Should I Give up Breastfeeding??

I had other issues but I eventually gave up at 2mos.old. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. For me it was making me miserable and to demanding. I was just to stressed out. My daughter was also not tolerating my brestmilk on top of it but we moved to formula and I've never looked back. My daughter is now 7mos.old and I'm so glad she's a formula/bottle baby so easy and my baby is happier too.

A.
I, too, went through the same thing. Not only did my supply take a huge hit when I went back to work, but my daughter was more interested in the world than breastfeeding most of the time. I would say if you think you can stop breastfeeding and not feel bad, do it. You will end up with less stress and will probably be a happier mommy and wife. But if by stopping breastfeeding, you'll feel guilty and think about it all the time just keep going. First, did the doctor say she's not gaining enough weight. She's gained something in two weeks. Plus if she's not taking formula anyway, switching to just formula may not increase her weight much more. Also, maybe try to not mix the formula and breastmilk. If she takes breastmilk no problem, just give her that. Then try just formula afterwards or at the next feeding. That way you're not wasting any breastmilk (I know how it feels to have to throw away any milk at all) and you'll get her used to drinking just formula, which she'll most likely do at some point, now or later! And if you want, have a regular beer. Just do it right after you feed your daughter at night. Then your husband can give her a bottle of formula at her next feeding. The alcohol should be gone by the feeding after that and you'll have had the relaxing benefits of a real beer!
And know, that no matter what, you are doing what's best for your baby by asking questions, breastfeeding even a single day, and being conscious of all your options.
Good luck
J. M.
North Liberty
My daughter and I made it breastfeeding until 7 1/2 months. When I was only pumping 5 ml for each breast after 25 minutes of pumping, I knew it was just stressing us both out. After that, we cuddled with any bottle I was home for and she is a happy, healthy 15 month old now!!!

Milk supply is directly tied to the amount of baby stimulation your breasts get. I would try nursing her at the breast as much as possibly when home- and then getting a good pump at work and pump for her. When pumping at work try smelling a piece of her clothes and looking at her picture.

- mother to 5 - and breast feeder eternal (at least it feels so now)

As long as you are producing what you feel to be a fair amount and you are not having any pain or discomfort with pumping, I would continue. Mom, you are doing a great job! It is all new to your daughter and could be something as simple as the bottle nipple! It has been my experience that strictly breastfed infants who are introduced a bottle later (Which is great! :-)) Tend to be more picky about the nipple, they tend to not like the harder nipples or the nuk nipples, I recommend trying a Soothie bottle or a more natural nipple, your brown nipples tend to be softer...give it a try before you decide to stop breastfeeding. And also, make sure it is your choice to stop breastfeeding and not anyone else's, you may regret your (or rather their) decision, and then, it will be too late. Also, I wouldn't mix breastmilk and formula, this is probably confusing her even more, I would have daycare try smaller and more frequent feeds with bottle and breastmilk until she gets the hang of it. And in the case your daughter is just rebelling, have dad try at home occassionally so, she doesn't just associate it with daycare and mommy being gone. (Babies are smarter than we think! :-))

I would suggest trying a different natural blend for boosting your milk. There is a blend called Mother's Milk Plus that works great. I had problems with my milk supply with my first baby and found that this supplement helped me a great deal. I had tried just taking fenugreek herb capsules and blessed thistle herb capsules, but they didn't work like the Mother's Milk Plus blend did. You can get it on the net at www.motherlove.com. Hope that helps.

Blessings,
L.

It is totally up to you! If you want to quit breastfeeding, do so. It won't make you a bad mom, and you should not feel guilty.

Also, don't get scared about your baby's weight at this point. She IS gaining weight. If she were losing a lot, it'd be one thing, but her weight is going up. Don't let the doctors scare you. What is important is her disposition, and that she is having lots of wet and poopy diapers!

If you are interested in continuing breastfeeding, I do have some advice for you. It sounds like you might have two issues going on, judging from your post. With your daughter not taking a bottle at daycare, would your daycare provider try other methods, like a small cup (a shotglass is the perfect size), an eye dropper, or even just a straw with one finger used to create suction?

