Shared driveway.....accident Tonight!!!

Updated on April 16, 2012
T.M. asks from Havertown, PA
19 answers

I am up now shaking, i think i jinxed myself. Another bad accident hit our telephone pole. Very nice girl, think she fell asleep, but car parts are all over my lawn, and air bags smell by the way! Yet another tow truck that has to probably use my driveway to get a totaled car out of here. This is exactly why i would rather use my driveway than park across and down the street....and have myself, family and friends cross here! So....my question is, do you forgive me for blocking my shared driveway because we feel it is safer? :(

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So What Happened?

I am not kidding, i am listening to the tow truck as we speak. Positive is, i met the new neighbors :(

Mom's i pass blocked shared driveways around here all of the time. I am not the only neighbor that thinks it was ok. Please stop bashing. I get the point. I will not do it again. Do you know that some of you really are mean. You dont have to be so mean to get your point across. To the ones that were not so brutal, thank you so very much. I am having a down time lately and this was hard for me. I usually have thick skin. Oh, well. It is over. Can we move on and be nicer.

ps i will never admit my faults on here again....egad!

Featured Answers

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

No because it is a SHARED driveway. The other person has a right to use it whenever without asking.
Is there anyway to put another driveway in?

More Answers

C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

T., the accident is no excuse to inconvenience your neighbor. In your prior post you said that you have extra space behind your homes. From your previous posts' SWH: [ "...the shared driveways lead to the back area where you can park one car. We each have our own back area (where the kitchen door is). Hers has been expanded into her yard to fit 3 cars. My grandfather poured crushed stone into part of our grass so that my husband could fit and i park in the spot near kitchen door."] So, what has this accident/lack of safety on the street got to do with you blocking the driveway or allowing your guest(s) to block it? If your neighbor has room for 3 spots then you should too. Rather than look for ways/reasons to make it okay to block the driveway, figure out a way to get more crushed stone for your yard to allow at least one more vehicle. Best wishes.

10 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Unfortunately, this incident doesn't change my opinion.

I'll bet if you had to ask your neighbor to move every time you or husband had to get out, you'd get tired of it pretty quickly!

So......nope.
No blocking her in.

9 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

i get where you are coming from but i still think it's wrong to block her in. you say yourself that she's asked you to move a couple times - that should have been your hint. it's really not ok to block your neighbor in. i would have been mortified if someone had to come to me and clarify "can you not block me in - EVER?" i hate stuff like that, but i'm with her. if i had asked you to move more than once, and you still continued to park there, i'd feel the need to specify since you obviously weren't getting it. you're lucky she was so nice about it.

if you own could you widen the driveway on your side to make more room?

8 moms found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Sorry..i know what you want to hear...but you are still wrong.
i am speaking from your neighboors perspective, because our neighboors think their needs are so much more important.
we have lived here five years, had good relationship with previous owners of the house, and had no issues with the shared drive way.
It is supposed to be for loading and unloading only... they have parked their and have visitors park their from day the moved in. They refused to move them at all claiming they "owned" the driveway. WE showed them paperwork, they got their own copy from court house before they agreed to move at all.
We agreed to let them park one car, as far up the driveway as they could and to the side, they claim to have disability... fine. But now the boyfriend lives there too... and he parks side by side with the girl, and has blocked our fence so we can not even open it. We go over , tell them to move, they will do it for a few days and right back to two cars. It is annoying. It is selfish.. it is rude. Your reason does not matter... you are inconvincing her and my guess is is she had her friends did same to you , you would be raising holy hell.
if your street is really THAT dangerous... you should be contacting the community or police.. do you need speed bumps? more stop signs? what is the problem?
YOu need to suck it up and expand your parking area behind your house if you want to be able to fit more cars.

7 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

If you don't want to park on the street I would consider this a wake up call to expand your parking in the rear.

There is really not a good reason to block someone else's access to their parking area.

I live on a street that you cannot park on or your car will get hit. It is just a strange street. I had to build gravel spaces when my kids were still at home to keep their cars safe. It looked like poo but it kept them safe.

You need to stop thinking of that as a shared driveway, it is a one lane parking access that runs between the buildings. Parking access, same as a private street.

6 moms found this helpful
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R.A.

answers from Wausau on

sorry you were still wrong. It Doesnt matter what is safest, what matters is what is right. It's not your part of the driveway to park in. Simple. Maybe you need to go to a city council meeting and get others involved?

Look at the situation in a different perspective and maybe it will sink in that it's not right:

Lets say you put your garbage out every week with only a few bags in it, but your neighbor always has a full dupster and throws bags into your dumpster. You are both paying for the dumpsters (Hers through rent your through property taxes). It only happens once in awhile but after your dumpster goes out, you do a massive cleaning and have 2 more bags to throw out. BUT when you take them to the dupster yours is overflowing!! So you have to go to the neighbors and say "Can you please remove a couple bags out of my dumpster so I can have room for my other trash"

It doesnt matter the scenario, You can't use something that is not your without asking.

