Should I Go? Need Help ASAP!

I went on a trip (to a friend's wedding) when my little guy was about that age. I had all the same worries as you before I left. But I went and had a great time with my friends. I DID get engorged, but there are ways to relieve that.

Best part? The look on my baby's face when he and daddy came to pick me up at the airport. I will NEVER forget that smile and the way he practically JUMPED into my arms! BTW, that baby is 17 now and still loves me, even though I left him to go on that trip.

A suggestion about weaning to a bottle. Choose one style and stay with just the one so baby can get used to it. Trying different styles confuses him. Also leave and let someone else feed him. It may take a couple of days before baby accepts the bottle but as others have said, he will not let himself starve.

I'd go if I were you. As a single person, i've been anxious and came close to canceling a trip overseas and am so very glad I went. Once I got there I had a great time because I expected a great time.

I would give the trip away to some one else and stay home. Even the thought of that trip makes me miserable and I don't have a baby.

Welcome to mamapedia!!!

You've already answered your question.

You are a first time mom and are already convinced you will have a MISERABLE time if you go. With that attitude - you will.

If you can't go. See if you can sell the tickets or move the date. Otherwise? Go and trust whomever you are asking to take care of your child, will take care of him.

As to breast feeding? Pump and dump. You won't be able to bring it back unless you pack it in your suitcase. In which case, bring the Gerber bags with you and put them in the "freezer" section of your room refrigerator. Make sure you have large ziploc bags with you when you go so you can store them in that for the trip home.

I'm not going to tell you whether you should go or not. That's YOUR decision. I don't know WHO you have to watch your child. I don't know your circumstances. What I DO KNOW?? If it were me? I would go. Mom's need to be taken care of too.

I hate surprises that try to obligate me to do something, so that influences my opinion somewhat. Baby or not, I would be upset if my husband did this. (He knows it too, so he wouldn't dare.)

My sister threw a surprise party for my 30th birthday. I had already made plans weeks in advance. Her intentions were good but she failed to consider anything beyond her own excitement of the idea. She didn't know I had other plans because she hadn't bothered to ask.

This is what your SO did. He ran with an idea that made *him* happy. He assumed you would be happy too, but didn't actually consider your feelings or the details of the situation at hand.

I have two kids. One was a bottle feeder, the other never once took a bottle. I would not have left either one of them for a week at 7 months old. Of course the kid would probably be okay...but I wouldn't. I can tell you with absolute certainty that this Mexico trip would be a "Thanks, but no." for me.

I'd tell him to take a friend or try to sell the tickets to someone else. Or even give them away if necessary. Remember - you are NOT OBLIGATED to go. Not because he wants you to, not because the tickets are non-refundable. He made his choices but you are entitled to make yours. This isn't negativity, it is having realistic expectations and self-awareness.

If he's a decent person, he may be disappointed but he will understand and handle it with maturity.

If he doesn't take it well, then you have some hard decisions to make concerning your future.

Life is very short. I agree with others, your mind seems set on having a miserable time. It's a choice. You could also try ot have a good time. I've NEVER seen a baby starve his or her self to death. Baby will be fine while you're gone.

I would go and I'm the most attached momma ever but I've also learned it is very important to teach our children the world doesn't revolve around them and more than just me can provide and love on them.

If you decide to go, pump and dump and set your mind on having a good time. Be present. Live in the moment, the scenery, the food, the drink, the company of your loving SO. Drink it all in.

Before you go let your SO know the angst you have had over the last minute knowledge of it all and perhaps in the future there could be some more conversation about such a get away.

I know the pain you are feeling because we went to Mexico for a week when my daughter was 1 (and son was 6) and it felt extremely painful to me to leave her. Even though I wanted to go badly...I also was very unsure about leaving her with her capable grandparents. I know logically that a week is quick and she would be fine, but it was so hard for me. But I went and I am SO GLAD that I did! My husband and I had a 2nd honeymoon...the trip was amazing and relaxing and it was wonderful to have no responsibility for a week. I enjoyed it so much and my kids were just fine...even my little one. Her grandparents spoiled her and both my kids really bonded with them that week. And the reunion was so sweet when we got back! I think in the big picture a week is nothing...a blip. Your daughter will be just fine. You should bring a breast pump and pump and dump while you are gone so that you do not get engorged and can come back and resume breast feeding. It was such a lovely trip. Sigh. I wish I could go again!

Ok, I just had to add one idea. If you really cannot leave the baby for a week and the tickets are not refundable or you can't change the date...Take your baby with you! I realize this is not what your husband envisioned, but I think it will be fine. You can hold him on your lap on the plane. Take a stroller and what he needs and enjoy a vacation with baby. We traveled with both our kids at that age. It makes for a different kind of vacation but we still enjoyed ourselves. I think going to an all inclusive resort is quite safe and you will not be exposing baby to some kind of disease. Don't let strangers touch him and all should be fine. Oops... I just read no kids allowed. I guess I'd call them and ask if a baby is ok. It's not like he's a child running around ruining the adult atmosphere.

