Should I Let My Girls (6 & 10) Ride with My Husband on His Motorcycle?

Updated on April 28, 2009
K.F. asks from Carmel, CA
33 answers

My husband comes from a racing family. His Dad was a champion funny car driver in the 70's and his brother is a well known custom car and chopper builder. He grew up on and around dirt bikes and motorcycles and enjoys riding occasionally. I too grew up riding with my Dad on his bike as a little girl. His Dad recently passed away and he has inherited a lovely restored Triumph (not a lot of speed). When he first got the bike I didn't really think about the fact that he would want to take them for rides regularly. It was sort of a novelty, we live by the beach and the first several rides he didn't break 25 mph. Now he wants to use it more as transportation taking them to softball games, the store etc. Should I relax and let them enjoy something that both their Dad and I loved as kids or am I crazy to allow it? My friends think the latter and since times have changed so much I am regretting being so casual about it from the start. Should I leave them alone and let them bond during the occasional Sunday ride or put my foot down and forbid it?

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N.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I would let them bond on the occasional Sunday ride and make getting a ride on the motorcycle a treat. A 6 and 10 year old do not need to be ridden around on a bike for regular transportation, why risk it? Let it be an occasional fun thing, not an everyday thing. Good luck

A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

You can't prevent them for getting on a motorcycle forever so why not now? Especially if Dad is a good driver and they stand to learn how to ride responsibly.

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Good Christ, NO.

Not until they're old enough to take and pass Driver's Ed. IF THEN!

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G.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Whenever I see kids on the back of motorcycles with their Dad's driving the speed limit of 50-65 it freaks me out. What if they fall? Skin on pavement, maybe paralyzed. Can you live with that? A child doesn't have the right to choose endangering themselves. You have to choose. My ex had a 1000cc motorcycle don't remember what kind and he was careful till riding a two lane highway through the trees and a big dog jumped into the street and his choice was lay the bike down, hit an oncoming car at 50+mph or hit the dog which at his speed was like hitting a brick wall. He laid the bike down and scraped and mangled his body, and sold his bike the next week. You just can't predict an accident. Also many are caused by motorists who judge the distance from a bike wrong and slam into them. Not a safe venture. My advise is when your child turns 18 they have the choice to ride a motorcycle along with voting and joining the military.
Sorry for being so intolerant but a friend got paralyzed in a motorcycle accident as a car hit him. Would he make a different choice if he could, Yes.
GOOD LUCK.

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M.F.

answers from Sacramento on

Unfortunately, this morning I pulled out of my housing development in El Dorado Hills to find many cop cars....I wondered why so many? There was a dead motorcyclist. They were about to cover the body as I pulled out with my 5 year old daughter. You and your husband might be the safest people out there, but there are others that will still text, use their phone, speed, etc. PLEASE be careful, especially with your kids!!!

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T.H.

answers from Chico on

this is only a decision you can make. you will have to weigh carefully many factors.

my two cents:

some of my best, most wonderful vivid memories as a child are of exhilarating motorcycle rides-a step dad had one, and a friend of the family. i absolutely loved it. i am so glad i got to have those experiences.

good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Chico on

I think that as long as the girls can reach the foot pegs and around their dad's waist, they are legal to ride with him. I do know that there is a childe harness that snaps over the passenger either around the waist or fully over the shoulders that connects them to the rider and has handles on the rider's belt if you areconcerned about them getting too comfortable and not holding on.

My husband got a motorcycle when gas first went up and used it for short trips across town to college and taking our kindergartener to school and daycare. Our son enjoyed every moment of those rides with dad and other children were envious. He still talks about it even though his dad doesn't get to use the motorcycle very often due to his need to drive a pickup now for work.

If you are uncomfortable with them riding the motorcycle daily, then talk to your husband about your concerns and limit the riding to occasional weekend rides. Perhaps as you get more comfortable with it, allow them to take occasional trips to the store and softball. It will save a lot on gas and will be such a fun bonding time for your girls that they will remember forever.

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

I allow my son (age 6, and very small for his age) to ride on the back of his father's harley davidson (also not built for speed), under the following conditions: Helmet is a must (of course); must be in full jeans, full shoes, with a thick, lined, heavy denim jacket; only on side streets (no streets with stop lights, only stop signs); and absolutely, under no circumstances, EVER on a freeway. This allows my son the experience of riding with his father, while still being very safe. Of course, he is riding with Dad, who loves him very much and takes all cautions to protect him.

