Should I Try Breastfeeding Again?

Updated on June 21, 2011
K.C. asks from Waldorf, MD
37 answers

To tell you the truth my first experience really discouraged the heck out of me. I just feel that if emotionally I was supported and ready for it. I would have stuck with it. But I was a first time young mom. So now I have another baby on the way. I know I should get more educated on it. When I let something defeat me. I want to get another go at it. Now I'm on the fence. What are some thoughts? Some of the problems I had was I didn't go home I stayed at my boyfriend's house; so I was real tense and uncomfy. My breast got engorged and didn't have a clue on what I was doing. And after awhile I ended up changing my mind and certain ppl made me feel guilty of my choice.

What can I do next?

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Try again...what's the harm?

BUT know that if you need to stop, it's OK.

Formula is NOT poison. And a happy mom=a happy baby!

4 moms found this helpful
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R.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Definitely try again! I had a HORRIBLE time breastfeeding my son. But I kept telling myself that I would do it for one more day. Then one more day...then one more. We clicked when he was about 3 months old, and breastfeeding became WONDERFUL for the next 15 months!!

My biggest advice is to remember that the first few weeks of breastfeeding is NOT how it's always going to be. The first few weeks are almost always rough and difficult. I would give it atleast 8 weeks or so.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.J.

answers from Saginaw on

definately and go into it with great confidence, I failed miserably with my first but I was all for it again and succeeded!

Oh and going to a class helped out a ton!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Give it a try, but if it doesn't work don't beat yourself up about it or let anyone make you feel bad. There are tons of coaches at hospitals, classes and breastfeeding support groups you could take part in if you want.

2 moms found this helpful
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H.L.

answers from Cleveland on

If you decide that you want to breastfeed, then unless there is a true physical problem, you will breastfeed. Your mental decision is the most important barrier. Like you, with my first, I had little support, waivered, and after a month, did formula. Personally, I regretted it and still do. So as others have said, get support from others. With my second, I'd already found a wonderful playgroup and most of the moms nursed, thus I became very comfortable with it. With him, I nursed 16 months until he self-weaned. Currently with my third, we are at 11 months and she shows no signs of stopping soon. Nursing has so many, many benefits; nutritional for baby, emotional for both of you, physical for both, financial. And if you need to pump for work, yes you can. I love my Medela Freestyle and used 2x/day at work.

Best of luck to you!

2 moms found this helpful

D.M.

answers from Rapid City on

I think it's worth a shot to try it again. If you need help there should be a LC at your hospital to help you, if you need online support there is a website on Facebook called "The leaky b@@B" It's a great page full of women that are Lc's, some are nurses, and nursing mom's that are willing to help you in any way that they can and if not, then they will try to direct you on where to get help. I love it! You will get engorged again in the beginning with the upcoming baby. It just happens. But if you abs feel like you can't do it after, at least you tried and no one should make you feel guilty for it. It can be hard for some women with the first few months!
Fyi: I know I am not most women but I had a epidural and besides one issue with getting my daughter to latch at first, I am still breastfeeding her at 21 months (and 16 wks pregnant at same time.) You can be successful at breastfeeding even if had epidural or c-section. Don't let people bring you down! Good luck and congrats on the upcoming baby!

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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

i definitly was better prepared the second time. i knew where i'd messed up the first go round and knew what to avoid or do differently. and just remember you don't have to souly breastfeed. you don't mention why you were unhappy with your previous experience so i'm guessing here. if you're way tired and can't function sleep is more important than a late night feeding. pump if you can or give a bottle of formula on those moments when you just don't have the energy to breastfeed. let daddy help at those times and you go back to sleep. your body won't make good breastmilk if you are stressed or too tired and haven't had time to eat yourself. you have to take care of youin order to take care of baby.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.L.

answers from Washington DC on

There isn't anything better that you could give your baby than your breastmilk and the colostrum in the beginning, even if you try and do it for 2 weeks. Your baby will still reap the benefits from it.

