Should I Enforce Bedtime? Now My Son Wakes up Too Early!

Updated on August 25, 2010
S.L. asks from Brownsville, TX
13 answers

My 6 year old started 1st grade four days ago. He was home schooled last year so this is his first year going to private school. My husband and I decided to start a bedtime routine with him which included an 8:30-9:00 bedtime. My son has always been like his father, early to bed and early to rise, but now with his new bedtime, he is waking up too early! Ideally, I would like him to wake up at 7:00, eat breakfast, go to the bathroom, get ready, and be out the door by 8:00. Well, he is now waking up between 5:00 and 6:00 in the morning and won't go back to sleep. I'm afraid he will fall asleep in class or space out because he is up so early. Should I continue his early bedtime or should I let him fall asleep on his own? He has always managed to wake himself up between 6:30 and 7:00 and stopped taking naps years ago.
One more thing...since he is waking up so early, everyone is waking up early! My three year old and my eleven month old are waking up because they hear my husband, who is awake by 4:00 most mornings, and my son making noise. Today, everyone was up by 4:30, even my little one in utero!! I'm exhausted!
Thanks Moms!

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

lol - I don't think you should force him back to sleep because then he will probably get back into deep sleep and wake up much later than you want to. Even if he drags, his body will get used to it in time. Have him stay quiet when he gets up.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

My nephew was an early riser and still is. And, if he was awake at 4am, the whole house was going to be up at 4am because he wouldn't stay out of anything. He'd decide to get out the blender or drop a bowl full of cereal and milk all over the floor trying to get himself something to eat.
Why my sister never told that kid to go back to bed, I will never know.
When he stays with me....it's a different story.
Just waking up does not mean that your feet have to automatically hit the floor running, especially at 4am for heaven's sakes.
I would put a clock in your son's room and tell him that he is not to come out until 6:30. He can lay there and stare at the clock if he feels like it, but just because he hears Daddy up, does NOT mean that he, at 6 years old needs to be up waking the rest of the house. Dad is an adult. He is a little boy. Big difference.
I know lots of parents who get up super early because that's the only time of day they have to themselves to be able to pay some bills, write letters, check their e-mail or iron their clothes for work without all the chaos. They take advantage of everyone else sleeping.
Your son has been used to homeschooling so maybe he is really excited to start the day since he likes his new school. There's nothing wrong with that.
But, at 6 years old, most kids are in bed by 8:30-9:00. Unless you live on a dairy farm or have a 3 hour commute, there is no reason for a 6 year old to be up at 4 or 5 in the morning.
Just like you can't force a child to actually sleep at nap time, you can't force him to go back to sleep, but you can get him in the habit of laying there and "resting his bones" as I always called it until 6:30 or whatever time you say.
Him being awake does not mean the rest of the house has to be.
My sister let my nephew decide when everybody had to be up by virtue of blasting the TV or breaking something in the kitchen or the smoke alarms going off because he thought he would cook or do whatever. It backfired horrifically instead of getting him in the habit of staying in his room quietly until it was time to get up.
He's the kind of kid who acts completely amped when he's exhausted, just like a little baby who fights sleep. He started getting in trouble at school, they thought he had hyperactive disorder, Hello! They were letting him get up too darn early.
I work at a hospital and leave for work at 6am. By the time most people are just getting off of work or driving home to start their evening, I'm ready for dinner, a shower and bed.
I think you should enforce bed time, both at night and in the morning.
You can't control when he wakes up, but getting up is a whole different thing.

Just my opinion.
I wish you the best.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

i would put white noise in the other kids rooms. i also would tell your hubby to keep it down or take it outside if he is waking in the midle of the night. the five yr old i would tell to stay in bed untill you go get him that he isnt allowed to get up before then. he might be excited about school right now. the white noise should help the little ones block out the extra noise of the early risers. good luck momma and congrats on your new baby.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

My 6 yo daughter will get up at 6:30 no matter what time I put her to bed, but she is one cranky pain if we make bedtime too late and she gets up even earlier if we make bedtime too early.

We bought a special alarm clock. Bedtime is 8:30 sharp, lights out. Her alarm is set for 6:30, if she wakes before the alarm she must stay in bed, lights off. After her alarm goes off she is allowed to get up and play quietly in her room, read books, color, etc. She is also expected to get herself dressed and ready to go during this time as well. At 7:00 her alarm clock changes color from yellow to green - that is her cue that she can come out of her room and start the day. It's worked wonders for us.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I agree-make it easy for him to get up, watch cartoons or something and grab a bite to eat. Eventually, if he keeps on this schedule, he'll tucker out O. night and snooze in and you'll be all set from there!
Last year (1st grade for us) my son would get up a little too early and by the time he was a few months in--he had it to a science when was the latest he could get up, eat, get ready & go! Hang in there, it will work itself out. I think 9:00 is a good bedtime for 1st grade.

J.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi S. L,

Your son probably is still excited about going to school. He'll probably adjust with time, but here are a few ideas to help that along.

Kids your child's age needs about 10 to 11 hours of sleep a night to do their best each day. It sounds like your morning routine is great. Use a soothing nighttime routine that ends 11 - 12 hours before your son needs to awaken. At the end of the routine, your son should be laying quietly in his bed. It is up to your son and his body to figure out when to sleep once he is there.

Try talking with him about the early morning situation. Does he think he'll miss getting up on time? My middle son was often like that the first days of school until I assured him I'd make sure he got up on time. Even if he used an alarm clock, knowing mom "had his back" let him relax and go back to sleep if he woke up too early.

Does your son know when he is supposed to get up? Can you show him on a clock and encourage him to quietly stay in bed until then?

If you don't see results after a week or so, perhaps he can put a few things near his bed (books and a small flashlight, etc), to quietly look at while waiting for time to get up. If he is really tired, he should drift back to sleep.

Can you isolate the other kids, as mentioned in another post, with a baby monitor and sound machine?

Your son's sleep cycle should re-set itself in time. He just needs time to adjust and, if you want, some encouragement and great ideas from you.

Good luck,
Parent Coach J. B.

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

let him go to bed when he wants to but also let him know that if he falls asleep at school or does not want to get up on time in the morning for school it is back to the other bed time. some people just do not need at much sleep and he may be one of them.

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A.P.

answers from Boston on

I agree with others that he is probably excited (or anxious) about school and that's why he is up so early, its similar to people who can't fall asleep at night because their mind is racing. I bet with time he will sleep later once everything settles down. I'm curious what time he used to go to sleep, since you say 8:30-9 is an early bedtime for him, however you also say he has always been early to bed early to rise ... ? I think kids that age still need a good 9 or 10 hours of sleep so it doesn't sound like he was getting this before.

You should also enforce the rule that he needs to stay in his room and play quietly until a certain time so he doesn't wake everyone up, this is just a matter of learning to live in a large family, he needs to have respect for everyone else.

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A.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I feel your pain! My daughter is only 6 months, but her bed time is 9. Sometimes I cannot get her down until 10 or 10:30, but no matter what time she goes to bed, she still wakes up 5:30-6:00 every morning! I have started putting toys in her crib or letting her lay with me, this way she stays happy, and mostly quiet until about 8. Then by 10 or 11 she is ready for a nap but this does not happen every day. I think it is a good idea to teach him to play in his room quietly until a certain time. It may be difficult but it will be worth it!

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

First, as long as he has a good diet and sufficient exercise, he is probably good at regulating his own sleep duration. My opinion is that that is actually a late bedtime for a child and maybe putting him to bed earlier will actually let him sleep longer - kinda like iwht babies. he may be getting overtired at night. My six year old still sleeps 10-11 hours.

However, he is not a baby. First I owuld give him a clock and tell him what time it is okay to get out of his room. "Don't open your door until the little hand is on the 6" or something like that. Next, I would just tell him if he is awake and you are not, he should play quietly with his toys or books. Maybe set aside some breakfast food for him, something safe like yogurt, and allow him to eat a snack.

Point is, ENFORCE morning behavior that is acceptable. My daughter know tha tthis summer she can't wake me before 7. But if she is up she reads and plays. During the school year we will be up at 6. As for bedtime, shift it around until you get to one is right. Compared to us, 9:00 seems late.

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E.B.

answers from Houston on

I used to tell my son he would have to see a "7" in the first spot on the digital clock before he could leave his room. He was welcome to play quietly in his room before then if he woke up earlier.
Good luck!

C.M.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I think 9 is a little late, however a friend of mine's little boy just started full day kindergarten, and he is getting up about 530, and she was just telling me this, I told her I am sure by week 3 of school, you will be dragging him out of bed. This is a new experience for them, they are excited, ride with for a little bit, but I would try putting in his bed at 8, and lights out at 9?!
Good Luck!

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