Seeking Help W/ Rebellious Toddler Removing Seat Belt!

www.raisinggoldytomatoes.com is a good site for dealing with rebelliousness in keds. We are dealing with obeying too:)

I dissagree with him still being in a 5 point harness car seat. At 4, most boys are too big for a car seat like that. Also, if they are too big,then you are right, they are not truly safe. Even if they are within the weight but their feet dangle straight down and their head is above or at the top of the head rest, they are too big. You are doing the right thing with giving him a consequence. Explain to him that if he does it again, than this will be taken away or he will not be able to do something that he wants/ loves to do. The trick is to follow through with what you are saying you are going to do. No matter how much he cries or begs or asks for a second chance you need to stand firm and not give in. Kids, in the long run, react positively to this, and will know the next time you give a consequence you mean it. Kids need to be given choices (makes them feel good) and they need to know that there is a consequence when they make the wrong choice. Early learning will make them better kids with far less behavior issues. The biggest mistake you can make is to keep giving him one more chance and/or not following through on punishments. Next time you get in the car (before you start to drive) tell him flat out that their are no more chances when it comes to keeping his seat belt on. Explain that it's dangerous and against the law. Tell him right then what will happen if he does it again. Hopefully that will be enough for him to know that you are not kidding. If not, then follow through with his punishment. Sometimes that means more work for us or that we might have to give something up as well, but in the long run it's worth it.

Good Luck

logical consequences would be since he is acting like a baby and not showing he is able to handle a seat belt, he has to go back into a 5 pt harness. If he still has issues with that, then you can buy another clip thing and put it on upside down/backwards or safety pin it or something so he has NO control over it anymore. Explain this to him, that you are taking away the issue and moving him back to the 5 pt harness for his safety since you can't trust him to be safe in a seat belt.

I would consider a child safety seat as opposed to a booster seat. There are quite a few seats now that go up to 65 or even 80 pounds. It is actually the opposite- children are much safer in a 5-point harness than a booster seat as long as you get one that meets the weight requirement. Otherwise I don't know- I have been hoping my kids wouldn't figure this out and so far they haven't but they are still in safety seats, I haven't tried the boosters yet.

We are going through the same thing. I called our local police station and they said they I should stop by and they would talk to him about the safety of car seats:) Hope this helps!

My story:-)

The kids, I and grandma went grocery shopping. When we left the store my then 4 yo daughter absolutely refused to put her seatbelt on. I tried talking to her, putting the seatbelt back on... Nothing was working.

So I said, "There are laws in the state of Illinois that say Mommy isn't supposed to drive unless you wear your seatbelt. If you don't put your seatbelt on so you are safe when I drive, I will drive you to the police department so you can explain to the officer that you won't wear your seatbelt."

Well she didn't believe me and put it to the test immediately.

So I drove directly to the police station with Grandma saying, "You're not really gonna do that are you..."

When we got there, I took her into the police station (by then she had buckled up) but we still went inside.

I explained the situation and an officer came out. They were awesome! They explained the importance of wearing her seatbelt... and even walked out to the van to show her how to properly buckle up:-)

I never had a problem with her younger siblings because she made sure they buckled up by telling them her saga. It's still a topic of conversation when we drive by the police station to this day and she is now 12 yo:-)

One of those my mom is totally crazy kind of conversations... but it worked.

J.

I agree with the previous writer. The kids today are WAY too coddled and, in my personal opinion, we TALK too much - they just aren't listening. A good spanking may do the trick and true consequences given that you MUST stick to. When my kids were young, if I had to get up off the chair they'd better run. And, they turned out to be happy, productive, NICE adults. He must be safe in a car. Put him in a 5 point car seat he can't maneuver and stop taking this nonsense. Sorry if this is harsh, but, this preschool teacher has seen enough to curl your hair in the recent past that I HAVE to ignore because of my job. Good luck in your quest.

There are a lot of baby convertible seats that go up to 65 or even 85 pounds. I have no ideas other than that. Good Luck!

We too have three boys. All of them went through this same phase at 4yrs. It helped to "pull over" and refuse to go anywhere until they decided to let us rebuckle. If I acted as if the pulling over did not bother me, it seemed like a punishment to them. If I made a big deal of the stopping, they seemed to still hold the control and contiuned to fight me. I began letting them know that they were in charge of when we continued our drive but I would not even think about doing anything other than reading my magazine until they were ready to let me buckle them. I could wait... So, I would try pulling over and casually saying, "ok, we will keeping driving when you are rerady". I stopped trying to rebuckle them until they could tell me they were ready and seemed willing to sit for it. Bring some reading for yourself (although it never really took all that long for my two older sons). My third son was more challenging, and we had to discuss "taking away" his big boy seat. We got out his "baby seat", and sitting in it once for a short drive cured him of the seat belt issue. We left it in sight for a while just as a reminder.
Hope this helps. It is really frustrating.

