Seeking Other Mom's or Grandmas That Lost Their Beloved Pet

Updated on November 16, 2009
L.S. asks from Saint Louis, MO
18 answers

Hi, I just had to put my one of two yorkies down this morning and I am so depressed!
I am a animal lover and have had other pets put down but this is so hard for me. She was
eleven and had diabetes, had surgery on her eyes(cornea transplant) she went blind, and
she aquired kidney failure on Wednesday and went downhill fast. We tried some measures
but they didn't work and last nite she got really bad. There is an aching in my heart
that I just can't shake! I know we did the right thing but I can't tell you how empty
I feel. My other yorkie is 14 and I will be a wreck when her time comes as well. I can
hardly be in the house without thinking of her little face. I guess I just want reassurance and comfort. Thank you in advance if anyone knows how I feel.

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So What Happened?

Hello Everyone... I cannot tell you how good it made me feel to know that so many people took their time to help me get
through this horrible time. I was afraid I would get some responses that were harsh but I have not. It of course is too
earlier to say it has gotten better, but I know it will. I don't feel guilty about putting her to sleep, mostly it is
an aching, gut wrenching feeling everytime I let Katie(my other yorkie) out or feed her or snuggle with her, that I start
crying and miss Emma so! These precious pets of mine have great little personalities and communicate with me so they are
like children to me. Today has been very hard and I have tried to keep busy. Thank you all so much for the comnfort
and encouragement you have given me,, I will never forget it! Nana of 6 L. Sanders

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I am so sorry to hear that. My dog had cancer and we had to put him down about 3 weeks ago. It was the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do. I know he is in no pain now and is watching over us. I does get easier,I still talk to him everyday. I miss him so much,he was my first baby. It helps me to think I'll be with him again one day. hang in there!!

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

When I lost my cat I was a wreck for a while. I just tried to keep busy and made a picture of her I can save. Now years later I think of her fondly and we aquired 2 more inot our lives that needed us

3 moms found this helpful
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R.P.

answers from Wichita on

Hi L., i just wanted to let you know that i have been there myself, i am sure that there are a lot of people out there who are experiencing what you are. i was still in high school when i lost my dog though. he was a rot/lab mix and too smart for his own good. we had to put a lock on the gate door because he figured out how to open the gate, we lived on one of the most busiest streets around and someone forgot to put the lock on the right way. he got out and got hit by a car, i came home from school and my family had him on the back of my dads truck and told me what had happened. he was only 2 or 3 yrs old but i had had him since he was 6 wks old. we also had a 9 yr old dog growing up that got ran over accidently by my aunt, my mom said she was only 9 pounds but she looked like she was just fur. it took me a while to get over my dog passing away. i still to this day think of him, and its been at least 10 yrs or more since he passed. it does get easier, just as with a loved one from the family when they pass. its still hard but it is easier. i hope this helps and my prayers are with you. God Bless, R.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I lost my little pug 2 years ago and I sometimes still tear up when I talk about her. We love our pets with all our heart and it's hard when they leave us. I was very depressed for about 2 weeks and finally had to make myself snap out of it when one day my son asked "Mommy, are you going to be sad again today?" It is hard but with time, it does get easier. Hang in there and know that your feelings are normal.

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D.W.

answers from Wichita on

It is always so hard to say goodbye to our furry friends.
However, sending them to the rainbow bridge is our last best gift of love for them when they're suffering.
Don't be afraid to grieve for your pet. Ignore those who belittle you for it, saying "oh get it over it, it's just a dog." We know better!
The pain of your loss will ease in time and their spirits live on in our hearts forever.
Find a way to help your memory of her--make a donation to your local shelter in her name, make a special scrapbook,or plant a rose bush or flowering shrub or tree in her memory...whatever feels most appropriate. Giving your hands something to do in her memory will make your heart feel less empty.
Kind regards,
Grandma D.

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

you poor thing, its such a hard time and you will cry for a long while over your pet, my samoyed died last year age 11, it was hard to see him ill, old and helpless, you will feel guilty in case you didnt do all you can, but dont be, if you loved your dog she would have felt that, and died happy and loved.
it took me a number of months to get over my dog, i know have another puppy, but i still think and cry over my milo, and it has been nearly 2 years! but i remember him with such fondness, and all the things we did together

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B.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I feel for you.

My first dog died when she was 12. It's been about a year and a half and I still miss her. We had gotten a puppy when she was about 11 so we still have the other dog (and have since gotten another too) but I do still miss the dog that died. I never had a dog growing up so I had no idea how hard it is when a dog dies. I was a mess myself for a week before and then some days after but trying to do and say the right thing for our kids.

