Sex Talk and a Show I Saw Bout Sex in the House

Updated on June 27, 2011
B.B. asks from San Antonio, TX
15 answers

My question is has any one seen the talk bout teens having sex in the house and the parent ok with it. Also, what bout the sex talk. When should you have it and how to start it. My oldest is 7yrs and is starting to ask questions. Like, how did I get her baby brother in my tummy and where did he come out of. What do you say to a seven yr? My mother realy didnt give me sex talk and I dont want her to find out from school and tv and movies. I want to be the first to tell her. I want to have an open talk to her. Im lost.

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answers from Chicago on

Pick up a copy of "Where did I come from?" Great book, a bit campy, but it goes through (cartoonish) basic anatomy and "how the baby gets in". I have great memories of my mom reading it to me when I was a kid, and have a copy ready for when my kids start asking questions.

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answers from Jackson on

Oh I saw that preview of parents allowing sex next room over. I am horrified. I am not looking forward to teen years...

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answers from Philadelphia on

you tell her the science behind it, my four year old knows what ingredients were used (eggs from the mom, "seeds" from the dad) and where she came from, and how she was born...she J. doesnt know how the two ingredients came together yet...i avoided that b/c shes 4..but I would tell a 7 year old

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answers from Portland on

Since you don't have your own history to fall back on, use the experts! There are dozens of books on how to tell your kids the facts of life. Use the wonderful and helpful reviews on to choose a book that sounds right for you. Google "telling children about sex, amazon" for many great suggestions.

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answers from Dallas on

I think some of it just depends on the maturity of your 7yr old. I had the talk with then 8yr old last summer. The reason was because her 3rd grade teacher told me that there were kids in her class already starting and she suggested I explain some things casue questions were being asked inside the class room. So I took her aside and explained the period side of what happens to a girl. I didnt go into much detail as to why it it happens. But several months later she came and asked me where babie came from. I asked her 4 times do you really want to know, she said yes, so I told her. I have always told my girls that I will answer any questions as honestly as I can, so I had to stand by my word.

After our conversation she looked at me and said. "I really didnt want to knwo that" LOL I laughed and said then dont ask if you dont want the truth. I then called called my daughter best friends mom and told her what I did, I wanted her to be ready incase my child told her child things.

Id suggest starting out slow with the basics like the period talk and follow the flow of your daughter. If she seems to want to know more, then tell her, if she seems satisfied then stop and wait till she ask more questions. Too much info at once can be confussing. Try not to gross her out but be honest. Oh and use the real name for things

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answers from Seattle on

My oldest is six and he has had the talk as he is asking questions about stuff.

I dont plan on painting the big picture for him until he is about 8. But as he wonders...I will answer.

I am not gonna pound abstinence. I am going to leave it up to him to make that choice. I will encourage them to wait until they feel they are ready. I have no clue what I will use to educate them. But I will get there as it comes.

My mom and dad would like to think they did a good job ''TEACHING'' us about sex. Not true. If I could go back and score them on trying to help me ''get it'', it would be an F-. So, I want to make sure we have an open dialogue about it.

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answers from Sherman on

I totally agree with the answers on here. I would also add that you have to force yourself not to be embarrassed and look them in the eye while you are talking. An alternative... I've found the BEST place for these conversations is in the car.... you don't have to keep looking at them and they don't have to look at you! LOL!

My son was six when I got pregnant with my daughter. He was very curious about how the baby got into my tummy so I answered his questions while his dad turned green across the room. Since then when something comes up on TV or at school, I use it as a chance to talk to him more about it and can add age appropriate information.

About a year ago I learned his cousin (who he is very close with) started her period. I knew this was likely to come up somehow so one day in the car I brought up periods. I said, "Hey, you know how we talked about sex? Well there is something I forgot to tell you...." It was so funny because my son was amazed and upset at me for not telling him before. He said, "How could you not tell me that? Is there anything else I need to know?" I told him I just hadn't thought of it before because it didn't apply to him! LOL!

Good luck!

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answers from Dallas on

We started talking when our daughter was a toddler. open lines of communication are crucial, especially when you approach the teen years.

i always answered her questions in a way she understood and I did not elaborate unless she asked more questions.

I've not seen a TV show where teen sex was allowed in the house. What kind of message are those parents sending, GEES....

My daughter has a steady bf and she has some very high goals she set for herself. Sometimes I just say to her on her way out... "you know a baby would throw a wrench in your plans".

We talk a LOT and some of it is from tv shows. The other night the Kardashians were on and GEES, mom was talking about the size of Kourtney's husband's privates. We just sat there and laughed at all the innuendo's and the only question daughter asked was when Kourtney needed some sex lube and she thought that was gross.

