Should I Move My 3 Month Old Back to My Room? Transitioning Is Not Going Well

Updated on February 06, 2019
J.L. asks from Albion, RI
15 answers

This weekend we tried transitioning our baby girl to her room by moving her bassinet in the room before moving her to the crib. Since the move, she wakes up multiple times when first going down and will then will sleep 4-5 hours when she needs to eat. After she eats she will wake up crying every hour until she is up for the day. One day she was up at 530am.

I finally put her in bed with me where she slept 2 straight hours (waking up at 8am)

Any suggestions on how to get her to sleep again in her own room? Should we move her back into our room whwn she is a few months older? She was sleeping 10-11 hours with 1 or 2 wake up to eat when she was sleeping in her bassinet in our room.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Start with having her nap in her room to get used to the new environment. Then transition to nights, once the days are going well.

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R.D.

answers from New York on

I worried so much about my first daughter’s sleep habits. Maybe too much. I thought it was important to get her in a routine and sleeping on her own. I reflect now on the unnecessary expectations I had of her and myself. I tried every piece of advice, every trick. Nothing worked. She hated her crib. Barely took a nap during the day unless I held her or lay down with her. By 12 months I was emotionally and physically drained. So I started her out in the crib each night already asleep and when she woke a few hours later I would allow her to sleep with me because I was sleep-deprived and worthless. By age 2 and a half she was ready for a twin bed with a side rail and slept beautifully. She’s 24 now and smart, independent, responsible, agreeable, thoughtful and social.
My second child is five years younger. I went with the flow. She was a great sleeper at night— In the bassinet, then the crib— and took wonderful naps during the day. She is 19 now and still knows her limits and goes to bed earlier than most teens. She’s smart, independent, strong-willled, braver, but a little
more introverted socially.
I’m telling you about their outcomes to illustrate that there’s not one perfect way to parent every child. You have to parent to their individual needs.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

So you moved the bassinet to her room is that correct? and sleeping in bassinet.

When I transitioned my babies to their rooms, I slept in their rooms for a few nights. I know that sounds weird, but they did better if I did that. I didn't do it with my first, and he was the worst sleeper. My others all adjusted better. It was worth it. I just got up and shhh'd them and that's all it took. If I had to feed them (mine were breastfed) I just brought them to me, fed, and it was quickly back to bed. It was almost as simple as when in my room.

My youngest co-slept with me, and it was easiest for her. In fact, she was older, and she just had to look down at me (peered over side of crib) and was comforted seeing me there. I only stayed a few nights and then she was sleeping through. Once that happened, I went back to my own bed.

When you feed her, are you doing it in her room or bringing her back to your room? Try to keep it as quick and as simple as it was in your room. My first born, I made quite a production of it. So he kind of woke up. With my others, I kept it basic and minimal. They didn't really wake up. It was all it the dark and I got them back in their cribs as fast as possible, keeping them as warm as possible.

She'll adjust. This is normal - they all go through this when you change up their routine. Every time you do, this happens. She will recover and get back to a better sleep pattern. :)

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

She is young enough it shouldn't set you back to much if you decided to move her back to your room, but as she gets older she will start to learn that if she just fusses enough she will get you to give in to what she wants so be careful moving forward again. When she wakes crying is it hard crying or just fussing? How long do you wait before you go in to get her? I used to wait 5 minutes, no more or less (unless the crying was strong enough that it was more then just waking fussiness) and 99% of the time my boys went back to sleep on their own before 5 minutes was up. I also transition them to their own rooms at around 3 months.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i'm not sure i understand. you've moved the bassinet 'in the room', ie just changed its location? why?

this reads as if you've done two things this weekend- moved the bassinet then moved her into the crib. i'd stop making changes so rapidly.

and then you need to give them some time. it's sunday. so if you just instituted all the changes in the last day, you haven't given this any time to work at all.

was she sleeping with you before? if not, then you've actually introduced three new things in the space of 48 hours.

just breathe. you need to expect some fussiness when you change things. you haven't even begun to give your baby a chance to get used to it.

khairete
S.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

She's 3 months old.
You can expect that sleep patterns will be somewhat erratic for a few years yet.
Just when you get use to one pattern it all changes again.

If she's outgrowing her bassinet she needs to be in her crib.
Of course she likes sleeping with you - she'll always like that - but as she gets bigger it's going to be a problem and really a tiny infant sleeping with adults in an adult bed is not safe.
Until she's about a year old she will have a SIDs risk and you don't want to accidentally smother her while you are sleeping.

You are trying to teach her that sleeping in her crib in her room is her safe place to be.
It will take time and you are going to have to be patient.
You might be able to settle her in her crib and if she wakes, feed her, settle her down and you sleep on a cot maybe in her room so she's use to her room/crib.
When she cries respond to it (really we're programmed to respond to a baby crying - there's no ignoring it), take care of her, settle her down and repeat.

If you get desperate for sleep then you and Hubby can tag team it.
He takes care of her one night while you sleep (have some breast milk in a bottle so he can feed her), next night you take care of her while he sleeps.
That way every one will be well rested every other night.
If you both get really tired then have a family member or baby sitter come watch her for a few hours while you and Hubby catch up on sleep.

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

J.

Welcome to mamapedia. congratulations on your baby girl.

I'm confused. she's NOT in a crib? Why is she NOT in a crib?

She needs to learn to self-soothe, however, three months is young for self-soothe. Is the temperature different in her room than yours?

At 3 months, MOST (not all) babies are sleeping through the night.

