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Hi J. - I am 33 and have an 8 month old. Though I'm not currently working (we just moved here) I worked up until she was 6 months old and I can tell you this -- it is so much easier to get things done when you are working. Now that I'm home w/ her, I don't find any time to get things done. When she was being cared for while I was at work, I could run out at my lunch hour for a quick errand, etc. If you want to chat more about this, let me know! It's tough going back to work after that special bonding time, though...I understand your predicament. It gets easier! :)

Why would you want to go back to work? The parents are supposed to raise their small children, not someone else. When kids are in school most of the day, then that is different. I work from home and make a heck of a lot more than I did working full time for someone else on their hours and especially after paying daycare. Consider finding a job to do from home. Direct sales is booming for a reason! Find one that fits you!

Hi J.,

I was one year older than you when I had my first and went back to wrok full time. For me, it was all a matter of childcare. I ended up having some one come to my house, and she did light housekeeping while taking superb care of the baby. Scheduling appointments, and running errands are difficult. You could hire a sitter one day a week, or ask your husband to pick up some of those responsibilities. The best solution is to train your baby to do those things with you, and there is a learning curve with that, so be patient if it doesn't work the first couple of times. Through trial and error, you will find the best solution for you and your family. Good luck

Good advice from Dawny M. Also, if you have flexibility in your lunch hour...try to run errands then. Bringing your child will slow everything else down, and they don't have fun running errands. Also, try not to schedule too many extra activities for the weekends in those first few weeks...you and your hubby and your child will need that for down time to get used to the new schedule. As for cleaning, try to find room in the budget to hire a cleaning lady. We tried to skimp pennies, and clean ourselves. In the end, we had a dirty house that stressed us out all the time. Best to start out with a clean house until you get used to the new time schedule. Lastly, be prepared for your child to get sick. I went back to work around this same time of year, and my son got sick all the time. It happens!! Have some back up friends or family to help you out with your sick child. I used to feel guilty and would try to be home with him all the time when he was sick. My employer was generous with time to work at home...but it was a lot of stress on me. Good luck - it will feel like you are doing the impossible...but you will get used to the new schedule after some time!

Check out Flylady.net she has the best most useable advice out there!!!!

Good Luck J. - I will share that I went back to work full time after 10 weeks after having a 4lb premie and nursed him until he 18 months (I pumped during work hours) he never took a paci or any formual....anything is possible. I think ppl just are understanding and frankly everyone has something going on personally so yours is your baby. Get the best daycare you can....it will take a load off of your mind. My other advise still years later the neatness of my house is not a priority, I do the best I can there. I do one grocery trip a week and do all my errands on the weekends with the kids and often my husband all in tow......this is all the time we have and truth is I love being with them. I have always made one or two meals on Sundays to get me ready for the week or to freeze and I love the crockpot .....at least there will be leftovers. Also exercise does help...it is the hardest thing to fit in especially when they are that young but it can really help and be your me time. Chemically what it does to your body is calming and so helpful at relieving stress. I have now found a Curves close to work and workout over lunch.

I will share with you I have two school age children now and both are well adjusted and have done very well socially and in school. You will never look back years from now and say I wish I spent more time at work or working on that project or I wish I had kept a cleaner house so let some of those things go.

Wishing you the very best....oh and by the way every mom cries on the first day when you leave them and you can call 6 times each day that first week totally ok.

If you have the option, work part time or quit.

If you must work, consider a "mothers helper/nanny" who comes to YOUR house. This is the least disruptive for the baby and for your family. Some will even do some light cleaning/food prep and/or shopping for you. You control the "contract" with the individual (often ex-day care employees).

Do the best you can and be ready when things are out of balance, it will happen. Just regroup and follow your heart, not your wallet...

Steamline. Do only the basics and delegate. A little forethought will make things so much easier. Such as making two meals at once, and freezing one. How about a slow cooker (crock pot)? As for cleaning, do a little everyday, rather than a bunch on your day off. Check out www.flylady.net for more info.

Good luck with your new adventure,

S.

You've gotten a lot of good advice already but I'll add my two cents. Routines are good for your child AND you. I think I lost lots of brain cells when I had my children and can't remember anything.

Keep 1 calendar, 1 to-do list, and 1 shopping list with you at all times and use it. Setup a routine and menu for the week. He's young so you still only have to worry about meals for yourselves but it's good practice. You will not get everything done. Focus on the essentials and some time to simply unwind with your son.

I try to just sit with my kids when I get home for about 1/2 hour. Even this is hard to do now they are in school and have activities.

