She Is Almost 2 Years Old!!! Help!!!

I have 4 kids and only the first one was off the bottle at 1 year. The second was still on when he was 3, but only when he was laying down. The 3rd, went off the bottle easy enough, but then stole a paci from my niece and was on that for about 6 months. My baby is almost 2 (in November) and she still takes the bottle to go to sleep. I dont let her have it all the time, only when she's gonna sleep or is extremely upset. Only let her take it when she is laying down. Doesnt matter if its daylight or dark, she has to lay down in her bed to take the bottle. It gets REAL old for them to lay in bed all the time just to take a bottle. That worked for my son (the easy one). Dont know that Ive been any help, but I dont think its anything to freak out about.

Since she is getting older tell her the consequences. Also take a day off and combine it with a weekend. Be firm but dont give her the bottle. Even if she cries all night. I promise you she wont. Plus if you arent against medicating give her some benedryl and she will fall asleep. I just had to be forceful with my daughter.

You are going to have to just get rid of them. one way you could do it is take her to the store and let her pick out a toy or stuffed animal she could sleep with in place of the bottle. And have her trade the cashier her bottle for the toy. Ie her "paying" for it with her bottle.This is sometimes done with pacifiers. When she starts asking for it remind her that she traded her bottle for the toy and talk about what a big girl she is,babies use bottles not big girls and we are a big girl right! Make sure it's very positive!

Have you tried the Nuby sippy cups? My daughter transitioned right at 1 with those and we never used a bottle again.

If those didn't work and you are adamant about not using the bottle, I would suggest you start on a Friday and that way sleep won't be as much as a factor and maybe by Sunday, it will be easier!

M.,

I was still nursing my son at night at his 1 year check up and the doctor said I had to stop. I was in the same boat as you as far as it was just easier to nurse him so I could sleep rather than listen to him cry for over an hour until I would give in anyway. What finally had to happen was that my mother in law offered to let me sleep while she got up and soothed him. She did this for 3 nights for me and broke him of the habit. I owe her a lot! Do you have a close friend or relative who can do the same for you? That way you won't lose too much sleep and your daughter will get off the bottle. She is trained to have it and even though she will cry the first couple of nights, kids are so resilient that she will get through it!
Good luck!

You might want to check out the book "How to Solve your Child's Sleep Problems" by Ferber. I used it with my 4 month old and I remember there being chapters on how to handle sleep issues with toddlers.
Good luck!!

Don't panic. There's no need to feel the "bad mom" guilt because you have allowed her a bedtime comfort item.
Don't worry about having to "show her who's boss" or "Show her you're the rule-maker."

Plenty of toddlers continue to wake up at night and nurse, which isn't all that different. (Other than you having to wake all the way up and go downstairs.)

You're a dental hygienist, so you can tell better than anyone if your daughter's teeth are doing OK. When you brush her teeth in the morning, you no doubt can inspect MUCH more thoroughly than most moms. Is it possible to clean the teeth or at least wipe them with a wet washcloth after the milk and before she falls asleep? Or gradually water down the milk with water?

The following link has lots of advice on what *pediatricians* have to say about nighttime bottles, and it's probably not as bad as you think.

http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/160294.html

And while it's excellent to have the goal of no milk after teeth-brushing, you can do this gradually. Humans *did* manage to survive for thousands of years without toothpastes and toothbrushes at *all*, and you KNOW those toddlers were nursing at night. So brushing her teeth well a couple times a day (especially by an expert dental hygienst) is already LOT better than that. (I'm not saying don't worry, keep doing everything the same. Just, take it slowly and don't panic, especially if her teeth still look healthy.)

i think you just have to throw the bottles away and stick to your guns...and be consistent...she'll fight it, but sooner or later she'll be thirsty enough to give in...maybe try and replace the bottle with some other form of comfort item, since at this point, it's just habit for her...like a pacifier...tell her that big girls that are two don't use bottles, and let her help you pick out some new cups...and then "send the bottles to other babies who need them"...good luck!

Dear M.,
I feel for you. What I did with my children, as I tried to wean them from milk/formula, was to gradually increase the amount of water I added to the milk. I began by just putting a little water in the bottle first - not so much as to be extremely obvious to their taste buds. Then about every third or fourth day, I would increase the amount of the water, thus decreasing the amount of milk. If my memory serves me correctly, I did it at about 1/8 at at a time. It took a few months to get down to just water or to something that was not so tasty anymore, but it did work.
If you choose this method, you may have to provide her with other sources of calcium during the day, so that she doesn't catch on that she is getting the old, familiar thing during the day, and something else at night.
Good luck!
R.