Also, have you seen the Adiri brand of bottles? They basically look like a breast. They are one piece (even the nipple). Google "Adiri" and they should come right up.

Have you tried breastfeeding right at the daycare, when you pick her up or drop her off? Can you go see her at lunch?

As for your supply of breastmilk, I never got the same response from a pump as I did my baby. My supply really dropped the more I pumped and the less I actually breastfed. I also drank a ton of water and the "mother's" teas. I meditated and prayed and relaxed the best I could, but it wasn't the same. Breastfeeding doesn't have to be "all or nothing". If the amount you are pumping seems of value to you, then continue. When I stopped pumping, I was only coming home with a couple of ounces each day--it totally wasn't worth it to me. It's really your call. Just listen to you heart on your mama instincts on this one. Good luck.

Hi A.! I totally feel your pain. I know the stress of not being able to make enough milk. No matter what people say, it's not always a clear cut supply and demand thing.
Why not do both breast milk and formula? My little ones had to do that. My son was severely dehydrated when I was only breastfeeding him. I pumped and breastfed all that I could and gave formula where needed.
I actually don't recommend La Leche League. In my personal experience, those associated with it were the most judgemental and ignorant people I have ever had to deal with. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed with all my heart but they claimed I didn't want it badly enough.
And correction, the mom who said formula fed babies only survive where breastfed babies thrive..... thankfully untrue. Breastmilk is best, but supplementing is okay too.
Keep up the good work! You CAN have it both ways! Once I stopped beating myself up for not being able to exclusively breastfeed, I became thankful that I was able to give my baby a bottle of formula a day.
Keep pumping regularly at work, breastfeed at home and have formula on hand for when/if you need it.
Also, fenugreek was pointless for me. Mother's Milk tea worked better. Also, 1/2 dark beer(such as Guiness) per day, as needed will boost your milk supply and will NOT be secreted in your milk. Red Raspberry leaf tea (found in health food stores) is reported to MABEY increase milk supply. I spent hundreds of dollars on supplements to boost my milk and just ended up with less money and more stress :)
Do what is right for you. No one here can tell you what to do. That's why I hated LLL. It's more of a guilt trip than a resource.
***I just remembered something! My kids did not like B. milk combined with formula/water. I had to either give a bottle of b. milk OR a bottle of formula.

Hi A., I have not read the other posts, but I would say, why do one or the other? I nursed both of my children to 13-14 months, but gave both some formula as well when I wasn't producing quite enough. Keep nursing and pumping as much as you can, but give some formula when you're not making enough milk yourself. The lactation consultant told me that it's not the amount of breastmilk they get, but the duration that they are getting it. So it's better to keep it up. Try mixing half-and-half breastmilk and formula and see if she'll take that at daycare. Maybe the flavor difference is just too much. Hope this helps!

Don't stress about it. Of course, breast is best, but there is NOTHING wrong with formula if breastfeeding just isn't working. My oldest (now 6 1/2) was formula fed and has been as healthy as can be and he's incredibly smart. My second got expressed breast milk. My 6-week-old baby is getting the same, but I'm thinking he'll end up on formula sometime later.

Do you have a good pump? ARe you pumping every 3 hours? How long are you pumping for? You need to make sure you are doing it long enough to be stimulated, etc...

have you been in contact with la leche league? find a group near you and relax. no matter what you end up doing, you make sure its a decision YOU are comfortable with. pumping is hard, i could never pump very much milk, and i had enough milk to feed a whole third world country, so much that in the later months of breastfeeding (my son self weaned at 19 months) my son was leaking milk out his nose while nursing due to my strong let down and milk supply LOL.

anyway, find a la leche league. they can help you not only find a solution, but help you to relax and feel confident in your decisions.
relax. dont get so worried. your daughter is not going to die. its normal for babies to go on nursing strikes when switching to bottlefeeding, they wont starve themselves.. but they will have a bit of an 'attitude' about it LOL. its normal and ok. just have patience and keep doing what you have to do. nipple confusion is also a myth this late in the game, though it is easier to get out of a bottle, so you should pay attention to sucking habits, and allow baby to suck when she needs.

anyway,
just take some time and get some support to see if you can fix this nursing issue. martha sears writes a book called 'the breastfeeding book' and they even have information for adoptive mothers who want to breastfeed, AND CAN, and for relactating after a period of time that breastfeeding has not been able to happen or something. so it IS POSSIBLE to get your supply back, and it is possible to continue, so dont give up! you can find "the breastfeeding book" on amazon for low prices used.

good luck.
have patience
dont give up unless you feel it is the best decision for your family. dont listen to outside advice that makes you uncomfortable!!! thats the NUMBER ONE rule for parenting!

I remember 3-5 months, and going back to work, as a challenging transition period. Your baby will not starve herself, even if she may seem picky right now (I don't believe babies get "confused", I think they have their own opinions already and of course Mom is better than bottle!) My daughter refused the bottle, drank nothing at all, at daycare for her entire first month there! Then she suddenly started drinking formula from the bottle at daycare. I also continued to BF up to 11 mos. Don't let dad, or anyone else, decide what is working for you. You are doing great, so relax and this will pass.

Hi, I think that you need to do what is right for you and your baby. I had trouble with getting my little girl to latch when she was little and then it felt like she was on me forever when she finally latched on correctly. I wanted to give up so many times and I had a few people that supported the breastfeeding but most said the same thing that your husband and friend are saying, that I did good for trying and to stop. I kept plugging along, have gone through some times since that I still felt as though she wasn't getting enough, but I got myself through it by telling myself this was what was best for her and that she was only going to be this little once. I took it day by day. I notice that if I don't eat as well as I should have or if it is around the time of my period, that it still feels as if I have low days. I also read somewhere in all my dealings with should I/ shouldn't I, that your body needs an adequate amount of water but too much can be a negative factor in supply also. I didn't read all of your responses and don't know if you use www.kellymom.com at all, but I used it alot and found it to be a great source for questions. I didn't pump alot, but when you are at work, are you pumping at the times that you would normally be feeding your daughter at home or do only get set times to pump? My daughter is now 19 months old and I am still breastfeeding her throughout the day. She also gets all big girl meals throughout the day along with some regular milk, but she and I don't seem to be quite ready yet to give up on these very special mom and daughter moments. I know the time will be coming to an end soon, I can't believe that she is 19 months already and all of my concerns about breastfeeding when she was little seems like forever ago. I got pressure back when she was little to give up and now I get the questions, oh you're still breastfeeding, when are you going to stop? Other people are always going to have an opinion, you can listen to them and then make up your own mind on what you think is right, after all, they are just opinions. In the end, do what is right for you and your daughter. Good luck and congrats on your little girl!

You have done great! Don't give up though! You can do it, every little bit helps. You sure can keep supplementing. Maybe just go to the bottle, pump as often as you can whenever you can. Like every two hours when possible. Give her formula & breast milk, just use the bottle all the time!? It's just my suggestion. Best of luck to you. It's not the end of the world if you want to stop nursing. Some babies only get formula and grow just fine, usually even bigger. Just don't get down on yourself, your a great mom for going this long!! She will be fine!

Don't give up! You are doing fine. Whenever you are around your baby, offer the breast and that will get your supply up. Pumping is not as effective as nursing when it comes to stimulation or drawing out milk. Your baby is the queen of drawing milk out of you. I would also get into a support group like La Leche League. They can help you with whatever your goals are for nursing. Hang in there and don't let this opportunity escape. Your daughter will only be this little and of nursing age at this window in your lives. Keep going!
Good luck,
J.

Mama, relax! She isn't going to gain pounds and pounds each week... she is still gaining. AND she is 4mos old... that a HUGE growth spurt time... she will be eating more and probably be waking at night to nurse as well. 4mos is the biggest growth spurt in the first year, your baby will be hungry.

AS for your milk supply, I'm sure its fine, and it probably has dipped some, but if you pump regularily while at work, it will be ok! I'm sure she is getting fussy at daycare wanting ot nurse instead of a bottl, but thats totally normal so don't worry about her. She won't starve herself, and if you choose to formula feed while at work and nurse while at home, thats ok too, many moms do that, and she is still getting the milk she needs from you while you are together.

Too much water will actually not help your supply, drink to thirst, eat a bowl of oatmeal a day, try some mothers milk tea, and pump and relax while pumping.

I think what is happening sounds totally normal, so jsut push past it and you will be ok. First you have to relax and find some support around you, it sounds like you don't have as much as you need.

If you truly want to do what is best for your baby, do not give up breastfeeding! No matter what people say, (and they only say that because the formula companies do such a great job at advertising) formula babies survive, while breastfed babies THRIVE. I'm sure you know the advantages already, and your instincts are telling you to keep doing it or you would have already given up. Have you seen a lactation consultant and/or gone to a La Leche League meeting or called a leader yet? Look these up in your area they will be very helpful. Some good books also are 'The womanly Art of Breastfeeding', 'The Nursing Mother's Companion', and 'The Milk Memos'. Also, have you tried pumping at home at night while she's nusing on the other breast? Also, if you're using an older, used, or even cheaper pump their motors are only designed to last about 6 months, some less than that. Any effort or even money you have to put into it now will save you thousands on formula and give your daughter priceless advantages in life. Good luck, you seem like a great mommy!

I also experienced a drop in supply when my DD was 4 months old (or at least it felt like I wasn't able to pump enough for my baby to get through a day of daycare). I didn't have luck with the teas, or even the dark beer, although eating oatmeal helped as much as anything. One thing I heard later--after I'd already started supplementing a lot with formula--was that it's pretty common to experience this when baby is around 4 months. Maybe a combination of growth spurt for baby, returning to work, stress/fatigue, or whatever for mom. I breastfed as much as I could for a year, but supplemented with formula from 4 months on. I wish I had known at 4 months that it might be worth trying to get through the growth spurt as best I could (as others said, as long as baby is still gaining weight and is basically happy) before adding formula to the mix. Everyone has different feelings about breastmilk v. formula, and I had/have strong feelings FOR breastmilk. I never felt very happy supplementing with formula as much as I did. But because breastfeeding is supply and demand, if baby got her supply needs met with formula, she wasn't "demanding" as much from me. I tried some things to get my supply back up later, but was too worn down at that point. So, my baby had a fair amount of formula between 4 and 12 months, and I was grateful to keep her drinking enough, but I wish I wouldn't have given in so quickly to formula at 4 months.

By the way, you are doing great!

I didn't read all the responses and am not sure how you feel about breastfeeding. It sounds like it is really upsetting you though and I will tell you to do what is going to work best for everyone. If that means giving up breastfeeding so be it. We have been putting a lot of emphasis on breast is best lately but the biggest point is what is really best for your baby. She got 4 great months and formula has the nutrients and calories she needs no matter what anyone says. You can still pump if you want and bottle feed her that as well as formula.

You need to feel like you are doing your best, she needs to eat and grow. However is easiest and least stressful on everyone is the way to go.

A.,
I have been struggling with this same thing for months!! I have finally committed to only bottle feeding my little girl (now 8 months) and pumping when its convenient during the day and giving her a little bit of breast milk in every bottle mixed with formula. Let me tell you... I have no regrets!! I am still giving her breast milk and she is finally taking a bottle! It was hours and hours of screaming when I went to work when I was nursing because she refused the bottle. I loved breastfeeding when I was home on maternity leave but when I went back to work I felt horrible when she wouldn't eat or I would call home and she would be screaming (I am sure because her mom and the food source was gone). It was devastating for me most days. Please don't feel guilty for stopping and you don't have to stop cold turkey. Just pump as its convenient and supplement. That way you know she is getting enough to eat.
Good luck!!
C.

Hi A.

I think to continue breastfeeding or switch to formula is really your personal choice. But if you want to continue breastfeeding remember that producing more milk is really an issue of supply and demand. If you need more supply you have to breastfeed and/or pump more often throughout the day to get your supply up. Good luck with your decision!

Try a glass of wine or regular beer. 2 gallons of water is is a bit much and could be hurting more than helping . You could be diluting your electolytes too much. Check with your doctor. I hope this gives you something to check into.
T.