being mad because I'm the one who decided to decline the help. I could tell my mom really did not want two sick kids. How do you working moms handle this? I barely have any sick time left!

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So What Happened?

Okay, I've decided to drop him off in the morning on my way to work. What else can i do? Also, i'M going to start searching for an on call babysitter that I can use in case of emergencies. It's just so hard to find someone to trust with the kids in your home.
Also, this may sound crazy but , my feelings were sort of hurt that she did not volunteer. She knew he was sick and I had to go to work tomorrow. She watches my 5 year old on friday's because he does not have school on that day. She never keeps my 3 year old because he is in daycare 5 days per week. Now he is sick and she does not seem him that often. So maybe i'll swallow my hurt feelings and ask.
I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I need this job. I would love to stay home with my kids . And I do most of the time. this is why I have no sick time left!

More Answers


answers from Fresno on

This is so tough. Why is it that moms are always expected to take time off to watch the kids when they're sick? I make 4x what my husband does, but yet when the kids are sick, I'm the one using up all my sick time, which means that when *I* have the flu, I have to drag my sorry self into the office with a Costco-sized box of Thera-flu and hope for the best. Sigh.

Well, if you really can't get the time off from work, why not call your mom and just ask if she would be able to watch your son? I mean, it's no walk in the park to watch 2 sick kids, but on the other hand, maybe the kids could entertain each other to some extent. Bronchitis is no fun, but it's not as bad as the stomach flu for a babysitter to deal with. Plus, she's your mom. She had (at least) 2 kids. It's not like she's never done this before, right? Why not call her and just see if she'd be willing to help you out. And if not, do you have any other options for a babysitter? Maybe a SAHM neighbor who might be willing to help you out? If so you could offer to watch her kids one weekend so she and her hubby could go have date night... you never know!

I'm sorry. I hope you can find someone to watch him. =(

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

What about a mother in law? Also I think you should just except no more sick days and let your mom watch him. How many more days are yougonna have him miss? After the first 24 hrs if hes on meds hes not contagious and as long as hes feeling ok he should be able to go back to day care. I would just breathe and talk to your husband about your options and someone should be able to take a sick day( meaning husband not you). I wouldn't feel bad your mom is not gonna deni you anyway shes a grandma and you can't help hes sick. Good Luck

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

I understand it's difficult to ask for help, but it sounds like you already answered your own question. It's unfair to be resentful for something you didn't ask for...or about what you assume someone would do. Sounds like you were really irritated with yourself for not asking for help.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Albany on

I know you hate it, but I think it's ok to graciously ask your Mom. You're in a tight spot. Maybe you could do something extra special for her to make up for it. Mom's are the best, don't want to take advantage, tell her everything you told us. btw, I'm a stay at home mom, if we lived close, I would LOVE to watch your sick kids for the day! Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Providence on

I dont think your wrong for feeling the way you feel at all. If you think that your Mom will be ok with 2 sick kids I would ask.Its such a tough situation, believe me I understand I thought I was going to lose my job when my son had pnemonia.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

Whew! Did you ask your Mom? How do you know she wouldn't take both kids? If she wouldn't take 2 sick little ones, and your sister asked first...oh well! I have to think if you asked she would help AND if you got there first you would be in luck. What your sister MIGHT do isn't the issue.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

Hi B.---I agree that you should ask your mom to help. I also think that the 2 kids are likely to help entertain each other. They'll likely be couch potatoes watching movies most of the day!

Maybe your mom hesitates to offer her help because you seem so strong and wanting to be self sufficient. It's ok to need and ask for help once in a while. Basically, you have a decision to make. Stay home with your little one, or take comfort in knowing your son is in loving hands with grandma and his cousin. Then be content in that decision. You don't want to make yourself sick with negative thoughts.

So, you say your son gets sick often? Is he a picky eater? Sometimes, I think that we can't eat well enough to keep our bodies healthy. I am very passionate about health, particularly on the relationship between diet and prevention. I am taking a series of wellness classes taught by a Naturopath who has her PhD in Nutrition. Would you be interested in learning some strategies that might end in your son not getting bronchitis anymore? I think I can help. Please feel free to contact me and we can chat to see if that is so. Understand that I am not suggesting your family has a poor diet, but there is much research that shows that our food does not contain as many nutrients as it once did, hence the suggestion we eat in excess of 10 servings of fruit and veg each day. Combine that with our exposure to more and more chemicals each and every year, it's no wonder there is so much sickness these day.

Good luck and I look forward to talking to you soon. In health, D.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Harrisburg on

As an RN, and a new mom with a toddler, I work with really blessed people. We all understand when our children are sick, and we work around each other. Hardly any of us have any sick time, some of us don't even have it being that we work part time. But we all pull together. I have never been afraid of losing my job because of my child being sick. I guess it's the field I work in. When I was younger and worked either in restaurant or retail, and moms called off a lot, it was a little irritating, but sick children need that stable person in their life. I can also understand about your husband's job. However, I would ask for a little support in that you guys need some sort of arrangement when your kids are you'll take 3 days, he takes 2...or vice versa....or something of that nature.
I am also blessed that my mom lives with me and takes care of my son so both my hubby and I can work. However, when my son is sick, I still tend to take off work...or my husband does, just for that extra person.
Do like you said, start to network in your neighborhood, or your daycare moms, who do they use when their child is sick? Advertise for one, put an ad in the may be pricey, but there is a network of au pairs out there too.... is there a college nearby? Ask the student government for possible job placement....
Bronchiolitis is a very sickly child. I'm so sorry to hear your child has it. It is going to be a lifetime of respiratory illnesses that will lead to if not already, asthma related issues. Hopefully, no one smokes near the child.....

I hope this helps and God bless you're doing the best you can for your children. It's what we do! :) <3



answers from Kalamazoo on

Don't feel bad...some of us have a harder time asking for help. And your sister is not one of them. I understand your hurt feelings, as I feel the same way in a lot of situations that involve my mother and my sister.



answers from Philadelphia on

I think my family understands in this economy, you can't risk your job calling out sick all the time.
My husband and I both work late on the weekends. My daughters were with the grandparents on saturday, stayed over night and then were with my sister and neices sunday. First my older one wasn't feeling well, and by yesterday my younger one had a fever and layed in bed all day. I am going to feel horrible if anyone else gets sick, but what can you do?!!!
I would ask your mom and see if she's up for it!


answers from Kansas City on

I don't blame you for being frustrated. But you need to realize how difficult it is to have sick kids around. Running off to work when your child is sick is taking the EASY way out. My grandson is sick going on the 3rd day. He doesn't want to be put down for one single second. My mother is recovering from surgery and can't pick him up. We all live together (4 generations under one roof) and I run a daycare of my own. My daycare parents need me to be open so they don't lose their jobs. So I've juggled my grandsons needs against everyone elses needs for the last 3 days so that my daughter doesn't lose her job or miss classes. Right now I can't even imagine having another sick grandchild!

Your mother is a saint for allowing it and you have no business being hurt. Just be grateful.

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