Seeking Advise on How to Stop My Child from Being So Mean

My youngest son who is now two has the same problem. when it first started (around 15 months of age), I thought that a little pat on the behind would make him stop. That was the worst thing that I could have done. It taught him that hitting was acceptable if you were angry. The best thing that I have found is to put him in his room alone or just completely ignore him. Because I did not start taking care of the problem right away his hitting had progressed. I hope that with consistency he will eventually stop. Hang in there!

My daughter went through the hitting phase at about that age. We finally determined that most of it was frustration because she couldn't tell us what she wanted (she does have a hot temper) and then the rest was just the fact that she didn't understand that she was hurting people.
We really didn't to anything, mostly we tried to keep our eyes peeled and stop the 'hit' before it connected--we'd grab her hand. Then of course there was the stern lecture about not hurting others. It was just enough to get her attention, and eventually it stopped. We also did time-out.
Don't worry, this will pass!

A.

D., give me more information. What happens right before the hitting starts? Does something trigger her? Does she seem angry or just like hitting is fun? It's really hard to give advice without more information.

I do think a lot of kids do stuff for a reaction. If you're reacting or worse, over-reacting, she may enjoy the reaction! At her age, many kids are just figuring out that they have the power to do things, like hit, and like set people off. Other children might figure out that they can repeatedly throw a food to the floor and someone will keep picking it up. It's a game.

Try giving her something appropriate to hit - maybe a stuffed animal - and telling her "this is your hitting toy. it's ok to hit this, but not mama or daddy." Every time she starts to hit someone, pick up the hitting toy and hand it to her.

Give more info and you'll probably get more ideas! Good luck...

My two-year old has started hitting in the past couple of months. We have started to turn a corner. When she does it we tell it hurts very sternly then we put her in time out. Since starting doing both she has slowed down on hitting she hits when she is mad or frustrated about something. Several times since we have started this she will pull back and then she will stop mid-swing as if she knows what she is doing is wrong. It seems that it is just selfrestraint and emmpathay if they want to learn or not.

Hi there, I read your post and wanted you to know I completely identify with you on this! My son turned 17 months old today and he has been doing the same thing. I think its a phase they are going through at this age, testing their limits and want to see what kind of reactions they can get. Its slowly getting better but I usually take his arms and get down to his level and tell him that its not nice to hit and nice boys don't do that, or WE don't do that in the family/house etc. He has even been hitting our dog and both of our cats which has resulted in a nice sized scratch on his hand from my older cat. He just started daycare about 8 weeks ago, so I think he may have picked this up from other kids too....Not sure though. Unfortunately I don't have any surefire way to turn this around, but staying consistent and letting him know that it unacceptable to hit will eventually "hit" home (pun intended there LOL).
Good luck to you!
~S. (Princeville, Illinois)
Mom of Elijah who turned 17 months old today :-)

Don't feel bad my lil boy who's 2 hits people and animals. I just keep putting him in time-out and explaining to him we don't hit people or animals.

its a phase or they have seen it somewhere..........you have to worry whenhe turns 2 and he is still doing it.........