That said, breastfeeding is not an easy thing to do. You would think that it is instinctual, but both mom and baby have to both learn how to do it. I would recommend seeing the lactation consultants in the hospital when you give birth to help you. Or take a class on how to breastfeed. Your local La Leche League will also be helpful and you can find a support group through them as well.

Good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

Go for it! It was really tough and painful for me for 4 weeks, but then I figured out he wasn't latching right. We fixed that and it was smooth sailing from there. WAY cheaper than buying formula, too!

I'd definitely recommend a nursing class, and I remember reading a book called "So THAT's What They're For!" that was an enjoyable and informative read about breastfeeding. Actually, I was reading that after 4 weeks of nursing hell when I discovered the problem. Go figure!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Phoenix on

If there's anything to say about breastfeeding mamas, they're a super supportive group! I am still breastfeeding my 14 month old daughter and just love it. It has the potential to be an amazing experience for you and your baby, but you're right, you absolutely need support. Find a local group through La Leche League and they will help you out! Also, take a class! You'll not only learn some neat stuff, you'll also meet other women in the same boat! Good luck!

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R.K.

answers from San Francisco on

definitely. no doubt about it. it is the best for your baby and for your body (not just weight loss - big deal! - there's research out now showing that breastfeeding is protective against breast cancer). it can't hurt to TRY. and with support, most women can breastfeed. good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from New York on

In the lactation community we say, "every pregnancy is different, every baby is different, and so every breastfeeding experience is different."

Sure, why not make a go for it and try again? Always make sure that you have a lactation consultant that you can call in case of emergencies. Literally have the number on your fridge door or in your phone, just in case.

And then, RELAX! You don't have anything to prove here. Don't pressure yourself...if it works this time, yippee! And if it doesn't -- yippee! You will still have a beautiful baby and you will still be an awesome mom.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Totally go for it. BFing is natural, but not always easy. I would check with your OB and hospital to see if they have a BFing support group, or get a referral to a lactation consultant. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Absolutely try it again! Worst case scenerio it doesn't work and you go to formula again. The hospitals seem more supportive nowadays with helping out with breastfeeding. Remember it isn't easy when you first start. It may hurt for the first week or so. Make sure to see the lactation consultant before you leave the hospital to make for you baby is latching on right. And if you nipples get raw or sore ask for an Rx of APNO cream (All Pupose Nipple Ointment) and apply after every feeding. It really helped me.

Good luck and congrat on #2!!!

PS-I have heard La Leche League can be a great resource.

1 mom found this helpful

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

Definitely try again, but don't beat yourself up or feel ashamed if it doesn't work out. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi K.,

Congrats on your pregnancy! As many have said, every baby is different and your experiences before do not have to dictate what will happen this time around. If you're interested in taking free prenatal breastfeeding education classes and getting help after the baby is discharged home from a peer counselor and lactation consultant (all free services), check out the Children's National East of The River Lactation Support Center (www.ChildrensNational.org/LactationSupport or ###-###-####). You can even bring your family/significant other to the prenatal classes so they can learn how to support you in your decision. With a little help and encouragement while you're getting started, you can successfully breastfeed for as long as you want!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

you could try taking a class and see if it would be for you. I failed my first time, and I know when I have a second, I'm going to at least try, but not beat myself up as much as I did with the first if I fail.

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K.H.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi K.,

You have already gotten some great advice on here already but I wanted to share my experience. I have 3 children, 2 boys and a girl. I was 21 when I had my first and had decided to breastfed. My husband was supportive but the rest of my family was not sure what to do or how to help. My mom had never breastfed my brother and I and I was not close to my mother-in-law plus she lived across the country so that did not help and I had no friends that had experience. I had problems with my son nursing and keeping it down so I stoped and switched him to formula while still at the hospital. With my 2nd son I was 24 and was a little more determined to breastfeed. Everything started out good with him and then I had to go back to work so I started supplementing with formula. That was probably a bad idea cause at 4 months he did not want to breastfeed anymore and my supply was pretty much gone. When I had my daughter I was 29 and had a little more knowledge about breastfeeding and was a complete success with it. I bought myself a good electric pump so that I could pump and store for later uses especially when I had to return to work. I got some great advice and support from LLL. I had friends that has successfully breastfed their children that I could go to for support. I breastfed my daughter till she was almost 15 month old. I never had to supplement her with formula if she had to get a bottle it was a bottle of breastmilk. I was very lucky to have great support this time around from my friends, family and coworkers. I would absolutely give it a try with this child cause like everyone has said every child is different, and every experience is different as you can see from my expereince. Good Luck and if you have any questions or concerns don't be afraid to ask.

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A.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Yes you should. It's best for both of you. Studies have shown that every experience is different. Even if you had a hard time the first time you might not the second time. Also drugs during delivery or a csection can really hurt your chances of being successful.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

K.,

Go for it! Get a lactation consultant and have her help you get established and a good latch. You will do great! Breastfeeding is such a joyful, bonding experience and for you to be able to feed your baby all that he/she needs is amazing! Please don't give up, your baby will thank you!

M

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

Definitely give it a try again:) i had a very very hard time w my first who never latched right, even after lactation consultants, oral therapy work, etc. Pumped till I dried up at 4 mos...fast forward 17 mos when my 2nd was born and i took everything I learned from that first experience and books and videos I watched on nursing and successfully nursed my 2nd for 12 mos :) if you don't like it, you can always quit but if you don't try initially it isn't something you can decide to do when baby is 6 mos or something. With all the bad press formula has gotten in recent years with plastic pieces or bugs in it...might as well try! I am currently nursing my 3rd child-he is only 3 weeks right now. Days 4-8 were difficult with engorgement and sore nipples but all is great now!

Best wishes!

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C.T.

answers from New York on

K.-

I am so sorry that you had a bad experience BFing your little one. I am also sorry that people made you feel guilty about your decision (or the need) to stop. YOU ARE A GREAT MAMA!!

Now, BFing is not easy but it is doable, even if the first time was not so great. You should know that you are wonderful and just attempting to give your baby this gift shows that you have the best intentions at heart! Use this knowledge and be confident about your choice and about performing the "activity". BFing is beautiful. There will always be nay-sayers on both sides of the fence. Just stick to your guns and do what is right for you and your family.

As for the actual act of BFing, these are the things I have learned:

1) Be patient both with yourself and your little one. You need to learn from each other about how this relationship will go and you are each learning about your own bodies so go it slow.

2) Your milk will come in and it may take up to a week. With my last child (who is now 4 months old), it took a almost 7 days for my milk to show up. At the first doctors visit, the doctor was all fussy about how she had not gained her birth weight back and I was like, look, my milk hasn't come in yet. Give me and her the chance. She scheduled me for a follow-up wieght check (which cost me a co-pay! Ugh!) and said if she was not on track that we would need to "suppliment". In four days time, my little booger put on a whole pound! - all because my milk came in finally.

3) Doctors are quick to recommend "supplementing". I would avoid formula to the extent possible and fight this recommendation unless there is a true medical concern/issue. If your baby is wetting diapers and producing bowl movements then they are doing fine. I am not a numbers kind-of girl when it comes to growth. I worry more about happy and healthy.

4) Care for yourself and your breasts. Your mentioned engorgement the first time. This can be painful and if not releaved can lead to mastis. Your baby is the best at fixing this - nurse fully and often. After a feeding, if you are not sure if you are "empty", pump then freeze any extra. (I like the lansinoh breastmilk storage bags the best for this and if things do not go the way you want, then you'll have a little extra for use in a bottle later on.) Now, I have found with each of my children that when I first start nursing, I will have one breast that gets a clogged duct - I let my husband rub it out as I can't - it hurts too much. If you want more details about this, let me know. But don't let any sore spots remain sore - work the ducts - nursing, pumping, taking hot showers and getting massages to get and keep the milk flowing.

5) Invest in a good pump. This has been my life saver. Without my pump, I am sure my engorgements would have been much much worse as well as all that extra milk wasted.

6) Create your own special nursing nook. This may be in a couch corner in front of the tv or a rocking chair in a quiet place. Wherever you are comfortable so you can relax and focus just on your baby. I nurse in lots of places, but the one thing I always nurse with is my Breast Friend pillow. I prefer it over the boppy.

There is so much more I could go on and on about, but I think those are the highlights. I have not read the other posts, but the women on here are generally supportive and they love to talk about BFing. LOL.

I wish you the best of luck and remember you are a wonderful mama!
~C.

PS. Feel free to message me if you run into any obstacles or have more specific questions.

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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

You have my sympathy. I wanted to breastfeed so badly. And I foolishly thought that it would be a no brainer - I mean it's natures way and all. Well I tried to breastfeed, the lactation consultants tried to help me - my son simply did not want to breastfeed! I got so frustrated and that combined with being exhausted was too much. I gave up and ended up pumping my milk for almost 6 weeks and giving it to him in a bottle supplemented with formula. Definitely not what I would recommend if you can avoid it b/c it's exhausting - you are feeding or pumping around the clock! Anyhow, just wanted to tell you that I understand. I would seek out the help of some lactation consultants ahead of time. Tell them you had trouble in the past and ask for suggestions/help in preparing. Once the baby is here, try to RELAX and do your best. No one can ask for more than your best! No matter what, don't feel guilty if it doesn't work out. That guilt + post partum is NOT good for your or baby (trust me)!

A.C.

answers from Wichita on

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M.L.

answers from Chicago on

You have so many responses so I did not read them to see if this is a repeat. I promised that any breastfeeding help I could provide I would:
My first experience was horrible - felt totally rejected by my son and went through pumping and feeding - exhausting as every feeding I was up twice as long as necessary.....I pumped every couple of hours to keep up with supply. I stopped after 3 months. I was extremely anxious about it when I was pregnant the 2nd time....but, when they brought my daughter in my room (after recovery from c-section) - she nursed as though she'd been doing it forever! We had a great breastfeeding experience until about 9 months when we went through some 'issues.'

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D.G.

answers from Syracuse on

yep----if it works for you,great---if not, at least you tried------i thought it was the best--no bottles,formula and i was the one holding the baby---not trying to do whatever for people coming to 'help out' hope it works out for you.

Updated

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would try. You can't not try and 6 mo. later want to try so why not give it a go? Get informed, find an LC you like, and think positive.

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Yes! I'd give it another shot. My first daughter had a discoordinated suck which was very difficult to overcome and resulted in a nightmarish routine of nursing with a supplemental feeder attached to my breast while she nursed and lots of pumping to boost my milk supply. Breastfeeding was HARD and I'm even a midwife trained in how to teach breastfeeding. My second and third were boys and they were excellent breastfeeders which made it enjoyable and effortless. All babies are different and we learn a lot from past experiences. Please have a lactation consultant talk to you right away after delivery so that you can get help after you leave the hospital. Once you have established a working relationship with a lactation consultant while in the hospital, you can get help later without paying enormous hourly rates. I learned the hard way about this with my first child. Best wishes and congrats on your pregnancy!

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

I completely agree w/ Sitonme. :)
Confidence. It is absolutely key.
My first baby was not a great nurser-she loved it though. She was very small at birth and has my small mouth. She had an agonizing latch. BUT, despite that, I was confident in myself, my ability to feed my children, and was bound and determined to be successful.

I am also a cheapskate...and kinda lazy. I jokingly swear that if I had to make bottles for my kids they would have starved.

I also recommend getting connected to LLL, but they are not for everyone. They can be a little overwhelming at times. Worth checking out, but if they are not for you, don't let them cloud your ideas of BFing.

Best thing I did for myself was read this book: http://www.amazon.com/So-Thats-What-Theyre-Breastfeeding/...

Super funny, easy to read, and lays a great foundation of knowledge and understanding. Read it before baby arrives!

And BTW, with my 2nd...what a difference! Such a better nurser. :)

Best wishes and congrats on the new baby!

