Alright so I have a sex question and I am not quite sure who to ask so I figured I would seek the advice of fellow mamas :) I have been married to my husband for 10 years. He is still my very best friend, soul mate and I am still very much in love and attracted to him. We have 3 kids and work opposite schedules so our time is limited but we still have sex about twice a week. The issue that I am having is that I would rather skip all the kissing, touching etc and just go straight for the "main event." I am usually the one who initiates sex, so it is not that I don't want to do it... I just want to do it and thats it. I don't enjoy receiving oral sex at all but I don't mind giving it to him so if there is ANY kind of foreplay it is just that. I DO like to kiss, cuddle etc. but only when sex is not in the immediate future. Its like I like intimacy to be seperate from sex and I only enjoy being really intimate if I know that there is no pressure to have sex so to speak. Does anyone else have this issue of liking sex and liking intimacy but not at the same time??? My husband says it doesn't bother him but I can't help thinking that maybe it does, or that it is a little weird. Thanks!!!
I wish you were my wife. She only wants to have sex once a month, and I have to beg her for oral sex,usually to no avail. She likes to cuddle and kiss,etc., but only in non-intimate environments. She believes that is being romantic. However, I really do enjoy giving her oral sex.
ALT
I don't think your weird at all and your situation sounds similar to me and my hubby. Sex is the ultimate form of intimacy. After so many years and a lot of growing up, the "romantic" type isn't always necessary. And, lets be honest, there is rarely time for all of the romance and foreplay!!! Men just want to get to the main event, too.
If you're happy, and your husband is happy, that's all that matters! Most men hate feeling that they have to woo an unwilling partner, so most men would be delighted by a wife who doesn't want a song and dance routine before she's ready.
I know exactly what u mean. I enjoy sex with my husband as well but, I don't like to kiss him while having sex. I'll kiss him before and after but not during, I don't know why. I also enjoy snuggling and kissing separately but my husband interprets kissing as a signal that i want to be intimate which sometimes upsets me. so we don't kiss and flirt too much because of that reason.
honestly, you sound like every man's dream. really. no forplay, good sex, etc., no cuddling. really, he's not upset, its like a dream come true for him.
You sound JUST like me!! Does your hubby complain about it? I mean if you're in love still having sex and still have the intimate parts outside of sex as ling as you're both happy than what's the problem? Some people would love to have the relationship you do!
OMG I could have written this post. I feel the exact same way and it does bother my husband (he has told me several times). I don't know what to do about it. But I think if really did bother your husband he would tell you.
I would say you are a little bit of an odd duck as far as that is concerned. But perhaps situations in your life had lead you to be that way so there is no judgement here. If it doesn't bother your man, then you don' t need me or anyone else to make you feel better about who you are or what you like or don't like in the bedroom. Just accept it unless it becomes an issue in your marriage.
The one thing that I have learned about men is that they will say what they mean and mean what they say...therefore stop beating yourself up and go with what he says... but dang are we opposites! LOL
Jamie,
I read everyone responses and they are all correct.. If you are happy and so is he. Then that is all that matters...I have leard that if my husbands is missing something in our intimate times he will tell me and VS. I think that after so many years together we know what we want and what we like and we just go for it.
As long as both you and your hubby are satisfied, that's all that matters. My hubby thinks it's strange that I'm not all touchy-feely and am the first to admit I would rather just roll over and go to sleep. But after years of convincing him that I'm not like the stereotypical female, we're doing what works best for us. That's what you should do, what's best for you guys.
