Should I Fly Cross Country Prego W/ My Toddler??

I agree with those who say stay home. You don't want to mess up your daughter's sleep schedule for her sake or yours. You are pregnant and need the rest, not the stress of flying with a toddler. Maybe the time apart from hubby will give you and daughter extra bonding time before baby boy comes!

I agree with your daughter's father. She will go back to her schedule after the trip. And definitely car seat. In fact, I think that airlines require them.

Sorry to say but I think you should stay home. I have made two trips cross country with my son lately one at 14 months where we flew alone and the other at 16months with my husband both where terrible! Now granted my son was an angel flying as an infant but a few months makes a world of difference. Think about how hard it is to take a toddler to a restaurant, they have short attention spans, and cannot stay seated for long, now multiply that by several HOURS. Do you really want to put all that stress on yourself and your sweet little girl. Do not fool yourself that she will sleep, she may or may not. And as for the car seat thing, I hauled that sucker around in vain hoping to use it but contrary to what the ticket agent told us most airlines will only let you use seats if you have purchased a ticket for your child (even if the flight is not full!)Our trip was to visit family we had a great time while there but, we went for a month the first time, my son slept with me every nighteven though there was a perfectly good pack n play for him to sleep in. The second time for two weeks. He did not adjust to being away from home and getting him back into the routine
once we returned was not fun either. Other things to think about, Luggage, toys, child proofing this house, eating situations( food, highchair, Bottles, cups)diaper supplies, total change of climate and clothing issues. How much help will your man be to you while you are there and what kind of prenatal care will be available? Really, you and your girl are better off staying home. Make it special time for just the girls before the baby. My spouse is in the military a couple weeks or even a few months will go by faster if you are in familiar surroundings, make videos and phone calls often. It will be okay!
L.

I just flew last month with my husband and our 19 month old daughter and I was also about 6.5 months pregnant at the time. I have to admit, it was horrible! My daughter was miserable on the plane ride, kicking and screaming, etc. Even though I had my husband there to help, it was still extremely stressful, plus my pregnancy hormones didn't help any! We decided after that to NEVER fly with kids again! I wouldn't fly alone if I were you, you're going to have your hands full and that is going to put a lot of stress on your body, which you don't need when you're pregnant. Also a location change, especially overnight, will probably affect your daughter's sleep schedule. If you do decide to make the trip, talk to you OB/midwife first. February 7th isn't very far away... my husband is being deployed, so my daughter has to be without him for 8 months!

J., You should ask you're dr/midwife about flying. It's different for everyone and only he/she knows your condition. You are right that it will probably mess up her sleep patterns because of the time change and being in a different spot. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's good to be flexible, but if sleeping well is new to her this may not be the time. I think the big thing to way out is what's more important to your family, how she sleeps or being together as a family and especially your health with the new baby on the way.

Speaking as a Child Passenger Safety Technician, you absolutely need to bring a car seat. Every child from birth up till four years and 40 pounds needs to be in a child safety restraint. Lap babies are horribly unsafe.

Plane seatbelts are not designed to hold little baby bodies. In turbulence, she could be ejected right out of the seat and sustain serious or fatal injuries. Always use a car seat!

First of all......I think that you will be fine as far as being pregnant is concerned. The airlines don't like you to fly to close to your due date, but where you are only 6.5 months (unless you are a high risk pregnancy), you should be fine. Second...I am not sure where you are flying from (I live in Mass), but the time change is kind of a pain from here to CA. I made the flight from Mass to San Diego in November with my 2 year old. I was surprised at how well she did, but actually she never really changed her sleep pattern....what happened was when we were in California, she wouldn't stay awake past 7pm or 8 pm and would wake up at 4am or 5 am.....she's normally a 9pm bedtime and a 7 am wake up. I am the one who was tired....lol. My advice would be to take a flight during normal sleep times.....if she naps....book your flight for about an hour before so she falls asleep on the plane. Or if you can get a nonstop, book it for about an hour or 2 before she goes to bed at night so again, she will sleep on the plane and will be more likely to stay sleeping or return to sleep after you land. I would definately use the car seat!!!!! No doubt...and I would buy a Go-GO Kidz car seat attachment. It was a life saver. It attaches to the car seat so that you can use it as a stroller and then quickly removes for you to use the car seat in the plane and then again in the car. It is flat so it stores great on the plane....I would highly recommend it...especially for flying alone with a child. You can even push it with one hand so that you can carry your carry-on/diaper bag and purse. Also, get in line early for the flight.....I was late for load one day and it is HORRIBLE trying to get on board with a toddler and car seat when everone else is already boarded!!!

You are absolutely right to definitely get a seat for your 13 month old. I made the mistake of not getting one when I flew with mine and it was a nightmare - especially on a trip that long. The car seat made all the difference in the world - you'll need it in the rental car anyway.

As for traveling cross country. My old job had me traveling around the country constantly when I was pregnant with my 1st. There is a cut off but at 6.5 months you are no where near it. Triple check with your Dr or midwife to make sure they have no issues with it (that you may have hidden health problems, etc).

Lastly - California - warm, New England cold. Go for the warmth of the weather and your hunny's arms. Your daughter will love the extra time with Daddy too.

Good luck!

Hi J., that's good that your daughter has finally gotten the idea about sleep! Since you aren't so keen on flying, I would definitley suggest that you don't go and visit your fiance. It could trigger nerves in your body. After that happens, since you're about 7 months along, it could put stress on your baby. Or even worse, put you into pre-term labor. The chance of you going into labor isn't that great, but anything is possible. Two or three weeks away isn't so terrible. Keep showing your daughter pictures, maybe a webcam, or daily talks on the phone from daddy. My husband is in the military, so we go through this a lot! Also, ask your doctor what he or she thinks. If they tell you that this trip shouldn't be a problem, then try it. As long as you can stay calm and not get too excited before take-off. Since it's been so hard getting your daughter to sleep, you might want to stay home so that her pattern becomes more consistant, and would better prepare her for when the new baby comes. Your fiance needs to understand this and hopefully will choose for the both of you to stay home and be more comfortable. Good luck :)

I'm phobic about flying and flew while pregnant with my husband and 1 year old. Bring the car seat and the stroller. Check the stroller at the gate. Use the car seat in the plane & the rental car. If you're not a good flier, you risk giving your children the experience that flying is scary. Also, avoiding stress while preganant is very important. If you're fiance wants to see his daughter, then get a web camera and chat over the internet. If he's gone for 2 weeks regularly, this trip isn't going to phase your daughter. It sounds more like your fiance is the one troubled by seeing the two of you.
CRose

If you are afraid to fly, that is the 1st problem..you would need to be strong to reassure your daughter and if you cannot do that see if you Mom or someone can come with you. You Doctor will also have to make sure you are up for flying. I flew to CA when I was 7 months pregnant and was told I needed a doctors release to do so (they do not want to deliever babies onboard)

Flying with toddlers can be easy, books, toys ALOT of snacks..(new toys and books that is)they nap, bring favorite blankets, dolls..people do it all the time. We hav enot had any problems, and if she is upset peopel do get over it as most everyone on a plane has been a child!

But I think your main concern is you are afraid..CA is wonderful (my home state) so many places to go and see and it will be WARM..if you can overcome your worries you will see more of the world and be a good example for your kids on traveling.

Good Luck

Hi J.,
I took a trip to Greece when I had a 10 month old and was 6.5 months pregnant. It really wasn't a problem for me flying (I am not afraid tho') but I had to hold my son every minute - the carseat I brought (along with a fullprice ticket!) did not fit in the airplane seat - that was a nightmare. I would definitely recommend a carseat though. Holding my son while he slept on my big bump was a trip needless to say...
He really didn't get off his sleep schedule much at all, but he had a good schedule all along.
Basically, I would worry more about you than your daughter, just because of your fear of flying. Any chance you can get a sibling or parent to go with you? Good luck!

From reading your letter, you sound terrified...I don't think I would do it alone. You have a 13 month old and would need a car seat to haul around on top of the large carry on you would need full of snacks and toys to keep her occupied on such a long trip. You have to take into consideration your stops as well and having to change planes, most likely. I flew at 5.5 months pregnant and I know at the time they weren't allowing women to fly at 6 months on. I also flew with my 5 year old and 2 month old and husband and even with the 2 of us, we couldn't calm the screaming from his ears plugging up. Funny, I am such an optomist normally, but I would probably take the alternative. A lot to think about on this one....perhaps your fiance could take the redeye home to see you on a fri night and go back sunday night....much simpler for him to fly alone and much less expensive! Just a thought

Well.. will you dr. let you fly at 6.5 mos? Will the airline allow it? I know back in 2000 when I wanted to fly at 5 mos to attend a funeral the airlines needed a dr. note approving it. SO before you even get into it.. I would find that out.

If all approved... No biggie. I have three kids and they started flying at 6 weeks. If you have a portable dvd player for your daughter I would bring that. Books... Sippie cup ( empty of course until you get through security). But you will just have to talk the flight up and make it interesting and entertain her... but I usually do not have a problem. Sit near the bathrooms ( and usually you get to board first... ) you may want the front seat near the bathrooms so you can be the first to get off. But it should be good.. I would Check your carseat with your luggage so she has a carseat for the ride from the airport to the hotel or wherever you are staying. But other then that.. don't show her your nervous and you will find that once you do this you will be so proud of yourself ! I hated flying and hated doing things " on my own" because was scared to get lost etc. Just allow extra time and in no time you'll be a pro! Good luck.

Go ahead a fly! I wouldnt fly if i was around 8 mo prego! Thats when there is more of a chance of you going into labor. But check with your airport that you use because some airports have restrictions. And since your daughter is 2 she does have to sit in her own seat like a big girl! So that does mean an extra ticket! But those are the rules of most airports that I fly through! Good luck!

Last year my daughter & I took a trip to Oregon. She was 11 months old and she did AMAZINGLY well. I was really worried since they're so active at that age. She did great with the time change...no problems when returning home. (though it was only for a week) It won't be as bad as you think! A car seat will be VERY useful for you!

Since your first concern is that you are terrified of flying, couple it with traveling with a 13 mo, a car seat and being pregnant, not the best of plans. I would absolutely advise against. The trip may do more harm than good. Three weeks is not long, military families get through 18 month deployments...you daughter will be fine.