Should I Skip Her to 3Rd Grade?

Updated on September 18, 2010
S.G. asks from Tecumseh, OK
17 answers

ok so my daughter is 2nd grade, straight a student and almost 4th grade reading level. I've wanted to skip her grade level for a few years now to challege her more but the school shoves me out the window..

how can i go about getting her tested to AT LEAST put her in advance placement classes?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers



answers from Columbus on

If you have asked before, maybe they don't think that is the best thing for her. AP is for High School, and if a school has a gifted program they must test all the students who are old enough. Usually, these programs start around the 4th grade. It is really not a good idea to place them earlier, some children learn to read and write very quickly, and by the time that school changes to reading and writing to learn, in the 4th grade, the rest of the class has caught up to them and it all evens out. The demands of reading and writing to learn are very different.

Without a clear reason to skip, she could miss critical information that will leave holes in her learning, and beign two years ahead in reading is probably not enough to justify what she may lose.

If the school is not talking to you about this, I would drop it.


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Birmingham on

Have you spoken with the school guidance counseler? How has she tested on the standardized tests that all schools give? I would start with those scores and if they are really "off the board" (several grades ahead); then I woud request additional testing. She may not be ready to skip a grade. Reading on the 4th grade level is upper level for 2nd grade but not unusual. Don't rush her.

More Answers



answers from Tulsa on

I was a teacher for 12 years. Only at a private school did they allow this One little boy was ahead in all areas due to his intelligence and babysitter.
Teachers don't oppose this to hold your child back; They know it is not in the best interest of the child overall.

The principal at the private school allowed three children to skip ahead one year. It turned out to be a total disaster socially. The two girls later transferred to the correct grade in a different school, but the boy did not. As each year passed, the gap widened.

The bright, outgoing, funny, smart boy became so withdrawn and isolated he hated school. He was always smaller so he got hurt more as well.
The M. regretted it, but the damage was done.

I know two women who have sons academically ahead of the class who work with the child at home and one pays for a tutor every Friday who provides enrichment materials. Her son is successful and happy.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

does the school she is at have advanced classes.. if not find a school with advanced classes.. my daughter is top in her class.. but i've kept her at that level.. because i don't want her to be the youngest as she gets older... so she is tops in all excellerated classes and she also tuturs other kids .. she is 11... don't push her ahead... keep her where she is but find excellerated classes or after school.. some colleges actually have sat classes for youngsters.... check your out.. she can tutor ...

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

I would think long and hard before I moved my child up a grade. There are social considerations to make, not just for now... but say, when she is 14. All her friends (15 yrs old) are dating... are you going to let her? She's going to want to date someone the next grade (or 2 grades) up at some point... that'd be 2 or 3 yrs not 1 or 2.

Ask the front office at her school, and her teacher if they don't give you what you need, for paperwork to request application to the gifted/talented program. Our school doesn't have AP classes until 6th grade. But gifted and talented starts WAY before that. Usually they must be referred to the program by 2 sources (1 teacher and 1 para, 1 teacher and a parent, a parent and test scores, etc). Also, our school requires that a student be in a teacher's class for like 6 weeks or something before the teacher is allowed to refer the child. (For adequate observation I guess).

In the meantime, challenge her in other ways. Enroll her in a weekly music lesson (piano? guitar? violin?), or a martial arts program (year round, not seasonal like soccer and it involves more than physical activity), or find a way for her to study a foreign language or take a weekly art class (not playtime, but an actual art CLASS where they learn ABOUT art and also do art).

Added later:
I went back and looked at my daughter's test scores from when she was younger. Her 1st grade scores (done in early April of her 1st grade year), showed her at grade 3.9 in one area, but her end of the 2nd grade SAT testing (also done in April) showed her reading skills(broken down in different categories) as grades 11.9 and PH (post high school). Maybe she didn't test well in 1st grade. Maybe she got lucky in 2nd grade. Maybe both. Who knows? What I do know is that she was later tested for gifted/talented and they admitted her immediately, and that either way, she is not emotionally/developmentally ready to spend all her time with kids older than herself. She needs her emotional peers as well as intellectual peers. And she has intellectual peers via the gifted/talented program, older brother and family and friends outside of school.

