Sending My Childrent to a Faith Based Day-Care, How to Answer Questions?

Updated on September 14, 2014
K.M. asks from Wabash, IN
18 answers

I am not very knowledgeable when it comes to Christianity. But I am sending my two children to a Faith Based Daycare, because I feel they have a lot to offer my children in reards to structure, morals, etc. They are coming home with questions from time to time and I dont know how to answer them. I would describe myself as a believer, but my family and i don't attend church on a regular basis. I don't have a problem with my children getting a Christian Education, but I don't want to stear them wrong. What do I do when they come home with questions?

Example:

Daughter came home and was jumping on my bed. I asked her to stop jumping. She did stop jumping, but immidiately stated " it's not your bed mommy, it's God's bed". I turned away because i didnt want to show my smile. I took it at some level as a difiant comment, but on the other had saw it as all things are Gods. I recognize there is truth, in what she said and didn'y know how particularly to repsond.

What can I do next?

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

"And God said you are supposed to listen to your mother and father..."

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

"Jumping on the bed is unacceptable, no matter who the bed belongs to. Now get down."

As for any theological questions your kids may have, tell them what YOU believe. YOU are the primary source of their moral and spiritual development.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Our daughter went to a Christian drama camp this summer and we're not a churchgoing family. Any time she'd make religious comments as factual statements, I'd reminder her that that's one opinion and there are many out there. Then, we'd talk about whatever issue it was and I'd ask her what SHE thought.

I would share what you believe and then turn the question back at them. If they really want to know more about something specific taught at school, you can always look it up online.

ETA: For the example given, I would have said, "No, it's MY bed and it's not ok to jump on it. God may love all of us, but he didn't buy the bed. Do as you are told."

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

You value their morals but you have no idea what they are?
O-kay.
Well it's a day care not a school.
When I have questions I have no idea what the answer is -
I Google it - and usually find out what I need to know.
It's not so much that you have to know everything so long as you know how to look it up.

I don't think it's hypocritical sending your kids to a faith based daycare when you don't have the faith.
Religions want to spread their teaching - if you can't tag their parents they are usually perfectly happy getting their kids - and - they'll take anybody's money.
It's when/if they start teaching something you absolutely can't stand behind - for instance :absolute worship of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
You'll have to say 'I know that's what they are teaching but I'm sorry but I just don't believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.".

Additional:
Oh Wow!
There really IS a Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
I may have to look into becoming a Pastafarian!

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

If you're going to send your children to this school bc you value what they're teaching your kids and think it's better than other schools, I think you should learn about the faith in more detail yourself. Otherwise it seems rather hypocritical. You want what they offer for your kids but don't want to respect it enough to put in effort to really understand it. It'd be confusing to your children and you probably should start attending church. I am not particularly religious and we only attend church sometimes but I'd feel disrespectful sending my children to a religious based school but not actually then living more inline with what it teaches.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

You might say, "That's an interesting perspective, DD, but I'm the one who has the bed in my room and I say you can't jump on it." I would take that less as a faith comment and more of a "I want to get away with it/I'm a kid" comment.

As for other things, you just answer honestly. Even different denominations don't agree all the time and I tell DD that I believe x. Like when she sees Mennonites with caps on and asks why we don't cover our hair. I tell her that's one way they show their faith. Simple answers, usually.

My DD attended a daycare and a preschool of different denominations than ours. She didn't have much trouble with any of it. To her it was just "Oh, this church has Father Arnold and we have Pastor Smith."

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

"God's letting me use the bed and neither of us want you jumping on it." ;)

I think the truth you recognize is that some of us believe everything we have is a gift from God. I would bet that they may have a mom's group or something, if it is a church, that would welcome you with open arms so you can learn more about what your little one's are learning. You are NOT being hypocritical. You are giving your kids a wonderful place to spend time!

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

God says "honor thy father and mother. Now get off my bed"

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D..

answers from Miami on

Hey there, K.. I love that you smiled! It's best not to take this stuff kids say too seriously...

Now here's what you do when your little girl tries to outsmart and manipulate you like this. You say "WELL! There are God's rules and there are Mommy's rules. And Mommy's rules say you don't jump on the bed. Now stop it before I give you a consequence." And mean what you say, mama! What she is doing really has nothing to do with God. She is being defiant and is hoping that if she says "God" to you, that you will give her a pass. No way, K.!

Don't EVER let a kid pull the God card on you. Ever. I never had a problem like that with my kids, but I have had adults do it. The first time it happened to me, it was very hurtful. After I got over the hurt, I changed churches because I recognized (thankfully) that it was a way these women had of trying to manipulate people and showing their dominance. I recommend that for you too, if you choose to go to a church. The LAST thing you want your daughter to learn is that the way to get people to do what she wants them to do is to use God to belittle people and push them around.

