Showers - Pequea,PA

Updated on July 05, 2009
J.C. asks from Pequea, PA
14 answers

I just saw the other posts on this subject! that pretty much answered my question. My daughter will just have turned 2 when our new baby is born. Is it appropriate to have a baby shower for the new baby? I was thinking maybe a "welcoming" party would be a better idea- gifts optional (there are things we need, of course). I am wondering what other second time moms have done?

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answers from Philadelphia on

A friend of mine is having her second and she is having a "baby sprinkle". Sounds like a cute idea. I guess it's like a shower but the gifts are small little gifts instead of the things you need when you have a 1st child.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

Another idea, if you and your circle of family and friends are pray-ers, is to have a prayer shower. Each attendee (who wants to) prays for a different aspect of the baby and family life. If this appeals to you, I have a template already done that you basically just have to switch in the right names. I can email it to you.

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answers from Philadelphia on

I must say that I'm kinda disturbed by the way people think about baby showers. Showers are not just about gifts, they are about preparing for & celebrating a new life. I believe that every single life should be celebrated, whether it was unexpected, unwanted, or perfectly planned. It's still a miracle & a blessing from God. I don't believe there are "rules" when it comes to baby showers. Every person's situation is different. Even if someone has a toddler girl already, they may be having a boy this time around and need boy things. Or someone may have given away all their baby items thinking they weren't having any more children. Even if they don't need a lot of the big stuff, it is still nice to celebrate and there will always be needs for the baby, even if it's only for diapers, wipes, bottles, and baby food (eventually). That's why a gift card was an amazing invention- whatever mom and dad need can be bought, even if it's down the line. A gift card for baby portraits is always a nice baby shower gift or welcome baby gift that anybody can use -for every number child. Whether you call it a "sprinkle" or a shower, it's nice to celebrate with mom (and even get gifts for her if she has everything she needs for the baby) and support her through what might be one of the toughest and most exciting times of her life. Not all gifts cost money either. I think even more meaningful gifts could be given, like making a personalized gift certificate -good for babysitting for a night out for mom and dad, or something meaningful like that (a load of dishes or laundry to be done, vaccuuming and dusting, taking care of the big sister so mom can spend more one-on-one time with baby -there are a million things moms need help with). Even just a note in a card telling them they won't have to worry about dinner one night after the baby's born because you'll be bringing something over (whether you cook it or buy it, I'm sure it'll be appreciated). Of course, you'd want to let them know which night it'll be (after baby comes) and make sure what they like to eat. You could even organize it with family or church that they won't have to worry about dinner for a week or two after the baby comes home. I don't think it's necessary to throw your own shower (which J. didn't say exactly), but I do love the welcome party idea. So, whether or not a party is thrown before the baby is born, it would be a nice idea to share your new joy after they arrive. J., sorry for all that, but I just had to respond to all those other responses. Enjoy every part of your pregnancy and your 2 little ones as much as possible. May God bless you all with good health & provide for all your needs. Love & prayers, Tabi

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answers from Erie on

Most people do not have showers for the 2nd child -- or 3rd or 4th. I would not expect others to provide for the 2nd child they way they do for the 1st.

Some family and friends will want to give gifts, but it is in poor taste to ask for them.



answers from Philadelphia on

Whenever in doubt, just let Emily Post's Book of Etiquette be your guide. Here's what she says:

Q. Is it proper etiquette for an expectant mother to host a baby shower for her 2nd baby?

A. While it is never appropriate for someone to host a shower (baby or bridal) for themselves, it is perfectly fine to throw a baby shower for a mother’s second or third baby, as long as the guest list is limited to close relatives and very close friends and/or guests who did not attend a shower for the first child. It is an especially nice event for the mother-to-be if several years have passed since the last baby was born, since the parents will have fewer hand-me-downs for the new arrival. Location can also play a part. When a growing family has moved to another city or town, it makes sense for their new friends to throw a shower, regardless of how many children the parents have.


Good Luck w/ your new baby!



answers from Philadelphia on

Yes, I like the idea of the welcoming party. That way, everyone can come @ once to see the baby and they can bring a gift, so you will still get some new things for the new baby. Best wishes!



answers from Philadelphia on

I always thought that if there were 5 years or more between children that tradition says ok. I think the reason that you do not do it earlier is because all of your things from the first should still be usable.

I am assuming that the welcoming party is after the baby is born. If so i don't see why you cannot invite everyone to meet him or her.