Her present teacher (4th grade this year) works very hard to continue challenging the students in her class that are able to move ahead and not keep the whole class waiting to learn new concepts in math because of a few students who need more help. She really tries to cater to students' needs.. not ease of work for herself. Some teachers are not able to accomplish this, others aren't motivated to do so, but some of them can and do. Just know that less than 2 years "ahead" of the norm language skills does NOT mean that she needs to be moved up in grade. A LOT of kids are ahead of the norm. Just like a few are behind the norm. The norm is formed from a compilation of scores, like a bell curve. MOST kids will fall somewhere close to actual grade when tested... 2.1 if tested the first month of school in 2nd grade, for ex. If she were reading at grade 6 then that is a much more dramatic difference. 3.9 is wonderful, but doesn't necessarily demonstrate a need for her to be challenged beyond the rest of her class.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on


What do you mean "the school shoves me out the window"?

Does this mean they don't agree with you?

I would advise you let your child be a child and stay in her own age group for now. If she is indeed that gifted, she will continue to excel in middle and high school. Many young children are able to excel academically, but their muturity and social skills are lacking and can possibly do more harm then good in the long run.


2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Does your daughter's school have a gifted and talented program? That would give her some of the challenge that you are looking for since the school does not appear open to advancing her to another grade. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

If she is only reading at a 4th grade level it really isn't enough to have her skipped. Talk to the school about having her tested for the gifted class, most do it anyway in 2nd or 3rd grade.
I think by Advanced Placement classes you are referring to the gifted program at your school. AP classes are actual high school courses.
I did skip one of mine, but she read at the 6th grade level in Kinder and by the end of 1st was at a post high school comprehension level in reading. She was also doing complicated 5th grade math in first, multiplying dividing fractions, simple algebra. . She was terribly bored in first grade.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Most schools have a Gifted program that starts around 3rd grade. I wouldn't skip her ahead because of what you described. Just because she isn't currently being challenged academically means that she will fit into a 3rd grade class socially. Especially when the school year has already begun and she'll be the youngest in the class, and she'll have to explain why she is 8 and in a class of 9-10y.

I would leave her where she is for now.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Mobile on

Hi S.,

I'm not sure about OK, but in most places anyone (including a parent) can make a referral for evaluation for giftedness--it might even be a part of No Child Left Behind, but I'm not sure anymore. I'm not sure I'd skip a kid ahead a grade just because she's reading one grade level above her current placement. If your elementary school has advanced placement classes, I'm pretty impressed, and I'd go for that!

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Antonio on

My oldest son read at a 6th grade reading level when he was in second grade and even the 3rd grade & 4th grade math was easy. We did not move him ahead a grade. We challenged him with additional things at home, CD's books, computer software, experiments.... and the teachers gave him additional materials in school.

It was better for him socially to stay with his friends. Kids who get moved ahead a grade are not treated kindly by their peers. Middle school girls can be very mean and her being smaller and less developed in middle school might be very hard on her.

In high school, the other kids will be dating AND DRIVING and you will have those issues to face. She'd be 13 in freshman yr. Her classmates will be driving end of sophomore/ junior year and she won't be driving until close to her Senior year, if she moves ahead. And at that point, she will be turning to them (not you) for rides. There is a lot of stuff in cars that COULD happen and to be mentally strong and assertive is important.

In middle school, the classes will get much harder and there will be opportunities for Honors classes, pre-AP stuff later.

