Should Almost 7 Year Old Be Present During Euthansia

I am from the camp of let him decide. If you leave him home with a family member he may regret this for the rest of his life. Take him to the vet's office with you and let him decide at the moment. If he wants to stay in the room let him --- if he wants to leave the room and sit in the waiting room let him.

I believe death is a part of life. There should be saddness when someone pet or person dies but never regret.

Sounds to me like he does understand, Let him be there and say goodbye. Yes, he will be upset, but when he is older, he will remember and he will thank you.

I would have my seven year old there if he wanted to be there. I want to teach my children about death. I think it's too taboo, and I feel that without these experiences their expectations will be out of whack with reality.

Death doesn't have to be traumatic. He can provide a beautiful comfort and goodbye to his cat as it slips away. A sad, but beautiful time.

I can tell you I did not have my son (at the time almost 7) present when we had to euthanize our beloved 14 yo cat. Our cat took a turn for the worse while my son was in school, so we had to make the decision. He was so upset about not being there for our cat, and never got any closure. It's 2 years later, and he still talks about him. He said he hopes our cat didn't wonder where he was and why he didn't say goodbye (Oh my goodness, I'm tearing up as I write this!). We swore to never do that again. If he wants to be there and understands what is going on, then let him. He won't be scarred by the experience and in fact, may find it a very loving and peaceful experience.

I think a lot depends on the veterinarian. When our beloved dog had to be euthanized last fall, the vet was wonderful, compassionate, and patient. She gave us time to take the dog outside, where we sat under a tree and just talked to the dog and took some final photos. The vet's office arranged for me to come to the front desk prior to the procedure to settle the bill, so we wouldn't have to stand in line at the desk afterwards. We could leave privately. The vet explained to my daughter exactly what would happen, and gave us time in the office to decide what we wanted to do. My daughter decided she wanted to be there, and that she wanted the dog to be wrapped in her (the dog's) favorite blanket, but she didn't want to be holding the dog. So the vet gently placed the dog on the table wrapped in the blanket, and let my daughter be face to face with her dog, just whispering quietly. That way my daughter did not have to observe the injection of the medication. It was just her and her dog, their eyes locked.

Had the vet (and the entire office) not been so compassionate, patient, and empathetic, I might have made a different decision, but the vet's attitude and the way she talked to my daughter made all the difference.

To our surprise, the actual euthanasia was very peaceful. The vet had told us there might be a gasp from the dog, but really, she was so old and sick she just closed her eyes very peacefully. My daughter was ultimately glad that she could be with her dog during those moments.

I'm sorry that your son will lose his dear cat soon.

I would bring him with to the vet and let the vet explain everything that is going to happen and then let your son decide if he wants to say goodbye and wait in the waiting room or be with his kitty. Let him know ahead of time that either decision is okay with you and with his cat and that you will still be there with the cat if he can't. Sounds like you raised a great little guy! Good luck to you and so sorry about your sweet kitty. This is a rough thing to go through.

why does your husband think your son doesn't understand? it sounds to me as if you've explained it simply and truthfully.
he IS very young. i would probably discourage him being actually present when it happens, although this would change from child to child. my kids could probably have handled it at that age although it didn't come up for them. if yours is particularly sensitive you might choose to say 'you need to say goodbye to misty before we take her to the doctor. we'll bring her body home to bury her, and you can put the note in with her then.'
or if you're not going to bring her body home, he can send it with her.
most of the time euthanasias are pretty peaceful, but it's true that sometimes the animal's instincts take over and there's a struggle, or gaspy breaths. if you think this will distress your son unduly, just say no.
if he's pretty level-headed and very practical, then he'll probably be okay.
my older took things hard, my younger was a scientist from the gitgo. so if this had come up for us, i'd have handled things according to the kid's temperament.
khairete
S.

He wants to be there, so he should be there. You have explained to him what will happen, so he is prepared for it.

I have always brought my kids along when we euthanized our pets.

p.s. Death is a part of life, and it's not always pretty, whether they are euthanized or die at home of natural causes. There is usually shallow breathing and some convulsing before death, when it happens naturally. My euthanized pets have always gone very peacefully, luckily. You can't shield your kid from one of life's big truths. I believe strongly that because he wants to go, he should be able to go. And I am speaking as someone who suffered greatly from not being there for the last moments of loved ones in my life. People have different views and experiences of this subject, but ultimately, your son wants to be there to say goodbye to his cat.

As an ex-veterinary technician I have euthanized hundreds of animals myself. I much say, it is a really peaceful way to go. Much more peaceful than my mother-in-law and Aunt passing away while on hospice as cancer ravaged their bodies.

