Should We Have Another Baby? - Sweet Water,AL

Updated on September 14, 2010
C.M. asks from Sweet Water, AL
13 answers

I am a mother of a 2 year old little girl and my husband wants a son so bad. I would love another baby but I am obese. Should we try to have another one? I don't know what to do.

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So What Happened?

S.H/ from honolulu, i appreciate your feedback but you took what i said out of context. just bc someone hopes for a certain gender, doesnt mean that they would love whatever they got. every man wants a son, but my hubby would be happy with either gender. all we ever want is healthy children!!!

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answers from Pittsburgh on

IMO, not a good reason to have a baby...just b/c he wants a son. When he wants a "baby" then yes, go for it.

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from Houston on

Hey you know weight watchers has a program you can get on while pregnant. You can gain like 10-15lbs and have a very healthy baby and have it all off after delivery. The main thing is to watch your sugar during pregnancy so you don't have the whole gestational diabetes issue. If you want to, think you can handle the extra effort, go for it! I mean there will be time to focus on weight loss after the baby and if you don't gain a bunch while pregnant you will be fine!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

Have you always had issues with weight? What is it about your obesity that makes you hesitate on another baby? The weight gain, health risks, doc told you not to, fertility issues, etc? Can you try to lose weight first and then conceive? What a great reward for achieving your weight loss goal!! Pregnancy weight is much easier to get off too, so if you lose some weight and then conceive, you should have an easier time losing the baby weight.

You only have a certain window to have babies, and if your weight is your only concern (not money, house size, etc) then I say lose some weight first and go for it! (If you can and can be healthy in the process of course).

Best wishes to you and your family!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,

I am also obese and I have one child. I will probably have another one in the next 2 or 3 years. So, upfront I will say that yes, I realize there are health concerns.... whatever. And yes, in an ideal world we would all weigh 125 pounds. But we don't.

I would have these questions for you:
1. Do you have OTHER health concerns (heart problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, kidney issues) that might pose a direct threat to YOU or the baby?
2. Do you have an eating disorder like binge eating?
3. Are you so obese that you are not ovulating regularly or having regular periods? If you are more than 200 lbs overweight your cycle can be affected. Chlomid may or may not work in obese patients.
4. Do you currently monitor you appetite with diet pills? You absolutely can't take any of these while pregnant.

If the answer to these questions is NO - then I would find an OB/GYN who has obese patients and isn't condescending. I had to switch Dr's after my 2nd appointment when he told me to stop eating cake. (let me tell you that I NEVER eat sweets and I walk on the treadmill 30 minutes 4x each week).

Your Dr. will probably monitor your food intake and blood sugar more closely than if you weren't obese, but other than that I'm not sure that obesity is a risk to the fetus/baby any more than if you were within your BMI range. Your heart will have to work a bit harder, but if your heart is in OK shape now, then you should be OK.

I actually LOST weight while pregnant until my third trimester (and I was on a closely monitored diet where I wrote down everything I ate, which was basically what I have always eaten). My new Dr said - 'you finally have a metabolism, thanks to your baby'!!!!! Of course, I "lost" my metabolism when my daughter was born!!!!!

I don't think that being obese is a reason for you NOT to have a baby. I do think that it's a good idea to look realistically at why you are obese so that you don't instill bad habits with your children. They do what you do. They become what you are. They look to you to know how to make decisions. So, it becomes important (for ANYONE having children) to change your lifestyle if needed so that you can teach good behaviors to your kids.

Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Listen to yourself. If you have to ask us, then you know the answer... You need to think of your health. Your weight will only get worse by getting pregnant now... DO NOT listen to that person who suggested you go on a diet while pregnant, it's just crazy... I was overweight when I got pregnant with my 2nd and now my BMI is clearly at a dangerous level. Had I known, I would gain so much weight during my pregnancy, I wouldve made the effort to loose SOME or get active before going for #2...

I wish you luck, and all the best!


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Sherman on

do what makes you feel right no one has to carry or care for the baby but you and ur family and as long as ur DR says ur healthy enough to get pregnant i say go for it ..if u feel u need to lose weight and its ur choice not some one telling u too then do it after the baby gets here work out by doing stuff with the baby mommy and me time... i think too much pressure is put on people about there weight not everyone is the same size.. i think ur husband and you will be happy with whatever gender u get..


answers from Seattle on

I say have the baby...then try to loose some weight, if that is what you want!