It could be she needs to be warmer or FEEL something. Put a shirt that you have worn (and not washed) in her crib with her. She can smell you that way.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

ETA: most babies are not sleeping through the night at 3 months old, so please don't think that's normal or an appropriate goal. Their little tummies don't hold that much milk or formula and they need to eat overnight. While some formula-fed babies might be ready to STTN at 4-6 months, 6-12 months is more typical, especially if you're breastfeeding.

Original: I may be in the minority here but when it came to sleeping babies, I chose the path of least resistance. I was far more concerned about everyone getting as much sleep as possible than I was about self-soothing, "independence," blah blah blah. It's not really normal for infants to sleep separate from parents so I was fine having ours in my room until it became an issue, and then we moved on to the next phase. I basically co-slept with all of my kids for as long as it made sense. I breastfed them all for at least a year, so that was the minimum time that they slept very close, then they transitioned to their own rooms/cribs over time. My middle son probably got the earliest and firmest boot out because his younger brother came along 22 months later and my tired, pregnant self needed to night wean and get a break for a while.

Anyway...they are all older now (youngest is 13) and were normal sleepers after infancy. They weren't waking up at night for years, or coming to sleep in my bed forever, or any of other problems that naysayers drum up when telling you that you need to have your baby sleeping solo on a strict schedule.

Bottom line? Do what feels right. Three months is very, very young. I would bring the baby back in for now and if you want her to sleep in her own room as a baby (again, NOT a requirement, really!) try again when she's older, maybe at around 6-9 months old.

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D.S.

answers from Phoenix on

If it lets you get some sleep for a couple of nights I’m for it. Then when you get your brain unscrambled try again. She’ll be in her own room by the time she’s 18. Lol!

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I'm adding to other's suggestions. I would put her in crib. Skip moving her iin the bassinet. I suggest that making this a 2 part move confuses her. She expects that she's in your room still because she's still in her bassinet. Where is she?

I also suggest that moving her in the bassinet will result in another transition to her crib. That transition could also be difficult.

I agree to start with naps in the daytime so she can see the room and learn it's now her room. I agree with you that a gradual transition may be easier.

Consider that it takes both adults and babies time to make any adjustment. Would you sleep well in a strange room when you didn't know why?

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

There is a growth spurt at 3 months. Are you sure that she isn't still hungry or hungry again when she wakes up? If she is waking up because she misses you, it is up to you how you handle it. Do what your gut tells you. You could try having her nap where you want her to sleep and still bring her in your room in evening for a while.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.L.

answers from Chicago on

Obviously when it comes to sleep you are going to get a lot of different opinions and hear about a lot of different experiences. I think you have to ask yourself what you want for yourself and your baby. Why is it important to you for her to sleep in her own room? Do you think it is important for her to self soothe, in which case I’d remind you she’s too little. If you are moving her because you think you should, then don’t. Or, do you not sleep well if she’s in your room, in which case I’d say go ahead and stick with helping her get more comfortable in her room, probably in the crib because the bassinet will only be safe for a more limited time. She’s too little to self soothe, but she’s not too little to get used to sleeping on her own if you can be patient with this transition.

If you decide to transition her now, I’d think about some of the differences between your room and hers, like temperature, distance from your room (how long does it take a parent to get to her), sounds, etc. Is she breastfed or bottle-fed? Who was feeding her when she was in your room, who is feeding her now? I think you’re doing the right thing by not ignoring her cries and helping her get back to sleep when she wakes. You should start to see some improvements if you stick with it, but she is very little, so it might take some time.

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My children came home from the hospital and went right into their own rooms. Best thing I did!
Nobody likes change, but change is a part of life. Decide where she will sleep and put her there. Babies cry. It’s part of life. If you aren’t consistent now, it’s just going to get worse. If this her room, put her to bed, and walk out. Sure she wakes up and things are different. So be it. Go, check her, change her diaper, and put her back.
She needs to learn that she can be alone and be fine.
YMMV

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D..

answers from Miami on

If you are inconsistent with her, you are just asking her to cry her head off to get you to give her what she wants. About EVERYTHING. You think that it will just mean she’ll sleep in her bassinet in your room like before. But it will ratchet up to her sleeping in your bed with you, and will have a fit when you try to put her in the crib.

She has made it clear that you have to pay the piper for any change. So be it. Pay the piper. Yes it’s going to be hard. Face up to it and prepare yourself for a week of little sleep for YOU.

Put her in the crib. Put the bassinet away. Do it all at once - night time AND naps. Don’t confuse her more by splitting time between rooms. Feed her, lay her down in the crib still awake (very important!), pat her back and whisper “nighty-night”. Walk out of the room. Let her learn to self-soothe! It will be hard, but do it anyway.

When she wakes in the middle of the night, go in and pat her and say nothing. Don’t pick her up. Just touch her gently with fingers and nothing else. Let her cry. She will wake up less and less over the nights until she is no longer waking.

Try to keep her on the same sleep/wake schedule during this week. Bang pots in the kitchen to wake her up if you need to.

100 percent consistency is the only way to do this. Otherwise, you are just training her to keep waking up for YOU to soothe her.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

I wouldnt torture myself with all that lol. Why are you trying to move her out of your room? The sids rate goes way down when sleeping or even rooming with mom. mom sends off signals to baby to keep breathing. Pretty cool stuff. If you are hell bent on moving her out of your room stay calm and try again every few weeks. Also when you do move her to her room put one of your shirts in the bed with her. and please do not listen to those telling you shes three months old she should self sooth thats just stupid babies cry bc they need something. good luck!

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