Should I Stay Home with the Kids or Should I Go Back to Work?

Updated on March 02, 2009
T.R. asks from Montgomery, AL
9 answers

My husband and I have discussed my staying home with the kids, now that we have two, instead of returning to work. I do not want to place my children in daycare, but want to help our family financially. My only other option to not placing them in daycare is to work in the evening, but that would mean our health benefits and amount we save will change. We are not getting along that well these days and we have even discussed divorce before so I am not sure if I should quit my job at all, although things seem to be getting back the way they were between us.

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

Have you thought about selling avon or mary kay or premiere jewellry. You set your own hours, your earning potential is based on how much effort you put into selling and you still be at home with you kids and contributing to the family income.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.L.

answers from Huntsville on

T.,
I was on the "Mommy track" for 15 years before I went back to full time teaching. I was a high school English and Spanish teacher, so I know just how demanding it is to teach English. Your workload at home is tremendous if you really want your students to become good writers. When my youngest child was in pre-K, I finally went back to teaching, but have since retired to publish a magazine.
As a teacher you have many options open to you. During my years at home I did freelance writing, became an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, and enjoyed the time I had with each of my children. I don't regret the years I stayed home at all.
As far as your marriage goes, maybe it would be a good idea to talk with a pastor or marriage counselor.
Good luck. I will be praying for you!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Lubbock on

Hi T.,

Stay home with the children. I had the same option. I would never say something that bluntly if I didn't really believe it - I really think that it helps the whole family. It is hard to stay home, there is no doubt. It is constant all day with little ones (I have 2 1/2 year old twins), but the reward is so great. I promise. The "terrible two's" are not so terrible because you control everything and prepare both children for that independent time in their developmental stages. PLUS, your children are much calmer because they are with their mom all day long and both parents at night. Tension caused by children going crazy at night and acting out a lot from insecurity can create the discussion of divorce in any couple's marriage.

Now, daycare is a wonderful option if you have to do it. Children do fine in daycare, so nobody misunderstand me. If you are blessed and can be with your children that is great, but if you use daycare! I am only telling you the option of staying home with them because I think it will help in all other areas of your family. Last, you both need to talk more as being a stay at home mom is very tough mentally and you need someone to talk to at the end of the night...even if he answers with "uhhuh" it is better than not talking at all. :) I hope this makes sense. If you can stay home, try and work it out financially - I think children are the hugest gift from God and He will provide if you sacrifice for the Lord's gift to you (your two little ones).

It seems like a long time to stay at home and not work, but in about four years you will have the rest of your/babies lives to work. I never thought about that until I got half way to that point. So, it isn't like this forever.

I will definitely pray for you as you seem to be in the middle of a pretty tough time.

S. - stay at home mom after leaving a great career and do not regret it!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.P.

answers from Mobile on

My husband and I decided that I should stay home because the daycare bill would take too much of a percentage of my potential income. Plus, once you add in lunches and work clothes, it just didn't seem worth it to have someone else raising my children. So, I started a couple of home-based businesses that work around our family time. I love it!

If you are not the kind of person who can start a business from scratch, then check into all the Direct Sales Association members. Members have ready-made businesses where you pay for a kit to start and then book parties, etc. You can search their database by your interests at http://www.dsa.org/forms/CompanyFormPublicMembers/

I personally chose The Pampered Chef because I am passionate about cooking! Go with your passion to be truly successful.

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C.S.

answers from Boston on

I never used to have an issue with working full-time outside of the home until I was injured, became totaly disabled and unable to work outside the home. My husband understood how I felt and would always encourage me to find a work at home businesses but I was very skeptical of each one I looked into, fearing it would be a scam. I did try a couple but they weren’t for me so I gave up. Then one day, purely by chance, I read an ad by a woman who was able to become a stay at home mom because she found a home-based business that actually works! So I contacted her and got all the information and I was so impressed and excited that I got started that same day!

Finally!! A legitimate opportunity to work from home that is risk-free, scam-free, and there’s so much training and support available you can’t fail! Not unless you allow yourself to, of course.

Now I work from home and haven’t looked back since! If you are interested in this wonderful opportunity to be able to spend more time with your child(ren) and bring in some extra money each month, I would love to help you work towards that goal. To request more information click here www.momstakeaction.com and I will contact you myself. Rest assured, your request will only go to me and no one else.

C.,

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C.M.

answers from Montgomery on

T.,
If I were you I would find somone to either come to my home or take your children to thier home. Daycares are out of the question for me too. Not to mention they are very expensive! Any way I would hold onto that job until you are sure beyond a shadow of a doubt you won't need it. I think staying home with your children is very important but so is being able to support yourself should you geta divorce. Good luck!
C. M

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L.S.

answers from Louisville on

This is one of them situations that you and your husband need to make together. Go over the pro's and con's and see what is best for your family. Remeber, if you get divorced because of something you don't agree on then you will have to work and they will have to go to daycare. Where are you going to get the best benefit for the entire family?

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R.F.

answers from Louisville on

Have you thought about working from home? I have several friends that do medical transcription from home, you could check into that. Check your local paper - if you are interested in a job, call them and ask them if there is the option of doing the job at home. I did that a couple of years ago and it worked! I see that you are a teacher - what about doing tutoring after school in your home? Personally, I have never regretted being a SAHM. I have been both a working mom and a stay-at-home mom and I much prefer staying home. Ultimately, this is a decision that you and your husband need to come to together. I would suggest doing some number crunching and some really hard thinking. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for YOU. I apologize for my rambling response - I have a teething 10 month old and sleep is a very distant memory for me right now. Good luck and I will be praying for you and your husband (I've been there.)

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S.R.

answers from Hattiesburg on

I am really sorry about your situation. My husband and I had alot of bad things happen to us in the past year. And I felt like I needed to help with the income. So I researched and found and paid for three different scams. And we were already cramped for money. And then I found the mom team. I have a website if you're interested www.sarahs4sweetboys.com It is really awsome. I have four boys and homeschool and work from home! Goodluck

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