I still miss her and my daughter said we can never take down her pictures. With time you will feel better. Another dog has helped, but certainly doesn't replace her. Does help the kids, too.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Losing a pet is like losing a best friend. When my rabbit passed a couple of years ago, I cried for most of the day, and still sometimes cry when I watch Hercules. (the bunny's name was Iolaus. He was super funny if alot of people on tv were yelling "Iolaus!" because he'd be looking around for whoever was calling him.) Your feelings are totally natural, and dont let anyone tell you "it was just a dog, get over it". One thing that helped a friend of mine was that they planted a tree in the backyard in the name of her pet, so she can look out the window and see Riley's tree. I'm really sorry to hear about your loss.

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K.C.

answers from Wichita on

You loved her and gave her a good home. I know it's hard. I've been through it, too. I do not know how you believe, but I do believe that we will see our pets again someday. I hold on to that hope. I'll be praying for you.

K.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I am so sorry for your loss. Of course it is depressing, you have lost a member of your family! Please know that it is okay to grieve and you need to take your time through this process.

Surround yourself with happy memories and pictures and we mammas will keep you in our thoughts.

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J.H.

answers from Kansas City on

L.,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We lost my beloved boxer over the summer. I am a mother to two beautiful active children who are 5 and 2, my Bronxy was 9 and was my baby well before I had babies. It tore my heart out when we lost him. We have two other dogs, who needed a good home and I consider my children's dogs. ;-) All I can tell you is time will easy your hurt. Bronx slept with us every night and laid his head in my lap anytime I sat on the couch. Losing a beloved pet is no different than losing a loved one, it just takes time. My kids still ask where Bronx is...And yes, it rips my heart out when they ask for him, not that they know that. ;-)
I wish you peace with your loss and know that God is there with Emma (and Bronx). ;-) Allow your heart time, all of the good memories will soon over take the hurt.
To your eased heart, J.

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K.K.

answers from Springfield on

L.,
You have just lost a family member, one who is as meaningful and as much a part of your life as your husband and children. You simply need time to grieve your loss.Many people have to complete the grieving process before they can consider "filling the void" with a new pet. Others I know never want another to even try and replace that loss. I would just say make sure you talk about it with someone you trust to support you in your grief. I haven't read the other responses but for me the loss of my childhood dog was after my oldest son was born. It was best for the dog but still very hard to adapt to the loss. I remember putting extra energy and love into my son to ease the ache a bit but there were a few days I would just have to break down, I think letting myself do that is what really helped me.

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S.B.

answers from Topeka on

I am so sorry! I know how you feel. My beloved cat was mauled by a huge wild feline-type creature. To this day we do not know exactly what kind of feline it was. It hurt us all so bad and I was actually afraid to go back outside for a few weeks. Also my parents had to put my childhood cat to sleep a few years ago. It was very hard on both my parents since Smokey was like one of their children.

Your mourning is only natural. It will get better, I promise. Pets become a part of our family, a part of our everyday lives. One day you will be able to put her in your memory box and only take her out when thinking about fond memories. But for now you are in the mourning process and it is perfectly okay to be sad.

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning L., I am so sorry for your loss. I understand completely the heartache of losing a furry family member. It's not something you forget easily. Our first pet was a cat, Panda, pure black and very independent. A Neighbor shot her in the leg when she was about 4, it got very infected before we found her and we had to put her down after alot of medical care that didn't work for her.

Our first dog Nikki was a German shepherd. She was 6 when we had to put her down ourselves. We had moved to our first home and wasn't able to have a fence yet. Nikki broke her back when she got tangled in the chain.

Two years later we were given a beautiful male Sheltie, Toby. He was such a sweet little guy, he got out of the fenced in yard with the neighbors dog the night before a Fall Festival. Never saw Toby again, I looked every where, posted pictures offered reward Nothing. Every time I heard a jingle I ran outside thinking it was Toby's collar and he came home. Neighbors dog came home. They said they saw Brutus come back figured Toby did too so didn't mention it.
Didn't want another dog, so we got a cat Sammi, she was a doll of a cat. Patches was one of Sammi's kittens, she stayed for a long time then took up residence at the local nursing home, those people fed Patch and really loved her, so we didn't feel right about taking her back.

Then there was Solomon and big Retriever, lab mix. We had moved again and had a privacy fence, he was alot of fun, but that tail could put a bruise on ya quick. We lived there for 6-7 yrs then hubby was transferred to TX. We couldn't take Solomon with us, a huge dog just wouldn't work in a 2 bd rm apartment for 2 months. My Aunt took him for us. They eventually had to put him down after several years, they took in troubled boys with mental conditions and one let Sol out, some one shot him in the rear quarter and he couldn't walk or even crawl.