I have to agree with Martha on this one I know its easier said than done but a couple of sleepless nights will be hard but it might be the only way. Trust me, my daughter was extremely stubborn when I tried to wean her from breastfeeding to using the bottle. I felt bad for the longest but it took my mom to finally tell me that I didn't have a choice I am in the military and had to return to work in a week. My mother told me to solely offer her the bottle and nothing else. Finally after about a day of much crying between the both of us she broke down.
Since your daughter is older it will take a little longer but it can be done. The idea of trading her baby item for a big girl item is a good idea. I've used that one on my daughter also, now that she is 4 years old it makes it easier for her to give up "baby toys". You might try that one on your daughter, gather up all of her bottles and let her give all of them to the babies that need them. She'll feel good about herself and you'll win. Also maybe try a cup with her favorite character on it. Be strong Mommy.....You can overcome this and many other wonderful things to come.

Hi M.

I am not sure if this will help but, this is the routine at my house...

between 5 adn 5:30 pm: Dinner

7:30: yogurt and cup of water

8:00ish: bath

followed by a book and then bed.

We were able to take the bottle away by substituting a snack before bedtime. My girls brush their teeth while I lotion them and get them dressed for bed. It has worked very well for us. The snack holds them over through the night. Normally they sleep all night...but they are kids and wake up some as well. When this happens, I just lay them back down, cover them up, or give them their favorite doll. They go right back to sleep.

Start watering her milk down a little at a time. First, do mostly milk, with a little water, and each night add a little more water, and a little less milk. By the end of 3 or 4 weeks, you should be almost all the way to full water, and then, to no milk at all. After that, I'd let her have the bottle of water. The harm done to her teeth now, is worth the comfort it'll bring her now, in my opinion. Many of us needed braces regardless. Good luck to you!

You will have to suck it up this weekend and just throw them all away. You must throw them away in the garbage can outside so you don't try to get them in a weak moment. It will be hard for a few days but tha tis what you have to do. She is a big girl and you need to tell her that. Time to give it up.
Sometimes they have to cry. Remember you are the parent not her friend.

You are certainly not alone. Most of my children still took a bottle (usually of water) until they were well past one. I have had seven, and only one, my youngest, transitioned quickly to a sippy cup (he is 18 months and been using a sippy for several months). My friend's dd is close to 3 and she just FINALLY got her off a bottle.

Transitioning during daylight hours is much easier than at bedtime. If you slowly make her drink from a sippy cup during the day, using the bottle less and less, she will naturally transition to using it all the time.

Getting her used to going to bed without milk is a separate matter. She may wish to continue having milk to go to sleep with. You could try watering it down, every night making it a little more water than milk. This will take at least two weeks or more, so be patient.

If your primary concern is tooth rot, I have opinions on that topic. I realize you are a dental hygienist, and I am painfully aware of the mantra we are all taught about babies and teeth rot. However, many times, tooth rot is hereditary; parents with numberous fillings usually have children with numerous fillings. Parents who have infants with tooth rot often blame the bottle, but in fact, they provide a constant stream of junk food and candy to the child, which is far more caustic to their teeth than their nighttime bottles.

5 out of my first 6 children have excellent teeth (and most went to bed with bottles). You are going to cringe, and no I don't recommend this, but here's the truth: they brushed when they remembered. I have never brushed an infant's teeth. They usually begin brushing their own teeth around age 3 or 4. We don't buy a lot of junk food, but I do let them have dessert several times a week. I did not take them for regular cleanings because I simply did not have the money to do so. You would expect my kids would have had terrible teeth, yes? My 23 yr old got her first cavity at age 21. My 18 yr old had one filling when she was about 8; she didn't have to have any more until this year. My 17 yr old had a baby tooth pulled due to a cavity. My 15 yr old and 7 yr old haven't had a cavity yet. So, 5 kids, 17 years, 1 filling.

Then there's my 11 yr old and his rotten molars. He had two root canals at age 4 to preserve his 13 year molar spaces. When his adult teeth came in, the molars again rotted quickly. The dentists I took him to all sang the same song: "He obviously eats too much sugar and doesn't brush often enough." When I told them his brushing and sugar consumption was the same as his siblings, they basically called me a liar. Politely. Praise the Lord I finally found a dentist who knew a different tune!

He now has about 8 fillings, 7 of which are molars. Our current dentist said some children are simply more prone to cavities. Some children have more acidic saliva, some less acidic. My orthodontist told me when I was 15 the reason I didn't have cavities was because my saliva content protected my teeth. (I got my only cavity several years ago at age 33.) Because the bulk of my son's are molar, it is likely his crevices are deeper than normal, making it almost impossible to clean and preventing even saliva from properly rinsing away sugar deposits. Had he eaten no sugar and brushed every 6 hours, he probably would still have had as many molar cavities.

All that to say this: Sometimes it is more traumatic than it is worth to take a child off a bottle. Yes, I think sippy cups are a great idea. Yes, I think children should brush their teeth. But typically, parents allow their children entirely too much junk food and sugar. If you are one who has no problem with a constant stream of cookies, donuts, Little Debbies, candy, etc. then your child may develop cavities, but I wouldn't blame her bottle. If you make sure her snacks are things like veggies, and keep cookies and candy for a one-time treat every other day or so, then the bottle dependency shouldn't be a cause for alarm. That said, I would still start transitioning. Slowly is the best way to handle it - don't panic. It will be less traumatic for you and for your dd.