It is a very touchy subject on having a shower for each child. People really do frown apon it. I do agree that you can celebrate the birth somehow...that is why i like the welcoming idea. You may just have to really state no gifts needed. Good luck and best wishes with your new one :)


answers from Pittsburgh on

I read some responses here, and I must say I don't think it's tacky at ALL to have a baby shower for a child born two years after the first. Why? Because EVERY BABY'S LIFE DESERVES TO BE CELEBRATED! :) (sidenote: I was a teen Mom, too, and I was thrown a baby shower for the above reason)

My BF and I have taken a "poll" of sorts to see other people's opinion. We found, interestingly enough, that the older women and seniors found the ideas distasteful, but anyone under the age of 50 thought it a fine idea. So perhaps the "baby-shower-only-for-the-first-child" idea is a little old fashioned.(?)

How about this? Don't have a baby "shower"...have a "sprinkle"! lol And actually call it that! Register if you need to but if you don't, just request diapers or wipes or whatever necessity you need (you could have a raffle for anyone who brings a pack of diapers).

We decided on a "Cookout and Cocktails" event this August (mocktails for me, of course). No games, and made it co-ed. I am making up the invitations now...if you want to pm your emil address I'll send you a copy. We just felt that because my SIL is having a shower in July everyone would be a little burnt out on the games, organizing, etc. So we are having a party at our house and providing the food and drink. I am still registering but gifts are not "required" to attend. Very laid-back and fun (oh, and my 2 year old will be at my MIL..we are having a family gathering another day).

Hope this helps, and again, I think the current way of thinking is that it is a go ahead. :)

ADDED: Huh...well, a few more people think it is tacky, especially to hold one for yourself, so take my answer with a grain of salt. Again, the reasons why WE wanted to do it at our house and hold it "ourselves" is:

1) WE wanted to shoulder the cost for everything and not put it on friends or family (this is going to cost over $300)
2) My in-laws already have a HUGE baby shower they are organizing for my SIL next week and we didn't want to burden them with yet ANOTHER one to organize and pay for.

So, you will have to decide for yourselves if the above reasons mean that we are being "tacky". I was under the impression that we were doing something selfless, while still honoring the fact that we wanted to celebrate this beautiful gift we have been given (the baby).

I guess Emily Post and I disagree on that one! LOL


answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi J., Typically you only get one baby shower for your first baby...after that you are on your own so to speak. Sometimes, if you change jobs or move to a new area your new co-workers or friends offer to hold a shower for you for your second, but you should not expect it. Some family members and close friends may want to purchase gifts for the new baby which is great, but don't throw yourself any kind of "party"...that will make you appear greedy. Best wishes & congrats.



answers from Pittsburgh on


It seems kinda tacky to ask for a baby shower for every baby.Those close to you will always give you a welcoming gift. I didn't have a shower for my first one - long story teenage mom - 30 years ago. But with my second child (13 years later) I did. Many things are still usable, so getting a welcome baby gift would be apprioate.



answers from Philadelphia on

I guess it probably depends on your social circle - I'm in my twenties, and in my circle, it would be considered tacky to have a shower for you second. Even a sprinkle for a second is tacky if you throw it yourself. If someone else offers or surprises you with one, then o.k. But I would be very uncomfortable registering for something like that, I would probably do what others suggested and ask the host (or whoever takes care of the rsvps) to mention that little things like diapers, etc. would be great. But only if asked!!! Seems a little greedy otherwise, and it weakens the idea that gifts are optional.



answers from York on

We did a "welcoming party" for my second daughter. She was about 6 weeks old, and it was summer, so I didn't worry about germs.

My dad manned the grill, my mom did the other food, and guests could come see the new baby.

If anyone asked about gifts, we needed diapers, wipes, etc. We had all of the big stuff.

For my third, a boy, some friends had a shower for "Mommy" type things - meals, lotions, books, etc.

Good luck



answers from Pittsburgh on

I never threw a shower for myself,I always figured that was inappropriate. Our family never offered to organize one, but we had folks at our church that did. For our second baby, they didn't have a shower. They had a first child only policy. So she didn't have one. But I still had things from our first baby and relatives and friends gave us some gifts, though not nearly as many as with the first.

We were attending a different church for our third and fourth children, and they held a shower for both. That was very nice, because of the length in years between the first and third/fourth we needed lots of new things.

I like your idea of a welcoming party though. I wish I had thought of it. You could have one and then if folks ask you what you want you can let them know.

Curious to see what other folks say about it.



answers from Philadelphia on

To have a shower for yourself is tacky in itself-- it basically says "I want presents." And to have it for your second is even worse.

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