Should We Have a Third? - Orrington,ME

Updated on December 07, 2007
T.W. asks from Orrington, ME
16 answers

Hello,
I have recently been thinking alot about having another child. I already have 2 children, a boy and a girl. My husband and I own our own buisness and it is very successful and just bought a house a couple months ago. We financially are able to support another child but my concern is I am 26 and my husband is 45. Should I not have another with his age? I am still young, young enough to have another and we have talked about it in the past. Is having three children so much harder then two? I would really like to have some opinions on what all you would suggest.

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone that responded to my question about having a third child. The advice really helped with the age issue. My husband and I have talked about it (in the past also) and we are currently trying for our third! I will keep everyone posted:)
thank you!

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C.O.

answers from Boston on

right now it probably won't be that much, but once you start school with the oldest, 5 days a week, the mornings are a bit crazy. Getting 3 kids dressed and ready, especially in the cold weather can really be a challenge. Plus, going places without a double stroller, is very difficult. Trying to keep track of 2 that are running in opposite directions while you try to manuver the carriage can be metnally trying to say the least. However, if you really want a third absolutely GO FOR IT. There is nothing so negative about having 3 that I would ever tell someone not to do it. I have three and love it, even though it can be crazy, and am considering a 4th. Good luck!!!

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K.H.

answers from Boston on

Going from 1 to 2 is hard but going from 2 to 3 ---is pretty easy. by the time you have 3 you are an old pro at parenting, its not like it was the frist or second time.
i say go for it and good luck to you!!!!!!!!!

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J.W.

answers from Boston on

Age really shouldn't be a factor. If you have the love, and want of another child do it. Children are a miricle. I love having three kids, better than two. Things are just very different with three. Everyone doing something different, enjoying one another. For them they always have a playmate wether they are fighting with someone else. I love it. If you are really considering it, just do it. You the Mom are the one who does a lot of the care for the kids. Not that Dad doesn't help out, just that's a Mom thing. I say if age really is your only concern do it sooner than later. You don't want to wait and regret the child you could have, would have, should have had. If you are always going to wonder later in life about a new baby..nows the time.
Have fun. If you get another great. If not have fun trying anyway.

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A.L.

answers from Providence on

Hi T.

Don't worry about your husband's age. Assuming he's in good health, he's not too old to be a new daddy. My daughter will be 1 in january. My husband will be 47 in December. In my opinion, it's made him much younger!!! As to the 3 vs 2 question, I only have one so I can't help out too much there, but my BFF has twin girls that are one week younger than my daughter. They represent numbers 3 and 4. She definately finds it to be trying at times but well worth it. She offers to watch my daughter all the time saying what's one more lol. So I think you'll be able to happily adjust to having a 3rd child.

Best of luck to you.
A.

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K.W.

answers from Boston on

Hello T.,

I say go for it....You are financially able to support more kids....go for it.

Its NOT any harder, depending on the children, to have one or 3, 5 or whatever....All kids act different and No matter what....All kids will have their good days and bad.

I have 3 Daughters and It is awesome being a mom to 3 beautiful Daughters....the only sad part about being a mom, they Grow Up way too fast lol

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K.H.

answers from Boston on

T.,

I only have one child so I can't speak to how much work a third would be. I can speak to the age issue though - As long as your husband is healthy and active he's not too old. I had my son at 39 and might have another child in the next few years. My dad worries that I'll have to work forever to save for retirement and put my kids through college but I'm a planner so I've been saving and I'm confident that we'll be fine. I'd say go for it!
40 is the new 30 :)

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A.G.

answers from Barnstable on

Do it T. ... there is 18 years gap between my husband and I. I waited too long, now wish I had had another. So my advice is go for it!

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H.P.

answers from Boston on

Our third has been a real joy. He was a surprise, arriving 5 years after our second child. He is just the greatest and we cant imagine life without him. It has not been difficult having a third (Although your other two are little). I was 35 when he was born so I was concerned about the age, but people are living longer healthier lives. If you want another I'd say go for it.

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K.F.

answers from Boston on

How does your husband feel about having another child? Is he concerned about his age? I think how he feels about it is more important than his actual age. I have a friend whose marriage was severely tested when she unexpectedly got pregnant with her third child (she wanted another and he didn't). If your husband is in favor of having another child, then I don't think his age is that big of an issue.

As far as going from two to three, I've heard different opinions. I had one person say it was very hard because then the kids outnumber the parents. Another person told me it was hard because she experienced conflict trying to juggle a baby's needs with her oldest child's activities (I think her oldest is five or six). But another friend said it was easier because with the third baby she knew enough to not try to be supermom anymore.

I only have two so I can't give you a personal take on how it is to have three. (I'm debating the issue myself!)

Good luck with whatever you decide!
K.

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N.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi T., go for it! We have three boys, 2, 4,and 6. I tell everyone- with our first, Evan, I was a nervous wreck. It was really hard for me to enjoy evan because everything was so new to me. When Reece was born, I had a hard time trying to split up my time for both of them, and I felt guilty for a while. When Braden was born, we call him the gravy baby, because he brings all of us so much joy, the guys all play (and fight, and make up) together and it's great. Things are definately a little more crazy, but it really is the best. Go with how you feel. If you feel like not everyone is home yet, go for the third. You won't regret it!! Hope this helps. --N.

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B.L.

answers from Boston on

I can tell you from my own experience I have two 4 year olds and a six year old I am 45 years old and my Husband will be 51 soon and it's the best decision we ever made every day is an adventure and it keeps us young. If you are financially able then I say go for it and good luck.

B.

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M.A.

answers from Bangor on

Since your two children are already young, I say go for it..

Good luck

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R.M.

answers from Hartford on

We've also been pondering the question about the third child. My first two are so far apart (9 1/2 years) that we'd like the baby to have someone to grow up with. They say that its easier to go from 2 to 3 than it is to go from 1 to 2...
Congrats on having the financial capabilities!! That's the major thing holding us back! :-)

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S.W.

answers from Boston on

I have 3 children 6, 4, and 2. The biggest change was going from 1 to 2 kids, the 3rd is not much harder. I was so overwhelmed when I had my 2nd, my 3rd was a breeze.

Good Luck!

Sam
Mother of 3 Devin-6, Donovan-4, Mya-2

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Obviously this is a very personal matter, but I just had my third baby and do not find 3 to be that much harder than 2. I have a 4 yr old and a 2 1/2 year old (and a 3 mo old... all girls). The older two are high maintenance, but that has not too much to do with the baby. The baby is sweet and quiet and mostly just eats and sleeps! So I have found the adjustment from 2 to 3 to be pretty ok! It is BUSY, and not easy, but ok. As for your husbands age, I don't think that matters at all, unless HE is uncomfortable with it. Good luck!

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T.L.

answers from Portland on

My husband is 16 years older than I am and I always wanted a large family. He thought it would be nice too, and we now have 10 children. He is now 60 and our youngest is 3 years old. He says he wouldn't change a thing. He loves being a dad even at his age. In fact we are still hoping for at least one more baby!!

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