Seeking Parenting Advice

with my little girl i had to sit next to her bed every nite for about two weeks then she started falling asleep in her own bed she is also 1. let me know if it works my e-mail is ____@____.com
my name is J.

I have watched the Nanny shows on TV in the past and many of them have been about this issue. One thing they showed was putting your child in bed and sitting next to the bed until they fall asleep. They say not to talk to them once you put them in the bed or make eye contact with them. Every night you move a little closer to the door until you are completely out of the room. I did it with my son and it worked. It may take some time but it does work if you are willing to stick to it.
R.

L.,

I just went through the same thing with my 2 1/2 year old. We had her on a schedule when she was younger, but she kept getting sick and I would end up rocking her to sleep or just holding her on the couch until she went to sleep. After many months of sleepless nights, my husband said that we would just have to be firm and put her in her bed. The first night was horrible for me. I sat in the living room and cried while she was cring, but after about 20 minutes, she went to sleep. The next night, she only cried for about 15 minutes. Then on the third night, it was only small whimpers on and off for about 5 to 10 minutes. Finally, the fourth night she laid down and went to sleep with no crying. Now, it has been about 3 weeks and I tell her that it's time for Nite-Nite, she goes and hugs her daddy and walks to her room. I put her to bed with all of her stuffed animals and she has been doing great. It will seem awful at first, but it works. And I love the extra sleep I'm getting. Hope this helps.

Hi! Im M...not advice on the sleeping thing but we live in Ladson and have a near 5yr old boy :)

The best advice I got was 'start as you mean to go on' which means that if you don't want your child to sleep with you, start it sleeping in the crib from the beginning. Anyhoo, now you need to make the transition, which is difficult for a child. I would triage with:
1)Creating an incentive--'Big girls sleep in their beds. See XXX sleeps her in bed--she is a big girl. For every night you sleep in your bed, mommy will take you to the bookstore to buy a brand new book', etc.
2)Try to discover if she feels alone or scared in her bed for some reason without asking her about it (and planting that seed). Lie in her bed and see what she sees--are they pretty pictures to look at? Is the life of the party downstairs and she is upstairs alone, etc?
3)Refuse to hold her, even in her bed, before sleep. Instead change the ritual to bath, stories on the floor, then bed by herself with the reminder that she will get X if she sleeps there. Creating a ritual or ceremony of bed offers a child stability and predictability that they crave and look forward to.

Good luck!

I had the same problem with my 16 month. The advise that I was given was put her to bed in her crib(at whatever her bedtime is) and just sit in the room with her. She will probably cry cause my daughter cried and fought it out for about almost 2 hours until she finally tired herself out. Do not pick her up or anything. If she stands up just put her down. Just talk to her in a soothing voice. Do that routine every nite and eventually your daughter will fall asleep on her own without crying. Don't get me wrong it was HARD to just sit there in her room and not pick her up when she was crying. Hope this helps. Let us know how it worked out

Oh, yes, that is hard. I was given a book by a dear friend that was very helpful. Sleeping Through the Night, Jodi Mendell. I think that is the correct spelling. The author gives several techniques to choose from. She worked in sleep clinics for children and knows her stuff. My son slept through the night on the 2nd night after following her advice. We were so relieved and finally well rested, all of us.
Take care, N.

L., I would highly recommend the book The Baby Whisperers Guide to Toddlers. It is a great resource for advice on this.

Often, to get little one's to sleep on their own after being in the same room with their parent(s) for so long is to set up a sleeping bag or bed in her room next to her crib. Once she is comfortable with this (probably 3 nights to a week), work on having her sleep independently without you in the room.

Try to get her to the point that your voice or touch sooth her instead of holding her. Explain to her what you are doing as if she is older. Why she needs to sleep in her crib, but that you will be there if you need her. If she cries, pick her up, but lay her right back down the second she stops crying (if she is too heavy, just hug her when she is standing in her crib and lay her down). Pat on the back and shhh lightly or sing to get her to sleep. Only pat and sing/shhh if she is crying. The second she stops crying stop and leave. You are trying to get her to fall asleep on her own and break her dependency on you.

Once you decide she is done sleeping with you, don't let her sleep with you again, as it will just reinforce her dependency. Good luck!

hello L.,

My Husband and I personally never let our daughter cry herselfto sleep ,but use to watch other's in our family do it...we went and bought soft crib toys to go in the bed and toys that strap on the side after 1 1/2 can say ...its a great techinique and never wished we had done it differently...good luck

hello, i have a daughter that used to do the same thing now se is 4.. i usually put her to bed lay with her and tell a story or read a book.. once she is asleep i go out and turn the night light on.. and she is pretty good about staying in her bed all night..

i just wanted to say, that i think that Crying it out is soooo bad for children, according to research. The book "the no cry sleep solution" is just amazing, and they dont do crying it out. maybe you could try sleeping or laying down with her, and then when she falls asleep go to sleep in your own bed

As you can see from the other posts, there are a lot of books on getting your child to sleep. They are definitely helpful but you need to see which one works for you. Some books recommend "cry it out" methods, which have worked for me, but some don't like those. Try some of those suggested and see which one might work for you. You are going to have to both be reassuring to your daughter and yet firm about getting her to sleep in her own bed. It will work out! GOod luck!

We used the book :No Cry Sleep Solution - it's WONDERFUL, no 'crying it out'. Son's slept 100% independantly, and thru then night, since 4 months old!

good luck.