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H.J.

answers from San Francisco on

I am guessing your husband is a safe rider, and these are probably already the rules. Insist that the girls dress properly--real shoes (not sandals!) & socks, long pants, long sleeves, HELMET, and let 'em ride! They'll remember the special times with Dad all their lives, and motorcycle riding has NOT become more risky over the years--as long as the motorcycle driver is a safe driver. And you cannot and should not keep your kids from taking some risks--they need to learn to take risks with safety precautions, and this is a great way to teach that.
I know I loved riding with my Dad as a kid.
Your husband loves your girls just as much as you do. He will be careful with them on the bike.

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B.R.

answers from Bakersfield on

Ok so no one else brought this up so thought I would. Is this legal? I thought kids had to be at least 12 to ride on the back of a motorcycle. Not sure how steep the ticket would be on this type of violation. Now if I am completely wrong on the age thing then I would just take in consideration how safe a driver your husband is, I'm thinking he is safe and would not take any kind of risky chance with his children and you also have to take in consideration other drivers, they cannot always see a motorcycle or they are just crazy drivers. I cannot see the forbiding thing going to well, because can you imagine if he forbade you to do something you thought was ok with them. I would check out the age requirments and then go from there. Good luck!

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D.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi Kari, I'm the oldest of 3 girls. My dad also had a motorcycle from the time we were little , the same ages of your daughters. My dad use to give me a ride to school on his motorcycle, everyone thought I was very cool. I think you should let him give them rides. Pretty soon their going to be worried about their hair, and they won't be wanting to wear the helmet.When they get older, they will have some nice memories of alone time with dad. Good Luck-D.

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R.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with what the other moms have said. I really tried to put myself in your shoes. I say givin all things taken into consideration let them enjoy this with their dad. How special and fun. But be prepared... The day may come and a young man on a bike will capture their heart and ride off into the sunset with your little girl.

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M.F.

answers from Salinas on

My first thought is what are you comfortable with? Not what do other people think. If he is super esponsible then why not but if your not super comfortable with it maybe you could compromise and let him cruise around town close by with the kids but limit fast driving to times when he is solo... And make him feel like part of the decision

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J.R.

answers from Stockton on

The first thing i thought of was what someone recently mentioned, "is it even legal". A 6 year old or under 60lb (if at 6 years the child hasn't reached 60lbs he/she should still be in a booster seat) child should still be in a car seat in a car so why would you put him or her out on the open road with no protection? My uncle always had motorcycles during my childhood and my parents forbid him to let us ride it, we were only able to sit on it while it was parked. He bought a Harley about 5 years ago and still bugs me go for a ride on it, I am 31 years old and have yet to ever ride on a motorcycle and have no plans on it or ever allowing my children to ride!

That being said, I have reason, very vivid reasoning for not riding or allowing my children. One of my moms best friends had a daughter who was a few months younger than me, I was in Kindergarten at the time, we were really close and played together all the time. Her mothers boyfriend drove a motorcycle, this was their mode of transportation at the time and the 3 of them (yes THREE) rode the motorcycle, mom on the back 5 year old on the tank in the front. They were driving down a main road and had a green light, a off duty cop in his cop car just happened to run a red light and hit them. The little girl and moms boyfriend were killed, dead on arrival. Mom was in VERY bad shape and barely made it herself, she spent months in the hospital and months later when she was finally coherent she had to be told that her daughter died and she couldn't even make it to the funeral because she was in ICU.
I took this very hard as a 6 year old little girl who could not fathom what was going on. I just knew that I would never be able to see my friend anymore.
My children will not be allowed to ride as long as I can help it. Yes, I know there will be a day where I won't be able to stop them but until then I will keep them protected!

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T.W.

answers from San Francisco on

My kids are 5 & 7 and been riding with their Dad for at least 2 years, they do not go on the street they stay on dirt though I rode with my dad when I was little on the road and my dad taught me to ride myself at a young age. Do what you feel comfortable with, if you trust your husband and think your kids can listen to the rules for riding then do it, if you do not feel comfortable then wait. Good Luck!