Hi B.,

My little guy did the same thing I bought him a britax toddler seat it has a 5 point harness just like his previous car seat. It is good until 80 pounds and he can not undo it!

Hi B., I agree with some others about using the police. My co-worker had a similiar situation & 1 trip to the station & they put Mommy in hand cuffs & explained to the little guy a few things-problem solved. Good luck.

I would explain seat belt safety and let him know it's the law and you can get a ticket if not buckled. Also let him know before he gets in the car, that if he unbuckles he will have privileges taken away and then follow through if it happens and be consistent. Good luck.

Head to the police station, they will send an officer out to your car to explain the importance of seatbelts and safety.

They sell this sticky type of velcro tab that you can stick to the seatbelt clip/button. It's made of plastic, but it's kinda of pitchy - so that the little ones don't do that. I'm not sure what it's called, but I want to say I bought them at Buy Buy Baby or Babies R Us.

As far as taking him out of the 5 point harness. DON'T DO THAT. They are 100 times safer than a booster chair or seatbelt anyday. We have a safety First 5 point harness chair and they can stay in there until they are 65 pounds.

If you allow him to listen to a CD while driving, don't allow him to listen to it. He should snap out of it right away.

Is there a special toy/blanket/similar object that you could take away if he does it? With my 4-year-old, it's very effective if I take away her favorite doll when she's done something wrong.

Otherwise, they do make seat belt covers that will prevent him from being able to undo it.
http://www.mypreciouskid.com/seat-belt-cover-angel-guard....

Good luck to you!

HAve you tried to put the lock for te hseatbelt backwards? I have a van and when my kids accidently put the clip into the lock backwards they have a hard time getting out. Maybe that will work.

Check with Babies R Us or another similar store, I swear I saw some there that was a safety you can put on the seat belt so they can not get it off.

He should still be in a 5 point harness anyway. Invest the $$$ and make him safer. The Britax Frontier is awesome. I've heard great things about the Sunshine Kids one too.

I agree wholeheartedly with what Courtney has to say.

He can't act like a big boy? Then he gets to go back in the baby seat.

Check the video. See if that will help.

http://babycrazyuniversity.com/BabyCrazySeatSnugVideo.wmv

To purchase the product visit

http://www.iambabycrazy.com/rr

Thanks
V.

Don't take him with you anymore (at least till he learns you mean business). You have to get thru to him that seatbelts are the LAW, not just you and until he learn to ride with the belt on, he no longer gets the priveledge of going with mommy.

Yes, 3 boys too, my middle just turned 4 and when he takes his belt off I tell him he'll have to back into the baby car seat. We have a Britax which is good until 60 lbs., so technically he could easily go back in there. Or, I look for a police man and tell him were going to get pulled over and mommy will get in BIG trouble if he doesn't have his belt strapped. It's worked so far, although I have driven blocks with him on the floor in the back before I realized he was out!

Hey B.,
I would give him something that he is only allowed to play with in the car- something really cool that he will want to leave the belt on for. If he takes it off, he loses the toy.
Or you can work out a rewards system that gives him a sticker for everytime he leaves it on during the week and at the end of the week if he got a sticker all 5 days, he gets to go someplace cool. We did this to potty train and it worked awesome. Or if you think waiting the week is too long, you can offer him some kind of reward at the end of the day (what I would do for potty training is hit the dollar store and stock up on $1 toys. I'd wrap them up and my son would get one at the of the potty routine- if he cooperated with all the rules.) I did this for about two weeks and then faded the rewards out and just praised him to death for doing such a great job on the potty.
I would definately explain to him (which you probably have, but anyway) about how when he keeps his seatbelt on, he's practicing safety and how important it is to practice safety in the car.
Also, for you- looking at what happens just before he takes the belt off. Does he need more attention when you get in the car, is he bored, etc. Trying to find something that makes it worth his while to stay in the seat practicing safety.
Also and just as a side note- Is the seat new? If so, is there something about the way it fits on him that he doesn't like? Talk to him about it and see what he says. There might be a good explaination.
Just from parent to parent, I have heard that those boosters are not all that safe. My son is 4 1/2 and I still have him in a 5-point harness.
I hope that helps! Hang in there!
blessings,
J.

I did not read through all your responses so this may be redundant...

How about a sticker chart where he can earn a special time with mom or dad or both. He gets a sticker for every ride where he leaves his seat belt on earning a special time after a set number of stickers is earned. You could also continue with taking away something he loves when he refuses to keep his belt on as well as the loss of a sticker.

A friend of mine also had her child speak to the police about seatbelts.

Good luck

Here are some resources that you might find helpful...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

Best wishes,
J.