L.M.

answers from New York on

You got great answers, I totally agree. Every baby is different, definitely try again if you want to. I am breastfeeding my third child. I did combo breast and bottle with #1 and #2 but with my third and last baby I have decided to go for the gusto with breastfeeding. Baby and I are loving it so far. I will say however I hate when people act like if you don't breastfeed you are a bad mom and that is NOT TRUE. Do what you are comfortable with. As long as your baby is healthy and happy and so are you, than you are doing the right thing. Have a great pregnancy! Good luck :-)

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My first baby and I had a difficult start to breastfeeding. She wouldn't latch on at all, I had to pump to get my milk supply up, and I remember crying so many times because I felt like such a failure. We went to a lactation consultant after about a week, and she gave a lot of great suggestions and help (in fact, she even got the baby to latch on and showed me how to do it). She was the reason I didn't give up completely, and we finally got the hang of it after 2 weeks of struggling. With my second baby, he latched on right away and we never had any problems (thank goodness!).

I think there's no harm in trying again, especially now that you realize that having support will help a lot. A lot of hospitals nowadays actually have a lactation consultant on staff to come and visit you while you're still in the hospital after you've delivered. See if your hospital has that service, because that could help a lot. Lactation consultants are really helpful in showing you exactly what to do when breastfeeding. Good luck, and congratulations on your baby!

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

K., I teach natural childbirth classes and am a doula; and you are in my general area. I read all the responses so far. You have gotten great encouragement. If you can get to The D.C. Breastfeeding Center on K st. NW that is a great place for support and instruction.
Also, the DC developing families center in NE DC has free lactation classes and offers lactation support even to those moms who do not birth with the midwives there. Mocha Moms has chapters in MD, and I think one is close to you. Lastly, please check out www.drjacknewman.com. It's a wonderful breastfeeding website with plenty of videos to show you good latches and how to trouble shoot. Make sure your pediatrician is breastfeeding friendly, and that you have picked a birthing place that gets it about breastfeeding.
I'm happy to help if you have any birth or breastfeeding related questions. Feel free to send me a note.

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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

You sound exactly like me. I had my first child at 19 and when I tried breastfeeding no one showed me the proper way. When I had problems my mom just said do it! There was never any support. I gave up pretty quickly and regret it til this day. When I had my son I was determined to do it and I succeeded! My advice is to at least do it for a couple of months. It's better for the baby, cheaper than formula, provides a bond that the bottle can't match, helps you lose a little baby weight and can keep your cycle away for a little while! My advice is to be adamant at the hospital about your desire to nurse and tell them they are NOT to give your baby a bottle. If they get the bottle first it makes it harder to get them to latch on, as the bottle is easier for them. They tried to argue with me about my son, saying he is really hungry and cause my milk was not fully in yet, he needed a bottle. I refused. My thinking is this; babies didn't starve to death 50yrs ago before there was formula, waiting for the mothers milk to fully come in and they wont now. God knew what he was doing when he made our bodies. Now my son did not take to the breast right away, but once he got good and hungry we made it work! I nursed for 11 months which is when he no longer wanted the breast. He never had a bottled and used a cup starting @ 5 months. Good Luck!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

Definitely try. If it doesn't work out the formula is always available.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Try taking a class at your hospital on breastfeeding. That should help you make up your mind. Take your baby's father with you, too. You will definitely need the support to be successful at it.

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V.M.

answers from Cleveland on

from what you said, it sounds like you should give it another go. If all that was stopping you was lack of support, I really think you are strong enough to try again.
And as you will soon find out, Every delivery, Every child is different and every breastfeeding experience is different.
your hospital should have some resources you can use to educate yourself.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

Try it again! Each baby/breastfeeding experience it very different. I don't have enough glandular tissue (one of the rare exceptions) and will never have a full milk supply. I BF our 1st for a year and supplemented with formula. With the help of a Lactation Consultant, I have doubled my supply with our 2nd (still have to supplement but not as much with formula). This go round has been so much easier. Give it a whirl and get some professional help. The 1st few weeks are critical to establishing a good milk supply and pattern of feeding. If it doesn't work out, there's always formula but you can at least say you tried. I'm so glad I stuck with BF and our baby rarely gets sick and is in daycare :)

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