Seeking Help from Other Moms with Potty Training

Updated on December 13, 2007
M.H. asks from Grand Rapids, MI
12 answers

My 2 year-old daughter seems to be ready for potty training. She tells me when she needs to use the potty, but then she won't "go". It seems like a power struggle, but I wait for her to want to use the potty. Unfortunately, she waits until I put her "big girl pants" back on before she tries to "go". Afterward, she wants her pants changed and cannot stand to be soiled or wet. My son, however, will use the potty when I take him to the potty. I don't wait for him to ask, but he doesn't refuse to "go". He still, however, fights me at changing when he soils his pants. Consistancy is a problem since I am new at parenting. I am unsure what to do. Can anyone help? All suggestions are welcome.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers



answers from Great Falls on

Wow, what a job. I have heard that twins are sometimes slower than others to do things. Two is young for any child. Why not put this on hold for a while and try again. If you back off, there may not be a power struggle. Good luck!!!! Happy Holidays.

More Answers



answers from Pocatello on

When it comes to potty training I use bribery and it works every time. I buy some Swedish Fish or another treat and put it in a glass jar in the bathroom where the kids can see it but not reach it. The rule is that who ever goes potty gets a treat - but they have to go. This includes mom and dad, sisters etc. The kids figure out they will miss out if they don't get on the ball.
Just for the heck of it you might check and see if she has a bladder or kidney infection because that can cause the urge to go without the ability to go.
Hope this helps!



answers from Omaha on

I totally disagree when people say back off and try again in a couple of months. It only confuses the kids. First you tell them they need to go in the potty like mom and dad then for a few months it's ok to go in their diapers again. Then you turn around and tell them it's not ok again. Stay with it. Start small though. Take them in with you and your son should go in with daddy. Say things like, "Mommy is going potty." "See how mommy goes on the potty." Then put a potty chair in and have them do just like you. Then praise them whether they go or not, as long as they try and act like you. When you think that they have caught on put them in regular underwear and throw away the diapers. That keeps you from going back to them because they were easier. They need to feel wet or dirty. Two is the perfect age for potty training! My son is 17 months and tells us when he went in his diaper and we are already showing him how we go on the big potty. However, my two oldest were 5 and 4 when they were finally potty trained. My oldest is special needs and just took longer and because of this the youngest seemed to think he could go longer as well. When we moved I threw out the diapers and said no more, it was a miracle, they were both potty trained instantly.



answers from Missoula on

Hey there. I am not at the stage of potty training but have received a ton of advice from a lot of people already. I am following the advice of one friend who had her son potty trained at 19 mo's!! According to her advice I would take the training pants away completely. She will learn quickly that if she doesn't go on the toilet she will have wet clothes!! It will obviously make for some extra work for you but it only took 2 days to for my friend's son to get the message with only a few soils. If possible you could just sit her down on the toilet like every 2 hours even if she doesn't go every time. Also I have heard of women who go and buy "special" undies for their kids when they take the trainers away. Usually the kids don't want to ruin their special undies!! One woman but super frilly girly undies for her girl that were just to pretty to pee in!!

I don't know if you have checked out It is full of boards on all issues raising kids. I'm sure you'd get a ton of ideas there from women who hae already gone through it.

A little more about me: I am 30 and Mom to 2 boys one being my husband and the other is 10 weeks old. I have tried to search out mommy groups for our area have you found any?



answers from Boise on

Bare naked, on the bottom, is one of the best and esiest ways to go, let them know how sad you would be if they pee-pee on your floor and if they have an accident be sad about it but not mad or angry just sad, the same rules apply on how to get them on a potty, set the timer, be consistant, if it doesn't happen in the potty don't stress, it will, and when it does do a fuuny dance or sing a silly song, be very very happy, I don't over praise, I just have a miny party. But more then anything be consistant and don't fall into the power stuggle, the more you struggle with her the less likely she will be to go in the potty.



answers from Grand Rapids on

Let them be bare butt for a few days, get some carpet cleaner and tell them you will be sad if they pee pee on your floor :(
They are still a little young, if they have a lot of accidents, wait a few more weeks and try agian.
Don't force it, they will do it when they are ready.
Good luck.