My now 21 year old daughter was very young when she observed the workings of a veterinary hospital. From about the age of five and up she has been present for all of our euthanasias with one exception. Her guinea pig died when she was 17 while she was away for the weekend and I didn't take the pig to be cremated until she returned. She's the type of person that has to see it, so I showed her.

My far the hardest one on us both was our beloved dog when she was 19, she became ill so fast and we didn't have time to process emotionally. We have never regretted being present.

Is there perhaps a mobile vet in your area that comes to your house to euthanize? There is an organization here in Orlando called Lap Of Love and this is what they do. It costs a little more, but the pet gets to stay in their own home and that may be a comfort to your son if he insists on being there.
I know my 11 year old could not handle it. He would be curious, but he is very emotional so I would discourage him if we were faced with this.
Only you know your son. Go with your gut.

It is a personal decision.

Even as an adult and knowing what to expect, it is still very emotional.

You know your child best.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is very hard when we lose a pet who is a part of the family. We've been through it 3 times. Each time we've taken our dog we've taken a favorite blanket and tried to make them as comfortable as possible. I do believe the pets know. I'll never forget the way they looked at me in the eyes and it was like they were saying thank you.

Our daughter was not at the vet's office when things took place. She was 5 the first time and when she was 10 and 19 she made the choice to say goodbye at home.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

No. Don't do it. Just let him tell his cat goodbye at home. Have a trusted family member stay with him when you take the cat.

There is NO reason why your children should EVER have to witness this. They will remember it for the rest of their lives. Heck, I remember putting down my dog, and I was an adult. I wouldn't want that memory etched into my kids' memories.

My son was almost as old as your son and he loved his dog dearly. He asked to go and I said that this was for adults only. It doesn't matter one bit that your son has asked to come. He isn't an adult and he doesn't understand the ramifications of what he's asking. You, as an adult, can tell him no and you should. There are just some things that children should NOT witness, even if they don't know that they shouldn't.

We had to put down our cat when my daughter as around 10. My regular vet was cold in his dealings with me. Someone recommended their vet. I called and he said he recommends that when children want to be present they do come. He gently explained what he was doing in a kind way.

I suggest talking with the vet to learn how he would handle having your son there.

My daughter was a foster child when this happened. He had been abused. Her CSD worker said that because of her history she recommended against including her. I'm glad I took her with me. She was mostly curious how this would happen. She wasn't emotionally upset. She pet the cat and said goodbye. The difference between your son and my daughter is that this cat wasn't hers although she had been with this cat for 3 years. She wanted to get another cat shortly after. This cat was hers.

So sorry for your whole family. Been there; done that. Cried buckets.

FWIW, there's no one right way to do this, no right answer. Go with your gt. Keep in mind, this is your decision, not your son's. I'm sure you'll make the best one you can for your family.

Hug.

We had our DD say good bye after the first shot, but was not there for the final one. Let him make the call, and be prepared to take him aside.

ETA: It does very much matter on the circumstances. We had a very kind vet come to our home. He was gentle with all of us and very kind. DD and I went to another room for the final shot but DH and SD stayed with him.

if it were my son, I would allow him the chance to be there for his animal. My son was 8 when he lost his first pet. He was upset that he didn't "see" the animal before we buried it. I had put his guinea pig in a shoe box and he buried it with my husband and I. I didn't think he wanted to see him after he passed( I thought it would be scary).

If he understands what will happen, and what his cat will look like once she passes, I would let him come and say goodbye.

Oh this is so difficult. I am sorry you are going through this. It's so hard to know how a kid is going to handle it.

One option to consider is having him there to talk to the vet and have him/her explain this in "doctor terms". The vet has more experience with this than you do, and may actually be able to help assess the situation. You can still have the option of your son saying his final goodbye in the veterinary room, and be able to go out to the waiting room (perhaps with Dad or you) at the last minute if that's indicated.

One of the terms I've heard vets use is "we help the animal to die without pain instead of the way she is about to die, which is in pain." It's better than "euthanize" for some kids, and far better than "put down" or "put to sleep" for many other kids.

Our son was away at college when his dog died (similar to your situation - 14 and cancer, but she died on her own, in our arms, before we had to call the vet to do it). It was very hard for him to be away, and I still have the image in my mind of him saying his final farewell to the dog before going back to school after spring break, knowing she would not live till the end of the semester. It was awful for him - and granted he was much older than your son. Good friends of ours just went through this 3 days ago, and their 2 kids were in the room, but they are older as well.

Some things you might consider - and discuss - are taking additional photos with him and the cat (maybe making a special frame or a photo collage/memory book), what you will do about burial/cremation, and what sort of permanent marker or ceremony you will have if any (we made our own gravestone with a craft kit for stepping stones, other people plant a tree or bury the ashes with a cat toy, etc.). Also discuss what your views are about heaven, if you believe in it, or discuss a "back to the earth" cycle of life philosophy. There's a little story you can find on line called "The Rainbow Bridge" that talks about pets going to a place of no pain and being their young playful selves. For some people it's schmaltzy, for others it is helpful. You might also ask the children's librarian for some good books to read with your son to help him through this. Then there's the decision about what to do with the cat's supplies - you might pack them away for a future cat, you might donate them to a shelter, etc. We donated many of our dog's things, gave a few to friends, kept her collar and tags for ourselves, and donated leash/bowl/toys to the shelter. That can be difficult but also therapeutic - sometimes knowing the kitty's things have a second chance with needy animals can be helpful in thinking the cat is having a second life.

Whatever you do, please be on the same page as your husband (and he with you) so you can be a solid resource and comfort for your child.

Wishing you well.

I've had lots of animals put to death. I have never been present. I couldn't imagine letting a child witness it.

I don't really know how to tell you what to do. And I never thought I was a super duper pet person, but perhaps you will understand how I felt when I read all the other posts. Perhaps this is your answer.I cried.

This is a bit of a coincidence because we *just* put our kitty down on Saturday. I am still pretty raw from the ordeal. We found out she was sick just a few weeks back and now she's gone. :(

Anyway, we told our 6-year-old that kitty was sick and M. die. When we received word from our vet that our kitty was not going to make it and suffering pretty badly, we told our daughter that she was going to die. We did not tell her about euthanasia and she didn't ask. She did ask about cremation because she knows we will be scattering her ashes next week, and I answered her questions honestly but briefly, and I explained over and over again that our kitty's soul would have moved on from her body and not feel any pain because her heart did not work anymore and never would again.

I took her to be euthanized by myself, very early in the morning. We tried to make her last day as comfortable and sweet as possible, with plenty of love and treats (whatever she would eat). That morning in the vet's office I brushed her and petted her the whole time and pretty much burst into tears afterward. The whole day was a bit miserable. I don't think a child that young is ready for that type of confrontation with death, but you know your son better than I do. IMO most kids do well with straightforward information given to them "on their level", meaning, less is more.

I'm sorry about your kitty. :(

Euthanasia can be pretty rough to watch. I've had to euthanize 3 dogs over the years, and even the most recent one (which was the only time the procedure went relatively smoothly) I was glad that my kids were not there. One dog fought being restrained for the procedure, making the whole thing feel like an execution. The other two dogs remained alive after the first injection and required a second. All very sad and wrenching experiences.

If your husband can come along with you so that one of you can go in with the cat and the other stay with your son, you might consider letting your son say goodbye in the waiting room, then letting him go in for a final goodbye after his cat has passed. Still very emotional, but sparing him the actual death.

I'm so sorry that your family and kitty are going through this. Peace to all of you.

Please no, let children be children. He "may be very mature" but he is still just a child. Let him be one for as long as he can. He will remember that sight and feeling of watching his beloved cat breathe his last breath. He will forever have that memory.

My children were 12 and 7 when we put our dog down. They knew she was sick and they understood that she could die soon. The day we decided to put her down we told the girls that we were taking her to the vet to "take a look". My husband came home without her. The girls were sad and they cried but the remembered our dog as she was, not in her final moments.

They now know (they are 19 and 16) and they are very grateful I did not put them through that.

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE HIM.

B.

No, awful idea, please don't expose him to that! Your husband is 100% right!!!

Ask your son if he wants to be there and honor his wishes.

Sorry to hear this - so hard. We lost our beloved pet a little while back - we had to euthanize her also.

I don't want to upset you, but I will warn you because it's your son - it's not always as peaceful as you would hope (as Nika said below). I am glad my kids weren't there.

I was quite upset and I'm glad my kids didn't see me break down. I wouldn't have been able to console them all at that moment - so I'm glad I had a few minutes before seeing them all.

You can definitely take them to the vet and have him say goodbye in a private room, and let the vet handle things. I think if he wants to go, that would be my suggestion. My sister and her daughter did that for their pet, and it was a peaceful goodbye.

I know it's really hard. Ultimately, maybe your vet could advise you best on what to expect and what they tend to recommend.

Yes she should be. She can step out when the vet administers the "pink stuff," but she should be there to say goodbye. It's not going to hurt her, and death and understanding death is a major developmental milestone at that age.

My daughter was 7 when we had to euthanize our dog. She was so very sick and they pretty much picked her up (had to do so by cart) and took her to the back. Our daughter did not watch, however, she did not ask to go either.

I would try to see if he would rather read the not to his cat in his last moments with his cat. Maybe the cat would rather hear his voice last.

Best wishes.