I have an 18 mo old and a 3 mo old, so I've been pregnant a lot recently and I can tell you that having a swollen "girl" during pregnancy is totally normal.... you have a WHOLE lot more blood flow to that region than you normally do when not pregnant. I actually found intimacy to be more pleasurable because of this, and i kinda miss it now that I'm not pregnant again (though not enough to make me want to rush back into another pregnancy! LOL)
As far as the soreness goes... well, you don't give much detail as to what type of soreness. Is it a stinging sore, or an aching sore? If its a stinging sore, you just might have a yeast infection. I had an on/off yeast infection for like 3 months during my last pregnancy... It would flare up and then just before I woudl ask my midwife for something for it, it would go away, and then flare up and go away, and FINALLY I just asked for the over the counter pill for it (I'm not a fan of using that weird capsule stuff for it, I'd rather just pop a little pill and be done with it) But anyways, When I took it, it wiped it completely out and I wondered why I hadn't just taken it 3 months earlier since I felt better overall than I had in forever! I didn't have any real huge symptoms of it even at it's worst, just the burning/tender feeling on the skin and sometimes a slight itch, nothing like what they usually describe yeast infections to feel like. So, thats something to look into.
As far as the sex drive goes, I don't really know what to say about that one, since my sex drive is just as high is not higher during pregnancy than it is when I'm not pregnant. the only thing that gets in the way a bit is that I am more tired overall so sometimes feel more like sleeping than making love to my hubby, but I have found that saying "Yes" evenwhen sometimes I feel like saying "No" keeps both my hubby and I satisfied and happy...Its usually only a few minutes before my "No" turns into a genuine "Yes" anyways and all thoughts of sleep are forgotten. :-) And, its always nice when you are feeling fat and pregnant to have your husband show you that he still feels you are incredibley sexy regardless...once in a while we all need that ego boost!
Good luck! Hope my answer wasn't too graphic for you guys!