My 3.5-year-old daughter is driving me so crazy that I am currently looking at jobs. I sent my husband a text today saying, "I don't think I can do this anymore. I feel like I'm turning into a horrible, awful person because of her. I think I need to get a job and put her in daycare. I have failed." I'm not sure why I'm even posting this, I don't have a question, I just really feel like a terrible mother.
Thank you to all you quick first responders! Now that I'm not a weeping mess, let me give a little more info:
My background is in education, I've done the infant room up through high school. I have no desire to work in a childcare facility/preschool again. I have been looking at educational non-profit work, perhaps at an administrative level. My daughter and I have always done a ton of playdates, classes at the rec center, outtings, etc.
She is enrolled to start preschool in Aug. halftime/5 days a week. She will be four in mid-Sept. I hope I can last a few more months.
And yes, it's been a pretty bad day. Now I just want to take a shower and drink some wine.
Happy Mothers' Day to you all. What a blessing you are.
You are not, some moms just are not made to be SAHM. At first I started to go a little nuts (I had twins at the time, we did the daycare thing for a year and I was working to pay daycare) and I got a part time night job and it worked out for me I just need the adult interaction.
I can relate.
NO you are not terrible.
You are admitting it.
That is not wrong.
Don't feel bad.
You have not, failed.
Happy Mother's Day!
OR, have her go to Preschool, part-time, if you can.
it will be good for her, and you. (you will have 'me' time when she is there).
A.,
I think every mom feels like that at times.
3 is a really tough age. I thought I escaped the terrible 2's and then 3 hit out of left field.
Whether you want to work or not is completely up to you.
You're not a bad mom if you get a job. And you're not a terrible mother for feeling like you want to take off. I used to fantasize about just running away--down the street--for 20 minutes--ALONE. haha
BUT this might when it's most important that you ARE there so you can give her structure, boundaries and rules and consequences?
Ah...motherhood....the toughest job anyone can EVER have--for very low pay! :)
Hang in there!
I'm a big believer in: Happy Mama = Happy Baby.
Good luck finding the perfect job!
You are NOT a terrible mother. A terrible mother would deny her true feelings and continue staying home even though she was unhappy and then she would make her and her baby girl miserable!
Maybe try part time. Enough to get out of the house for a bit and enjoy some adult interaction and your daughter can enjoy some fun time with other kids her age.
You're not a terrible person! Working makes me a better mom. I'm more patient with my littlies, and the time we spend together is far higher quality than when I was a SAHM. They get all the arts and crafts and music they need at daycare, and I don't have to do any of the messy stuff at home, just spend lovely time together. We all appreciate each other so much more. Children can drive me insane too, but I still love them. We all have to find our groove, and your mothering is not going to be the same as other people who are overjoyed to be SAHMs. Do your own thang. Good luck!
Why not part time? In hindsight I would have gotten a part time job.
I think it would do you good to get out of the house and have a working life part time or full time. As well as a social life. It's not easy being a stay at home mom. I commend you for doing it. I did it for 6 months and got tired of it lol.
I think you will feel better about yourself and your daughter also:) I say this because I have been there. It will benefit your entire family:)
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!
First, you are not a bad mom. But it does sound like it's been a rough day. Personally, I found age 3 way harder than two, especially with my daughter (having a newborn at the same time surely didn't make it easier), and preschool for her saved my life. I remember one day in particular when I went to pick her up. The kids were happily squealing on the playground and running riot under the watchful eyes of two staff members. The staff who remained inside were debating how best to remove glitter glue from the walls. I said something about the happy chaos I observed, and the lead teacher smiled at me and said, "This is why you pay us - so it's here and not in your own house." So true, and so worth every penny. Hang in there - August is not far away! :-)
You're not a terrible mother. And you haven't failed. You're human and you're raising a family and that is the *hardest* thing anyone can do.
If you feel like you need a break from her (which is NOT a bad thing!) then what about putting her in part-time preschool? It will be good for both of you - she'll get some kid-on-kid interaction, lots of arts and crafts. You'll get a few blissful child-free hours a week.
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I haven't read any responses, but let me just tell you that the half years are hard: 1.5, 2.5, 3.5, etc. Get a book called Your 3 Year Old: Friend or Enemy and you'll feel better. =)
I feel your pain. I feel this way sometimes. It's a hard job to be there for a child 24/7. Don't know that I have advice persay, just wanted to let you know your not alone or a failure as a parent. Do what you have to do to make a good life for you and your family. Good luck and if you ever need to commiserate send me a message, because I'm right there with ya.
oh, i am so there with you. i think that about once or twice a year, i have a break down (especially where my daughter is concerned) and tell my husband that i am a horrible mother, that she would be better off with someone else taking care of her, etc. but he always consoled me. and i knew that i didn't want someone else instilling there beliefs into my child. she is turnig 4 soon. can you put her in a 4 yr old preschool class for a 1/2 day? my daugther is 6 now, and i don't regret staying home with her at all. even with my breakdowns:). my daughter and i have a great relationship, she would rather play with her dad then me, but she comes and tells me everything and doesn't want him to know certain things so she is confiding things, she sings in front of me, but not him, and she comes to me when she gets hurt. if you can handle it (some people are better suited to being a working mother) i would definitely suggest not to rush into anything.
Girl!!! U r not the only one. Its not that my son is driving me crazy, its just that I need to go back out there and do something other than change pamper, play toddlers games, watch Nick Jr, etc. Lol. I've been out of work since I was 3 months pregnant. I'm soooooo ready. I need to be more social and have adult conversation once in a while. Plus, he's at the age where he needs to be in daycare as well. I've gone on a few interviews. Hopefully, I'll land something soon. Don't think for a minute that your a bad mother. Your just tired, and trust me, your entitled. You gotta love the babies tho! They honestly keep us on our toes! Happy Mothers Day. :)
Go for it! By this age, she's ready to spend hours a day playing with other kids! If you are happier, she'll be happier.
My life has been so much better since returning to work! I was a SAHM for almost 4 years, and I wish I had done it sooner. I'm a better mother and everyone is happier!
You are not a failure. 3 is hard, much harder than 2. Daycare providers have many years of exprience and the right personality for being with kids everyday. There's nothing wrong with good daycare :) If you would like to get a job, do it :) Otherwise, give yourself and your child some credit. You are just having a bad day.
I have yet to meet a mom who has older kids, who hadn't felt that way at some point in their mothering!! You are very much not alone! Hang in there - this too shall pass! Do some stuff for you, find the balance that works, so you can enjoy your time with her, as it really will pass by so quickly! Happy Mother's Day!!!!!
You are so not alone!! Part time preschool saved my family I think. Get some time for you!! It is important for you to be happy to regain your patience energy. :)