answers from Salt Lake City on

You need to get her on a schedule. Take her every couple of hours. The fact that she doesn't like to be wet is a plus. Remind her, when she is wet that it belongs in the potty and take her there to sit. She'll eventually figure it out. The main thing is consistency. Your son needs a similar schedule and encouragement. Let them pick their favorite treat at the store and give it to them upon success. Only when they succeed.


answers from Grand Rapids on

M., My 3.5 year old son is still wearing pull ups. He is happy when he does pee in the potty, but just as happy to pee in his pullups. And even more happy to BM in them too. (Though he gets them in the potty, occasionally.) Sorry, real underwear doesn't make any difference to him. But it makes a whole lot of difference to the mom for clean up. And I don't want to clean up pee or poop from underwear, and be doing laundry all day, do you? Something that has helped is to put a sticker on the chart when he does go. (Thomas the Tank Engine is his currency.) Eventually, I decided to make myself a chart for when I actually have a BM. Then after a few stickers of my own, I get a small bowl of sherbert. (You know....a tablespoon or so.) He thinks that is too funny. Then it's not a battle of the wills, but the fact that he can control it himself, if he wants to. If your daughter has decided she wants to go, she will. Until then, "big girl pants" might be a little early for her. I let my son sit on his baby potty fully dressed. Then when he was ready, I let him sit there for a while bare butt with no results, but a BIG "GOOD TRY," to keep him encouraged. Then I let him watch Elmos Potty Time DVD. It stresses that "someday, you'll be done with accidents," but that "accidents" are okay. If she has no developmental problems, let her be in control of it.
Mostly, when I find that I'm stressing too much over the "next" step in potty training, I just remember that he doesn't need to advance when I want him too....if there are not other development problems, he'll learn it soon enough. I wish you good luck, and don't give up. You are doing a great job!



answers from Grand Forks on

I have 2 1/2 year old twin daughters and we are having the same issue with our girls. One of them knows the whole potty routine but will not go in the potty chair and the other twin will go in the potty chair and wear pull-ups (it doesn't bug her when she does wet in her pull-up, we are still working on that). What I decided to do is to work on the one twin going potty and get her potty trained and when that twin has potty training down, I am hoping that the other one will follow or it will be long enough time that she will want to go potty in the potty chair. When we were trying to train both I never got out of the bathroom and my stress levels raised so my advice is to train the twin that is already going in the potty chair and than work on training the other twin.



answers from Boise on

I agree they are still pretty young. You are probally right with your daughter it's a power struggle..My son was that way. When I potty trained both my kids I would set a timer for every 20 minutes or so and have them try to go potty if they did the next time I would set the timer a little longer if they didn't I would set it again for 15 to 20 minutes....with both my children it was about a week before the majoritiy of the accidents stopped. I also let my children run around bare bottom for a day or so. The other thing you need to think of is not to call diapers or pull ups "bad girl pants" because this puts a negative spin on soiling her underwear..I know this sounds counteractive but if at all possible you don't want to make potty training a negative thing because if your daughter is strong willed she will really "buck" the system. I have a very close friend of mine who's daughter was VERY strong willed about potty training and my friend was having the same problem as you are at about the same age and it took my friend actaully backing off and ignoring when she soiled in ignoiring I mean when she does soil in her underwear don't say much more than "you need to try and put your pee in the potty" and don't give much more interaction or a whole lot of eye contact and engourage her to put dry underwear and clothes on her self with maybe a little help from you. My friend's daughter after about a month of this noticed mom wasn't so concerned or giving her much attention for it and just started doing great with it. Hope some of this info helps. It takes a while to potty train, longer for some kids than others. I feel for you having twins to have to do it with at the same time, that has to make it even harder and more frustrating on you. Good luck :)



answers from Davenport on

I was advised to let her sit on the potty until she goes. That didn't work so we put the small portable DVD/TV in the bathroom (it was large enough that the TV was nowhere near water) and let her watch her Baby Einstein shows. If I felt it was taking too long, I would turn it off. That worked some but didn't work nearly as well as the reward system. We kept a jar of M&Ms in the bathroom... if she was successful, she got an M&M. Once we started that, she was potty trained in no time.



answers from Salt Lake City on

They may not be ready. I'd back off for a couple of months and then try again. Fighting with them over it is only making it harder and it should be fun and easy.

I also recommend Dr. Phil's Potty Train Your Child in one day (you can find info on his website under "advice"). It worked with my son, but he was three.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches