Sharing Happy News!!!

Updated on December 16, 2015
S.B. asks from Spring, TX
11 answers

I wanted to share with everyone, our son is getting married! He asked his girlfriend last week and she said YES. He took her to the town square under the pretense of taking Christmas photos. He had his tripod set up and took some photos. He then got on one knee and asked her to marry him. We have the photo and its awesome! So stinking cute!!! We like her very much and are thrilled. This is our first wedding of our children. Our daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years. YAY! Whole different story for later.

So my question, if you have been a MOG, please let me know what we need to do. I have read some of the books but wanted to get some first hand knowledge. The wedding will be in Kentucky since that is where they live and will probably be in May or June 2017.

I want to be as active or inactive as she and her mother want me to be. I have already told my son that I want to have a positive relationship with her and I don't want to be "that" mother in law. =)

What can I do next?

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answers from Appleton on

Traditionally the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner. The groom pays for the brides bouquet, the brides parents pay for the rest of the flowers.
Start shopping for your dress as soon as possible. Try to find a dress to blend in with the bridal colors, but not match. It will be a lot easier to select the flowers for your corsage if they know the color of your dress.
Best advice... ask the bride and her parents what they want you to do. They may want you to be very involved and they may just want you to do only what is necessary.
Ask about the guest list.. how many people they want to invite and if it should include extended family. I remember when I got married his family asked about the guest list and my Mom said aunts, uncles, and cousins. When I met my MIL's aunt later I asked why she wasn't invited to the wedding and my MIL said she didn't think she was included. My family includes EVERYBODY, his family didn't realize I meant all of them. So ask specific questions.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

I will be MOG someday I hope as Mom to two boys;) My MIL was great at this - she and my father in law came to where we live to see the church and reception site. This is despite the fact that we live in Florida and they live in Virginia! My husband looked at different options for rehearsal dinner and picked one with his parents and they handled that completely. My MIL got out her wedding album and her daughter's wedding album so I could see how weddings are done in their family. My MIL and FIL came to our couples shower (it was in Florida). My MIL asked my mom what she would be wearing and then followed her lead (wearing a dress that was same type of style but different color). Basically, have open conversations, keep your opinions to yourself unless asked and be helpful - prompt when asked for something and follow through with what you agree to do.

Congratulations!!!! Best wishes to the couple!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Amarillo on

Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials. Follow the lead of the bride and her mother. Just remember that this is the "bride's" day.

You are there but more so in a supportive rule for your son as he prepares to leave the nest. There may come a time or two during the day that you may feel a little sad because you do not have a major role but just enjoy the day. Also enjoy the mother/son dance and chat with him and tell him how proud you are of him and so forth. My son said to me during the dance "thank you, mom, for everything.' I thought I would never hear those words out of his mouth. He has been married now for six years.

He will probably be closer to the bride's family after the wedding than you guys but it is all good.

the other S.

PS I have pictures of the wedding venue and the Rocky Mountains in the background. It rained that day and stopped long enough to have the ceremony outside and then we were covered by an outdoor pavilion and could watch the rain come down again.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

No advice. Just wanted to say congratulations!

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answers from Boston on

Congrats!!! I've only been the mother of the bride (twice) and all I can say is that neither of the mog offered to help at all. We had a couple craft sessions to put things together and they decided not to come and participate.

If you haven't met her parents yet then have your son and his wife to be set something up. Discuss their plans and help set a budget with who is paying for what. Things have changed quite a bit so the bride's parents paying for everything.

As far as having a positive relationship with her remember that she will never think of you as a parent but rather a friend. I have a good relationship with both my sils because I don't overstep. I keep my opinions to myself because I remember how terrible it felt to have everything I did for my children questioned by my mil.

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answers from Rochester on

Congrats! If they will be serving wine at the reception I can recommend a fabulous Kentucky wine! Horseshoe Bend Winery in Willisburg is awesome!

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answers from Miami on

Not in your position yet, but just want to say a big congrats!!! How exciting!

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answers from Wausau on

Ask them. :-)

What kind of wedding do you want? Are there things you'd like me to do?

If you offer financial support, it would be in your best interest to offer a set dollar amount and not a vague 'we will pay for _____' or the cost might be out of control and cause conflict.

Regardless of past traditions from when kids used to leave theri parents home and go directly to the marital home, no parent is obligated to pay for anything. Two independent adults should plan a wedding that they can afford to host.

You don't sound like the type to do this, but if you offer money, do it with no strings or expectations. My husband and I paid for our own wedding and declined financial help from all of our parents. We'd witnessed how things could go wrong with our friend's weddings when parents felt their financial support somehow bought them the right to have opinions and force their will upon the couple. I have no idea if any of our parents would have done it, but we decided to leave the door closed and not present an opportunity.

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answers from Dallas on

How exciting!! I have no experience with this step but so excited for you!!

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answers from Washington DC on

aw, this is wonderful! thank you so much for sharing this joyful news with us!
:) khairete

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on


I don't have any pearls of wisdom for you right now ---just wanted to send you and your family some well wishes

1 mom found this helpful
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