6 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

No. You're still not right to block a shared driveway. You are looking for an excuse for being a bad neighbor. It's really awful that the street you live on isn't safe, but that doesn't mean you can inconvenience someone else. How about expanding your parking space in your backyard like your neighbor did?

If everyone thought like you, people would all park in the handicap spaces at the grocery store (it's more convenient!), they would leave their cars in the drive lanes of the school parking lot to go pick up their kids (it's safer so the kids don't have to cross any traffic), etc. We can all find reasons to justify our poor behavior. But that doesn't make it right. You need to stop having your friend block the driveway. And stop making excuses.

5 moms found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

Where your friends park is not your concern. They don't have to visit you. You could visit them. If they are coming over, then they need to take their chances on the street.

Look, we have a long driveway and enough room for 2 cars at the bottom of the hill and one in the garage. When my daughters boyfriend comes, we squeeze 3 cars in there. We get frustrated with each other if any of us park at the top of the hill because we think we are going someplace else. When we come back and find someone in the driveway, we get irritated waiting for the other to move their car. This is a FAMILY inconvenience. How much worse would it be to have to try and knock the door and get the neighbors to come out. What if they don't answer? What if they are in the shower? If it's not nice in a family, it's really NOT OKAY for neighbors to do it.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

It is a shared driveway. You have to work it out with your neighbor.

I, too, have a shared driveway. My neighbor and I have spent quite a bit of time working out how to handle it. Final solution is that both of us park on the street and only use the driveway to load and unload or to wash our cars.

If both of you are able to park at the end without blocking the other then you have it easier than we do. There is no way either of us can park without blocking the way out for the other. Your post is not clear. You said she can park on the side. Can you? If so both can park but both have to keep the actual driveway clear so that the other can get out.

5 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

I think YOU need to expand and fix YOUR parking, not rely on taking her spot. This is your problem, not your neighbor's problem. She already TOLD you to STOP.

There is no excuse for talking her spot. Fix your own problem.

3 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

When you say you block your own driveway, is it a single-width driveway or a double-width? If it is single-width I don't see how too many can fit so you may be limited to one car for you and one for your neighbor and someone is ALWAYS blocked. If it is double-width, I think you each have a side of the driveway and what you do on that side is up to you...meaning if you let someone park behind you that is fine but you shouldn't block your neighbor because that is their side.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

No, you still can't park in a shared driveway. It is just not fair to your neighbor however you try to justify it.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I would try to get out I such an unsafe area. What if you kids were outside when an accident happened? Also you still can't park in a shared space because she might need to leave in a hurry. I would be pissed off as well if I had to ask my neighbor just to drive out of my house. I see some others advising to add more area to park. That's another idea, especially since you most likely can't use your front lawn due to danger of an accident. Make it all in to parking then you have plenty of room to park :)
Just to clarify: The drive way is the only way to get from parking area to street right? I think some people don't get what this means. It's not a parking drive way, it's like a private road leading to your parking spaces right? I don't want to say don't park there if I am imagining your set up wrong! Again. It sounds super annoying and I would not want to deal with it if I were you too. I like having plenty of parking :)

2 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Use your shared driveway! You own it!

**I read some other people's responses and am baffled by their responses that you are the one in the wrong. It's shared and you said you own your half of the house and this woman's parents own the other half. She's a renter, you're an owner. How can a renter tell you what to do with a shared driveway that you both use? She can use and block it but you can't? Sure, expand it if there's room and money. Sure, contact the other owner and ask them to do the same. Do not allow them to be in charge. If it's not to be blocked then ON ONE should EVER block the driveway. If she does, call a tow truck. It's not right. I've lived in the same situation and it's ridiculous to have the other tenant dictate how things will be. And other posters think you're still wrong because you don't want to park in a dangerous area? What are you suppose to do until you're financially able to expand your driveway? It is what it is and the lady next door will have to suck it up until you're able to make a change. Sorry. This is a safety issue, not a control issue. She rarely leaves the house but wants it open "just in case"? You accomodate her and do good deeds for her on top of it. She'll be fine until the issue can be resolved. Period.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

