Seeking Help on How to Dicipline 6 Year Old

Updated on March 10, 2008
S.D. asks from Washington, DC
12 answers

I have a 6 year old boy thats acking up in school. I have taken away all toys,he can not watch t.v..The only thing that he has left is Karote and I hate to take him out of that because they have taught him so much.I really think this school is going to kick him out.PLEASE HELP!!

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So What Happened?

Malik is acking good in class his teacher sends me good reports everyday.Next week I will do a surpise visit to his class to make sure he stays on track. We talk about how important it is to be good in class and I think by me taking away his farovite toys he's really acking good because he knows thats the only way he going to get them back. Thank you all for all the responses to my request..

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J.K.

answers from Norfolk on

what i do is i make them do push ups sit ups and run around the house it works.
my name is J. let me no how it works.
____@____.com

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M.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I would advise finding something that means alot to him to take away. My oldest (now 18 and in college) was a laid back kid and no restriction or punishment seemed to bother him. But he was a money saver, so my husband and I came up with a fine system that he had to pay with his own money for misbahavior. As we didn't expect him to be perfect, we had a tally system where he could earn or loose tallies on a daily basis. If he had more then one at the end of the day he had to pay 50 cents for every tally. If he had 1 or less he was good. It only took a few weeks and I have to say most days he tried his best and didn't pay. Of course, we put the money into his savings account. He didn't know that until he got older, because then he wouldn't have cared about that either!

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D.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm not a mother but i have experience with kids his age....have you considered the young marines program...i gaurantee that if you sent him their your child will experience some drastic changes... Or maybe he's trying to get your attention by acting up...that's what i used to do. when i acted up that was the only time my mom would spend any time with me....i don't know if this helps

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K.T.

answers from Roanoke on

Stop taking away and give! After school time with you at a park, running around the school track. Six year old have a lot of No's in their life. School is hard to adjust to sitting for long periods of time, many schools have limited PT time. Take him to the park and pick or photograph things to identify later. Use this time to talk and him and you will find out what is really going on. He is hurting and confused by this new regularity in his life and is rebelling like a pup.
If his inappropriate behavior continues then his discipline is to sit for X amount of time, with a Natural Geographic magazine (great color, shiny and Large photos). and pick out the animals he likes and will need to share what he knows about them.
I had two sons twenty months apart and they were"boys" they now have their own children and use some of the same things I used with them.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

6 is a hard age. My son is going through something similar where he won't pay attention in school or do his work. He just sits there and stares into space. We get notes from the teacher at least once a week. Turns out that he is a visual learner and just needs some more structure. The teacher telling him that he had 'about five minutes' to finish something means nothing to him, but now when she says, 'when the big hand is on the 5, you need to be done', he gets it and can see that he's running out of time.
As far as punishment, I don't know the extent of his trouble, but I suggest not being too hard. I too have taken away toys, and even thrown some in the trash! That was the talk of the neighborhood! We take something away for short periods of time. No tv for the rest of the night, or until tomorrow. Depending on what the issue was. Just this week he lost his xbox for 3 days for talking back to us.
Perhaps make up a rewards/losses chart so that he can see what will happen if he behaves or misbehaves. You have to keep in mind that he is just a kid and if you take everything away, and never return the item or privelege then he has nothing to behave for.
Just some thoughts.
Meg

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D.M.

answers from Norfolk on

first off have you got the school counsler invoulved? Do you have him in any kind of play grps outside school or karate? You might want to get him in sports like football or something. Explain to him that when he gets older if he dont stop that people will not have anything to do with him if it does not stop talk to him one on one with what the provblem at school is. Ask him with lots of love why does he do the things he does at school. You need to get down to his level. We had taken my nephew in from my sister in law that was out of control and that was the things we did. Take him to a juvinal center and let him see what they have to do there they will let you come in talk to a police officer to see if they will talk to him sometimes that will help. Hope some of these ideas help

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C.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Dear S.,
You might want to take a look at what he is eating. Preservatives and Dyes in food are nervous system irritants that can cause all kinds of reactions, esp.,in a child's body. Red dye used to cause my daughter to have terrible temper tantrums and yellow dye made her have super strength, put those two together and the winning combination was all out war. The hard thing is trying to get it diagnosed. The easiest and fastest way is to read the book "Is this your child?" And do the multi-elimination diet contained in the book. It takes two weeks to get you body clean of these products, then you can add them slowly back into the diet, one at a time while watching for reactions. It was a wonderful help for us and hundreds of others that I have known. We did the diet as a family and I found out that I had sensitivities to eggs and milk. That was something I hadn't known before. Now if I get a running nose, I know it is because I ate something containing them. Also if my daughter gets into a bad mood, even 12 years later, I ask her what she has eaten and usually dyes are still the culprit. As a child you can regulate what they eat and warn the school not to give them candy, but as a teen it is up to them to decide what they get and how they want to feel. If they know what is what for them, then they can make an informed choice, and so can we. C. in VA

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L.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi S.,
You need to sit down with him one on one and talk to him. Make it a casual conversation, and try to pull out of him what is bothering him. I would also have a conversation with him about "touching" in case something of that sort has happened. Talk about good touching and bad touching and not keeping secrets from mommy and daddy. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It's always good to have those type of discussions periodically with your children. Also, have there been any deaths or life changing situations at home? What kind of acting out is he doing? The bulling, as suggested may be it, but what about other people in his life? Did this just start or has it been on going? Good luck and let us know how he's doing.

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O.D.

answers from Charlottesville on

Are you employed full time? I ask because I had a similar problem with my son only in middle school. I took off work and showed up at the school surprising him and sat through his classes with him. He was a perfect angel! From that point on, all I had to do was say a teacher emailed me or called me and his behavior would change. He knew I would come to school again and a young man wants nothing less than to have his mother sit through class with him. It also reassures the teacher(s) that you are on their side, therefore lessening his chance of getting kicked out. Does he also misbehave at home? If not, this may be a solution for you because he will not want to misbehave in front of you, just make sure there are consequences if he does. My son's consequences were he would have to sit in the dining room and read books aloud to me for an hour every night. His vocabulary improved and so did his attitude.

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M.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

Hi S.,
First, I would suggest that you find out what is going on at school. Are there any children bullying or picking on your son? How are his teachers responding to him? Go to school and observe for yourself, It's amazing what you can pick up on.
My 7 year old was acting up at his old school but he was reacting to a bullying situation. You may need to be an advocate for your child if you feel something is not right at school. Your son may also need to be challenged more at school and he may be getting into trouble because he is bored. Please don't be afraid they are going to kick him out because the school does bear some responsibility for what is going on here. I'm assuming this is a public school.
If everything is o.k. at school then I would take a priviledge away but I would not take Karate away because your son needs to feel successful somewhere if he is not doing well at school. Usually in Karate they encourage children to do their best in school and it is good for a child's self esteem.
Try rewarding your son for good behavior at school. A school environment can be challenging for the best of students and when my son was having problems at school, I wanted to hold him accountable for his behavior but at the same time I did not want a harsh home environment when he was struggling at school.
My heart goes out to you and your son and I know how difficult this can be.
M. B

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C.A.

answers from Washington DC on

I totally agree with Olivia. You and your husband take turns making surprise visits to the school once or twice a week. And let him know, in front of the teacher, that his behavior will no longer be tolerated.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Do you know why he is acting out? Any recent changes in his life? Sometimes even positive changes are upsetting to a child. Routine is key when children are going through a tough time. Try to get to the root of the problem. He may need some support or he may be confused. I do agree w/discipline as well. It's important for him to understand that there are consequences in life. Have you met w/a counselor at school? If not, I would suggest doing so. Then the school understands that you are working on things w/him. I would most definitely not take him out of Karate. It's a positive thing and it teaches discipline and it's excercise and teaches self control. Taking away TV is a great punishment. I beleive all kids need physical activity, so maybe spend some time w/him at a park or doing something w/him on his level. Maybe this will help you re-connect w/him. Right now you are the "punisher", so make sure you are still the supporter and mommy he can turn to in a time of need.
Best of luck. You'll get through it!

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