Seeking Child Support Advice.

Updated on July 10, 2009
L.C. asks from Albuquerque, NM
14 answers

I want to know if there is a mom out there who can help me? My ex-husband is continually playing games with the child support payments.He is currently trying to hold back his entire monthly payments. He says there was joint debt not taken care of after the divorce.
Can he do that? We have three kids.We've been divorced for more than 2 years.He is trying to include his schooling he never finished and credit cards that were his. Help.

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S.L.

answers from Tucson on

you need to talk with a lawyer ASAP - my dad is an attorney who specializes in divorce and custody issues in Tucson - let me know if you would like his number

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S.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi L., I don' know much about this but my husband pays child support to his ex wife for my step son. I don't think any sort of debt you or him had/have has anything to do with child support. I believe it is a different thing altogether. My husbands ex left him with a ton of credit card debt (that is thankfully paid off!) and that never came into play as far as child support, and shouldn't. Regardless of his debt, his children need taken care of. I would talk to a lawyer. If you can't afford that I know they have counselors for this type of thing. I've also heard of child support debit cards. I think they give them to people who have a hard time collecting child support on time or at all. Maybe you could find out about that.

More than anything, I am so sorry this is such a big deal. It should not be. We have been so lucky with my step son and his mom. At one time he lived with us and she paid, he decided to live with her and now we pay her the same that she paid us. My husband and his ex have never been to court, they just work it out. I hope one day it will be that way for you too.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.L.

answers from Phoenix on

No, he cannot do that. If you have a court order for the child support, my suggestion is to let the court know of his intentions. If he wants resolution on a supposed joint debt - then it has to be in your divorce decree or he will have to take you to court to resolve it.

I hope this is helpful. Please contact me if you need any further help or just someone to talk to.

Thanks,

T.
____@____.com

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M.V.

answers from Las Cruces on

No, he cannot do that! If he wanted "credit" for those things they needed to be addressed during the divorce proceedings. If you can't afford an attorney you should contact Legal Aid (a non-profit for legal counsel), or go to a pro se clinic (most courts hold these free) to talk to an attorney about what you need to do. Good luck.

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A.S.

answers from Flagstaff on

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! child support has nothing to do with past debts and if he is not paying on time he can be arrested for being a dead beat dad, I personally do not think this is the best option. the other thing is in the divorce all debts should have been listed and who is responsible to pay them back. my suggestion is to find a lawyer to help and make it so he has to pay the clearing house directly (they will send the non custodial parent to collections if it is not paid on a monthly basis!) this may be your best option. I have 2 kids with 2 different dads, both payments are sent thru the state clearing house and its easier then waiting for the ex to send payment then try to take it to the bank. the clearing house does direct deposit. good luck!

A.

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K.L.

answers from Tucson on

While any "past debt" could be applied to allimony or spousal maintenance, it CANNOT be applied to child support payments. Child support is a separate entity completely! Any joint debts should be clearly defined in the divorce decree and if they are not then it is a non-issue. He would need to take you back to court to ammend the decree. If you are due back child support you can have his wages garnished!

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M.L.

answers from Albuquerque on

No, he cannot withhold child support for any reason. Child Support Enforcement should collect all support payments from him and send them directly to you.If you are not going through Child Support Enforcement, you should sign up immediately. After the payments start, keep an eye on the frequency and amount of payment. Contact CSE if there is a lag between payments.

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A.T.

answers from Phoenix on

You need to talk to a lawyer and get the payments garnished from his wages. My dad did this to my mom as well and this had to happen in the end. Also, you need to let your ex know that this support is for his kids and that is who he is ultimately taking his actions out on.

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I.R.

answers from Phoenix on

i should think not if the child support is court appointed then no he should not be able to withhold it short of quiting or losing his job. you may need to seek legal advice but be ready to push it or else he will get away with it. depending where you work some companies provide one free legal consult.

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L.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi L.,

No, your ex-husband cannot and I repeat cannot hold back child support pymts because of some "joint" debt. If the divorce is final, I would imagine that the judge assigned the debt to either you or him and that is who is responsible for the debt.

I would contact the state regarding the child support. It sounds like your husband pays you directly but many child support issues are done through garnishment and the money goes to a clearinghouse and then you receive the check through the clearinghouse and it is directly deposited into your account.

I would advise your husband that if he withholds money that is strictly allocated for your children, you will report him to the state and proceed with initiating legal proceedings to have his wages automatically garnished so the money will go to state - this way, he can't withhold the money and you are guaranteed the funds every month.

Good luck.

L.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi L., child support is calculated based on both of your income and the needs of the kids. The debt from your marriage should have been addressed in the divorce paperwork. For example, in mine, we each had 1 credit card in our own names, about the same balance owed, so we just said we would each take our own credit card. We did the same for our cars that were paid off. I kept mine, he kept his, all that should have been documented in your divorce. My ex has UP TO 50% of his paycheck sent directly to me thru the state. If his paycheck isn't enough to pay what he legally owes, they take 50% of his pay and send to me. You don't need a lawyer, you go to your courthouse, get the packet you need to file (they are about $12), pay the $80 fee or whatever it is in your state and take him to court and MAKE him pay. You don't deserve to struggle and neither do your kids. You need to MAKE him be responsible. I guarantee you he has money to take his girlfriend out when he wants to! Let me know if you have questions...lots of us have been thru it! Good luck!

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G.A.

answers from Phoenix on

From what I know. He is not supposed to be able to do that since those bills should have been accounted for in the divorce. They were clearly his since they were not.

I would contact DES Child Support Enforcement once this dumb bill is signed for the budget. Right now I do not think anyone is working since most state services are in limbo, but you could always try and see if someone is there.

Let Child support enforcement take care of him. Once they get involved he will not have a choice because they will yank the funds from him before he even touches the money.

I have a ex that likes to play money games as well. That is not the only game mine likes to play.

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C.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Child support issues really suck. Go directly to the DES Child Support Enforcement Agency.(they have a website to answer questions and print paperwork) File the paperwork (I belive it is free)and let them deal with it. Arizona had pretty tough child support laws. You work with a case worker and they go after wage garnishments and everything. They keep tabs on them and all of their arrears. They file all the paperwork for to receive the tax returns, and lottery winnings or any type of payouts. They can even deny Passports and take away licenses. It takesa little while to get everything started, but it is worth doing because he can't weasel his way out of it anymore.

In them meantime...it is almost not worth it fighting with him. I had an ex just like that, and I finally said enough is enough. I let the DES take care of it and now he can't so much as buy a car or house withouth them knowing. It took a lot of weight off my shoulders.
Check out the website, it is very helpful

Good Luck

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