Should My Hubby Be Buying a Sports Car? What Would You Do?

welcome to mamapedia!!

You live in NYC and you want a car? WHY???

What do you mean by "sports car"?? My husband considers his CRV a "sports car" and it fits a family of 5. Are you talking a Corvette or a BMW 2-seater - what?

How can he get approval for a car loan if you guys are barely making it?

What do you mean "what should you do"? Are you his wife or his mother? If you're is wife - you are his partner and make decisions together. If you are his mother? then you tell him that's he can't do it.

WHY does he want a sports car?
WHERE is he going to drive this sports car?

So many unanswered questions.

Tell him he's not old enough for a mid life crisis yet.

I don't know your definition of a sports car. I've driven a sports/race car for years. It's a 2 seater very non practical for a family of 3.

However...... When my hubby bought this car for me, we were not living paycheck to paycheck and in debt to our eyeballs. If that had been the case, he never would have gifted me the car.

Based in what you say about your finances, you won't qualify for a loan, you're not financially stable, and not ready for this stage in your lives.

Major purchases in our household were always joint decisions and I feel they should be.

Your hubby needs a reality check. You both need better communication and learn about delayed gratification.

There's nothing wrong with a splurge like this IF and only IF it's a joint decision, you have no debt and you pay cash.

I think your husband's plan to get a sports car on a limited budget is a sign of a bigger problem: you two don't have a shared, clear financial plan as a couple. I would find a financial counselor, like a Dave Ramsey trained person, to help you define a clear budget and establish long term financial goals as a couple. Dave Ramsey is a financial guru of sorts that helps couples get their finances in order. He has a radio show, books, and does seminars designed to help couples make sound financial decisions.

Since your finances are such that he can't buy a car, just say, "that's a wonderful dream! It would be fun to have a sports car." Then repeat when he talks about a sports car. Lack of finances will solve the problem. Let him learn for himself. No need to take on this fight.

I would join Credit Karma or another free site to see your credit score. This will help you in deciding to get financial advice. If your husband manages or mismanaged your money, I suggest it's best for you to learn about your finances. Do not explore financial responsibility to badger your husband. Sounds like marriage counseling would also help.

He wants a sports car. Humor him. Sympathize with him. It's just a dream. A sense of humor will keep you out of fights.

Sit down with him with a sheet that has all your bills on it. All your income too. You basically need to make a spreadsheet that shows what you need to spend your money on. Make sure you do give him an allowance that is his money to spend. Give yourself one too. This can be saved or spent on bubble gum and neither one has to be accountable to anyone else for how they spent it. It is not part of ANY expense. Not for food, not for gasoline, not for coffee, and not for anything else. It's blow money.

I suggest you suggest to him that he put some of it in savings to save up for a sports car.

I'd also ask him how he plans to put car seats for the kids into that sports car and how he's going to feel when one of the kids pukes in it or has diarrhea in the seat or spills milk, etc....

You explain to him why he can't have a sports car.

Wanting to buy a sports car is not the same thing as planning on buying sports car. I want a personal trainer, but I'm not shopping for one! If he wants a sports car, then use it as a catalyst to figure out how to buy one in the future after you've reached certain other goals. One of my goals in 6 months in Europe...after the kid is out of college... it gives me a dream and something to work towards.

If the sports car doesn't fit 2 kids and carseats and a big bag of snacks, no. If it has a payment, no.

What you should do is have a sit-down with him, if he'll listen. Lay out your budget with income, outgo, and a fund for contingencies (medical emergencies, a blown furnace, increased real estate taxes, whatever). See where you can cut (buying clothes for the kids at a resale shop, for example, but also cutting hubby's and your own expenses for things like beer and cigarettes or lottery tickets or clothes you don't really need). Factor in gas for a sports car.

If he won't listen, get a counselor to figure out why you have a non-partnering marriage. Figure out why he wants a sports car - is he immature, is he overwhelmed with having 2 kids and all those "grownup" responsibilities, did he skip his 20s and need to have "play time" with a car? If you don't have a financial planner and accountant, get one. If this doesn't work, you may need an attorney.

Good luck.

will the car accommodate the whole family? Are you complaining bcuz it has only 2 doors, compromising easy access to kids/carseats?
just curious, bcuz my best friend said my Buick LaCrosse looks like a sports car. 4 doors, weighs a ton....& she thinks it's a sports car. lol

Does he just dream of getting a sports car in the future?
Or is there a fair chance he will come home with a car and a loan one day?

My husband is the first type. He would like a sports car, but that isn't practical right now when we are raising kids. He knows that, he is aware of our financial status and household priorities. There is no harm in seeing a cool car and having a drool over hypothetical scenarios.

If your husband is like mine, don't let it bother you. Having a dream for the future is a good thing. Share it with him by talking about the road trips you will take together when the children are grown.

My stepfather was the second type. He knew there were bills to pay but didn't care. He wanted what he wanted. Mom used a joint savings account mom to put aside property tax money. He drained it to use as a downpayment on a boat. A lein was put on the house because the tax bill couldn't be paid on time.

When mom opened a new account in her name only, he ranted and raved about how she doesn't trust him and that isn't how marriage works. That was the only time she did something to stand up for herself. It wasn't the first or last time he put them into financial peril. Bankruptcy was filed at least once during their marriage. She never was emotionally strong enough to leave him. Long story short; she is now alone, disabled, and broke with no chance to recover financially.

If your husband is like my stepfather, you need to start making plans now to financially protect yourself and your assets, whether or not you stay married. You need to have money of your own that is untouchable, and the emotional fortitude to stand your ground for your own protection.

Is her serious, or just dreaming? If he's serious, ask him why a sports car is so important to him. It sounds like you aren't at all on the same page in regards to your family and financial goals. That sounds like a really stressful and unhappy place to be. Ask yourself what you want for your family and from your marriage partnership. Would he be willing to try marriage counseling?

i would tell him NO and the give a short lecture about prioritizing and budgeting.

Tell him if he gets the car he loses a wife and kids. Can you go live with family if he continues with this ridiculousness?

Could you define sports car? Seems to me if you can't afford finishing your house ain't much of sports car he is planning on buying.