I'm 28 and I went back to work part-time, then full-time to school and working part-time, now working full-time , all since my daughter was 3 months old. Now, I teach and she goes to day care (we call it school) everyday. You can do it, it's really not that hard and I am not sure why everyone thinks working mothers have it so tough. I believe that in life, you get what you can handle, and you can do it. I keep a big calender in the kitchen and write everything down in pencil immediately when I know something is going on, and if it changes, I just erase it. I get groceries about once a week, usually with my daughter or we all go together. Me time is after she goes to bed, or I just get up earlier. Most of my friends have children now, so we hang out during playdates or we get together on weekend nights when a significant other can watch the kids. With a child, family time is a lot easier now that she is older and we do stuff all the time together when we are not working. I clean when she naps, or my fiance does a huge share of the work too. Sometimes, the house just doesn't get clean, or we dont' have time to grocery shop, that's life. Good luck!!!

I have two kids (4.5 and 10 mos) and work full time. I also stayed home with first until he was 4 mos. Here is my advice:

1. Hire a cleaning lady to come every 2 weeks if you can afford it. Many cleaning services will also allow you to limit the rooms cleaned (i.e. to keep the cost down if necessary only have them do the kitchen, baths, floors or whatever)

2. If you cannot hire a cleaning lady, make a cleaning chart that has each room and task to be done. I used to clean part of the house Thurs night after my son when to sleep and rest sat morning (before i got a cleaning lady)

3. Make out a meal plan and do your shoppping based on the meal schedule. Prep ahead of time what you can (i.e. cut up the chicken for Monday's dinner on sunday). Stick to easy meals (one dish meals in winter/stews/crock pot/pasta and veggies and fruit and grill as much as possible in the summer).

4. Absolutely schedule time for you. You just have to do this. I work out 3-5 times a week (I do often take the kids) but I just have to go. Meet your girlfriends for drinks, get a pedicare. Whatever you feel you need. I schedule it on my and my husband's calender with a note to him to plan on being home with the kids.

5. Have your husband help! Give him specific tasks.

Good luck...

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J., You've received some great advice...esp from Dawny...and "Fly Lady" is great. Have you ever thought about working from home? I tried working outside our home and we decided that we were turning over too much parenting time. I know many people are fine with the relationship with the daycare provider...some are good situations.
Do you ever dream of being able to stay home with your darling and still make a significant income?
If yes, and you are curious, I would love to have a conversation with you to see if it could be a good fit for you.
M.

If your budget allows for it, you may want to consider hiring someone in to clean the house... When I went back to work, I adjusted our budget and hired a service to come in every other week and clean the house. This has been money WELL spent!

But if that is not in your budget (understandably, our economy stinks and many cannot afford this), I would recommend spreading things out. I used to be the kind of person that wanted to take a huge chunk of time each week and clean the entire house and do all the laundry all at once. I loved the feeling of sitting down and relaxing in my perfectly cleaned house when I was finished. Well, I gave that up soon after having my daughter. Now, on the weeks that I don't have the house cleaning service, I do a quick cleaning of the kitchen and bathrooms and I vacuum the living room (spend about 45 min while my daughter is napping). Beyond that, I generally try to do one "chore" each night of the week after putting my daughter to bed. It may simply be emptying the dishwasher or folding a load or two of laundry - but that small amount of time finishing small chores helps. My best advice is to do chores in small time increments.

First of all, are you a single mom or do you have a hubby? Tell him you need help with everything. One day a week when you're both home (include any older children you may have)require that everyone work together to get all major household chores done. Believe it or not, that counts as family time. Make sure you do or someone does 1 load of laundry a day so you're not overwhelmed. Never make just one meal unless you're using leftovers. Plan each dinner so that it creates leftovers for lunches or another meal. Even though you may really really want to do so, daddy's CAN take babies/children to pediatrician appts. I keep a running grocery list on my fridge and tell everyone to add to it as needed, and put a star next to urgent items. On the reverse side is a list of dinners that could be made with items we have on hand to make it easier to figure "what's for dinner?"
Just make sure you include hubby and other children to carry part of the load or you will be doing EVERYTHING yourself. And if you have a choice between dusting/vacuuming or playing with your children, choose the latter. My oldest remembers that I cooked and cleaned all the time. My younger ones remember that I always played with them. The best of luck to you!

AS a working mom i found that I was stressing to get the house work done and not spending nearly enough time with my son. One day a wise woman (my mother-in-law) said to me "the house work will be there tomorrow, your child is only this age once." I live by this moto and it's funny, everything gets done and my house is clean, but most important I feel that I get qualilty time with my son.

My tips are:
1) From the VERY BEGINNING be sure that, if you have a husband or partner, the two of you make it clear what your expectations are for housework. We both work full time and housework is a huge stressor. If you start off trying to everything yourself, it is virtually impossible to later set a new standard.
2) Expect that your house is probably going to a little chaotic and dirty! Sleep is more important.
3) If you can afford it, get someone to clean your house.
4) Accept any and all offers of help--if someone wants to run and errand for you, let them.
5) If you belong to a gym, use that as your time (esp if they have childcare). I have twins, and sometimes the gym was the only chance I got to shower. SOmetimes I even read a book in the lobby area before going to pick them up.
6) Get organized about groceries--make a specific list and stick to it, it will make your shopping trips better and faster. Stop at the grocery store on your way home from work so you don't make extra trips in the evening or weekend.
7) It is hard to make time for appointments, but be sure you do. Taking care of your health is very important. So is doing stuff like hair and nails, for your sanity! If your job is flexible, maybe shift your hours a little to give yourself a few hours every month to get this kind of stuff done.

Whew. That was a lot, sorry. Good luck with returning to work! It is hard, but I am very happy being back to work full time.

Good advice here, although I think it's hard for many families to budget for the services of a cleaning company during these times. I have been using the menu-planning site e-mealz.com -- A weekly shopping list and very well organized menu/cooking instructions are available for many different stores (based on their sales) I use the lo-carb Walmart plan, but seem to save more money using the list at Meijer. We have 2 little boys and have enough left over for lunches. It costs about $1.25/week, and is well worth it!

You have to find a schedule that will work for you but here is what I have found. "Me" time is usually hard to get but the rest will work itself in. I may do a load of laundry a day so I don't spend all day doing it at once. I try to do shopping on a Saturday or Sunday and my kids go with me. I try to keep up on dishes by doing them before I go to work in the morning or after the kids go to bed. That is usually when I fold the laundry too. We do the family walks with a jogging stroller. I get my walking in and the kids love it too. I usually do that after my sons last bottle so he is ready for bed when we get home. I hope this helps. Good luck!

I went back to work when my daughter was 14 weeks old she is now 4&1/2 years old. Here are few things that worked for my family.

Plan your meals out the week before, first it makes things easier on you or your other half depending on who is cooking. Second it will help save on the grocery bill. I perfered to do this either early on the weekend morning on my own giving my husband time with my daughter or during the week after she went down to bed for the night. (by the way a bed time routine is very important and while it sucks to take away time with your child an early bed time is very good for both of you my daughter was always in bed by 8 and still is-which will make school easier next year when she goes to the big K-something I see my neighbors struggle with because they always let thier kids stay up until 10)

As far as cleaning goes, you and your husband will need to come to an agreement on who does what or to agree that everything does not need to be as perfect as it used to be if a cleaning service is not an option. Laundry the same way my husband did towels for a long while, and I did the rest on the weekend.

This plan worked great for us up until this past June when I lost my job. I wish you the best of luck.
R.

My son is now 28 mos old and I'm still trying to find the right balance and figure out how to do 'everything'!!

Basically, if you are married, be sure to let your hubby know that you do need (and expect) him to help. (If you aren't married, take up offers from family/friends to help - either by keeping baby company so you can do it, or to help with the housework.)

Realize that something has to give - especially early on. Housework will always be there - it's okay to not get it all done. Unfortunately, "me" time also tends to be less - but you can learn to still do what you need to do. (For instance, if me time is working out - you can see if your gym offers child care, or find/borrow a jogging stroller, take a baby & me class, etc.)

With work, realize your limitations - be completely organized and handle your tasks, try to make it where you aren't staying late or bringing work home (that is sometimes inevitable, but it does add to the guilt when it's taking away from family time or other things needing to get done).

Definitely figure out the chores and shopping and determine who will do what. Do what you can when baby is sleeping - but also realize that if you need a break, to take it. You have to take care of yourself, too!!

Best wishes and know that it does get easier....but it doesn't necessarily mean you find your 'ideal' right away! As the baby grows and changes, your schedule with the baby changes, too. (For instance, he may be content in the swing now so you can mop the floors - there comes a point when he recognizes you're not in the room or wants to be down, and it's not quite so easy to get that little bit of time for whatever task...) Be as flexible as you can, and even when you come up with a plan/schedule realize it can always be changed if it's not working for you.