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answers from Houston on

This was the book we had in our house about puberty and I gave it to my oldest (now 16) when she was about 9. I have two older brothers so I learned earlier than most. I don't think it's too early to talk about it and answer questions matter of factly - you don't need to go into great detail. The earlier you can have an open dialogue with your kids the more likely they are to keep talking to you when they get older. Good luck!

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answers from Sacramento on

You answer her honestly with as little detail as possible....for example, when my daughter asked me how the baby came out, I told her "through the birth canal" - not a lie, totally true! LOL ~ That was enough for her at that time. In the future, I am sure that I will have to elaborate, but until she asks for more information that is all I will say.....

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answers from Austin on

Our talks started several years ago, when my oldest was around 3 (and I've had similar talks with my youngest, who's about to be 5). She happened in the bathroom, and noticed blood in my panties. When she started to freak out, thinking I was hurt, I explained that it was "special blood," that stays inside Mommy's tummy (I later explained the exact location is called the uterus), and it helps to grow a baby, when it's just a teeny tiny egg. Further talks explained that each month, if there's no baby in Mommy's tummy, I don't need the blood any more, so it comes out, and my body makes more, for next month.

My oldest noticed that she had -three- holes, -down there.- I simply explained, that one is where tee-tee comes out, one is for poo-poo, and the middle one (called the vagina), is where the special blood and babies come out.

Later, when they asked how the baby got in there, I explained that mommies have eggs inside their bodies, and the daddy plants a seed, to make it grow into a baby. When my youngest learned this, not long ago, she GASPED, then exclaimed with fascination, "-I- was a baby PLANT?!" LOL!!!
"No, it was a -BABY- seed." She seemed perfectly satisfied with that explanation.

We haven't yet gotten into the mechanics of it all, and I'm teaching the proper names for things, as they grow and learn more. I'm hoping it will be an easy transition, since they aren't -totally- in the dark about everything.

Oh, and about condoning sex under mom and dad's roof: ABSOLUTELY NOT. And if I even have a suspicion that they're having sex elsewhere, we'll be putting a stop to that elsewhere.

My mom told me as a teenager, "your father and I were virgins when we got married, but we did everything -but-. . ." Yes, it was kinda gross to hear that about your parents, but in her defense, she was trying to discourage premarital -intercourse-. . . I keep telling myself, that I have the advantage of being able to tell my kids, "I wasted my virginity, before I got married, and it was SO not worth it!"

Best wishes!

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answers from Houston on

Not that long ago I was in your shoes. I explained to my son that when a mommy and daddy love each other very much sometimes God will bless them with a baby and the baby grows in a special place in the mommy's tummy called the womb. When it's time for the baby to come the mommy will go to the hospital and the doctor will help get the baby out. Then I advised that I would explain more when he was older and that worked for a long time. last year I explained a little more that the baby comes out through the birth canal but I didn't specify where it is, lol. My son is 10 and I'm sure we will be having the talk soon, but I'm trying to put it off until next year when he is in 5th grade. I think the important thing is to give then as much info as they can handle in the most truthful way. I often told my son that I would explain more when he was older and he took that with no problem.

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answers from Baton Rouge on

Give her answers that are accurate but age-appropriate. You can explain to her how sex works without giving her a sex toy catalog or going into all the kinky variations possible.

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answers from San Francisco on

Go to the library and get some books. Talk to her now and make it a continuous conversation. My 4 year old knows where babies come from. We had "the talk" at age 3 because he was so interested in animals and the way bodies work etc. My talk was a little early--but my point is--take your daughter where she is and make her comfortable and see where she leads the conversation. Let her ask questions and not be ashamed or wrong for it--build that trust. Make sure that you answer her questions honestly and with the correct terminology. As for the sex in the house for teens??? That will NOT be allowed in my house.


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answers from Provo on

I just have to add a story about a friend of mine at work. I would have to go over to her house early in the morning to pick her up for work and her daughter's boyfriend was staying over all the time because his car was there. I found this to be totally outrageous. I asked if it was really the boyfriend's car and she told me it was. She said that she knew 110% that her daughter was a virgin even though this boy was coming over to sleep in her bed. I just shook my head and went on about the day. These kids were only 16. Pretty soon the mother sat down on the couch with a depressed look and told me that the daughter was pregnant. I just gave her a surprised look and said, "Really?!" I could see that one coming!! LMAO..... It really doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out! You put two horny teenagers in bed together and they won't play chess.

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