First I would agree that maybe your son should be evaluated for vision, hearing, and possible learning difficulties. Kids are really good at hiding these things. Not on pupose, but because God made us all so adaptable that kids with differences learn quickly how to adapt to them. I have dyslexia, but no on knew for years. :o)
Aside from that, I would like to agree with Toni that sometimes kids of busy, driven parents have difficulties living up to that norm. Your hubby owns his own biz and you are trying to start one up along with your other hobbies and volunteering several times a week. While that is great for you and your hubby, it may not be the way your son is put together. Not that I would condone letting him lay around playing video games all day, just that not everyone is built to be going 24/7. Just something to think about.
As far as discipline, that really starts with understanding the definition of the word. Discipline is not punishment, or consequences, although those are part of it. Discipline is developing a way to go/be. Getting daily exercise, eating well, and other healthy habits are all a matter of discipline. In our house part of our discipline is no tv during the school week and limited 2 hours or so on weekend days. A lot of bad attitude and bad habits are learned from tv, so we limit it to help us with self discipline. This is not a punishment, just how it is in our house. Video games are also limited. In our house kids that show good self discipline (homework done, room clean, teeth brushed, good attitudes, etc.) have a lot of freedom with their time. If they would rather go outside a play after school and do their homework later, that is fine since they have shown me that they consistently complete the things they are responsible for without my intervention. However, if they start showing me that they need more training in the responsiblility area, I step right back in. 'Sorry sweetie, but yesterday you didn't get your homework done before bedtime, so today you must do it before you can do anything else.' Not mad, not a punishment, just setting the expectation/example of being responsible.
Lastly, I wanted to share a great resource for parenting advice/info. This site also has other great resources for other areas of life, but here is the link specifically for parenting and families. Everything is available to download for free or if you prefer cds they can be purchased very inexpensively. Positive Parenting and What I Want for My Children are my favorites! Now my kids are older, Parenting Teens is my current helper. These resources really help to keep me on track with my kids. Reminding me of what is important and why we all do what we do. We all want to raise great kids! Anyway here is the link http://ctw.coastlands.org/store/home.php?cat=252
Enjoy your adventure!