See if Elizabeth Panley's No Cry Sleep Solution has some tips you could use. http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071444912.php

She's taking the bottle for 'comfort', many children use sucking as comfort. You can transition this to a blanket or something else. If it helps, you could offer her one of your sleep shirts, so she has your smell. That's always helps my baby sleep longer.

You don't have to let her cry it out to solve this situation or 'show her who's boss'. Many hugs for both of you.

Okay, M., call me crazy, but I saw on the show "Supernanny", she came up with the "Paci Fairy" for kids who would not let go of the pacifier. She had them help pack up all the pacifiers put them in a box or bag etc. You could let her decorate it with stickers bows etc. Have her put all the bottles, rings, nipples etc in there. Then you have her (or you -- I can't remember the mentality of a two year old to know how much she will understand) put them on the porch right before bed. If she cries, keep reminding her that the bottle fairy is going to come and get them. You can let her look out the window to watch for the fairy as she cries. When she finally passes out, you sneak out there and take that box right to the trunk of your car for Goodwill, and then you decorate the whole porch with sparkles, ribbons, bows etc. I have boys, so I am not good at the fairy thing. Leave her a nice "lovey" to sleep with from the fairy (doll, stuffed animal, blanket, fancy new sippie cup or whatever) with a thank you note. She is still going to cry, but at least this way there is a distraction in the meantime!

I have heard that it works. Then you have to follow through by taking the box to donate it right away so neither of you will be tempted to relapse, and if you are, you won't have the goods to do it.

On another note, I agree with changing to a sippie cup. You know already that there should only be water in there at night, so I won't tell you that. If she won't go for water, I would switch to skim milk at night to start the process of changing to water. One thing at a time!

Good luck.

Hi M.,

This is where you need to let her know (by actions) that you are the rule in the house. You can let her cry but you will have to endure that for a while but she will get over it and forget about it. I did that with my daughter when she was a year old I took away her pacifier and let me tell you that thing was such a comforter for her but I had to endure the crying and yes, I am single Mom with another daughter who was 9 at the time and we lived in one room as a single mom family. But I had to do it when she was young or else it would be harder later on. You will have to tough it out but it will pass, I promise. We shouldn't give in to our kids just because they cry- then they will know how to push our buttons.

I don't want to offer advice. I just want to let you know that you are not alone. We are going through the same thing and our daughter is 27 mos. We were able to switch her to water at night when she was close to 2, but not without a fight, so the thought of taking the bottle away from her and going through the battle again wears me out just thinking about it. The way I see it is that my daughter is going to be fine. Eventually she will give up the bottle and we'll all move on with our lives. She is a happy, healthy, well-behaved, cared-for child and this one little "issue" in our lives will pass without real detriment to anyone. She is finally getting to the age where we can really reason and communicate with her and she can verbalize what she's feeling, so we plan to try and reason with her again soon. Until then she will have a bottle at night because everyone gets to sleep and everyone's happy. (I have a baby who still wakes up in the middle of the night, so I understand the need for sleep.)
Good luck to you and don't stress. You and your daughter will figure how to work this out in your own time.

Hello M.: My daughter went through a similar issue with her sippy cup. She did not use a pacifier or have a special blanket, nor did she ever suck her thumb. Her bottle/sippy cup was her calming item. I started to add water to her milk (very little amounts so she would not notice). She started to get used to the watered down taste, eventually. When she made a comment about the taste, I would stick to the amount I had added for a few days. Eventually we were down to just a tiny amount of milk (just to cloud the water). In a short time, she was on water only in the sippy cup.

My daughter is 4 and still goes to bed with a sippy cup. She rarely drinks anything, but if she wakes in the middle of the night, she takes a small drink and it calms her allowing her to fall back to sleep. We have never had issues with bed wetting because her liquid intake was limited before bedtime.

I know you have received many different opinions about this. Hope one of them work for you and your child.

I didnt have this problem in particular but I do have a suggestion, (other than the great ones you got already!) You didn't mention a bedtime routine? so I had to start one with my son, we would read, he HAD to stay in bed, after the cuddle time, I would sit on the floor at the end of his bed, no touching, talking or anything, just there to put him back in bed if he tried to get out (again with no talking other than BED or SLEEP) and did that for quite some time, but he eventually got it, so I thought maybe you could apply it to your situation. GL either way!

Let her have it at bedtime, but not in the middle of the night (for your own sanity). That's a compromise everyone should be able to live with. She'll give it up when she is ready.

It sounds like she is in a routine now. You've probably already tried this, but try giving her a high calorie snack before bed time and maybe she won't wake up hungry. I noticed my son didn't wake me up nearly as often when he had a very full tummy.

Does she sleep with a pacifier? I'm sure at her age you don't want that but that may help change her routine.

Good luck!