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M.E.

answers from San Francisco on

I feel compelled to add my two cents. I think the child should be old enough to hold on tight and understand that they should lean with with driver not against and throw the balance off. Lastly, please make sure they are wearing a full helmet - not a half helmet that is so common with Harley riders. My ex-boyfriend used to call those brain bucket helmet. By the way, I just asked my husband, a former motorcycle rider, if he would take our girls (ages 7 & 10) if he would ride with them (if he still had his bike) and he said he wouldn't. His quote, "Too many things can go wrong and the child passenger wouldn't know how to react."

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S.U.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it is so risky to let anyone you love ride motorcycles. Even though your husband has lots of experience its the other driver that puts you at risk. I am a vigilant car driver and watch for bicycles and motorcycles all the time, but I just cut a motorcycle off the other day because I just didn't see them (the first time as far as I can remember). Not many car drivers are as careful. People are so stressed these day and are racing from one thing to the next. Plus people are still using cell phones, drinking coffee, etc. while driving. A 200 lb motorcycle doesn't have much of a chance against a 4000 lb car. Can you find a motorcycle "park" where they don't have to contend with cars so they can have their motorcycle experience without having to deal with cars?

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

Kari,

Trust your motherly instinct. It is correct.

I have a brother in law who was riding a motorcycle and had a van pull out from a driveway and he ran into the side of it..he lost his eye, crushed the bones in half of his face (they used some of his ribs to rebuild it) had pins in his broken legs, had skin grafts taken from his buttoxks for his legs, and has walked with a limp ever since. His back is such a mess, he has been on lifelong pain meds. He almost died. No, it's not worth it. There are other ways to bond with a child.

Even if your husband thinks he can drive safe - the problem is you are out there with your body exposed and vunerable. And with other drivers who don't drive safe. SUV's that sit high and vans may have blind spots, and drivers just arn't LOOKING for bikes.

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M.Q.

answers from San Francisco on

I do think it's something that you and your husband should really have a serious talk about. If you really aren't wanting to allow it, you do have to be careful about how you approach it and you wouldn't want him to be resentful, but instead to really understand your fears.

I grew up in a family of motorcycles, both my uncles have harleys and both are still in bike 'clubs' even in their 50's. My brother got his motorcycle a few years ago when he was 25, and is a super responsible driver.

Would I let my kids ride at that age? Absolutely not. I just think they are too young and it's just too dangerous. They can bond and get their thrills met with other activities.

Of course you can't always protect them, but the roads are so much more congested these days, we have people talking on cell phones and texting while driving and we are a 'rush' society like never before. If you feel you can compromise, an occassional ride NOT on a city street would be my choice.

When they are older they can take those risks for themselves, in the meantime it's your responsibility.

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R.P.

answers from Sacramento on

You have to remember they are his kids too and I am sure he would never do anything to jeopardize their welfare. If you say "no" you will probably end up fighting with your husband. I really don't think he is going to get crazy on his bike especially with such precious cargo.

My opinion is yes, but it is only my opinion. Just remember how much you loved riding when you were young. Your daughters probably are a chip off the old block. :)

R.

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C.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Being that both you and your husband have extensive motorcycle experience, you're well ahead of the typical midlife crisis person who buys one and thinks he's an expert 10 miles later. You're kids will be safer.

I believe the law states that passengers must sit in back and be able to put their arms around the driver. (correct me if I'm wrong) As long as the legal criteria is met, everything should be fine.

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E.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi Kari,
My first thought after reading your post is why would you "forbid" your husband? I am assuming that you have been married to him for quite awhile. You and your husband are a team in marriage and in parenthood. Sit down together, when you can't be interrupted and talk this out. Share with him your concerns about the girls safety and how it would impact you if anything every happened. He may not be able to completely eliminate your fears, but at least he will be aware of them and feel respected that you talked to him. He is their dad and partner in decisions. Perhaps you can agree on appropriate destinations and safety gear. You need to respect his involvement and decisions as their Dad. Good luck.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm on the fence about the motorcycle thing, mainly because I have no personal experience riding motorcycles.

It sounds as though you are comfortable with it, but you are facing the judgment of your friends. I grew up in Mexico where people ran under and jumped over fireworks (and I never saw anyone get harmed), but people in the U.S. called me names and swore at me one year when I let my children jump over firecrackers. It's hard to be different. Good luck.

G.M.

answers from Modesto on

By all means let them ride! Good memories for them and their Daddy. Putting them in the car is no more dangerous than on the bike with their helmet and their dad as the driver. I'm sure Dad will be a careful driver knowing he's carrying a fragile gift on his bike. The naysayers just don't know what it feels like to hold their dad tight and feel the wind. I used to ride on the back of my grandpa's bike when I was a little girl. I loved it. Go for it without guilt.