In TX we had the chance to get a Shih Tzu for a lost less then the others sold for only because they needed to let her go quickly, they were going to PA for Christmas. That was my Molly, the sweetest, most lovable little lady ever.
She was my constant companion, followed me everywhere, went in the car with me, sat on my lap when reading or just watching tv. Every where I was Molly was right there.
Then Bubba came along, he was a brother to Molly with a litter in between. What a funny little guy, he had that snaggletooth look and when he shook his head his little jaws flapped.. We lived in TX 6 yrs then returned to KS with Both Molly & Bubba with us.
We have been back in KS 11 years, 3 yrs ago my hubby found my precious Molly 16 yrs old in the backyard. She was going blind, her hearing wasn't as good anymore. Her coat was getting thinner and sticky. He wouldn't let me see her at all, wrapped her in her favorite blanket and buried her in her favorite place in the Wildflower garden.
Bubba seemed so lost without her to play with or irritate her taking her toys.
By then we had gr kids, the two youngest then Asher 4, & Corbin 3, were in the yard playing and opened the gate and Bubba 15, left. We looked for over a month for him, called vets, humane society, posted signs, drove back roads, looking and knocking on doors, we did everything we could think of, no Bubba. He was such a cute little Shih Tuz we figured someone found him and took him home to love. That is what I want to believe anyway.

Now I have my sweet silly little Amber, Tan & White with Amber colored eye's, another Shih Tuz, She is Completely differnt coloring from my other two Shih Tzu's I didn't want another to look like Molly (white & Black) or Bubba (brown). I found her online and drove an hour away to get her. She is a silly little girl, takes receipts from my purse and eats them, loves to grab the tissue on the roll and pull it through the house. She is getting better at not doing that as much, she will be 2 in March. She has had a Nose job, one nostril was almost closed, spayed, and chip implanted. I am not taking a chance of losing another pet with a gate left open. Amber goes right to her kennel when told to at night, loves to play and lick Zane, runs from Corbin...lol She is a good vaccum cleaner too loves fish crackers as much as the boys do.

I have had a lot of Pets in my married life and several growing up, all of them hold a piece of my heart. Blackie a spaniel when i was little, Sluggo a chihuahua when I was in HS.
As your little girl Emme will always be with you in your heart, they are never replaced, we just add more love to our hearts when we find another furry friend we know will be a forever friend.

God Be with you L., Emme will always have a special place in your family.
K. Nana of 5

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J.K.

answers from St. Louis on

L.,
I am so sorry. My animals are my furry children. It is never easy to lose a dear part of the family. Love the wonderful 14 year old face in the house.
You need time to grieve.Both of you do.
In the future, this may be a while, go to a local shelter and adopt an older dog who needs the love you have to give. There are many wonderful loving former pets who need homes.
Remember grieve first and your other yorkie needs to always come first.

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K.O.

answers from Wichita on

I had a cocker spaniel/irish setter mix dog growing up and one summer when I was working as a nanny in another city, she got so handicapped, that my mom had to take her to the vet to be put to sleep. I cried for quite awhile.
Since then, I had not wanted a pet. A year ago in September, our family acquired "Sallie" (a poodle/terrier mix). I cannot imagine life without her so my heart goes out to you right now. I will pray for you.
I know this is recent, but since you also have another aging yorkie, have you considered getting a new yorkie puppy? He/she will not be a replacement, but will be a comfort when your other yorkie passes on.
Hang in there. Grieving takes time.

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K.E.

answers from Topeka on

I am so sorry to hear about your Emma. I, too, had a sweet little yorkie...he passed away from a stroke.
I think the hardest thing for me was not knowing what the respectful and proper thing to do with his remains. We don't have a respectable pet cemetery here, and I felt odd about having an urn in the house with his ashes. We found a company that will actually create diamonds out of either their ashes or fur.
It certainly was not an inexpensive route, but it was something that I will cherish forever. I now keep Rix close to my heart, in a beautiful pendant.
My heart goes out to you... and I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that your Emma has wings now.
If you're at all interested, you can check out lifegem.com. It brought me a world of comfort...maybe it can help you or someone you know.
God Bless!

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S.W.

answers from St. Louis on

L., we had to put our Pom to sleep for kindney failure a couple of years ago and it was so hard. As I would point out to my hubby while my Dusty was a live "I've had that dog longer than I've had you!" I loved that dog. I also had an Irish Setter when I had gotten married and she died about 3 years into my marriage. Those 2 were my first "babies" and it was so hard to loose both of them. They were both great dogs and so good with my kids. As with anything, time will help. I couldn't even talk about Dusty with out crying for about a week. And I will still stare out at the tree that he's buried under and think about him (my husband put him where I'd always know right where her was). It's like loosing any loved one and it's just going to take time. We had gotten a puppy a about a year before Dusty died. And I'm so happy that I had her. She is a great dog, does not take Dusty's place but made it so much easier to have fury face to look at. I don't think that you should rush out and get another dog, but have you thought of volenteering at the local animal shelter? Being around and helping other doggies may help. Just give it some time and it will get easier. God Bless!

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