There is a lot to be said for a preschool that is faith based. But some of them go overboard. If it's TOO much, then your child will be at odds with you and I don't think that's healthy for your family. If you find that, don't ignore it. You can find preschools that aren't overboard on this. And you simply MUST NOT just pick a school for her to attend once she goes to kinder that is ONLY about church. If you do, you could really mess up her education. Pick the school that is best for academics. If it's not religious based, then supplement with church. It doesn't matter what the denomination is, as long as you aren't picking something that is closed minded, saying that everyone's going to hell except them...

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

I like Gidget's answer......

One thing you can do is to tell her that God had a set of 10 rules for his people... they were called "Commandments". One of those commandments says to "Honor your father and mother", and to "honor" someone means to follow their rules.

Here is a modern paraphrasement of the 10 commandments.... take a look at #5.... Give honor to your father and mother by treating them with respect and obedience.

http://christianity.about.com/od/biblestorysummaries/qt/t...

Glad you were able to take it with a smile! Your daughter is trying to outsmart you a bit!

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X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

How cute and defiant all in one. All kids are defiant, she was just clever enough to bring God into it. I highly doubt the school is brainwashing her.

Gidget is spot on in her response. When I bring God into my response to my kids, it usually sounds like this, "well God gave you to me to teach you, love you and protect you, so you have to listen to me".

Open a children's bible and read it to her. The Beginners Bible is great and you will learn a lot too. For yourself, you can rent a movie about the Bible or one the bible, maybe start with Proverbs.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

"God made that bed to sleep in, not jump on." or "God is not really interested in our material things. He allowed me to buy the bed and he now allows me to control what happens with/to it."

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

She did great. She immediately stopped. What she also needs to realize is, you are acting on God's behalf. You are the captain of the ship, and with it, comes responsibility AND authority over 'subordinates'. She had a great question and below is what I would touch on with her. I gave you some supporting verses as well.

(ps...There is a book called "Train Up a Child" ...and also "Shepherding a Child's Heart" ....both are great resources. )

Ephesians 6: 'Children, OBEY your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and Mother- which is the first command with a promise, so that it will go well with you all your days and you will enjoy a long life'.

Eph 6 is the ONLY commandment given explicitly to children by God. Their sole responsibility is to obey you, and if they obey a God fearing parent, they are PROMISED a good life. Why...because children who grow up obeying the parents also grow up to obey the Lord. Children allowed to disobey without consequence will grow up to disobey God and that will lead to problems in life. Explain that God put you in the place of authority over the child, and also, God himself explicitly commands YOU throughout the Bible to use the 'rod of correction' to bring the child back into obedience and a place of blessing. So if you do not correct the child when disobedient , you yourself are being disobedient. And you explain to the child that you are not going to do that. So they need to obey you because God tells them to.

Prov 19:3 - A man's own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord'

Prv 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope, do not be a willing party to his death (meaning a disobedient child when he grows up will be headstrong and prideful, he will not accept that God is in power over him, and therefor will not accept him and will not inherit eternal life but will die forever in the second death.)

Prv 22;6 Train the child the way he should go,(obediently following the Lord) and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Prv 23;13 -Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die...punish him with the rod, and save his soul from death.

Prv 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself discraces his mother.

Prv 30:17 The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens and will be eaten by the vultures.

Prv 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

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T.F.

answers from Washington DC on

If you believe you should consider attending a bible study or doing a self taught bible study on your own. If you don't believe then your children don't belong there. End of Story.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

LOL that's cute! Maybe say something like, well God gave me the good grace to pay for this bed so really it's MINE.
Or...well if it IS God's bed I'm sure he doesn't want you jumping on it either.
Then smile and tickle her and change the subject.
Humor goes a long way at this age, no need to get too serious yet :-)

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Honestly, my advice would be to read the bible. Too many people take what they are told by others about what it says as fact. If you are going to follow a book you should have read it for yourself with a truly open mind to see what it really says, and that should give you a good foundation about how to respond to your kids.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Ask the director if she has any resources in her stuff to teach about stewardship. We are given so many blessings from God but he gives us stewardship over the things we buy or spend our money on.

So if we buy a bed it's "ours" because we chose to spend our "blessing" on it. SO we have to take very special care of those things.

That's how I look at it. And how I'd explain this to a pre-schooler.

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M.C.

answers from Louisville on

I would tell them what YOU feel is right. Use your own moral guidelines, and work them along with what they are being taught at school. The problem with any education that is faith-based is that there are SO MANY different versions and interpretations of the Bible that even if you are Christian, you may not agree 100% with the specifics of what they are teaching... For example, gay rights. Some Christians are for, some are against. So you answer questions based on your beliefs.

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