I also do not understand the "shove me out the window"
I can tell you from being a parent of school kids for 15 years that approaching admin. with a cooperative attitude and with facts, not emotions, is a good way to begin working with teachers and principals. If you enter discussions with hostility, i.e: prepared to be brushed aside, you will get no where. Just a suggestion. Your question sounds emotional, and I wonder if that occurs in your dealings with the school.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

I really don't think that's enough of a reason for skipping. There are going to be a lot of straight A students, probably most of them at or even above your daughter's reading level. (In elementary school I got special permission to check books out of the adult/teacher's section because that's where my reading level was). There's more than just academics. There's the psychological and emotional factor. That age and maturity gap is only going to get larger - do you really want your daughter as a freshman in high school, aged even one year younger, possibly dating 17 and 18 year old boys (I knew many freshman who dated junior/seniors)?

I think it would be more beneficial to get into the gifted program or advanced placement/honors classes.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Sacramento on

I was a teacher (1st and 3rd) for 10 years and now stay home with my 3 kids. As others have mentioned, you really need to think about the social/emotional issues that come along with skipping ahead. It is great that your daughter is reading above grade level (reading is the best gift you can give a is the foundation for learning), but before you think of skipping her ahead (and I'm not really sure many schools would let you do it) you may want to think about how to challenge/enrich her in other ways.

In my experience, the gap between the high and the low students gets smaller as kids get older. By 4th and 5th grade the difference between the high readers and low readers is much narrower then in the lower grades. My twins are in 1st grade and were both reading at the 4th grade level in kinder...they were just early readers...taught wasn't anything I did. Yes, they are bright, but they are also only 6 years old. I want them to be a 6 year old and most importantly enjoy and love school. There will be a time when the academics get more challenging for them and I know they will have the foundation to take on that challenge.

Check into your district and see if they have any gifted programs...not all do. Many will do some sort of testing. I do believe though that to be considered "gifted" you would need to be more then 2 years above grade level.

Unfortunately my school district doesn't have anything for gifted until they are in middle school. With all the funding being cut in schools, the gifted programs are often cut. So I do what I kids read all the time, love to pretend play, make posters and write stories. I also try to keep them involved in sports and this summer they did an art camp.

Good luck and most importantly enjoy the age your daughter is will go so fast!! There will be plenty of time for challenging academics in the future.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

Congratulations on having a gifted child. Hever I do not think you will find any help in public education, and probably in private education.
It is a shame as I always felt that a child should be promoted by each subject and not by grade!
She may be in 2nd grade level for math, but 4th grade level for english! So it you put her in 4th grade you have to worry what she will do in math!
I am sure you get my drift.
The real sad part about public education is that from year to year is that a child has to wait for the class to catch up, or others have to wait for others to catch up! Tfore if one is with the proper credentials I would think this is where home schooling is best. Now if you have the credentials you have to weigh being a at home mom or a working mon?
Many students need that little lift to get them over the hump and it is not done. A parent should be called in immediately and be advised that a child is having a problem with a subject. They could be advised that they are therefore holding the child after school for special tutoring and that the parent will have to make arrangements to pick up the child or that the child have to walk home!
Good Luck God Bless



answers from Birmingham on

Just because she is academically advanced does not warrant a higher grade. If the school doesn't have a program for advanced children, find some classes outside of school. Children in older grades are obviously older in years and this makes a HUGE difference in middle and high school. Our son was/is very smart (pre-med in college now) so we've been there with an outstanding student wondering what to do. The school had wonderful programs for him and others in his same circumstance that challenged him but at the same time allowing him to socialize with kids who were the same age. My mother was double promoted and said it was the worst thing when she got to high school. Even though she remained straight A's, she often felt awkward in some of their conversations and looked like a runt next to them. Being under-developed as a younger girl was also awkward when having to dress out in gym (middle/high school). You can challenge her mentally with lots of programs ... the school system knows what's best in this case.



answers from Tulsa on

She won't be the same age as the kids she'd be in class with so I would talk to the Administration Department of your school district and find out about gifted classes.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions