Seeking OBGYN Who Is Good at Easing Fears of Pregnancy/childbirth

Updated on November 16, 2010
L.A. asks from Havertown, PA
7 answers

My husband and I recently moved to the area and we are thinking about having a baby.We've talked about it for years and now we're in a good place. A few years back, I had a miscarriage, so I've had some not so wonderful experiences. That experience seemed to just increase/magnify my fears of labor, delivery, etc. I'm looking for a recommendation for an OBGYN who would be a good fit for someone trying to overcome these fears and have a happy, healthy pregnancy.
I've talked to a few doctor's about my concerns and they dismiss me. They tell me that I'm worrying over nothing and that I should just get over it. (How I wish I could!) My family lives far away so I don't have much of a local network. If anyone could recommend a doctor that would be able to help ease my fears, I would really appreciate it. I would prefer a woman, but I'm open to any suggestions.

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So What Happened?

I want to say thank you to everyone for their posts, kind words, and recommendations. I tried to get an appointment with Dr. Ufberg and was able to schedule something, however he focuses his time on pregnant patients. I did see Maria -- the GYN within his practice. She was very kind and sympathetic. She asked a lot of questions and was understanding to my fears considering my situation. It was nice to talk with someone about my fears and not get "dismissed." Having not met Dr. Ufberg, I'm still unsure of how I'll be with a male doctor down there. But I can say that Maria was real, genuine and engaging. I suspect he can't be far from that. In the meantime, I'm trying to read what I can (without scaring myself), talk to some moms and get more "good experience" stories in my memory.
Thanks again to everyone for the help and recommendations. It was wonderful to see that I wasn't posting to a lonely board.

More Answers

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D.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi L.! I'll piggyback on Tracy M. with Dr. Castelli. I've actually never met him, but I know his wife very well and if she's any indication of how compassionate her husband is than you're set!!
I was not recommended to him when I first moved here so I go to the practice of Dr. Maggie Peden and Assoc. out of Lankenau Hospital. She is very kind and has a great bedside manner. There are 2 women (Patricia McConnell) and 2 men. You could schedule your appointments with just the women! But keep in mind that you can't control when you deliver so you might get one of the men, who are both good as well.
Best of luck to you! I would just encourage you to be up front with the OB's and express your fears and if they write you off, write them off!!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

I also highly recommend The Birth Center in Bryn Mawr. While I have not had a miscarriage, I have had friends and a sister who did, and they all reported feeling so supported and encouraged by the midwives there. My sister actually was under the care of the OBs and midwives at Penn for that miscarriage, but was frustrated by their attitude and wound up going to The Birth Center for follow-up after her D&E. In her words, "I got so much more compassion and empathy from the first two phone calls I made to The Birth Center compared to all the visits I had with the other office."

I will also say that, for the recent birth of my second child, I wound up at Bryn Mawr hospital and was seen by Dr. Bernardini and Dr. Dardarian, both of whom are with Main Line Women's Health. I really liked both of them, and Dr. Dardarian wound up performing the c-section I ultimately needed for a very large baby. If I had to choose an OB around here, I would go with them. They had great bedside manner, but were also matter-of-fact and clear. And the c-section was, surprisingly, not that big a deal and I recovered very well from it. Who knows if that's Dr. Dardarian's skill or just luck, but I do think he and the surgical team at Bryn Mawr are very very good.

Good luck!

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am from havertown also. Have you tried Dr. Castelli? He is with Bryn Mawr. He used to have a nurse practitioner named Laura, she was amazing. She may still be there, it has been a while since i was there. Dr. Castelli is very nice, but very matter of fact. I referred my sister and bf to him. I was referred by my sister in law in 1996. I wish you lots of luck on your journey! Please feel free to email me with any questions :)

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C.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

David D Ufberg at Lankaneau Hospital is amazing.
He was highly recommended to me years ago by a friend who now has three kids, she traveled from New Jersey to see him.
Personally, I have had 2 miscarriages, 1 child, 1 miscarriage and am now expecting again in February. He has been amazing though all the ups and downs.
Lankenau Hospital, MOB South, Suite 307
100 East Lancaster Avenue
Wynnewood, PA 19096
###-###-####

his wife is also an OBGYN in another practice and together they have a few kids, I think he really gets the issues that I am dealing with. I also live in Havertown and like the convenience of the local hospital that has a new maternity ward. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would second the recommendation to get a doula and would add going to a birth class that is several weeks long. I had a miscarriage and a lot of fear during my second pregnancy. While my doctor was wonderful, she wasn't in a possition to have longer conversations about concerns. Both with my doula and my birth class I felt like I got that covered. It was helpful to talk about fears with my peers, and to get guidance from someone who had experience with many, many births. Also, I recommend reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. While it is very biased towards natural childbirth, the stories of people's childbirth experiences are very empowering. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Dear L.,

I am sorry for your loss and I understand your fears.

I strongly recommend Bryn Mawr Birth Center. A source of nurse practicioners and nurses with an overseeing OBGYN focused on woman centered needs and support for the whole family. Both my children were pre-birth and birth cared for through this practise. BUT what I found so amazing about them is that in between my children's births, I had a miscarriage at 3 months AND I was in Spain at the time. When I suspected something was wrong, I called the states and left a message with the Birth Center's answering service. I recieved a call back to Spain immediately at what was 2am US time. While being optomistic and supportive they also prepared me for the worst case scenario. And upon my return home, they called me to check on me, arranged a post miscarriage evaluation, offered me their support services, and counceled myself and my husband on the possibilities of trying again for a child.

For a very heart-wrenching time on our family's life, I found the Bryn Mawr Birth Center to be compassionate, supportive, caring, and never dismissive.

I suggest you give them a call for a visit. ###-###-####).

All the best,
ann m.

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A.O.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello! I have two answers to this question.
I would definitely recommend Dr. Bernardini with Bryn Mawr. I worked with her recently, and was impressed with her bedside manner. Of course, keep in mind, that if you go with one doctor in the practice, you may get any of them when you are actually in labor. Have you thought about a midwife? Most of them take the time to be with you and work with you emotionally.
Second, I would HIGHLY recommend getting a doula. As a doula in the area for 6 years, I can tell you that doulas assist women with this everyday. They can help you find strategies that work, coping skills, and they have time to work through this with you.
RARELY will you find a doctor who will take the time to do this, so just beware. Most of them are only in the room as you are push.
Please let me know if I can help you find a doula!

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