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

If you feel safe riding with your husband and your children have the right equipment, I say okay. If it were me, I would allow my husband to take our children on the motorcycle, but I would ask that he not travel on the interstate or freeways. Also, I would want to be sure the younger child was capable of holding on to daddy and leaning with the bike at turns.

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with the responses that say let them ride. If you trust your husband to be safe and you trust your kids to be hold on and pay attention to dad, then go for it. We ride too so I dont see anything wrong with it. The freeway thing does scare me a bit. Only because alot of idiots out there dont even pay attention to us on bikes. I say be cautious and have fun.

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A.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I LOVE to ride and I am completely comfortable letting my kids ride with people I know are responsible.

I don't think they're any more dangerous now than they were then. Actually probably safer with all the laws that are in effect now that weren't when we were kids. Helmets being required by law ... didn't happen. Although my parents made me wear one anyway.

Ignore what your friends have to say. They are clearly idiots. Your husband isn't going to do anything dangerous with his girls on the back of that bike. And I'm sure he'll be more aware and defensive than if he was riding by himself.

Edited to add: I love all the "horror" stories about motorcycle accidents where they knew someone or knew someone who knew someone who got killed on one. Never known anyone who got killed in a car accident? How about crossing the street? or riding a bicycle? or riding a bus? or GOING TO SCHOOL? Yet we don't consider forbiding those with the proper safety precautions.

Yes motorcycles can be dangerous. But so can breathing.

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Would you feel guilty if God forbid there was an accident? Or would you be able to accept that as just an accident that sadly happened?

That will tell you what to do.

Good Luck!

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J.B.

answers from Fresno on

I'm a grandma, and my son-in-law has purchased dirt bikes for my grandsons (ages 6 and 9). It terrifies me, but I have watched them ride, with their Dad practically walking beside them teaching them what to do to be safe. I'm slowly overcoming some of my fear.

That being said, I will say that my own children were pretty protected in their allowed activities, and motorcycles were never in the picture. However, my 15 year old son was killed in a freak accident working on the farm, with his Father only 10 feet away watching the whole terrifying thing happen. NO ONE was at fault. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

You cannot completely protect your children from harm. Due diligence is expected, but one also has to bite the bullet (or your lip) and allow activities that will bring joy to their lives and bonding with their Father.

After our son's accident, his father tried to put a 'fence/wall' around our daughter to protect her. It can't be done.

Things change so quickly and they grow up so fast. Enjoy all the time you have with your children and partake of life with GUSTO.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Oh Kari,

I hate motorcycles....but YOU don't and neither does your husband. You both have extensive experience and know about ALL the safety precautions and rules. As long as both of you see to it that your children are properly protected, I think you should let them ride.

Prayers and Blessings.....

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My husband has motorcycles and once I was pregnant with the first, I've never ridden with him since, even 15 years later.

Our rule for the kids riding with Daddy was they had to be big enough to ride safely ("legally") in the front seat of a car and trustworthy to understand the danger of 65 mph. That meant 5 feet tall and 100 pounds and our discretion of being old enough to handle it. My son hit that mark at around 9.5 years old, roughly early 4th grade. My daughter is 11 at the end of fifth grade and no where close to hitting it in size, although she's been mentally ready for quite a while, so I did relent and let Daddy take her once down the street so she could feel the excitement of it. Of course a proper sized helmet and full clothing ensemble: close toed shoes, long pants, long sleeves, etc are required. Make sure the helmet fits the kids, they usually need an XS or S!!

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E.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Kari, I admit that I am prejudiced. I would not let my son ride on a motorcycle. I used to live with a Hell's Angel, and I loved to ride on his bike. But one night he told me all his best friends were dead. When I asked why, he said they had been killed in motorcycle accidents. I had him take me to work the next day in his car, and I haven't been on a bike since. It's not worth the risk...

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Obviously it's up to you and your husband. But if it were me, I would cry and scream and beg and crawl to make sure no one in my family got on a motorcycle, helmet or no helmet. The motorcycle may be the safest one around, he may be the best, most alert driver, etc etc, but when that drunk going 70 mph hits them, they'll all be dog meat. Believe me, this is the voice of experience speaking.

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