I would go and stop focusing on the negative or you will not have a good time. This could be just the chance you need for you and your husband to reconnect and find each other again, something that often gets lost with a new baby taking everyones time. IF you have a safe place to leave him then I would go. He will not let himself starve, he will figure out how to use a bottle or he can even sip from a regular glass with help. At 7 months I am assuming he also eats baby food so only a portion of his calories come from breast milk anyways. He will be fine. And so will you (you will be even better after a chance to relax and reconnect with your husband), just bring your breast pump to keep you comfortable.

I faced a similar choice when I had to decide whether or not to leave my boys at similar ages with a trusted friend so we could go to Paris. I decided to go and it was the greatest trip ever, not because it was Paris, but because it allowed my husband and me to reconnect on every level. We came back happier and more connected to each other, which in turn made us both better parents.

You have convinced yourself you will have a terrible time. With that attitude you will.

Look, life is short. Your child will not remember that you were gone for a week. Go. Seriously go and have FUN!!!

No one here can tell you what to do - there are too many factors we don't know. Personally, I could not have done it at that age - my children didn't take bottles and I didn't want to be away from them for a night, let alone a week. But while my husband has surprised me with trips, he wouldn't have done it during a time like that. You'll have plenty here telling you to go, but I couldn't have...

Your baby will not want a bottle from you, he will take if he is really hungry from someone else, especially if you are not there.

Take the breast pump with and pump and freeze.

Yes. And you pump and dump (or freeze).
And you will miss him, but you can also have fun. It's important to take care of yourself and your relationship too.
He will eat. Your mom will get a little extra bonding time, and you can breathe.

Go!
Have fun.
It is only 1 week.
Your baby will be fine, you and your SO gave you this gift because he loves you, wants you to be happy and you deserve it.

I know if feels strange, but to be honest, your infant will have no memory of this time. He will spend about 80 percent of his time sleeping. Sleep with some of his baby blankets, so that they will have your scent on them. They will comfort him.

Go and have fun!

I'm kind of surprised by some of these answers. At seven months I would not have enjoyed myself being away from my baby for 7 days. Pump and Dump for a whole week? Yuck. Not for me.

We did overnights and weekend getaways when my kids were little. It was hard to leave them, then I relaxed for a day or so and had fun being free. After about 48 hours both my husband and I were ready to go home to our family.

I think your SO was insensitive or maybe just clueless about what being a parent of an infant is like. If you don't want to go, don't.

How many nights? I would probably just go and bring the breast pump. He will adjust to a bottle.

You have the new mother's syndrome of not wanting to leave your baby with anyone.

Consider this a break that you need from the baby and the other worries you have. It will clear your mind and you can relax. You are a woman, a wife and then a mom. Many people here forget the order of your life.

Go and enjoy your womanhood again. And make it a habit of at least once a year getting away from baby or the kids to be an adult. It does make a difference in how you look at your family. You have a person who is competent and can care for your child so you have no worries.

Only you can make that choice and live with it.

the other S.

The grandparents will have a great time with him. Your husband should of asked you. However he was trying to do something loving so cut him some slack.

I wouldn't go, but I don't leave my babies until they wean.

I can tell u not to worry but I'm not you. But I do think either way your decision will be fine. I can see how others think it was insensitive fir him to plan this without asking you but for him it was a surprise to his new mom of his child. Maybe he felt it was well deserved and as much as it may have been nice to know it's also what many of us complain about how men are not romantic etc. This is such a romantic gesture and possibly well needed break after 9 mths of carrying and 7 mths of a newborn. However I can empathize as its so hard for me to leave my 6 yr old son for weekend getaways let alone a week. We always take him with us on vaca to Mexico and be sure they have a kids center available.

I think you will be happy once you go and relax. Your mom if willing and able will take good care of him ( you stated she's wayptxhed before so it's obvious you are ok with her watching him)

Look at the positive side : a nice time for mom and dad to reconnect, when will u get to do this again, probably not for a while and the baby won't know the difference and should be fine.

But again no one can tell u what to do.

Personally I would *not* go, and I wouldn't feel guilty about the non-refundable tickets or reservations since I was not the one to plan an expensive trip for a relatively new mom without talking to her about it first.

If he wants to go by himself, OK, but maybe that was the plan from the start? Sorry for sounding cynical.

At this point in my life, having raised two sons (and I made plenty of mistakes when they were little) I just would not leave my 7 month old baby to go out of the country for a week. The infancy period passes very quickly. Couldn't you guys rent a condo in Florida, or somewhere in the U.S.? Or leave baby with Grandma for an overnight while you go to a hotel?

JMO.

Well, my husband would never have made reservations like that in the first place when I was pregnant.
We knew we'd be busy with the baby.
We did some traveling before we started having kids so we were ready to settle down.
Everyone is different.
Some women would have no issues leaving the baby for a week with a relative.
But for me with our son at that age - I couldn't do it.
My maternity leave was only 12 weeks and it was hard enough taking him to day care every day - we wanted to spend all our time with our son outside of work.

