Seeking Others with Fertility Problems

Updated on March 23, 2008
K.R. asks from Brooklyn, NY
13 answers

My husband and I have been seeing a fertility specialist. I was very lucky the first time I had invitro. I had a beautiful baby boy in 2005. Since then I have tried invitro twice, and just recently tried artifical insemination to no avail. I wanted to know if anyone else had a similar problem with these procedures. It is so discouraging to go through all the injections and prep work to find out it didn't work.

What can I do next?

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S.W.

answers from New York on

Ugh. I so understand... I did 3 IUIs and 2 invitros before conceiving my daughter who is now 20 mo. old. I am now ready to try again... and so scared about having to go through it all again...

Anyway, I hear you! Sorry for what you're going through...

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R.H.

answers from Albany on

Hi K.,

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, but I completely understand. I've been through multiple failed IVF cycles and, like Allison H. turned to Korean adoption. That's not to say we won't ever try IVF again (in a few years) but frankly, I have to wait until I get feeling back in my butt from the PIO ;)

Seriously, though, you are not alone, and I'm thrilled to hear that you have achieved your miracle. It does not cure what you've been through but hopefully it will lessen the hurt, in time.

I do know of a wonderful online support group, so email or contact me here if you'd like the link.

Many, many hugs,
R.

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E.L.

answers from Syracuse on

K. - I can sympathize and wish you all the best. we have male infertility and went through 2 rounds of full blown in vitro and 7 rounds of non-invasive in vitro (the same as full-blown but without the follicle stimulating hormones.) I was very sick and literally crazy during all the treatments. I am very petite and am convinced that the hormones were just too much for my body. Anyway....all together 10 embryos and non took. So, yes, I understand your frustration. We have since adopted an awesome daughter from China & are waiting for our 2nd via China as well. I've forgotten about the horrors of infertility since our daughter became a part of our family.
On the other hand, a friend had no success with 4 rounds of in vitro (total of 12 embroyes implanted). She persevered and on #5 became pregnant with twins. Her 2 year olds are adorable - and she too has forgotten about her horrors. Point of my long story...no matter the end result, it WILL be a brighter day once you get through this period. Good luck and my sincere thoughts are with you. (I've been there and no how crappy it is). E.

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S.P.

answers from New York on

Tell me about it. We have a 3 yr. old daughter and have been seeing a fertility specialist for 18 months now. We've done 15 inseminations and 3 IVF cycle, to no avail. Last year we spend 25K on fertility treatments and are now finally covered by insurance. But we only have 2 more IVF tries and it's scary to think that it might not happen for us. My daighter keeps asking me when we're going to have a baby and I keep telling her "when God decides". I asked God to give me a sign on whether we're destined for another child and that night I dreamt that I was pregnant. I'm torn between facing reality and having faith. If you're at all religious, I recommend the book "Calm My Anxious Heart". It's fantastic!!! There's also a secondary infertility group (thru Resolve) in suffolk county which may be helpful. E-mail me at [email protected]____.com if you want more info.

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A.S.

answers from Rochester on

Hi K.,

I had fertility issues as well. So did a friend of mine. We both saw Dr. Mohammad Mroueh (pronounced Mroo-ay) in Park Ridge Hospital (his wife is my gyno). He had me pregnant within half a year. I have a tipped uterus, so it was more tricky. My friend got pregnant after her first try with him. We both did artificial insemination. I was reluctant to see a male doctor. Dr. Mroueh is very gentle, caring, & has an excellent bed side manner. He never made me feel uncomfortable like other male docs. He genuinly cares about his patients & the outcome. Get a referral & check him out.

Good luck,
A.

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A.H.

answers from New York on

Pray. We went through a lot of procedures and they never worked. Then I got fed up and quit. I got pregnant soon after quitting.. but lost 4 babies... during the first 12 weeks. I couldn't handle it... It is to upsetting. We have since adopted 2 children from Korea... who light up my life every day.. If you get to the end of your rope and think about adoption... contact me anytime... My children mean the world to me. The only thing I missed was feeling a baby kick inside of me... It must be awesome.. other than that.. these 2 wonderful children.. are truely my children.. I love them so much... Good luck.. hand in there. A....

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A.F.

answers from New York on

i have PCOS, so i actually had a pretty easy time, but i do have a friend that had "unexplained" infertility. she tried IUI a couple of times with no luck and IVF once with no luck. she finally tried accupunture from a person that specializes in infertility. she is due in March! it is worth a shot. Good luck.

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B.Z.

answers from New York on

I have had similar and have many (four) friends with similar infertility problems. One in particular went through 12 IVF's before success, she now has 2 beautiful children, both through IVF. Myself, I have been through 3 IUI's and 3 IVF's and am (FINALLY) about 6 weeks pregnant now...I am 38.

You and your husband will know when its time to stop, and each person comes to this decision at very different times. My husband and I told our DR after IVF number two that we were done, no more, time to go the adoption route - but my heart felt otherwise...even with the injections and the never ending Dr visits I wanted to continue and so did my husband.
Thankfully I am now pregnant - I hope I carry full term, but if not, I have learned that I can become pregnant so we will most likely try again.

Take it a day and a cycle at a time...you will know what is right for you.

Good Luck!

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P.M.

answers from New York on

Boy, do I feel your pain. I was also very lucky with the first IVF, and have a baby boy who was born in Dec of 2005. At the time of IVF, we also froze 4 embryos. Just recently I went through an embryo transfer, which was much easier than IVF and actually got pregnant. Sadly at the 6/7 week scan, there was no heart beat. I had a D&C, and now just waiting for the levels to go down so I can try again. It's been very difficult emotionally; more so than the first try. Trying to coordinate with my husband so we don't have to disturb my son when I have to go for those early morning blood tests, knowing now what's it's like to have a child and wanting it more than I ever did before, dealing with the shots every night,... it's a lot of up and down. The failure of the IVF or any of the other procedure is not easy. It's like being on an emotional rollercoaster, and it is such a let down for such a lengthy process. We have to put so much of ourself into the process, and when it doesn't work... well I don't have to tell you. I will try again, I still have 2 more frozen embryos, and if that doesn't work I'll try IVF again. I don't know how much more I can do though, since your body goes through so much with the hormones and emotionally it's draining as well. I wish you the best, keep trying, but remember having only one child is still rewarding. If I'm not able to get pregnant again, then I'll just have to spoil my son even more :)

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M.L.

answers from New York on

hi there - I too am a mom to a 2 1/2 year old - girl- she was concieved through IVF and since then I have gone thrugh two more cycles all ending in neg. results. I'm fristrated and have decided to go for some alternative methods - acupuncture etc.....what's your next step?

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A.B.

answers from New York on

I am a physical therapist who had fertility issues and managed to conceive at age 45 with help of meds and a doctor who was very supportive. I have since been doing work with a group called Clear Passage Therapies working with women who have similar issues to yours. You should check out the website and maybe we will meet! Meantime, I believe if you did it once you can do it again so don't give up the faith!!!
You might just have adhesions about your pelvic region interfering with your uterus' ability to maintain a pregnancy.
NO BIG THING! Big hug and good luck!

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L.S.

answers from New York on

Hi K.. My husband I tried for over 3 years. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We went through the regular infertility testing, multiple times since the results expire after a year, a laparoscopy, and 6 IUI's before we got pregnant with our 1st IVF. I'm 41, so it's never too late. I understand the heartbreak and frustration, and it really can take over your life. There are a few things that I think helped us with our IVF. One, we did ICSI, acupuncture, and I took the week off work after embryo transfer, and gave myself permission to be a couch potato (which I could see would be challenging with a little boy). With that said, it seems like there's often no rhyme or reason as to why one succeeds in one cycle and not another. You just never know.

There are multiple web boards for women with infertility. That has helped me get through this alot, as well as my dog!

Good luck, and contact me if you have any questions.

-L. S

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J.F.

answers from Buffalo on

i am so sorry for the road you've had to travel so far! my husband and i haven't gone through as much as that yet, we are about to try our first round of IUI with Femara. We have had a full fertility workup and been trying for 15 months so i do understand the dissapointment and the emotional rollercoaster every month!!
a friend who spent 7 years doing tons of fertility procedures (with no success, but ended up adoption 2 amazing children!) recently told me that "no one can tell you they understand your situation. even though it might be similar everyone has a different path and everyone deals with circumstances very differently." it's an emotional one for us all though i think, and its nice to know we're not alone!

The absolute BEST resource i found online are the message boards on www.babyzone.com. I highly recommend you check them out!! don't get me wrong, this board is great too! but for 'Trying To Conceive', babyzone has the most amazing ladies and such great support. The boards are VERY active! there are women posting all day and you get such great response to any questions and great sympathy from many many other ladies who have been and currently are in your shoes!! i learned just about everything i know about TTC from these women! there are several different TTC boards on babyzone - just check them out under "Community" at the top of the homepage!
hope that helps a bit and good luck on your BFP!!! :)

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