2 moms found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Allentown on

Your questions was do we forgive you? We don't have to, you didn't do anything to hurt or offend any of us. Only your neighbor. I am guessing you feel pretty bad about it and that is why you are looking for forgiveness. But it isn't here you need to bring this question to. It sounds like you live on a bad street and you don't want to move or can't right now for whatever reason, doesn't matter, you are staying. So you have a neighbor who you share something with. You need to be on good relations with that person. That means when either of you are going to use the shared item, it needs to be discussed. Often people get pissed and upset about things because it wasn't discussed. For example, I have called the police on occasion for disturbances after legal hours. Now most of the time it was for things that were inappropriate or sounded abusive, but also for music. Now if my neighbors had come to talk with me about it, and asked if they could play music late due to a party or something, I would have said fine. I would not have been disturbed or upset because I knew about it, and if I had some important reason to get sleep or something I could have made other arrangements, or told them it wouldn't work that particular evening and with discussion it could be worked out. Discussion is everything. Open communication can change lives. It may be safer to park in the driveway and you need to discuss this with your neighbor. Now that you have done it without discussion she may not be as open but you should still do it. It may seem scary to go because you might feel guilty even though you feel justified. But just do it. Go talk to her. Despite the fact that you own and she rents she has as much right as you. It is a shared space, shared equally between the houses and you both need to come to an agreement. You may find she is willing to compromise with some discussion on the issue, especially when you bring up your concerns for safety. You could also look for other alternatives, is there a place on your lawn guests could park? I have seen people do that in the past. If not and she would still refuse to allow to you to park there, you still have options. You can meet friends and family elsewhere at their houses, or out somewhere. You can try to make another space behind your house. You can find a space on your lawn for them to park. You can find alternatives. They may not be what you want or what is most convenient for you, but you could also find a way to move and if you choose not to, that is your choice. There are always choices. But no matter what you decide, you need to keep in open communication with this neighbor. Always ask before using the space in any way other pulling through it. And she should extend the same courtesy. Perhaps she doesn't need it in another way but you do, you still need to ask. It isn't her fault your lifestyle may e different than yours. I hope this didn't come across as another bashing post as I only want to help, and as for others blocking a shared driveway, I would suspect they have agreed to it, so you are right you are not the only one who thinks it is okay but they have worked it out ahead of time, and if they didn't they are likely in a similar situation to you in angering their neighbors. But I would guess the majority of them have spoken to their neighbors and cleared it ahead of time. Please don't be afraid to ask for advice or admit your faults as you put it, it is how we stay in communication with each other. I guarantee that every person who has responded, including me has done something inappropriate at some time, made a bad decision and angered someone. We learn from our mistakes and it takes a brave person to come forward and help others with talking about it. I suspect some responded harshly having been on your neighbors side of things ignoring their own experiences of being on your side of things, because it is human nature to remember when we were wronged and not when we wronged others. And we all do it. We are all human so don't beat yourself up over this. we have all done something like this. And we have all been on both sides of it. I truly hope you can work this out with your neighbor.

1 mom found this helpful

Y.C.

answers from Orlando on

WOW, that is scary, I can just imagine how bad this could had end, I am glad no body is seriously injured, I would be shaking like crazy too.
On the driveway, sorry, I think you need to talk to your neighbor. In my opinion no body should block no body, if she gets a friend that wants to do what your fiend does, then not only your friend would not have a place to park either and you would be block, and I don't think nobody likes to be block.
If it makes you feel better, things could be worst.
When I was living with my MIL, she would park her car on the driveway, she barely would drive (maybe once a week) and I had to drive every day to drop and pick my kid to school and buy food. We had visitors parking but I couldn't park there because it was visitors only and 2 times somebody broke my tires. So I start parking on the street, which our house was inside a community so we have to walk around 2 blocks, with a baby, on rain, sun, cold or snow (we where living in NJ), every day, at least twice a day, but begers can be pickers so I adjust.
Your friend only comes sometimes to your house, I think is ok if she parks on the street, or if she wants it so bad to park there, at least she should bring some fruit to your neighbor when she does it, IF your neighbor agrees to the deal.

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S.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Been here, done this. Unless your deed clearly states 'right if easement' or 'right of way' you can close the part you own; period. Here's the thing, if it is private proprty, like ours, then you are liable for damages and/or personal injury that occurs on your property. If your neighbors are not respecting your property...speeding through your portion of the drive when children are playing nearby, allowing complete strangers unlimited access to your portion, driving intoxicated through your portion, etc. If you own it, maintain it, and insure it then you can do whatever you want. Out of courtesy however, if you are not going to allow others to your portion do not use their portion. Fair is fair.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I am still having a hard time picturing this drive way. It is a single lane all the way up to your houses? How in the world is it supposed to be shared then? Is it like a "Y"? Where the lower part is shared but you have your own section and she has her own area to park her vehicle?

I still think I would call the actual home owner and discuss the situation with them. They own the property. Perhaps since they did some work on the driveway they could share the cost of widening out the lower part. I would think that would make them happy too.

The city is a good place to visit too. There may be city codes that prohibit any renovations, they may have no regulations about you putting in your own driveway. It may take up part of your yard but if half of the drive way is your property then it would only need to be a few feet wider. Then the home owners next door would have to widen their own driveway. It would still be together but double wide with each of you only adding about half a drive way.

This seems to me to be the only peaceful solution. She has a right to her access at all times, so do you. If you don't have enough parking in your driveway then you must address this with the city and with the actual homeowners for the rental house next door.

There is no way I would park across the street if the street is this dangerous. I would park my car in my part of the driveway no matter what she said. But if it is the shared part then you are going to have to be pro-active and fix this peacefully.

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