Did your SO know you were pregnant when he purchased the tickets? Sounds like he didn't think ahead about there being a baby in the picture. I'm shocked that he just told you recently and the trip is in a week. I'd be having some serious conversations with him about communication.

Your baby will not remember that you left - so it's nothing he's going to hold against you for the rest of his life! He is attached to you, of course, but he doesn't have the emotional development yet to really feel "love" as we know it. So he won't stop loving you. He will take some time to get used to you when you come back and he may be temporarily attached to the person who is his primary caretaker while you are away. That person may have a couple of rough days when you first leave, and you may have a couple when you return. But lots of women have done this, and your pediatrician has confirmed that your child will be fine.

No baby 7 months old will take a zippy cup or drink through a straw. So don't even try those yet! The baby will take a bottle from someone else - maybe not from you, but he will not starve. The thing to do now is to pump breast milk and have someone else give him the bottle. That's kind of a nice thing anyway because then he can be comforted by a second person and learn that others provide sustenance.

Yes, you would be engorged if you tried to go a week with no breast feeding. So you either decide you are done with breastfeeding and want to wean the baby (which it doesn't sound like you do) or you pump and dump the breast milk.

But it sounds like you are already under stress from other things - you say "I've got so many things worrying me and on top of it…" you'll be miserable on vacation. So there are other factors besides a vacation. You may have a ton of stuff on your plate, or you may have anxiety -- so those things need to be dealt with.

Is being away from a baby difficult? Yes. Do new moms need a break sometimes? Absolutely. You are not just a mother - you are a woman, an adult, a partner in a relationship. Only you can decide if some alone time for yourself with no one wanting a piece of you would actually be a wonderful thing - taking a walk by yourself, sleeping late, perhaps even having a couple of cocktails (since you will be dumping your breast milk) - or spending some alone time with your SO after all this focus on a new baby might be lovely and restorative, letting you reconnect. Is this a good gift to your relationship? Your child is entitled to 2 parents who are happy and secure and connected.

Otherwise, if the tickets can't be delayed or transferred, you can just take the financial loss and stay home where you will not have to deal with this question. And your SO needs a good talking to for not discussing this with you until recently so there would be more time to prepare emotionally.

So ask yourself if you will regret not taking this trip - at some point you do have to separate from your child. They need to build independence at some point. Would a break from the problems in your life be good for you emotionally, and would a change of scene be beneficial? Is this the time?

Please go. Pump and dump. But go. Both you AND your baby need this vacation.

your baby won't take a bottle from you, because he's used to breastfeeding from you. but he WILL take one from your mom, or his dad, if you commit. babies have been doing it forever.
the first night i went back to work and left my 6-week-old baby with his dad, we had never even attempted to give him a bottle (stupidest new parents EVER we were- but in our defense, no internet.) when i got home at 2 or so in the morning, they were both red-eyed, furious and exhausted. but that was the last bad night they ever had.
so, there are several different things going on here. yes, it was sweet of your SO to think of something like this, if he's a surprise sort of guy. but hopefully this will wake him up to the simple fact that once a baby is in the picture, this sort of 'surprise' is more stress than excitement.
your baby will be just fine. if you've got good reliable family to leave him with, it will actually be beneficial. babies should not be so pathologically attached to their moms that they can't ever be apart from, despite modern moms who are more about their own needs than their babies'. and above and beyond that, what most new parents lose sight of is that one of the best gifts any parents can give their kids is a healthy, thriving, loving couples relationship, and that's very challenging when all of one's energy is taken up with this breathtaking new life. nurturing one's love life is vitally important, and from that perspective this week of refocusing on each other is just the ticket.
however, not having had any time to prepare for it mentally does change the game. plus the fact that you've already pretty much made up your mind that you ARE going to be miserable, and i think what you're actually looking for here is reasons to cancel the trip.
so cancel it. no point in going if you're bound and determined to be a wreck over it.
khairete
S.

Go. You will have a great time and have alone time with your SO. You can pump and either freeze or throw out the milk (depending upon what your freezer and travel options are) to keep up your production so you can continue bfing when you return. Your baby will take a bottle from whomever is taking care of him. He will not starve.

What if you got sick and had to be in the hospital? Your baby wouldn't suffer by being taken care of by someone else.

You'll be fine. Talk to the doc about the pain and milk issue. I think you'll be fine.

Read kellymom.com for tips to feed breastfed babies other than via bottle.

I can see all sides on this - but *I* would not have been able to leave my babies at that age. Shoot, my kids were almost 4, 6, and 8 before I left for a weekend. That is too far the other extreme (but money and babysitting made it that way), but I don't think I could go and enjoy myself.

If you do go, it won't be the end of the world though. You will likely have an amazing time, your baby will be just fine, and you will have amazing memories.

So just do what feels right to you.