Were you told that you shouldn't have another baby because of your weight? If so, by whom? and Why?



answers from Portland on

I have no hard answers for you, C., but you might want to take the latest science into consideration. There are potential effects on a fetus or young child of maternal obesity, including increased risk of certain birth defects, childhood obesity, changes in metabolism, type 2 diabetes, high blood fats and cardiovascular abnormalities, and if the mother's diet is rich in fats and sugars, the child could actually be born with a preference for junk foods and a predisposition to adult obesity.

Plus there are increased risks to the pregnant woman, which you are probably more familiar with. You can research all this as you contemplate your future choices by googling "maternal obesity, effects on children" for quite a list of links.



answers from Lincoln on

If you both want another baby (which is sounds like you do) then go for it! Don't let your obesity take over your life. You can have another very healthy baby and care for it. I'm considered obese myself, and I have 5. Start trying to eat healthier so you can give the next baby the best chance possible. Try cutting out chemicals from your diet (aspartame, Monosodium Glutamate, High Fructose Corn syrup) as these are very unhealthy and also cause you to want to eat more.
Have fun trying for #2!


answers from Dallas on

I think you should go for it. When you do get pregnant watch what you eat. I was probably about 30 overweight (already on the high side of my weight class) when I was pregnant with my last, I only gain 6 pounds during my whole pregnancy. For some reason when I am pregnant I eat so much better and crave healthy foods, plus I stop drinking soda. Then I had 8 lbs 15 oz baby boy, and within two weeks after delivering him I lost another 20 lbs. (since then I have gained it all back and then some but that's another story)
My OB wasn't too concern when I was pregnant, my diabetes test came back negative.
You could make small changes right now before you get pregnant, that could help get pregnant too. Start walking a little more, eat better, but just do a little at a time so you aren't stressed out about losing weight in order to get pregnant. Have fun getting pregnant....
Good Luck!



answers from Los Angeles on

If you really want another baby, try to spend the next 6-12 months working hard to lose some weight and get in better shape. Work with your OB and any other doctors you see to structure a healthy program involving diet and exercise. Consult with a nutritionist to make sure you're making good food choices. See how things go and down the line, maybe your body will be ready for another baby. You will also feel a lot better and be a healthier mom to your little girl.
Good luck!



answers from Biloxi on

I had two normal pregnancies and two difficult deliveries (which had nothing to do with weight) while obese. My first pregnancy, I only gained 7 pounds and during my second (I was actually much heavier at that time than the first), I actually lost about 30 pounds--not intentionally, just happened. My husband was deployed, I had kidney stones, lots of stress. My doctors were thrilled. Since giving birth to my second child 18 months ago, I have lost over 100 pounds. I did not have any comorbidities at any point and I never developed gestational diabetes. I grew irritated after the third time they checked for it during my second pregnancy, but had to remind myself that they were only doing this for the baby. I think that everyone is different and many people, including doctors, don't take the time to think about that. What may be a healthy weight for one person is not for another and there are relatively healthy obese people, although in the long run, one must admit that being obese WILL eventually cause health problems. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!



answers from Honolulu on

Adding this:
Hi, I meant no offense in my reply. I'm sorry if it sounded that way.
It is just that, through personal things in my life and seeing other families... sometimes the Dad, would not feel 'happy' about having the gender they got, when they wanted something else.
I did not mean to take your post out of context.
But just added another thought process to it.
Since I have seen this happen....

Will your Husband want another baby... no matter what the gender is??? What if it is another girl?
Can he handle that?
Or will he not 'like' the girl if it turns out he has another one....
To me, you and Hubby NEED to discuss this... and what HIS feelings will be on it, IF he has another girl.
You cannot predict having a boy.
To me, you both need to know his feelings on it... because a child, needs to be 'liked' regardless of their gender....
Is he fine with having a girl now???

What if you have another girl... and then she finds out that your Husband wanted a boy, actually.

Next, you need to know your health and per having another baby.... or, try to lose weight before trying to have another baby.
Also discuss it with your OB/GYN....

To me, the 'issue' is that your Husband "wants a son so bad...." as you said... but what if the baby is not a 'boy' but a girl???

all the best,

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